Am I being too cheap on an E-ring-please help?

[scottyp]

I am planning on spending about 6k on a .91 carat diamond and another 2k or so on a custom setting. The diamond is a G VS2 Round H&A with "excellent" cut/polish/symmetry from Good Old Gold. I''ll post the dimensions below.

I am an attorney, but I don''t make a lot of money. My girlfriend is a social worker who does therapy with lower-income children and families. We don''t have a lot of money, but our families do. I feel any money we can get from our families would be better spent on a down payment for a house (we live in Southern California.) My girlfriend always wears a custom necklace made with a diamond and pearl that were both here grandmother''s (who she adored) who recently passed away. The diamond is probably around a .4 carat. I don''t want to upstage the necklace which means to much to her. I feel that with my newly learned knowledge from Pricescope, that I can get her a .91 carat ring of excellent cut quality, rather than a larger diamond, which she would feel comfortable wearing all the time, and which she could wear at work without feeling overly pretentious or "showy" in front of her clients. I am worried to spend any more money on a larger diamond which I feel she may not be comfortable with.

Do you think I am being too cheap for southern california? Should I get her something bigger? I think that if I explain my decisions to her she will understand whey she doesn''t have a "huge" rock, and possibly she would not care at all. But I am worried. Please let me know what you think.

Here''s the stats for the diamond:
0.91ct G VS2 Round H&A
Shape: Round
Carat Weight: 0.91ct
Color: G
Clarity: VS2
AGS Cut Grade: Ideal
GIA Cut Grade: Excellent
Optical Symmetry: Ideal
Polish: Excellent
Symmetry: Excellent
Fluorescence: Negligible
Girdle: 1.57%
Culet: None
Lab Report: GIA
Lab Report #: 14918398
In House: Yes
Width: 6.21mm
Length: 6.26mm
Depth: 3.86mm
Table: 53.71%
Depth: 61.91%
Crown ∠: 33.99°
Crown Depth: 15.47%
Pavilion ∠: 40.92°
Pavilion Depth: 43.17%
Upper Girdle ∠: 40.83°
Lower Girdle ∠: 42.18°

 

[decodelighted]

Hey there,
You don''t come across as "cheap" to me. Especially since you''re asking the question! Just wanted to say this: DON''T worry about upstaging the necklace. Sure, it means a lot to her - but SERIOUSLY ... HER ENGAGEMENT RING will be WAY more important to her. Trust me. Also, one really has nothing to do with the other. She''ll cherish both. But the ring is about YOU and HER. Her FUTURE. It''s gonna get examined and gushed over and shown off WAY more than any necklace.

Couple questions for ya:
1) Are her sisters married? What are their rings like?
2) Are her friends married? What are their rings like?
3) Has she ever mentioned her preferences in an e-ring, size/shape/setting?

Would you ever consider getting her involved? Discussing things with a sister or friend? Don''t underestimate how important this''ll be to her -- even though she''d probably say "yes" to a gumball machine ring. Why not find out more, so you can really knock her socks off, just because you can & want to. (And I''m not saying spend a ton more money necessarily ... just get as close to/or exactly what she wants ... cause you love her & want her to be exceptionally pleased for the forseeable future!)

 

[KittenKat]

Hi Scottyp, Welcome to PriceScope.

I am also from LA!

.91 is a very nice size. It''s certainly NOT small.

Have you spoken to your GF about what she likes? I think the stone you posted in your other thread looks very beautiful. You should have someone or yourself poke around her head

Seriously, I don''t think you''re being cheap for LA. Personally, some of my friends love big stones and have the money to afford them... while others place importance on other things, like buying a house - rather then getting a 2ct honker. (Even when they can easily afford it.)

You''re being a completely thoughtful, sweet man by learning all about diamonds and getting her the best quality on the market. I think that speaks volumes louder than walking into any random LA District vendor and just buying the biggest stone you see. You''re actually taking the time to discover what makes diamonds special.

I certainly think you should use the family money towards a house, rather than a diamond. You''ll have diamonds to look forward to when you are more financially secure. (Finding a house out here is a major pain in the arse!!)

 

[SoonIHope]

First, off, I don''t think anyone would call $8k being "cheap" unless you were a millionaire!!

Whether you can afford more or not, being cheap isn''t really about what you can spend, it''s about your reasoning behind it. You sound like you have thought this out very well and are getting a relatively "smaller" ring not to cheat your girlfriend out of what she really wants, but for very good reasons! My only question is whether you really know SHE would feel too "flashy" in front of her clients, or whether she might actually prefer to have a larger ring and be comfortable with that. If you tell her your reasoning but you''re just putting words in her mouth, she might feel a little disappointed that you hadn''t talked it over with her first. BUT .91 really is a very nice size for a center stone, and she sounds like the type who wouldn''t want a huge one anyway, so it sounds to me like you''re on the right track!!!

