Vent/Rage of the day thread

[iluvshinythings]

My in-laws are staying with us this weekend and I'm trying very hard to keep smiling but I'm having a hard time. Maybe I'll feel better if I vent because venting in real life is not the answer.

The in-laws are staying at our house in order to attend a birthday party for our nephews (their grandchildren.) Nothing wrong with any of that. Except - I have a dog and my FIL is allergic to dogs. I had the dog long before I even met my DH (their son) so this is not new information to anyone. So I get the stink eye every time I let the dog in the house. If I were allergic to dogs, I wouldn't stay with someone who has a dog but maybe that's just me. Also, I just had surgery a couple of months ago and I'm not up to full-on house cleaning yet. And my DH herniated a disc in his back so he's not up to full-on house cleaning either. Our house isn't dirty but it's not MIL clean either. DH is a clutterer and I'm pretty good at just looking the other way but his mother is a neat freak so I feel judged.

I think I'm still mad about the last time they came for a visit. They drove so they could arrive any time they wanted. They could even kill time if needed when they arrived. But what happened when they arrived is that I was still at work. So instead of calling their son and asking him leave work to let them in our house or maybe killing time at the mall or something, they called and texted me (several times) so I could leave work and let them in. I called and texted DH to see if he could leave work but didn't get an answer until I was already home. Another solution would have been for them to go to their daughter's house (who lives a couple of miles from me and is hosting the birthday party) until work was over. But no. I had to leave work and I'm still aggravated. I have anger issues about this and I don't understand why.

I suggested that it might be best if they stayed in a hotel this time to DH and that was not well received. We could even offer to pay for the hotel even though they are here to attend a birthday party that is hosted by their daughter (who did not consult with us regarding our plans for labor day weekend - even though she knew it would require us to stay home.)

I feel petty and mean and cranky about the whole thing and I really do like my in-laws. I just like them better when they are not in MY guest room.

 

[tyty333]

ShinyThings...why arent they staying at their daughter's home? No room? When they called for you to let them in you should have
told them what time you get off and you'll be home after that especially when they had other options. Vent away here...you'll
get lots of sympathy where in-laws are concerned.

Speaking of in-laws...my MIL just fell again and had to be in rehab for 2 weeks. My DH took care of everything with paperwork
and getting her moved back to her apt. after rehab. This is the second time she has fallen in a year and had to be in rehab. My
DH has to deal with all the doc/paperwork/living arrangements for her both times...lets just say its a lot. So my SIL who is an RN
kindly volunteered to fly down and stay with her for the first 5 days after she got back from rehab. Great right??? Well it was
great escape my MIL was so mean to her and picked on her the whole time. I can't believe some of the things she said to her.
My SIL said she was going to come down for her next doc apt but after the way my MIL treated her there is no way! So now, it
falls back on my DH. I dont blame my SIL...she is a saint!

I know my MIL is crabby because she is in pain but it's like she has lost her filter that tells her what is appropriate to say and what
isnt!

 

[iluvshinythings]

ShinyThings...why arent they staying at their daughter's home? No room? When they called for you to let them in you should have
told them what time you get off and you'll be home after that especially when they had other options. Vent away here...you'll
get lots of sympathy where in-laws are concerned.

Speaking of in-laws...my MIL just fell again and had to be in rehab for 2 weeks. My DH took care of everything with paperwork
and getting her moved back to her apt. after rehab. This is the second time she has fallen in a year and had to be in rehab. My
DH has to deal with all the doc/paperwork/living arrangements for her both times...lets just say its a lot. So my SIL who is an RN
kindly volunteered to fly down and stay with her for the first 5 days after she got back from rehab. Great right??? Well it was
great escape my MIL was so mean to her and picked on her the whole time. I can't believe some of the things she said to her.
My SIL said she was going to come down for her next doc apt but after the way my MIL treated her there is no way! So now, it
falls back on my DH. I dont blame my SIL...she is a saint!

I know my MIL is crabby because she is in pain but it's like she has lost her filter that tells her what is appropriate to say and what
isnt!

Is your MIL okay mentally? I ask because my grandmother had Alzheimer's and lost her filter too. She was always such a sweet lady and then boom - she said and did really inappropriate things. I don't know if it affects balance too but it's possible.

Caring for parents is a huge challenge so I feel for you and your DH.

Thanks for letting me vent. (My SIL doesn't have an extra room so that's why they stay with us.)

 

[chemgirl]

ShinyThings...why arent they staying at their daughter's home? No room? When they called for you to let them in you should have
told them what time you get off and you'll be home after that especially when they had other options. Vent away here...you'll
get lots of sympathy where in-laws are concerned.

Speaking of in-laws...my MIL just fell again and had to be in rehab for 2 weeks. My DH took care of everything with paperwork
and getting her moved back to her apt. after rehab. This is the second time she has fallen in a year and had to be in rehab. My
DH has to deal with all the doc/paperwork/living arrangements for her both times...lets just say its a lot. So my SIL who is an RN
kindly volunteered to fly down and stay with her for the first 5 days after she got back from rehab. Great right??? Well it was
great escape my MIL was so mean to her and picked on her the whole time. I can't believe some of the things she said to her.
My SIL said she was going to come down for her next doc apt but after the way my MIL treated her there is no way! So now, it
falls back on my DH. I dont blame my SIL...she is a saint!

