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I got a timeline!!!

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sumbride

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We just had our standing Friday night date at the local bistro and got into the subject like we usually do... but this time I got a timeline out of him!!!! WOO HOO!!! He says "Within the next 6 months"!!! I''m so excited!!! I had a hunch but it''s really nice to be validated on that, and to know that he''s thinking the same thing.

I tried to explain to him why I was so stressed about not knowing.... he didn''t really understand why I was so stressed since he said the only thing that would change is having the ring, since we already live together and are heading toward marriage... he doesn''t really get that part. So I said "I''m just stressed... I have a support group!" (LIW of course!) he was surprised that I needed this, but I said "you know when... I don''t!" So he asked what kind of time frame I wanted and I said Is it this year? Next year? and he said I just want it to be a suprise! i said what about a window? he said how long a window do you want? I said Six months? He said, ok, it''s within 6 months!

WOO HOO!!! I''m so glad we finally had that conversation!
 

monarch64

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Sumbride, I think it''s hysterical that you came home from your date and got right on PS to share your excitement!!! Isn''t it great to have this "support group?!"
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I''ve been married for 2.5 years now and I SO wish I had discovered PS back when I was a "LIW!"

I''m happy for you! Now go call your mom or whoever, lol!
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galeteia

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YAY!!! Congrats, I know how much of a load off your mind that must be!!
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sumbride

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Date: 5/19/2006 10:45:54 PM
Author: monarch64
Sumbride, I think it''s hysterical that you came home from your date and got right on PS to share your excitement!!! Isn''t it great to have this ''support group?!''
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I''ve been married for 2.5 years now and I SO wish I had discovered PS back when I was a ''LIW!''


I''m happy for you! Now go call your mom or whoever, lol!
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Oh totally!!! He''s downstairs watching tv... I should go join him, but I had to share the news first!!!
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Selkie

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Yay, Sumbride, that''s great to hear! Six months is going to fly by. Especially since I''m sure you''ll spend a lot of the time choosing a setting
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! Are you still thinking about the one you posted in Rocky Talky?
 

firebirdgold

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That''s great news!!
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I figure it''s just one of those ''men are aliens'' things. They can''t understand why we get stressed about it, and we can''t understand why they don''t understand!
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Good luck on finding your perfect ring!
 

ellewoods

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Congratulations Sumbride!
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That''s great news. Isn''t it nice when our BFs have a moment of honesty and clarity and aren''t afraid to talk about it? My BF acts the same way -- "we know we''re going to get married so what''s the big deal of when" etc. Well it''s a big deal because until we get the proposal, its just a hypothetical for us. Even if we''re 90% sure it''s going to happen, it won''t until the BF puts things into motion. Meanwhile in their heads they know they''re going to ask at somepoint, and they know we''re going to say yes. So they can plan their lives while thinking in their heads "when Sumbride and I are married" etc., while it drives us crazy because we don''t want to assume all of that until we get some confirmation from them.

So here''s to 6 months or less!
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sumbride

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Date: 5/19/2006 11:45:26 PM
Author: Selkie
Yay, Sumbride, that''s great to hear! Six months is going to fly by. Especially since I''m sure you''ll spend a lot of the time choosing a setting
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! Are you still thinking about the one you posted in Rocky Talky?

Oh yeah, I still love that one! I''m concerned about the shank though because it has a stylized pattern to it and I think it might be hard to resize when I need that. He said I can send him ring pics and tell him what I like and it won''t "freak him out".... I was hesitant to do that before since I didn''t know if it was even going to be this year, but now, I''m just so excited!!!

And yeah, I think these 6 months are going to fly by!!!
 

sumbride

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Date: 5/20/2006 1:52:18 AM
Author: ellewoods
Congratulations Sumbride!
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That''s great news. Isn''t it nice when our BFs have a moment of honesty and clarity and aren''t afraid to talk about it? My BF acts the same way -- ''we know we''re going to get married so what''s the big deal of when'' etc. Well it''s a big deal because until we get the proposal, its just a hypothetical for us. Even if we''re 90% sure it''s going to happen, it won''t until the BF puts things into motion. Meanwhile in their heads they know they''re going to ask at somepoint, and they know we''re going to say yes. So they can plan their lives while thinking in their heads ''when Sumbride and I are married'' etc., while it drives us crazy because we don''t want to assume all of that until we get some confirmation from them.


So here''s to 6 months or less!
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EXACTLY, Elle!!! That''s why I was going crazy! Now I know my craziness has a termination date, and I feel normal again!
 

ilovesparkles

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WOO HOO! That is so exciting! Hopfully this will also put an end to the teasing, because how can he say if when you know there is a "deadline"! Ha he has been foiled!
 

jesterjigger

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That''s awesome! What a load off your mind! That''s great that it''s so close too, yet far enough away that he could order a ring and propose before the LAST week of the deadline. Good luck picking out the ring, in case you change your mind about your current favorite!
 

sumbride

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Date: 5/20/2006 11:25:17 AM
Author: ilovesparkles
WOO HOO! That is so exciting! Hopfully this will also put an end to the teasing, because how can he say if when you know there is a ''deadline''! Ha he has been foiled!

