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I''m going crazy - 14 months since he gave the ''place-holder'' ring (promise ring)

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Aurelia

Shiny_Rock
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Jul 30, 2006
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Goodness, all these posts - thank you : )

I am feeling a lot better... time to calm down, think about things and realize that I am very happy with this man! (The other thread I started about what our sweeties do to make us smile is cheering me up NO END) : ) I''m also planning a night out for us Saturday, when he''ll be back from his conference. That''s keeping me preoccupied and it''s fun!

Aussiegirl - I wouldn''t care if this ring were the Hope diamond... it''s not an engagement ring! The whole ''lab-created'' thing doesn''t bother me at all - he double-checked this with me first and I was all for it. Really, you can''t tell from looking at it, and it''s not the "real" e-ring, so why not? I think it''s pretty fab that we can do such things in a lab! (YAY for chemistry!)

Heidi, thanks for telling me your situation! More and more I realize I am certainly not alone in this! One good thing about my boyfriend is that he is the most level-headed, even-keeled guy I''ve ever met. This is especially important to me given some past relationships. Even during some rather intense conversations, there''s been no yelling (we''ve fought and screamed, but not about this subject). I think that is keeping me sane as well - if things progressed to all-out-brawls, I might be more upset. We''ve certainly not reached any point of nearly breaking up over this, and I definetly want to avoid this!

Lady Kemma, I too like calling it my ''birthday present ring''... and did just that this morning on the subway to a woman who asked me about it. There was no frustration, embarassment, etc... It just felt good. So thanks : )

Aurelia
 

IrishAngel7982

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May 5, 2006
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1,412
Date: 8/2/2006 5:52:00 PM
Author: aussiegirl23
Yeah, not sure where she went... but I''ll admit some rather serious envy about that promise ring!
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Somehow I never even think twice when I read threads about women upgrading later, after marriage, etc... to something absolutely magnificently huge, but this seemed a tad extravagant to me? Everyone of course has their own situations and means, but wow, I was a bit floored by that one. Made me feel a bit small... ahh well...

Back to the normal world
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Aussiegirl : p

BTW: Aurelia, you mentioned that your ''place-holder'' ring is a rather inexpensive lab-created sapphire (goodness, dare we utter those words on here?)... But I think I''m getting the sense that this isn''t the issue right? Just wanted to make sure we weren''t missing the point. I mean a 3/4 carat diamond ''place-holder'' ring would be bugging you just as much, right?? Just trying to clarify things for myself!

Hugs to the girl with a beautiful name! Aurelia is my favorite character in ''Love Actually...'' just never heard of anyone else with it for a name!
Me too, and me too!

Aurelia...I''m glad to hear you''re feeling better about the situation. I hope you''re able to enjoy your Saturday night and straighten this out with your boyfriend!
 

TravelingGal

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Date: 8/2/2006 12:13:19 AM
Author: Galateia

Date: 8/1/2006 5:05:48 PM
Author: bee*
Sorry Galateia, I hope I didnt offend you about the promise ring-we dont have them at all over here and that was just the impression that I got of them from American tv.

Ulp! No no, I wasn''t offended at all!
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I just wanted to give y''all an example.

I agree it is an uncommon thing and usually rather juvenile. I would not feel okay with having one for any other reason. My FF and I jokingly call it by a very crude (but amsuing) name, and it signifies to us and onlookers that I am ''taken'' with an engagement pending in (checks watch) 14 months, 20 odd days, and way too many hours... and I like having a ring to gaze at while Ol'' Jim and his Duckie Friends are lining up.

Every time I use the words ''promise ring'' my FF does a double-take because we usually refer to it by it''s politcally incorrect term.
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While uncommon, I think it your case Galateia, it works. I actually think it would be weird if you already had your engagement ring! It is better to let that happen after you have had more time physically TOGETHER. Long distance sucks (and I certainly know that for a fact), and I think it''s nice that you have a physical reminder of your physically non-present man. My FI gave me a bracelet for my birthday a few years ago when we were long distance, and I can''t tell you how lovingly I looked at it...EVERY DAY.

Aurelia - it will happen...lots of the ladies here go through and can (and have) offer you better advice than I can. I will just add my wishes for a continued happy life and an engagement sooner than later!
 

galeteia

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Date: 8/2/2006 7:43:36 PM
Author: TravelingGal

While uncommon, I think it your case Galateia, it works. I actually think it would be weird if you already had your engagement ring! It is better to let that happen after you have had more time physically TOGETHER. Long distance sucks (and I certainly know that for a fact), and I think it''s nice that you have a physical reminder of your physically non-present man. My FI gave me a bracelet for my birthday a few years ago when we were long distance, and I can''t tell you how lovingly I looked at it...EVERY DAY.

