Uneventful proposal

[VuittonGal]

Last night was my "official" proposal. Jon and I have technically been engaged for a few weeks, but I got the ring last night.

I knew it was coming, but wasn''t sure how he was going to give it to me. I knew exactly when the ring would be ready and I was getting so excited that I was like "just give it to me when it''s ready!" He said that he was going to do a scavenger hunt when he gave it to me and I was like "nooooo! just give me the ring!"

Regardless of my knowing just about everything about the ring and exactly when it was coming, I thought he''d do something special to give it to me. Instead, when I got home he was taking a nap! I expected him to be waiting for me AWAKE!!! He''s really really busy this semester (fininshing his PhD in Pittsburgh, fininshing his thesis, living and working in WV, and planning a wedding for next year with me) so I understand that he''s exhausted. I was like "Jon, I don''t ask for much and I know that you''re extremely busy this semester, but all I wanted was this one night for a special proposal!" He was like "But we were already technically engaged. I didn''t realize me giving you the ring was such a big deal. It''s just a piece of jewelry, but what''s important is the meaning behind it."

He proposed and gave me the ring and we went to dinner, but it was so uneventful. He''s such a wonderful guy and normally treats me like a princess, but I was really disappointed in the proposal. Am I overreacting?

 

[Mara]

Yea you are but it's okay...my proposal was somewhat uneventful as well, at the time. The funniest thing is that we went to dinner and he did it there, I was kind of like you in that I knew he had the ring, he got it earlier in the day etc (and I was hugely involved in creating it etc) and it was so exciting but he didn't even get on a knee or anything. That is just kind of how he is...not super romantic in a sappy way, but treats me very well and spoils me mercilessly and is usually pretty thoughtful. Just kind of an oxymoron.

Anyway at dinner we were talking (that night) and he said 'Oh I thought about booking Bernardus for even just a night so we could go there and I could propose in the tub or over dinner or something'...(Bernardus was our favorite spa/resort at the time and it was in Carmel so about an hour drive total for us, not a big deal!) but then he was like..'oh but you wanted it ASAP and it's a Thursday so I just thought dinner was better.' (Nevermind we could have taken Friday OFF).

I was kind of like..OKAY we could have gone to BERNARDUS and you surprise me at our fave place in our big tub in the room?! Instead it's a dinner in SF? He was kind of like..HEY no complaining Miss HM, but inside I was like..the two aren't even on PAR with each other! One is a GREAT idea and the other is just a typical night out for us.

So honestly I have no idea how GUYS think...how do you go from a fantabulous getaway for a night to a romantic spot to a dinner (okay at one of my fave SF restaurants) and call it done? I guess they don't realize just how into the proposal most women are and figure oh well it's the ring and me asking right? But it's totally about the PACKAGING (I'm so into the marketing). It was kind of like the time when we first started dating and on VDay he went out to the florist and hand-picked me a bouquet of his fave flowers...it was VERY sweet. How does he give them to me? In a tupperware Iced Tea container on his kitchen counter. He's like..TA DA. I was like..okay where's the vase? Because HOW do you go 3/4 of the way and do something fab and then end it with something that is 'incomplete'? It's just beyond me...being an anal chick and all.

Men! It's a good thing we adore them.

ETA: I will say that he made up for the uneventful proposal at the wedding where he said some very sweet and from-the-heart things about me and our relationship...and I entirely forgot my vows and started to cry and blubber. It was charming.

 

[soulsis]

Not at all.

See, I think that men in general do not intentionally do this.....but they do. He is unaware of how important this means to you. Honestly, that''s it. My DF does things like that all the time. It may be trivial to them, but to a woman those are the defining moments that you replay in YOUR MIND FOREVER!!!!!! Any attempt from him to fix it will just be a mess up. He''s damned if he does and damned if he doesn''t. You should just explain to him how much this meant to YOU and that you are upset because you though that he would feel the same way. It doesn''t mean that he doesn''t love you, or it''s jinxed or something stupid like that. They just happen (proven) to use their brains differently. He probbaly feels bad about it now. I would:

a) let him know that it upset you
b) tell him that he can spend the rest of his life making it up to you

c) forget about it and move forward to the wonderful life that you are planning together.

