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Etiquette visitors and pets?

D2B

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I have both cats and dog... so I may be biased :angel:

I would find out what the issue is - if it is an allergy then this is a different matter and sometimes having the animal in a different room is enough.

if it is not an allergy then I would closely supervise my cats and also the children and talk to both the parents and child about how to approach and handle a cat / kitten - in a friendly way - so that they can both get along. A lot of people without pets have no clue how to approach an animal and can really make a situation turn bad e.g. corner an animal. Kids need to learn how to deal with animals and I would use this as a teaching opportunity and not banish my pets.

As a side note, we have had animals all or life and lots of odd scratches etc in while playing with kittens , however cat bits can turn very nasty very quickly. My aunt had a bit from her elderly cat and it needed antibiotics and swelled up - it was quite nasty. Rare but it can happen.

Animals and kids - need supervision - if the parents don't know how to do this and I would step in and teach them how to interact.
 

OreoRosies86

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Good luck trying to put my cats away during company. Nope, sorry!

They live here, and you don't.
 

asscher_girl

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We have 2 cats, no children. We just had 14 people over on Saturday for a pre-party, prior to a work party we all attended. So everyone was only at our house for 2 hours and we put our cats away. With that many people coming and going, and being loud, I didn't want our fur babies to be stressed or possibly try to escape.... or roll all over everyone's shoes they left at the front door! LOL

I knew some of the people that were coming were allergic to cats and I also didn't want to deal with the cats trying to jump on everything so it was just easier to put them in their room :) (their room is also our gym, and all of their amenities are already in there so it's pretty easy to keep them in there for a while, without having to move all of their stuff around)

We did have several guests that wanted to visit with our cats though, so they still got plenty of attention :)

I think it just depends on your cats and what they are comfortable with. Just because your guests asked you to put them away, doesn't mean you have to. Your house, your rules and whatever makes you and your kitties more comfortable is the way to go.
 

missy

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Chemgirl, I have only read your first post so far and this is my gut reaction. If no one is allergic too bad. They are your cats and part of your family so why should you have to quarantine them somewhere? I mean unless your cats are in the habit of attacking people (which I am guessing they are not or you would not have even posed the question) people will have to deal. Most cats I know don't want to be where people are who don't want them there anyway. Especially kids. My first crew of kitties (1992) were super friendly and used to mingle with our guests except they weren't crazy about kids. Now if you were to say you wanted to protect the kitties from the kids that I understand LOL. Our present bunch of cats don't like most people in general so you won't even know we have cats if you visit.

Now if someone was allergic I would have antihistamines on hand, tell them to take Allegra or Claritin or Zyrtec before they get there and then vacuum the heck out of your home and keep the kitties away. But only if they are allergic. It is your home and your cats home and unless your cats are mean and will attack I say let them be and go where they want to. Most cats will stay away and protect themselves from kids anyway.

And if some of your guests are not OK with that well then they don't have to visit right? My furbabies are a part of my family.

Momhappy I am just quickly reading the replies now after I responded and I have to say yes I prefer most cats to kids and in fact prefer most animals to people. No explanation necessary. And no need to fight over the "special snowflake" designation. There's plenty of them to go around :cheeky: though I daresay if more parents taught their children manners and how to behave in someone's home and that the world does not revolve around them we would all be better off and there would be little need for removing the animals when people come to visit. :wink2:
 

momhappy

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I agree with you, missy about children needing to be taught manners - boy, do I! Whether children are running amuck or thinking that they are running the world (because that's how mommy & daddy have made them feel ;-) ), it is one of my major pet peeves (no pun intended with the "pet" theme in this thread :lol: ).
Just as kids needs proper supervision, I think pets do too because we really can't predict their behavior. I think that animals have very keen senses and I've seen them behave erratically towards strangers for no apparent reason. Pets get scared, they get uncomfortable, they smell things that they may or may not like, etc. I adore my pets and they are super, super sweet, but when children visit my home, I'm extra careful and depending on the situation, I may close my pets in the back hall & bedrooms. It's not worth an incident or potentially a law suit, which I know is not likely to happen, but I still can not guarantee that it wouldn't, just as I couldn't guarantee that someone wouldn't sue me if their little snowflake got hurt.
I think you handled your situation appropriately, chemgirl. Since your pets seem docile enough, no allergies, etc., your text letting the concerned parents know the cats would be out and about was perfect. The parents are now informed and you can move on with life =)
 