I know my MIL is crabby because she is in pain but it's like she has lost her filter that tells her what is appropriate to say and what
isnt!

Is your MIL okay mentally? I ask because my grandmother had Alzheimer's and lost her filter too. She was always such a sweet lady and then boom - she said and did really inappropriate things. I don't know if it affects balance too but it's possible.

Caring for parents is a huge challenge so I feel for you and your DH.

Thanks for letting me vent. (My SIL doesn't have an extra room so that's why they stay with us.)

I was thinking exact same thing. My grandmother has dementia and she has lost her filter. There was a major personality change. She also developed vertigo and has had some falls.

Not to say that's what's happening, but might be worth keeping an eye on the situation and maybe look into testing.

 

[tyty333]

iluvshinythings and chemgirl...She has parkinsons which does affect her balance but after doing some googling it doesnt look like
it should be affecting her brain except for causing vivid dreams and lack of sleep. She is 85+ so there is probably a lot of different
things going on...we all (my family) just have to remember that she probably cant help the changes and to not take it personally.
A lot easier said than done when you are doing your best to try to *help*. MY DH is also a saint and is very good at ignoring what
she says. He just says she is losing her marbles and leaves it at that. May not sound nice but it helps him cope since he is her
main care taker.

 

[iluvshinythings]

iluvshinythings and chemgirl...She has parkinsons which does affect her balance but after doing some googling it doesnt look like
it should be affecting her brain except for causing vivid dreams and lack of sleep. She is 85+ so there is probably a lot of different
things going on...we all (my family) just have to remember that she probably cant help the changes and to not take it personally.
A lot easier said than done when you are doing your best to try to *help*. MY DH is also a saint and is very good at ignoring what
she says. He just says she is losing her marbles and leaves it at that. May not sound nice but it helps him cope since he is her
main care taker.

It makes it easier to take when you don't take it personally. I'd be cranky too if I had all that going on.

I know so many people my age who are caring for their parents and it seems harder than caring for children. Sounds like your DH has a great attitude!

 

[Jambalaya]

I wish people who write the news would stop referring to celebrities returning to their flimsy duties as "returning to work" as if they have a cubicle, a boss, and a 9-5! Kate Middleton just did her first official royal engagement in the four months since giving birth and I read a headline "KM returns to work in a shirt dress" - but she attends an event for a couple of hours shaking hands, and does approx one event per month, as she has young kids. The headline would make much more sense if it said "KM resumes a limited schedule of royal duties." Frankly I think that describing her as "returns to work" makes fun of mothers who do have a boss, deadlines, performance reviews, and an eight-hour day at the office, every working day of the year.

This isn't limited to Kate - I've seen countless female celebrities described as "returning to work" when they are shooting a movie after some time off, which takes about four months, they're pampered on set, and then they have a few months off again. Why can't they write something which fits the reality, like "Celebrity X returns to the set/is making a new movie after a few months off." And during her affair with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie stated that she "couldn't wait to get to work". Again, I thought this was an odd phrase when you're a movie star. She made it sound like she was clocking into a cubicle for a 9-5. I would have said "I couldn't wait to get on set." I wish these women of stratospheric wealth and privilege would stop trying to make themselves sound like the rest of us - it's very condescending. Their work is carried out in short bursts every so often, and while I'm sure their roles have their own challenges, I just don't believe it's in the same category as a proper job, so they should quit making themselves sound like wage slaves.

And bikinis! When, when will the trend for mismatched bikinis end? I saw so many of them this summer. It doesn't look chic, it just looks as if you're having a laundry crisis!

Rant of the day over!

 

[packrat]

We're getting five new kids into our program. I feel I'm just ready to be done.

 

[ckrickett]

Mild vent. We are in the middle of adding a new bathroom into our home and upgrading all our equipment for our home business. My house went from spotless to it looks like it could be shut down for health violations from all the clutter and mess. what is worse is it is nearly impossible to get to the cat littler boxes to clean daily so my house also smells like cats! I am so embarrassed to have people over, i can't WAIT for this to be all done. I am going to steam clean every dang inch of this place!!!

 

[PintoBean]

DH came home yesterday saying that unofficially he was told they would be required to work minimum48 hours per week in the near future. Today they made it official. Wtf?

 

[tyty333]

DH came home yesterday saying that unofficially he was told they would be required to work minimum48 hours per week in the near future. Today they made it official. Wtf?

When they said "near" they weren't kiddin! That stinks!

 

[Jambalaya]

DH came home yesterday saying that unofficially he was told they would be required to work minimum48 hours per week in the near future. Today they made it official. Wtf?

Jesus, that's awful! I just did some research and in many countries 48 hours is the maximum workweek allowed. What do they mean, 48 hour minimum? Is it legal these days to just make people work until they drop?