I am giving you this advised based on my personal experience. They just DON''T KNOW

 

[caligal]

Oh I don''t blame you at all! Considering the fact that there can be MANY more romantic moments in your life, I would take this time to gently explain why you are dissapointed a bit: a teachable moment. After all- there will be anniversaries, perhaps children, etc... where he can be Mr. Romance if you coach him! Let him know what you want, cause they don''t get it on their own much

. Have him plan the honeymoon for a surprise for you- tell him that would be a way to make it up to you!

 

[BigVig]

VuittonGal -

Your b.friend/finance sounds exactly like me! ...give the guy a break, as you said, he''s super busy, I''m sure the lack of planning a surprise or eventful proposal isn''t an indication of his lack of interest/consideration for you. You even said that he treats you like a princess otherwise, so that''s what counts...any of us guys can come on here to pricescope and get ideas of how to doing something cool for the proposal, but that''s just a moment in time....and if he really is just like me, some of us are just plain lame at this stuff, so he probably was thinking that the proposal part was already done.

Just me two cents... congrats to both of you anyway.

 

[flutterby]

V,
I absolutely understand. My ring will be done in the next week. And I really want a proposal, something sweet and thoughtful, not overly exaggerated or anything. However, part of me knows he will pick it up, know that I really want it and just give it to me. The marraige and the relationship is what is important, but something about us girls, lives for moments. So I wouldnt be too hard on him....but i do understand that the moment wasnt what you were hoping for.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Aww, I'm sorry you feel that way. I know exactly how you feel though. When I got engaged to my ex, it was so uneventful and he didn't even have a ring. He didn't even say those words: Will you marry me? All he did was say "I know you're the girl I want to marry" as he was trying to comfort me when I was upset about something. We were sitting on the couch in my parent's house. No dinner, no sentimental site, no one-knee. After he said that he looked as if he was waiting for something. I kinda stopped and said "did you just ask me something?" and he said "yeah" and continued to wait for an answer. I ended up saying yes and it was a happy time, but it wasn't the proposal I had always dreamed of. I complained about it for a long time. It's something that every girl waits for and gets so excited about, and it's pretty much a one shot deal. If they don't do it right the first time, there's no chance to make up for it really. I don't think guys realize how important the proposal is to us. As they say: chivalry is dead.

My current fiance actually asked me on his knee and said those words I had been longing to hear. It still wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it was perfect in its own way and it was sweet, and I don't resent him for it one bit. My advice to you is: don't worry about it so much,and enjoy your new title of fiancee. It's kinda too late for him to try again and there isn't really anything he can do to make it right after the fact. Just learn to accept the things you cannot change, I guess. It's funny though, he said exactly what my fiance would've said and in a way he's right. It is just a ring, although a very beautiful one.

 

[VuittonGal]

Thanks for the posts everyone! I know that the most important part is that I love him and I know how much he loves me. Although the proposal wasn''t what I expected, I know that the most important part of it was the result! We''re getting married and I''m so lucky to have this amazing guy in my life!!!

 

[Morticia]

My was uneventful too, VuittonGirl. Sometimes I think about and feel a little bummed.

 

[BigVig]

Just a follow up point to what aphisiglovessae said...

Chivalry may be dead, but if it''s dead for the reasons you gave, so is the meaning of all of this marriage and proposal stuff. The proposal has turned in to a bit of a cliche at this point, hell, I can go to one of the forums here and pick from many dozens of "ideas"...none of which really mean anything other than, well,that I went to a website and put together the formula to a great proposal!... my point is, just because your man didn''t do it they want you wanted it to happen, or they way it "should" happen - whatever that means - don''t be disappointed....but I do understand where you''re coming from. Finally, if this is all really supposed to be a surprise and you''re wishing for a climactic proposal, then why are so many fiances-to-be so insistent in being invovled in all the details of what kind of ring they get...doing that turns this whole process into a bit of a formality, so on behalf of all the guys out there, I can see where they''re coming from!

Respectfully,
BigVig

 

[peachy]

I understand that you are somewhat disappointed but I do think we put a lot of pressure on the guys to get it just right. We do dream of getting engaged and married from the time we are little girls - and we build up this notion of what it will be like...Very rarely will the actual proposals (and frankly the marriages) live up to our expectations. Life is messy and imperfect, love is messy and imperfect, and most certainly - marriage is extremely messy and extremely imperfect (coming from someone who's been married 16 years). Blending two lives together is tough work, and rarely do each partners' expectations - and the understanding of each other's expectations - exactly synch up. The engagement thing is one such example...and I hate to say that there will be many more as the years go by!! It doesn't mean he doesn't love you and doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with you... and I know you know that.