missy

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momhappy, regarding this situation cats are different than dogs. Most cats (and we all know our pets right?) are too smart to let unwanted visitors near them especially kids and again I say most because there are exceptions to everything. With dogs I would behave differently depending on the dog as dogs can be trickier re unpredictable behavior especially certain breeds. Though I find the dog learns from their human mom and dad and truly if they are trained properly will not harm anyone. And I stand by my comments that my animals are my family and I will not trap them in a room for visitors. Just as I would not shut a child away in a room when people who do not care for children are visiting. YMMV.
 

momhappy

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^Yes, I understand, missy and I appreciate your thoughts =) To be honest, we've got some family that are not very "kid-friendly" and sometimes, when they visit, I almost feel like they wish I would "do something" with my kids and shut them in the back room :???: :blackeye: And I've got pretty decent kids (if I do say so myself ;-) ), but these family visitors just have zero tolerance and they become easily irritated/annoyed.
 

chemgirl

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In this case, we are having 5 couples over and 3 have children ages 4-7. My plan was to set up a wii with some games in the TV area and just keep an eye on them.

Apparently none of these children have been around animals and one of the moms initiated the "do something" string of texts and brought the others in on it.

She texted me this morning declining the invite because it's "just not safe" for her child.

Apparently I'll understand when I have kids of my own. Except she knows I don't plan on having kids so yeah, there's that.

I feel strongly that my cats would do anything they could to avoid someone before resorting to an attack. They are great with children.

I live in a 4 level loft house so there isn't really a room to shut them into other than a bathroom. I do put them in there if we have large deliveries etc, but they hate it and take turns ramming the door. I had toyed with the idea of buying a gate of sorts and trying to limit them to one level, but honestly that feels like too much when there really isn't anything to worry about (plus they are escape artists and a gate would hold them in maybe once).

My purpose for this thread was to see if people usually shut pets away when company is over, but I see that it really depends on a lot of factors. Basically I didn't want to be a total jerk haha.
 

monarch64

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:doh: I wonder if the mother who initiated this string of texts and is now declining the invitation is actually afraid and won't feel safe around the cats HERSELF. And is now using her kids as an excuse. People are weird, man. I wouldn't give it another thought.
 

missy

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Chemgirl, believe me, you are not being the jerk here. I agree with Monnie. Don't give it any more thought. People are strange. Just another area where animals win over people IMO. They make much more sense than many people do!
 

momhappy

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chemgirl|1450189661|3961664 said:
In this case, we are having 5 couples over and 3 have children ages 4-7. My plan was to set up a wii with some games in the TV area and just keep an eye on them.

Apparently none of these children have been around animals and one of the moms initiated the "do something" string of texts and brought the others in on it.

She texted me this morning declining the invite because it's "just not safe" for her child.

Apparently I'll understand when I have kids of my own. Except she knows I don't plan on having kids so yeah, there's that.
ld have done, chemgirl, a
I feel strongly that my cats would do anything they could to avoid someone before resorting to an attack. They are great with children.

I live in a 4 level loft house so there isn't really a room to shut them into other than a bathroom. I do put them in there if we have large deliveries etc, but they hate it and take turns ramming the door. I had toyed with the idea of buying a gate of sorts and trying to limit them to one level, but honestly that feels like too much when there really isn't anything to worry about (plus they are escape artists and a gate would hold them in maybe once).

My purpose for this thread was to see if people usually shut pets away when company is over, but I see that it really depends on a lot of factors. Basically I didn't want to be a total jerk haha.

