Ladies - Warning: Sensitive Subject

[monarch64]

Alex, all the best to you.

 

[Gypsy]

Much love and support to you in this difficult time.

I can tell you myself that while I have not had to terminate a pregnancy personal I know several people who have, for various reasons. At 2 months it really won't be any worse than having (I don't mean to make this seem like the same emotionally, I'm only saying it in terms of your physical experience) a cyst removed. At least that's what I had someone (who had both) done.

As for the rest of it, the emotion. I think your mother is very wise. ((HUGS))

 

[arkieb1]

Big hugs to you, I hope that you are O.K!!!!

 

[TooPatient]

No advice to offer, just wanted to send you hugs. I'm glad your mom was so helpful. I love her advice.

Oh.... I change the no advice. Does your mom live close? If so, you might plan on having her come help you out for a day or two. Just so you can take it easy if you need to. Hopefully it all goes well and you'll feel fine after. Having her there to help if you have cramping or just want a day to yourself or even someone to talk to might be good.

 

[Ally T]

Thank you emensley, everyone, for your support & positive vibes

It is Mothers Day here in the UK, so it has been tough to not think too much about next week (hard given the sudden waves of nausea especially ) but lovely to be spoiled by my gorgeous little girls & reminded about how much I've got here. We have been for lunch, done LOTS of presents as it's also my eldest daughters 7th Birthday today, and generally just had fun.

I have read each & every reply more than once to retain a positive frame of mind. Thank you

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I have no personal experience with this issue but wanted to give you support. (((hugs)))

 

[Rockinruby]

Sending you lots of hugs and support!

 

[LaineyRod]

Hi Alex,

You have been on my mind, hope you are doing well in every way!!!

Wishing love and light to surround you,
Lainey

 

[Bonfire]

I've been thinking about you Alex. I hope you are doing okay. sending you healing dust and hugs!

 

[Haven]

Alex, I am so sorry to hear that you are finding yourself in this difficult position.

I was pregnant this summer and found out around 10 weeks that the baby stopped growing. I wanted to wait to have a natural miscarriage, but by 12 weeks nothing was happening and I found the emotional hardship of waiting to be too much to bear. The D&C was the only option for me since my pregnancy was so far along, and like you, I was terrified of the procedure. (The only procedures I had ever had in my life prior to this were my C-section with my son, and wisdom tooth removal.)

I'm not sure if it's a D&C you will have, actually. But if it is, here is what I experienced: I had the D&C around 13 weeks into my pregnancy, and it went very smoothly. I was very emotional for obvious reasons, and I was so grateful my mom came to the hospital with me that day. When I was on the gurney in the little prep area with about five other patients being prepped, I started to bawl because I was so scared of being put under and not coming out, all I could think of was my son losing his mama. And of course I was sad. At that point the nurse anesthetist pulled curtains around me and sat down and held my hands while I had a good cry. I didn't have to say anything, she said something like, "You have a baby at home and you are scared something will happen to you, aren't you? And this is a hard procedure to have to go through. I understand, and I promise you that we will take good care of you, and you will be back with your boy this evening." And they did. I had a few slight cramps after the procedure, and some bleeding but not much. I was very emotional, but physically there was little to no healing that had to go on. I stayed in the recovery room for about an hour for monitoring, and then I went home to rest.

It really was an "easy" procedure as the patient, and I hope yours is, too. If your mum or someone else can accompany you, I would recommend that, as it's nice to have a loved one nearby, especially before the procedure.

All the luck and hugs to you. I wish you the best.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Alex, I have been following this thread and thinking of you, just didn't have anything helpful to contribute. Haven, don't want to threadjack, but I'm so sorry for your loss last summer, that must have been very hard. It's lovely seeing you on PS again.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Alex, I don't have any personal experience but I just wanted to send hugs and good wishes. I am so sorry you are having to go through this and hope it is successfully behind you soon. Many hugs.

 

[susief]

How are you doing Alex? I'm thinking of you.

 

[missy]

Alex, I am thinking of you and sending loving hugs,good thoughts and warm wishes your way sweetheart.

 

[Ally T]

Thank you, everyone. And Haven, thank you SO much for sharing your experience & I am so sorry you had to lose a pregnancy in that way

I had my consultation on Thursday, which took almost 2.5 hours in the end. The Counsellor was fantastic & the nurse even more so. My biggest worry for this initial appointment was that they wouldn't be able to locate 'it' on an ultrasound, and thus send me away for 10 days as initially implied. They were unable to locate it on the scan, but found it with an internal ultrasound. So we're all systems go, so to speak. Under the circumstances of my VWD, the pill option for enforced miscarriage was out of the picture immediately. We have discussed all other options & decided on a vacuum procedure under local anaesthetic. This is my preference. After the trauma of my general anaesthetic with c-section number 2, I do not want another if it can be avoided as I have attached a real fear to it. They are happy for a local given my state of mind being very detached & calm, together with the pregnancy being so early & therefore swift to remove in this manner.