And just so you don't think I had a perfect engagement story... my DH proposed to me without a ring in between the two wakes of my great Aunt...as in 2-4pm, 7-9pm!!!!

I think the wine with dinner may have had something to do with it

Shake off the disappointed feelings and enjoy this preciously short time in your life. You have a gorgeous ring from the man you love and you have everything to look forward to...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

 

[BrightSpot]

Date: 9/23/2005 12:55:37 PM
Author: Mara
Yea you are but it''s okay...my proposal was somewhat uneventful as well, at the time. The funniest thing is that we went to dinner and he did it there, I was kind of like you in that I knew he had the ring, he got it earlier in the day etc (and I was hugely involved in creating it etc) and it was so exciting but he didn''t even get on a knee or anything. That is just kind of how he is...not super romantic in a sappy way, but treats me very well and spoils me mercilessly and is usually pretty thoughtful. Just kind of an oxymoron.

VuittonGal, my proposal was somewhat uneventful as well. It happened on vacation, which was nice, but his family was around! He did it at a petting zoo right after a dinner w/ his parents & brother & brother''s gf. I was disappointed that we weren''t alone for the moment & that he didn''t plan something elaborate for me. (though he did propose to me (again) on the beach afterwards, which was really, really sweet!

)

I too was extremely involved in the ring''s creation, so I had it in my head that, since I did most of the work on the ring, it was his turn to plan something out for the proposal. I guess I thought he dropped the ball a bit. My FI told me I was the one after only a few months of dating & we''d been talking about marriage for over 9 months & actually ring shopping for 6 months before the ring was actually ready & he could propose. So I had plenty of time to build up an expectation for a spectacular proposal.

And, to echo what Mara & you both said, my FI treats me very well & spoils me in so many little everyday ways (i.e. he usually lets me choose where we eat dinner & even what we order, he cooks for me all the time & does most of the cleaning up, always looks out for me, constantly tells me how much he loves me, etc.). He''s so considerate & thoughtful that I think I expect more from him when it comes time for a big romantic gesture than I would from the average guy.

So sometimes I''m disappointed when he doesn''t know what I''m thinking or expecting or wanting. But it really & truly is the way he treats you every day that matters most. A proposal is a fleeting moment, but you are talking about spending a lifetime with a person. Finding someone who loves you & treats you well every day is what''s important. Congrats on finding him, VuittonGal & best wishes in your life together.

 

[tawn]

My husband never officially proposed. He just told me the first night we met that he was going to marry me, and that was that. Men just don''t get it most of the time, but when they do...it usually makes up for everything!

Congratulations!!!

 

[curlygirl]

First of all, you are engaged--CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! This is the most important part. You are going to marry the man you love.

Now, about the proposal. Mine was also uneventful. I knew it was going to happen because like some of the other girls on here, I was very much involved with the creation of the ring but then stepped back and let him figure the rest out. So I did expect a special proposal. We had plans to watch The Apprentice and have dinner at his place. He was leaving for LA the next day for a week. It happened to be a really nice evening so when I got to his place, he said we should go up to the roof deck and drink some wine and enjoy the weather. I was SURE he would do it then. But he didn't! Ok. We went back down to the apartment, ordered chinese, watched The Donald and just hung out. Then, before I could even think about anything, he left the room and came back with a letter. Boy, was I disappointed to not see a box in his hand. So I read the letter which was the most heartfelt, sweet, loving thing ever and I was in tears--he's actually a real teddy bear but was afraid he wouldn't be able to get the words out without crying. And just as I was about to give him a hug, he got on his knee and proposed. The ring was in his pocket. And I said yes and that was it. We made a few calls, drank some champagne and then went to sleep. The next morning, he left for his business trip and I was left alone to celebrate BY MYSELF for the weekend--it just so happened that everyone I know was going away that weekend. Oh well...

So this brings me back to my first point. YOU'RE ENGAGED!!!!! It doesn't really matter how it happened, it just matters that IT HAPPENED!!! And you're getting married. Don't sweat the lame techniques of these guys. They're not like us. Enjoy yourself and think about your future!

 

[Rube]

I''m sorry your proposal #2 wasn''t ideal. (But your ring is!!) At least you''ve got the guy! I''m sure the excitement of all the planning you two did to get to this point wore him out too (along with his busy schedule!) and he was just envisioning the giving of the ring to be the final icing on the cake. As was mentioned, there will be other times to be romantic!