Wow. I wonder if there is some underlying issue with her, or if she's just a weird parent :confused: I think you did exactly what you should have done, chemgirl and I wouldn't give it another thought. This woman has acted somewhat irrationally IMO, but I guess that's her right to do as she sees fit for her family. It sounds like your party might be better off without her anyways... ;-)
 

chemgirl

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missy|1450191639|3961678 said:
Chemgirl, believe me, you are not being the jerk here. I agree with Monnie. Don't give it any more thought. People are strange. Just another area where animals win over people IMO. They make much more sense than many people do!

Thanks! I really think she just isn't used to cats and is afraid that they will hunt down her precious little angel and maul him to death.

To cat people that sounds so silly.
 

chemgirl

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monarch64|1450190291|3961671 said:
:doh: I wonder if the mother who initiated this string of texts and is now declining the invitation is actually afraid and won't feel safe around the cats HERSELF. And is now using her kids as an excuse. People are weird, man. I wouldn't give it another thought.

That thought did occur to me. Maybe she is afraid of cats and projecting that.
 

canuk-gal

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missy|1450191639|3961678 said:
Chemgirl, believe me, you are not being the jerk here. I agree with Monnie. Don't give it any more thought. People are strange. Just another area where animals win over people IMO. They make much more sense than many people do!


+1 Missy. Don't give it another thought--your friend made her choice! They could always get a sitter and come and enjoy your company!!

Even if you had put the cats behind closed doors, there is no guarantee that would have been completely problem free. Our cats always did the under door sweep with their paws: looked funny just to see a paw coming from under the door, but to a kid is simply more tempting to poke. (and claws are usually out...)

cheers--Sharon
 

telephone89

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I'd bring up the medical issue and end with 'that's too bad, you'll be missed!' :snooty:

Though it is perfectly within her right to decline. I do think it's good that she checked ahead of time, instead of flipping out WHILE at your party. That would be uncomfortable.
 

rainydaze

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chemgirl|1450189661|3961664 said:
In this case, we are having 5 couples over and 3 have children ages 4-7. My plan was to set up a wii with some games in the TV area and just keep an eye on them.

Apparently none of these children have been around animals and one of the moms initiated the "do something" string of texts and brought the others in on it.

She texted me this morning declining the invite because it's "just not safe" for her child.

Apparently I'll understand when I have kids of my own. Except she knows I don't plan on having kids so yeah, there's that.

I feel strongly that my cats would do anything they could to avoid someone before resorting to an attack. They are great with children.

I live in a 4 level loft house so there isn't really a room to shut them into other than a bathroom. I do put them in there if we have large deliveries etc, but they hate it and take turns ramming the door. I had toyed with the idea of buying a gate of sorts and trying to limit them to one level, but honestly that feels like too much when there really isn't anything to worry about (plus they are escape artists and a gate would hold them in maybe once).

My purpose for this thread was to see if people usually shut pets away when company is over, but I see that it really depends on a lot of factors. Basically I didn't want to be a total jerk haha.

Ok, I see this differently now. No allergies at play. Assuming there is no history of your cats attacking kids (unprovoked; it's different if they are being taunted or terrorized by kids and defend themselves) then she crossed a line and you responded the way I would have, too. Definitely this is your home and the cats' home too, and her request would have rubbed the wrong way. Especially if she really used the phrases 'do something' and 'just not safe'.

If it were one of my closest friends and we knew each other inside out, I might laugh it off, oblige, and remember she accommodates my craziness at times. But not if she handled it this way - if she reminded me that she really doesn't like cats or has a fear of them for no apparent reason, and could I please maybe keep them away from her. But this person sounds like she's got an entitlement or something about you treating her cats the way she wants you to. I mean, even the friends who let their dogs jump on me, or bark at me during entire conversations, or lick me despite my efforts to get away I didn't actually ask them to remove their dogs. I just started making plans outside of our homes when it was clear they weren't going to help me be more comfortable.
 