This could all change on Tuesday, as I am meeting with the Dr at Liverpool Women's Hospital, where it will be done. They delivered my second, and it was a good job due to the complications. They have a very advanced haematology department. So they have agreed to take me on once again, with all my bleediness & risk! They are certain it will be straight forward & I will be home the same day, with a day of rest to follow, but will take an overnight bag just in case.

So I will update again on Tuesday, hopefully with no change to the plan & a date booked for the op very soon.

 

[susief]

Thank you for updating Alex. It sounds like you are in really great hands. Wishing you the very best for next week.

 

[Haven]

Alex, I'm so happy to hear this update--it sounds like you have a plan in place and a trusted group giving you care. Couldn't be better, given the circumstances. I will keep you in my thoughts, I hope everything here on out goes smoothly.

 

[azstonie]

That is an optimal plan and excellent care, you're in good hands.

 

[Marquise_Madness]

It sounds like you're in the care of a great team. Best of luck at your upcoming appointment.

 

[Ally T]

Hi everyone.

A very quick update, as it's been a LONG day & there's a large glass of wine with my name on it in the kitchen. Had a very in depth consultation at hospital this morning, one which was supposed to take an hour but ended up taking 3. Bloods were taken to test my current clotting factor 8, another internal scan, entire medical history & examination.

Please stop reading here if you are going to be upset - major detail warning. But if I don't pour this out I think I may scream.....

My procedure is booked for Monday April 4th. Horrendously stressful to have to wait another 3 weeks, but for the surgical removal they need the pregnancy to be a minimum of 8 weeks so that they can visually check they have removed it. They are leaning towards a general anaesthetic purely for my comfort & relaxation. Apparently it's not nice to listen to the conversation between the surgeon & the person who is checking the removed tissue to confirm the sack is present. They are confident this will all be hitch free & I will be home the same day, with minimal bleeding for 2-3 weeks afterwards. That's the good news. Hooray!

The only vile side, which totally tipped me over the edge & was something I had never thought about, was that they asked me to sign a consent form to cremate the foetus afterwards. I wasn't expecting that. It has had me in tears pretty much ever since. How sad that women the world over have to experience this I have hugged my girls SO tight tonight & tried really hard to push this from my mind, as despite me asking again today if it would be viable to proceed, they said not a chance. My uterus is so badly damaged that they thought it unlikely I would get to 30 weeks, and then there would be risk to my life. I cannot take that chance.

 

[missy]

Oh honey, I am so sorry. You have no choice but to have this done and I hope somehow that makes it a bit easier to bear. I am sorry this is happening and the important thing is it is done safely so you can raise your sweet little girls who love and adore and need you. I am thinking good thoughts and sending gentle hugs and healing vibes your way.

Also just wanted to ask is there no other way to do the anesthesia without going the general route? When I had my surgery I was not awake at all but they did not do General Anesthesia. In fact they never do General Anesthesia if they don't have to and that is why I am asking.

In any case I will be keeping you in my thoughts. (((Hugs))).

 

[TooPatient]

I am crying for you. Sending you more hugs in this difficult time.

 

[telephone89]

Oh no Alex! I just wanted to come and offer all the hugs for you. I know this is a difficult time, and I'm glad you are able to speak freely about this on PS. Holding all that in would not be good! Best wishes to you, sending lots of love as well.

 

[Haven]

Oh, Alex. I forgot about that vile consent form. I signed mine right before my actual surgery, and like you, it was a horrifying thing to have to do. I'm so sorry.

I really hope April 4th comes fast for you, and I look forward to seeing your healthy update as soon as you are able to post. This must be so hard, but you are doing what is best for your family, and isn't that the best we can ever do?

Hugs and love and strength and all good things.

 

[Snowdrop13]

Alex, please try not to worry about the general anaesthetic. I work in theatres and don't think I've ever seen someone having this done under a local anaesthetic- I can't imagine it would be very comfortable at all. The anaesthetic will be very short, probably 10 minutes at most and should leave you with no side effects. Talk to the anaesthetist on the day- I know that he or she will be more than happy to discuss everything in detail and answer any worries you may have.

Thinking of you at this difficult time (and wishing there was an "empathy" smiley face!)

 

[azstonie]

Alex, I second snowdrop. Almost 10 years at Mayo and that was my experience too. I've had things done with no anesthesia and regretted it every.single.time. not from pain but from the wait for path results, having to hold perfectly still, etc.

Re the form and the wait, I understand and you are a trooper. That would've given me pause also.