And to support you with a story, here''s my uneventful tale. My husband mentioned he had been talking to his mom about marriage, and told me what her advice was, etc. So I said something along the lines of, "You''d better ask my dad first"- as if it really mattered.

At the time I was living at my dad''s and my husband beat me home for dinner one night. I had just found out one of my favorite singers (whom I had one of THOSE crushes on) had secretly been married and had e-mailed my husband earlier in the day. So, I walk into my home and my dad says "I hear someone''s getting married!" And me? "Yeah! Can you believe *that singer* got married?" My dad "No, I mean you. Congratulations!" Me "What?"

I guess before I got there my husband had sort of just mentioned to my dad we were getting married. So even that wasn''t really asking.

But, whatever. Now we''re married!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Chivalry is dead for so many more reasons than just the ones stated here. For example, I was watching that show "What would you do?" on ABC. They present certain situations where actors take part and they see how the public reacts. One in particular was the situation in which the male actor seemed to be verbally and slightly physically abusing the girl actress. Of all the people that walked by (I think they said like 80), only a few guys (about stepped in to see if she was alright (only one was ready to really protect her), while over 15 women did something (stepped in to stop him or called 911). The rest just walked on by and didn''t do anything. What happened to our "knights in shining armor" that are supposed to sweep us off our feet and help a damsel in distress? I don''t see it much anymore. Same thing goes with romance and affection. My honey is not affectionate at all (unless he wants something. ha ha), and I''ve heard from many girlfriends that they had to have serious talks with their husbands/boyfriends about their lack of affection. Nor does any girl I know get flowers anymore (not that I really want any because they die, but still). My honey shows me affection and love in other ways, I understand. But every now and then a girl would appreciate a display of affection. Even just a "you''re beautiful and I love you" can make a girl forget her day from hell. You know what I mean?

 

[icekid]

aww, try not to be too disappointed! sometimes boys just don''t quite get it. Mine tries SO hard, and that''s the part that matters

Tell him he can make it up to you many times over forever

and congrats again!!

 

[soulsis]

Date: 9/23/2005 1:35:59 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
Aww, I''m sorry you feel that way. I know exactly how you feel though. When I got engaged to my ex, it was so uneventful and he didn''t even have a ring. He didn''t even say those words: Will you marry me? All he did was say ''I know you''re the girl I want to marry'' as he was trying to comfort me when I was upset about something. We were sitting on the couch in my parent''s house. No dinner, no sentimental site, no one-knee. After he said that he looked as if he was waiting for something. I kinda stopped and said ''did you just ask me something?'' and he said ''yeah'' and continued to wait for an answer. I ended up saying yes and it was a happy time, but it wasn''t the proposal I had always dreamed of. I complained about it for a long time. It''s something that every girl waits for and gets so excited about, and it''s pretty much a one shot deal. If they don''t do it right the first time, there''s no chance to make up for it really. I don''t think guys realize how important the proposal is to us. As they say: chivalry is dead.


My current fiance actually asked me on his knee and said those words I had been longing to hear. It still wasn''t exactly what I wanted, but it was perfect in its own way and it was sweet, and I don''t resent him for it one bit. My advice to you is: don''t worry about it so much,and enjoy your new title of fiancee. It''s kinda too late for him to try again and there isn''t really anything he can do to make it right after the fact. Just learn to accept the things you cannot change, I guess. It''s funny though, he said exactly what my fiance would''ve said and in a way he''s right. It is just a ring, although a very beautiful one.

OH MY GOD!! DEJA VU??

My ex and I designed the ring together and it was late. Three months overdue (horrible custom delay) and when he went to pick it up I waited in the car. We went directly to our favorite mexican restaurant and I was like..."Hello??" About an hour in he said, "Well, you better take the ring because if you don''t get it today you''ll whine the rest of the week". Then he passed me the plastic bag that the ring box was in. That''s it. No words...no sweetness.

I told my DF that I didn''t want fireworks when he asked me. I just wanted it to be heartfelt. I sure cried a lot the second time!

BTW....I am still very bitter about that. I bothered him so much that I got an upgrade

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I don''t blame you at all! I would have been disappointed as well. It is a special moment in your life. But like everyone else said try not to think about it. He got you the ring of your dreams AND you are getting married!!! That''s the important part. Yeah! You are engaged!

 

[hearts set]

BigVig has a point.