Puppmom

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Well, damn. Definitely more than meets the eye with this person. Agree 100% with Monnie, don't give it another thought.
 

packrat

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cuz..yanno..

10933996_10152595560802227_2855960662874659534_n.jpg
 

Andelain

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^^^ That's me. To heck with the people, let me rub some kittys.
 

Gypsy

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lulu|1450110497|3961255 said:
I let my guys do whatever they want.It's their house. They have never attacked anyone and I doubt that yours have either.If kids mess with them the children will learn a valuable lesson.

Agreed.
 

Gypsy

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boerumbiddy|1450125297|3961379 said:
Whatever you decide to do about the cats, I would indeed ask the very pushy parents what the problem is. If it is allergies, I can sort of understand, though why bring your allergic children to a home already permeated with invisible cat dander? If it is behavioral, I might pointedly tell the parents you are sorry that their children cannot be trusted around your cats!

This too. I have friends with kids. Have been over since they were toddlers. No issues.
But they are very practical and laid back parents.
We have nieces who were children around them too. No issue.

That said, I have a cousin whose children are tbe worst behaved children I have ever had the misfortune of being around. Before I met the kids I invited.them all over. To say my cousin is lax in the discipline department is a massive under statement. Her kids 4&6 bully.her. It's just ridiculous. I would never invite them over.again. And I am greatful plans got.cancelled first time. I would not place.my cats in that kind of danger. Who.knows what those brats would do.
 

Gypsy

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Chemgirl, I think you did the right thing too. She's clearly got ISSUES. And they are not your problem.
 

iLander

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chemgirl|1450110301|3961254 said:
We are having a few small gatherings over the holiday season. We also have 3 cats.

What does everyone do with their pets when they have company; specifically children?

I prefer to just let the kitties roam free as per usual. They are fairly social so they like staying in the same room as us, but will find some out of the way spot to chill.

Usually all 3 are peering out at the group from under the Christmas tree. They are safe and happy so I'm happy.

We have a few friends with kids who want us to "do something" with the cats. They seem to think that the cats are going to maul their children or something.

So what do you do with your pets when you have company?

Kids can be little hellions when they want, and may approach the cats and pull their tales. If the kids have no experience with cats, they will treat them like stuffed animals. I doubt that their parents will want to take the time to show the kids the right way to approach cats.

Sometimes, while I'm walking my dogs, parents will use my dogs to "teach" dog manners to their toddlers and little kids. I always tell the kids (loudly) "It's okay to pet my dogs", and if the parents are not fully versed, I will show the kids that dogs prefer to be petted on the side of the body, not the top of the head. This is how kids should be taught. I don't think there are lots of opportunities to do this with cats.

Chances are, your cats will disappear when the first kid runs after them. But if they don't, then I would tuck them into a bedroom for their own safety. Or tuck the kids in there. Your choice.
 

chemgirl

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The first party happened and the kids were totally fine with the cats. The cats were initially curious about the kids and the kids wanted to play with the cats so I did a bit of an intro where the cats sniffed at the kids and the kids learned how to approach a cat. Then I told them to only pet the cats when I or husband was there to supervise.

Nobody lost any limbs.
 

tuffyluvr

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I have severe allergies and allergy-induced asthma. When I was allergy tested I was a 4-5 on almost everything (5 is the highest on the scale). I was a 5 for both cats and horses and a 4 for dogs. I adore animals and think pets are one of the greatest joys in life, so I have learned to cope with my allergies.

We have a dog, but we don't have a cat (though I adore cats). Many of my friends have cats, and I would never avoid my friends homes, nor would I ask them to make their pets suffer for my sake. Thus, I've learned to adapt to animals. I take an allergy pill and nasal spray before going to a friend's home with cats, I am very careful not to touch my eyes or face and I wash my hands frequently. If I follow these precautions I'm fine. I have confidence that anyone, even with allergies can survive a home with pets!
 

Gypsy

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