I would also like to mention how nice it is that you seem to have thought this out so much!!

 

[portoar]

Hey, I''m a realtor in San Diego, and I agree the money would be better spent on a down payment on a home. Most people are shocked by housing prices in California, it''s tough.

I don''t think .9 ct is "too small for Southern California." I know all kinds of people with big, small, and in-between diamonds of differing quality. Since you''ve found Pricescope, I''m sure the diamond will be beautiful, and plenty big enough. Besides, down the road if you find yourself with more money and wishing for a larger diamond, you can upgrade. I think you''ve made a great decision and not a cheap one either.

 

[sunkist]

I''m in So.California and I don''t think you''re being cheap at all! Quite the contrary! So.California is very diverse though and there are circles of people with all sorts of expectations. But it sounds like you and your girl are concious about your money and I agree that a larger sum of money is better spent on a home. To me $8000 is a lot of money, My BF and I are aiming at about half that much. And a .91 is going to be a wonderful size I think, especially if she''s not a flashy girl! I think it will be amazing

 

[ivanadiamond]

Hi Scotty!

You don''t sound cheap at all, just a man that wants to get his girlfriend a great ring. so here is the honest opinion of a southern california gal: size really is a personal thing, it really really depends on what your girlfriend likes. I would prefer something larger. My husband proposed when he was just finishing up law school and we looked at rings together. I wanted something in the 2 carat range and that definitely wasn''t in the budget. But personally, I would have rather happily had an eternity ring than a smaller diamond because size mattered to me, but really what matters is what size she likes. But she might not want to have something too flashy infront of her clients, although she can also just wear her wedding band at work down the road.

If you suspect that your gal might want something a bit larger, I think you have a really healthy budget to achieve it. why not try looking at some eye-clean S1 or S2''s, or looking at H or I color stones? Or perhaps save up and later get a custom setting?

No matter what, your gal will be thrilled that you are proposing. Does she have any married friends where she comments on their rings?

 

[blodthecat]

Hi Scotty!

and welcome to PS.

You are definitely not being cheap. 0.91ct is a really good size!!!

blod

 

[Mara]

i agree with the others, get what works for you and your lifestyle as well as hers...she may not want a bigger diamond because it would be too showy for her job. also i have a .38c pendant that i wear daily and it my e-ring and w-ring just compliment it i think.

if you were worried about it looking too small or her wanting something bigger, you could put the ring into a halo setting...that definitely adds alot of bling to the stone. but again i don''t think that you are being cheap at all, you are thinking about what she would want and what is appropriate for you both and going with that.

 

[bookworm21]

Hi Scotty, I'm a California girl (Bay Area)and I don't think you're being cheap at all. .91 carats looks like a full carat to most people anyway, so don't worry too much about the size there.

And $8K total for an engagement ring is definitely NOT cheap. Just my two cents...

 

[Small]

I agree with finding out what she really wants and how she really feels. I think any ring you buy her is going to compliment her beautiful necklace...not take away from it.
I have a .92 ideal cut RB and it faces up just as big as most 1ct rings because of its ideal cut. I feel its plenty big enough for my 5.25 ring sized finger. It''s a wonderful size and can present alot of value $$ wise since it''s right underneath the 1ct mark where the prices jump a bit. I also think putting more money into the down payment of your home is much more important starting out. If she wants a bigger ring later you could always buy from a vendor who has a trade in policy and for an anniversary or something you could get her something bigger if she so desires.
$8k for a ring is definitely not cheap...especially in your housing market

. I think she''ll be pleased with whatever you buy her! Good luck and let us know what you decide on...pictures too

 

[elepri]

Like the others, I don''t think you''re being cheap. However, if you can easily afford more, I would try to find out if a smaller stone would be in fact your girlfriend''s preference. If it is, or if size is just not important to her, that it sounds like you picked a perfect stone. However, she might not think that a large stone would upstage her necklace and she might not worry about wearing a larger stone to work and prefer a large ering. If i were you, i''d try to get an idea on where she stands.

 

[ladykemma]

no I don''t think you''re being cheap.

I do think, however, that 6k for a 0.91 carat stone is waaaay too expensive. do some more homework. I like to buy "used" and get the stone reset.

i teach in a ghetto school. i wear my rock solitaire there 1.25 carat. I have a gigantic wrap that i put around my solitaire too. safety has never been an issue. (the kids think it is a cz?)

finally, hubby bought me a 500 dollar engagement ring and a house. I sit talking to you in a "paid-fer" house. tell, me what''s better a diamond or a paid fer house? answer: the "paid fer" house.

 

[moon river]

I think whatever you are both comfortable with is what is important. You both need to be happy with your choice.