 

[missy]

Alex, I second snowdrop. Almost 10 years at Mayo and that was my experience too. I've had things done with no anesthesia and regretted it every.single.time. not from pain but from the wait for path results, having to hold perfectly still, etc.

Re the form and the wait, I understand and you are a trooper. That would've given me pause also.

No anesthesia is not even a consideration or have I missed something?
I was talking about if "regional" anesthesia (regional blocks i.e. spinals, epidurals, peripheral nerve blocks are examples and associated with less side effects and post operative pain etc) was possible like what the anesthesiologists do at Hospital for Special Surgery. From my understanding it is the safest and just as complete as general. In any case I just wanted Alex to have the best option possible and I am sure her doctors know what they are doing and didn't mean to throw anything confusing into the mix of well wishes.

Alex, continued good luck and good thoughts being sent your way with lots of hugs and love.

 

[Ally T]

Alex, I second snowdrop. Almost 10 years at Mayo and that was my experience too. I've had things done with no anesthesia and regretted it every.single.time. not from pain but from the wait for path results, having to hold perfectly still, etc.

Re the form and the wait, I understand and you are a trooper. That would've given me pause also.

No anesthesia is not even a consideration or have I missed something?
I was talking about if "regional" anesthesia (regional blocks i.e. spinals, epidurals, peripheral nerve blocks are examples and associated with less side effects and post operative pain etc) was possible like what the anesthesiologists do at Hospital for Special Surgery. From my understanding it is the safest and just as complete as general. In any case I just wanted Alex to have the best option possible and I am sure her doctors know what they are doing and didn't mean to throw anything confusing into the mix of well wishes.

Alex, continued good luck and good thoughts being sent your way with lots of hugs and love.

Thank you Missy. I think they are referring to the local anaesthetic, such as spinal or local injection. It's the localised anaesthetic I was after as opposed to actually being knocked out to sleep, but now I am tending to agree that being knocked out might be best. I will be nervous & anxious despite planning on wearing my ipod, so if it means a swifter procedure with no mental trauma or wriggling around for me, I might consider it. I confessed to a very close friend over coffee this morning, as she could tell something was bothering me, and it turns out she had a surgical termination about 15 years ago. We were in a coffee shop & it was very busy, she she is coming over to my house for next week where it is more private, and will take me through what happened. And she thinks I'm bonkers to consider being awake though it with just numbing anaesthetic!

Thank you theatre workers. I cannot tell you how much I value your reassurance

 

[Marquise_Madness]

Hi everyone.

A very quick update, as it's been a LONG day & there's a large glass of wine with my name on it in the kitchen. Had a very in depth consultation at hospital this morning, one which was supposed to take an hour but ended up taking 3. Bloods were taken to test my current clotting factor 8, another internal scan, entire medical history & examination.

Please stop reading here if you are going to be upset - major detail warning. But if I don't pour this out I think I may scream.....

My procedure is booked for Monday April 4th. Horrendously stressful to have to wait another 3 weeks, but for the surgical removal they need the pregnancy to be a minimum of 8 weeks so that they can visually check they have removed it. They are leaning towards a general anaesthetic purely for my comfort & relaxation. Apparently it's not nice to listen to the conversation between the surgeon & the person who is checking the removed tissue to confirm the sack is present. They are confident this will all be hitch free & I will be home the same day, with minimal bleeding for 2-3 weeks afterwards. That's the good news. Hooray!

The only vile side, which totally tipped me over the edge & was something I had never thought about, was that they asked me to sign a consent form to cremate the foetus afterwards. I wasn't expecting that. It has had me in tears pretty much ever since. How sad that women the world over have to experience this I have hugged my girls SO tight tonight & tried really hard to push this from my mind, as despite me asking again today if it would be viable to proceed, they said not a chance. My uterus is so badly damaged that they thought it unlikely I would get to 30 weeks, and then there would be risk to my life. I cannot take that chance.

My mother went through a similar thing at 6 weeks (ectopic so it was putting her life at risk) and the doctors botched it and actually left the placenta in there so she had complications and it started getting infected and she had to get chemo.

So many hugs to you. I'm so glad your doctors have laid out a good plan for you and it sounds like you have competent and compassionate doctors working with you.

This may be personal, but they may be able to do permanent birth control for you while they operate, if you're interested in getting your tubes tied or your Fallopian tubes removed (my friend got her Fallopian tubes removed at 22 because she absolutely didn't want children and it's nice because it doesn't cause hormonal changes but she won't get pregnant.)

I'm thinking about you. This has to be difficult but I'm so glad you have a group of good doctors and a wonderful family.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

It is possible you might be offered a conscious sedation. No pain/memory of the procedure.

Strength and healing vibes your way!

kind regards, Sharon