One that I have given some thought already.

My sweetie has the ring. I was TOTALLY involved in every aspect. Now that I''m waiting on a proposal (which he specified..."let me propose. Let me do that") I''m worried that it will feel sort of false for him since I know he has the ring in his possession. Plus, we''re leaving for France/Germany Monday for vacation...so naturally, I''m wondering if he''ll propose where his parents were married in Paris...something like that.

Anyway, yes, it does seem that because we women insist on so much involvement, we loose the spontineity and utter surprise of a true proposal.

I hope that my honey doesn''t feel as if his proposal is a downright formality, but I do see the male viewpoint.

Vgirl...Congratulations!! You are engaged to the man you love! I say. Give him a break. I can see how you''d be disappointed but men and women will never think the same.

he obviously loves you and wants to make you happy with the exact ring of your dreams!!

 

[jellybean]

VG -- first of all, congratulations on your engagement!

Second, I want to show you the "other" side....I was totally surprised when my husband proposed. I had no idea it was coming. We had talked about marriage but b/c we were both still in school, I thought any proposal was a long way off.

Well, one day, the day before my birthday, he proposed. To say I was completely floored was an understatement. We both cried and it was wonderful.

Then a few weeks later...I realized I didn''t like the ring. I found out that my MIL had picked it out. (Looooong story there) and I felt totally cheated, like why couldn''t he do this by himself? The style was totally not me. To make matters worse, I couldn''t even find a wedding band to wear with it. I had to have a shadow band made, and didn''t like how it turned out. I kept quiet a long time about it.

Then a couple of years ago, I''m not sure how the subject came up, but we started discussing rings and the fact he didn''t pick out my ring. We actually got into a fight about it. Well finally, 6 years after we have been married, I finally have the set that I want.

So I guess what I''m trying to say is that yes, the surprise is great, but in a way it''s a little over-rated. What counts is that you two ARE engaged and going to be married. That means more than any ring will ever mean.

 

[DonaBella]

Date: 9/23/2005 3:24:20 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
Chivalry is dead for so many more reasons than just the ones stated here. For example, I was watching that show ''What would you do?'' on ABC. They present certain situations where actors take part and they see how the public reacts. One in particular was the situation in which the male actor seemed to be verbally and slightly physically abusing the girl actress. Of all the people that walked by (I think they said like 80), only a few guys (about stepped in to see if she was alright (only one was ready to really protect her), while over 15 women did something (stepped in to stop him or called 911). The rest just walked on by and didn''t do anything. What happened to our ''knights in shining armor'' that are supposed to sweep us off our feet and help a damsel in distress? I don''t see it much anymore. Same thing goes with romance and affection. My honey is not affectionate at all (unless he wants something. ha ha), and I''ve heard from many girlfriends that they had to have serious talks with their husbands/boyfriends about their lack of affection. Nor does any girl I know get flowers anymore (not that I really want any because they die, but still). My honey shows me affection and love in other ways, I understand. But every now and then a girl would appreciate a display of affection. Even just a ''you''re beautiful and I love you'' can make a girl forget her day from hell. You know what I mean?

I thought as I read over these replies how true the insight is...As much as us ladies want, crave, wish for and dream of the prosposal from our dream guy, it seldom happens that way...My hubby often comments that tv shows, movies and books often make the guy out to be so "out of it" or "not aware of what''s going on" or--my personal fav--"so stupid"...well, sometimes they just cannot "connect the dots" despite their best efforts...but there are a few out there that do. I have a friend who has a majorly romantic guy who showers her with tennis bracelets, diamond earrings, restyled wedding ring sets galore and to her, its just ok. He surprises her with getaways to bed and breakfasts and rose petals in their room and tender memories that she shares tidbits of(we are REALLY close--like sisters, but we never share "intimacies"!) and I am SO envious. I have a great guy who is a fantastic provider, a true businessman, owns 3 businesses and is a truly loyal guy. Hey, I am far from perfect myself, but I would sure love to have a quarter of what my friend has on a regular basis. I hate to sound materialistic--and from this, I probably do--but after 25 years this coming Feb. and 9 kids, I think what I am asking for is what all women want: to be held in such high regard that the romance still simmers as much--if not a hell of a lot more--after several years of marriage. He is loyal, trustworthy,monogamous, and an overall great mate...he just has no clue a lot of the times of how to really make me feel that I am his whole world.

I think that is essentially what any girl wants.