 

[monarch64]

Scotty, dear, you are not being cheap. Your price range is about what my DH''s was when he proposed, and I''m still very happy with my rings 2.5 years later! He went with a 1.5 RB, lower in color and clarity than the stone you have picked out, though. We both agreed that size was more important than the other C''s, mainly because (seriously) I''m 5''10 and have large hands!

There will always be people you come in contact with who have larger or smaller stones, but in the end you just have to do what you think will please you and your lady the most. Who else in the world will you have to look in the eye each day? It''s that person you have to please in the end, and no one else.

 

[sxn675]

I don''t think you''re being cheap at all! But, I do think that you should try to find out what she really wants. Maybe she''s more into size than you think . One way to do it is to go and try on rings together. You can say that you want to find out what looks good on her hand or something. You''ll get an idea of what cuts and styles appeal to her and can go from there. Best of luck to you!

 

[msdarlinjoy]

Date: 4/5/2006 12:24:32 PM
Author:scottyp
I am planning on spending about 6k on a .91 carat diamond and another 2k or so on a custom setting. The diamond is a G VS2 Round H&A with ''excellent'' cut/polish/symmetry from Good Old Gold. I''ll post the dimensions below.

Hi & Welcome to PS! Personally I think 6k on a diamond is not being cheap! Nor do I think spending 2k on a setting is cheap either! I think you are going to have a gorgeous dripping wet spotlight!!!

I am an attorney, but I don''t make a lot of money. My girlfriend is a social worker who does therapy with lower-income children and families. We don''t have a lot of money, but our families do. I feel any money we can get from our families would be better spent on a down payment for a house (we live in Southern California.)

I Grew up in Southern Cal ... my sister lives in Southern Cal ... My sister is an attorney as well, and her husband is an architect. They make great $. My sister has about 1ct rock, and a setting that has diamonds in the setting. They both love to hang with the right people, they live in a very expensive neighborhood. I know that they and their associates, and friends all have varying degrees of "The Ring". I know that most of them have chosen to stick aroung 1 ct, put more into their house, or living situation ... and still be able to travel, and socialize. As my sister''s boss said ... Diamonds are beautiful, however, you can''t live in a diamond.

I know how expensive the living and housing situation is in Southern Cal ... I say, stick to your guns, the diamond is going to look big and it will be so sparkly! Save the rest of your money for a home ... and later on like on your 10th anniversary ... ask her if she would like an upgrade? Or, you could just surprise her one day with matching earrings, etc...

My girlfriend always wears a custom necklace made with a diamond and pearl that were both here grandmother''s (who she adored) who recently passed away. The diamond is probably around a .4 carat. I don''t want to upstage the necklace which means to much to her.

From a ladies perspective here ... Don''t compare a sentimental necklace and memories of her dear grandmother to a symbol of your love to her. Your diamond is going to be gorgeous, just get used to that idea right now ... it''s going to sparkle, and it''s going to shine, she will love and adore her ering in a very special way ... this ring is symbolizing your undenying and everlasting love to her as she stands the test of time by your side for eternity. Your ring isn''t going to upstage the necklace, they are two seperate symbols of love & memories, of two different people''s love in her life.

I feel that with my newly learned knowledge from Pricescope, that I can get her a .91 carat ring of excellent cut quality, rather than a larger diamond, which she would feel comfortable wearing all the time, and which she could wear at work without feeling overly pretentious or ''showy'' in front of her clients. I am worried to spend any more money on a larger diamond which I feel she may not be comfortable with.

With your statement above about not making alot of money right now, I totally agree and support your decision to buy the best you can with what you have. You know your financial situation better than we do, and I say ... I think the .91ct is going to be awesome!

Do you think I am being too cheap for southern california? No, your being smart!

Should I get her something bigger? No, I think .91 is a fine size!

I think that if I explain my decisions to her she will understand whey she doesn''t have a ''huge'' rock, and possibly she would not care at all. I don''t think you need to explain anything to her. It''s just a symbol of your love to her ... be proud of who you are, and be proud of your truthfull abiding love for her, and no explanation needed! I personally don''t think the size is what makes a girl say yes ... or no, or atleast it shouldn''t be the reason!

But I am worried. Try not to be, I know it''s easier said than done though.

Please let me know what you think. I think your doing an excellent job so far, keep up the excellent work, and now the hard part ... the setting! This is where I say ... talk to her friends, sisters, mom etc... to see what style she likes.

Best wishes to you, and may happiness shine down upon the two of you!

Have a wonderful day,

 

[msdarlinjoy]

Date: 4/6/2006 12:44:24 AM
Author: SanDiegoLady
You get what you one, can afford and two, what is most comfortable for you both. Remember that she is going to love it and she will be wearing it because she loves YOU. Period.

I think that''s just fine.. and someday.. if that time comes, IF you want, you can upgrade it. Its not always in the size, its in your heart..

I agree, and love this comment!