Amen to that!
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There we''d be, shelling out for an engagement ring when we''ve had to go begging his parents for the 3k in immigration/moving costs. Can you imagine?
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The hypocrisy would make me spontaenously combust!

Enagement rings are pretty but I''d rather have the guy.
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TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Date: 8/3/2006 12:14:30 AM
Author: Galateia

Date: 8/2/2006 7:43:36 PM
Author: TravelingGal

While uncommon, I think it your case Galateia, it works. I actually think it would be weird if you already had your engagement ring! It is better to let that happen after you have had more time physically TOGETHER. Long distance sucks (and I certainly know that for a fact), and I think it''s nice that you have a physical reminder of your physically non-present man. My FI gave me a bracelet for my birthday a few years ago when we were long distance, and I can''t tell you how lovingly I looked at it...EVERY DAY.

Amen to that!
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There we''d be, shelling out for an engagement ring when we''ve had to go begging his parents for the 3k in immigration/moving costs. Can you imagine?
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The hypocrisy would make me spontaenously combust!

Enagement rings are pretty but I''d rather have the guy.
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Oh yeah, I didn''t think about that...that is very true. And that is a good attitude to have!
 

Aurelia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
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150
Hello ladies
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I wanted to give you all an update since my thread about it''s being so long that I''ve been wearing a "place-holder" ring.... We had a big talk this past weekend, and actually it went, swimmingly
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He''s now in the process of ordering my ring!!! WOOHOO! Not so great part? It''s going to take 2 months or more... So that''s looking like October? But hey, THAT I can wait for... He''s got the ball rolling, and he''s even kind of excited about it (okay, not as crazy, giddy excited as I am... but happy about it!)

THANK YOU all for giving me the little nudge I needed to move my "place-holder" ring to my other hand, have "THE" discussion with him, and make some progress!!

Okay, now I get to join the "My ring is being made" club... silly me
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Aurelia
 

SoonIHope

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2,152
YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
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Sooooooooo glad that worked out for you!!!!!!
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So....do you know what ring he ordered???
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Aurelia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
150
Albiocca,

Sadly, nope : ( But I kind of like the surprise factor... okay, maybe I won''t appreciate that part in a few weeks.

But I''ve showed him a bunch of pictures (from you fabulous ladies) and I think he''ll come up with something fabulous
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I know most of you ladies have had a hand in designing or picking your rings, but I''ve only been looking at rings with him briefly, and he just wanted to make sure he knew my size, what stone cut I wanted, and metal... So he''s got that info... (5, Round, platinum...) now it''s his show! And I love sapphires too... Who knows what he''ll come up with!

AHHH, okay, this IS going to get to me, and quickly!!

Maybe he''ll drop some hints during the process? Have questions he needs answered?? I''ll keep you updated!

Aurelia
 

bobacha

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 12, 2006
Messages
105
I just read your story now.. so glad it worked out for you... another 2 months is nothing right ? and enjoy your remaining 2 months here in the LIW threads
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Btw I also wore a promise ring for... almost SIX YEARS !!!! He gave it to me about 6 months into our relationship, :) We were both 19. It was a $250 ring from Zales ( now I think we were ripped off, that ring is probably worth less than $200), that''s all he could afford at that time. I used to wear it on "the" finger, although it didn''t really mean much in our culture. Un-engaged girls can wear any ring on "the" finger. But after college at work, people started questioning about it and I got tired of answering that I wasn''t engaged YET so I switched it to my right hand.
 

RoseAngel04

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Joined
Jun 8, 2006
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Yay, I''m so glad the talk worked!!!! Congrats!
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Yay!

Aurelia, I am so glad things worked out. I''ve been thought of you and your situation often, and I''m relieved to hear that things went well!

And while it''s sad that you need to wait another two months... you only need to wait another two months! Yay!
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anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
I''m so glad to hear things are working out! You go girl!
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Aurelia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
150
Thanks guys -- I''m still bouncing up and down a bit... so silly!
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Bobacha: If you had mentioned the phrases "promise ring" and "6 years" in the same breath a few weeks ago, I would have absolutely lost it!
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I certainly don''t have that kind of patience!!!!

Galateia: 2 months is nothing... and honestly, it wasn''t the wait, it was the thought of not knowing IF it would ever happen... 8 weeks? 56 days? 1344 hours? Hehe... I can last that long
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MAYBE more!

IrishAngel and Anchor... thanks for the support!

Aurelia
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,169
glad it worked out for you! Looking forward to seeing the pics when you get the ring
 
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