On this ABC show, I watched it with a fixation on how the men would react specifically. True to their nature, most of the guys watched, observed, sized up the situation before becoming involved--emotionally, verbally or physically. Its just our differences as men and women, I think. Not so much a right or wrong. I was worked up and glad that one guy--ONE GUY ONLY--stood up for the "abused woman''s" honor and was ready to physically risk getting involved. I actually got goosebumps and at the same time was deeply saddened. I was sad because our society sees things pretty much like they displayed: stay out it--its not our business. I REALLY thought about this alot today.

I detest having to push my hubby''s buttons to get the romance I think every woman deserves.

I willingly, unconditionally, loyally, daily honor my husband--even on the days in our busy lives that we hardly see or talk to one another due to work, school or other activities that take priority. Sadly enough, I often hear from him that he is glad that I am not "needy for him" every day. He absolutely has no clue. I just want to be around him, gaze at him and he at me...and breathe each other in. THAT is romantic...when we have that time...in the spa or out at dinner, it is magical. All I personally want is to be able to have that at least once a week w/o me pushing or suggesting it. That RARELY happens...

Nonetheless, I stay true to him and that is part of what I said I would do irregardless of come what may and I am doing just that...

...I am not giving up on himcuz he lacks some very important awarenesses, but you can sure bet that I am working on him--I am NOT quitting on this man--I love him so.

My advice to the gal who just got an "uneventful proposal" is look at his other fine qualities and spend your focus there. Life is too short to wallow in what coulda, shoulda and mighta been.

Oh and BTW,my proposal was over the phone while temporarily attended another university. It went something like, "Would you mind marrying me very much?" Quite Rocky Balboa-like, but he melted my heart and we had already discussed getting married so that was ok...

Focus on the man and his finer qualities...plan for the marriage...too many focus on the proposal, the prep for the wedding and forget to plan for the marriage...think about it.

Just my .02cents...

 

[flopkins]

first off - congrats!!!! where are the pics?!!

but regarding whether you should be disappointed, i will point out what you said :

" I knew exactly when the ring would be ready and I was getting so excited that I was like 'just give it to me when it's ready!' He said that he was going to do a scavenger hunt when he gave it to me and I was like 'nooooo! just give me the ring!'"

I'm sorry my dear but I think you dug your own grave here, so to speak... You TOLD him 'just give you the ring' - and in my book, guys do what you tell them. They don't think, oh, she's just saying that, I'll do something special anyway. They think, oh, she just wants me to give her the ring, so I will. Guys are a bit weird like that, you know? They believe everything we tell them.

That said, I know it's prob a bit disappointing it wasn't special, but don't let that overshadow the happiness of your ENGAGEMENT!! Hooray!

 

[atroop711]

Most men are CLUELESS

....My darling husband is a very sweet man who makes me laugh and everyone loves him....but he was SOOOO CLUELESS when he proposed. I knew he had the ring and thought that he would of at least taken me to our wedding sites restaurant (we had already booked the site) or even had something special awaiting me at home when I arrived...but NOOOO...we were home, I was in bed studying and he comes over doing his silly dance holding the box out....you had to see my face

BUT I have to give it to him...he got down on his knee and said some really beautiful things to me.

Our problem as women is that we want the fairytale, we want the proposal that we see on the big screen. Some people get it......my sister got it...she got an amazing proposal on the top of some peak while on a weekend vacation and a 3.5 ct RB D VVS1 AMAZING ring...but my brother in law is like that always....he is the man who always plans those special days like a woman would.

I have 2 daughters...I have to prepare them for reality when they talk about the fairytale proposals...LOL

Congatulations to you VG....it will take time but they eventually get it....we have been married for 10 years and he surprised me with an amazing anniversary gift....it only took 10 years for my habit of surprising him to rub off .....so now he has surprised me and I get an amazing diamond from WF....