I didn''t even realize that, Sparkles, but you''re right... this does put an end to the teasing because he''s given me a definite timeline and that specifies his intent more than any of our other conversations have.

We spent yesterday with a group of his friends and I had a long chat with one of the wives... told her about the comment and she was so excited, but then said "I think [her husband] knows exactly when." and I said "do you?" She said "No, but if I did I wouldn''t tell you! You have to be surprised!" AIEGHHhHHH Ok, she has a point, but.... anyway, she then said her husband told her recently that he would have proposed to her sooner if she hadn''t kept mentioning it... he was trying to surprise her but she kept bringing it up... so she told me to "stop talking about it" so the same thing wouldn''t happen to me.
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I don''t know what gets into their heads, but on the way home in the car, when he said "what were you two talking about?" I said "oh, nothing."
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lips zipped. at least in the non-PS world.
 

sumbride

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I mentioned my chat with him to my mom... sort of a "heads up, we''re about to start planning" thing... and she just did not respond the way I expected her to. She adores him and has been asking "what we''re waiting for" for a couple of years now, so when I said "we''re getting engaged within 6 months" she said "So you''ll be setting a date in 6 months or you''re getting married in 6 months?" I said "setting a date" but was kind of annoyed that she turned "getting engaged" into "setting a date". I know we have to set a date... but we''ve always wanted a long engagement... at least a year, it may even be 18 months. I think she sort of thinks of us as already engaged since we live together, so she missed the nuance of what having a proposal from him means to me. But still... bummed me out. Then we started chatting budget and that REALLY bummed me out... I know it was probably bad timing, what with my sister''s situation, but I thought my mom would be able to differentiate between us.
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so I mentioned it to my guy and he actually understood why I was frustrated with her about this and said to give it a few weeks and bring it up again, see if her mood has changed. He said she may be thinking of how much she spent on my sister''s wedding while trying to find her a good divorce lawyer... suddenly she''s not excited about her youngest child getting married because it means she''s not a "mom" anymore... or whatever. I''m glad he really got it. He wants them to be excited too.

My parents are actually in town this week, arriving this afternoon. We have dinner reservations tonight and I''m just not looking forward to it because this is stuck on the tip of my tongue, but I started reading "The Conscious Bride" and I think my separation from my parents will start way before my dad "gives me away". I''m almost 29, I''m not used to needing my parents'' approval, but this really bugged me.
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As for my guy, he''s dreamy.... he grilled mahi mahi, made cous cous, and poured me a good glass of wine as soon as I got home last night. We had dinner on our patio and afterwards we sat on the couch with my laptop playing each other songs we want to use in the wedding.
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galeteia

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Date: 5/23/2006 12:19:29 PM
Author: sumbride

As for my guy, he''s dreamy.... he grilled mahi mahi, made cous cous, and poured me a good glass of wine as soon as I got home last night. We had dinner on our patio and afterwards we sat on the couch with my laptop playing each other songs we want to use in the wedding.
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Oo, yours likes to cook, too? Living with my guy was heaven, because he cooked for me all the time. Living together was a brilliant idea, because it gave me the chance to see if he really would be the type to share chores, or just the kind that thinks ''wife=maid'' deep down in his primal man-brain. Lots of guys claim they''d share the load, but when it gets right now to it, they revert to "Me bring meat, you cook meat" kind of thinking. You can take the man out of the cave, but...
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sumbride

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Date: 5/23/2006 3:43:10 PM
Author: Galateia

Oo, yours likes to cook, too? Living with my guy was heaven, because he cooked for me all the time. Living together was a brilliant idea, because it gave me the chance to see if he really would be the type to share chores, or just the kind that thinks ''wife=maid'' deep down in his primal man-brain. Lots of guys claim they''d share the load, but when it gets right now to it, they revert to ''Me bring meat, you cook meat'' kind of thinking. You can take the man out of the cave, but...
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We alternate dinner prep most nights, because I love to cook but I don''t like to cook ALL the time... he doesn''t really enjoy the cooking thing, but my mom gave him a gift card for a grill and we bought it a couple weeks ago and he''s been grilling EVERY NIGHT!!! I LOVE this! He''s just so into the grill that he doesn''t notice that he''s made dinner It''s awesome. I anticipate a very easy summer for me. I can do side dishes, no prob.

And yes, living together rocks! My guy is very good about the sharing of chores thing. He actually enjoys doing dishes, and I abhor it with the core of my being, so that''s his job. I''ll vaccum forever though because I love my Dyson.
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galeteia

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Date: 5/23/2006 4:35:20 PM
Author: sumbride
And yes, living together rocks! My guy is very good about the sharing of chores thing. He actually enjoys doing dishes, and I abhor it with the core of my being, so that''s his job. I''ll vaccum forever though because I love my Dyson.
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Amen to that! I loathe doing dishes, and my sweetie hates doing laundry just as much. I find ironing hypnotic, so I do the laundry and he does the dishes. It might be strange, but the way we just fell into a chores pattern was as much ''proof'' that we were ''it'' as any of the meeting-of-the-minds experiences we''d had!
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