 

[selflove]

Maybe my story will make you feel better:

I GOT the perfect surprise proposal. It was on the beach, at night, we were walking by the water and we stopped to kiss. He said to me a little thing he says to me all the time "Did I ever tell you that I love you?" and I smiled and said "Yes" and then he said "Did I ever tell you that I want to marry you?" as he slid a ring on my finger! It was the most romantic proposal I ever could have imagined. When I could finally speak after about 3 minutes (remember, this was a surprise proprosal, I had NO IDEA it was coming so I was stunned) I screamed and we jumped around dancing and laughing. It was wonderful and private and since it was night it was dark and I couldn''t actually see the ring on my finger. When we got by the streetlights and I could see the ring better I was -- honestly, this is going to sound so awful -- I was disappointed! It''s not the ring I ever would have picked out! We never went looking at rings together, there were only a few times when we were passing by windows or costume jewelry on the street that I pointed out what I would want in an engagnement ring. Since he''s a guy, he wasn''t really paying attention to my hints, and when he went for the ring he got what he thought was pretty. Mind you, it took me only a matter of days (okay, maybe 2 weeks or so...) to fall in love with this ring b/c it was what he picked out and he put all the thought into it.

So I guess none of us have perfect guys who do perfect stuff all the time...but we love them in spite of it and we are (at least I am) ecstatic to spend the rest of our lives with them! Ya?

 

[aphisiglovessae]

selflove: Have you ever posted your ring? I don't know if I've ever seen it.

 

[jellybean]

Date: 10/6/2005 8:24:59 PM
Author: selflove
Maybe my story will make you feel better:

I GOT the perfect surprise proposal. It was on the beach, at night, we were walking by the water and we stopped to kiss. He said to me a little thing he says to me all the time ''Did I ever tell you that I love you?'' and I smiled and said ''Yes'' and then he said ''Did I ever tell you that I want to marry you?'' as he slid a ring on my finger! It was the most romantic proposal I ever could have imagined. When I could finally speak after about 3 minutes (remember, this was a surprise proprosal, I had NO IDEA it was coming so I was stunned) I screamed and we jumped around dancing and laughing. It was wonderful and private and since it was night it was dark and I couldn''t actually see the ring on my finger. When we got by the streetlights and I could see the ring better I was -- honestly, this is going to sound so awful -- I was disappointed! It''s not the ring I ever would have picked out! We never went looking at rings together, there were only a few times when we were passing by windows or costume jewelry on the street that I pointed out what I would want in an engagnement ring. Since he''s a guy, he wasn''t really paying attention to my hints, and when he went for the ring he got what he thought was pretty. Mind you, it took me only a matter of days (okay, maybe 2 weeks or so...) to fall in love with this ring b/c it was what he picked out and he put all the thought into it.

So I guess none of us have perfect guys who do perfect stuff all the time...but we love them in spite of it and we are (at least I am) ecstatic to spend the rest of our lives with them! Ya?

My story that I posted above is similar....except I never really fell in love with my ring b/c my husband didn''t even pick it out! I was thrilled with the surprise proposal, and yes, we will always have that memory, but me not liking the ring has caused some major hurt feelings.

 

[lmurden]

I''m late, but congratulation!!!

Don''t worry as long as HE ask you to marry him that''s what counts.

 

[selflove]

Date: 10/6/2005 9:23:11 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
selflove: Have you ever posted your ring? I don''t know if I''ve ever seen it.

I hope this posted...the center diamond is, I believe he told me, .67 carats (I''ve tried to block this from my brain--wasn''t I worth a whole carat?!?). Two sapphires on the side because he thinks they are pretty, not b/c I like them nor because they are my birthstone. Honestly, I never wanted colored stones in my engagement or wedding rings. There are 3 channel set diamonds on each side, and the whole thing is in a cathedral setting (this is the extent of my knowledge of rings and diamonds). I also didn''t want a round diamond, I wanted a square one.

But, in spite of the fact that it''s NOTHING like I''d have chosen for myself, it IS a pretty ring and more than anything I''m touched by the fact that he picked it out on his own. That''s the main reason I grew to love it!

Now, anyone got any photos of wedding bands that will look good with it? I want major sparkle so I think channel set diamonds that mirror the descending size of the e-ring diamonds would be good. But how do I match up the cathedral setting with a wedding band that sits high enough? Thanks for any advice you can offer!!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

The picture is a little small, but it looks pretty from what I can tell. Don't worry too much about the size. My center stone is only 0.75 carats. He wanted a carat, but just couldn't afford it. It doesn't mean you weren't worth it at all. If you weren't worth it, you wouldn't be worth a ring at all, IMO. I'm sure he has a reason. I personally like sapphires (it's my sorority's stone), but to each his own. I'm just glad that even though it wasn't the ring you dreamed of, you still love it and are willing to keep it. I would've kept it too because of the fact that he picked it out on his own.

How about this for a matching band?

or maybe this:

or even this:

And this:

So many choices, I could have fun with this!