I have seen this before when an employer makes people work so hard. What happens is that people simply become mutinous and slack off all they can. This happened to me once - I was in a terrible job that required so many evenings and weekends in addition to a 9-5 workweek, which often ended up being 9-7 anyway, that I worked it out and the weeks averaged 55 hours. It was total hell. I became a secret rebel, spending whole days messing about online, and did the minimum required not to lose my job. This actually went on for five whole years, so I did manage to keep the job. Every so often I'd do something really good. By the end of it I hated my employer, he hated me, and these days he won't even connect with me on LinkedIn. I left that job eleven years ago and me and that boss still hate each other. It was all because he worked me into the ground and I felt it was horrendous treatment. The only time I wasn't at that job was when I was in bed. Due to all the evening and weekend work I also had no life. I didn't have a date in five years. I'm glad I got back at the boss by doing as little as possible. (I did try throughout to get a new job and eventually succeeded.)

At another job, there was a girl who started off bright and keen. After being treated badly over a couple of years, she went totally hardball. She waited until the busiest time of year when there was no way they could lose her, and she went to them and told them she had another job and would take it unless they have her a raise and a promotion. She succeeded. I know there was no job offer because she told me so herself. After the way she'd been treated, I didn't blame her for twisting their arms.

Your DH's workplace may try to enforce this nonsense, but people won't necessarily put up with it or be productive. What line of work is he in?

 

[TooPatient]

Pinto -- Wow. Um, is that normal in his industry!?!? I know some fields that is normal or even pretty generous hours but for a lot, that is not standard and way not productive.

 

[azstonie]

DH came home yesterday saying that unofficially he was told they would be required to work minimum48 hours per week in the near future. Today they made it official. Wtf?

My former employer did the same to my unit, and because my unit telecommuted (which I didnt like much, I enjoy a work environment) they felt they owned us 24/7. First it was voluntary then mandatory. We were told as we were getting paid we had no right to disagree with it.

I took an early out as I was vested in my pension.

 

[PintoBean]

DH came home yesterday saying that unofficially he was told they would be required to work minimum48 hours per week in the near future. Today they made it official. Wtf?

When they said "near" they weren't kiddin! That stinks!

It absolutely does! The parents with kids in daycare had to leave early anyways because there was no notice for them to make arrangements!

 

[PintoBean]

DH came home yesterday saying that unofficially he was told they would be required to work minimum48 hours per week in the near future. Today they made it official. Wtf?

Jesus, that's awful! I just did some research and in many countries 48 hours is the maximum workweek allowed. What do they mean, 48 hour minimum? Is it legal these days to just make people work until they drop?

I have seen this before when an employer makes people work so hard. What happens is that people simply become mutinous and slack off all they can. This happened to me once - I was in a terrible job that required so many evenings and weekends in addition to a 9-5 workweek, which often ended up being 9-7 anyway, that I worked it out and the weeks averaged 55 hours. It was total hell. I became a secret rebel, spending whole days messing about online, and did the minimum required not to lose my job. This actually went on for five whole years, so I did manage to keep the job. Every so often I'd do something really good. By the end of it I hated my employer, he hated me, and these days he won't even connect with me on LinkedIn. I left that job eleven years ago and me and that boss still hate each other. It was all because he worked me into the ground and I felt it was horrendous treatment. The only time I wasn't at that job was when I was in bed. Due to all the evening and weekend work I also had no life. I didn't have a date in five years. I'm glad I got back at the boss by doing as little as possible. (I did try throughout to get a new job and eventually succeeded.)

At another job, there was a girl who started off bright and keen. After being treated badly over a couple of years, she went totally hardball. She waited until the busiest time of year when there was no way they could lose her, and she went to them and told them she had another job and would take it unless they have her a raise and a promotion. She succeeded. I know there was no job offer because she told me so herself. After the way she'd been treated, I didn't blame her for twisting their arms.

Your DH's workplace may try to enforce this nonsense, but people won't necessarily put up with it or be productive. What line of work is he in?

This is a software company. My friend was in a similar situation and he said that all it did was actually slow down productivity bc people would take ten hours to accomplish what they would have in 8 hrs lolol. Apparently management wants to see bodies at work even if you have nothing to do. So absurd!

 

[PintoBean]

Pinto -- Wow. Um, is that normal in his industry!?!? I know some fields that is normal or even pretty generous hours but for a lot, that is not standard and way not productive.

I don't think this is the norm. The COO walks up and down the aisles I'm that department at 830 to see who is late, and 540 to see who left at 530 on the dot. I think that he pushed this initiative for longer working hours based on his belief that the more hours worked will impact project prodictivity.

 

[PintoBean]

DH came home yesterday saying that unofficially he was told they would be required to work minimum48 hours per week in the near future. Today they made it official. Wtf?

My former employer did the same to my unit, and because my unit telecommuted (which I didnt like much, I enjoy a work environment) they felt they owned us 24/7. First it was voluntary then mandatory. We were told as we were getting paid we had no right to disagree with it.

I took an early out as I was vested in my pension.

DH expects lots of voluntary leaving of the company...

 

[Matata]

Got a call Saturday from the credit card fraud people about my card being hacked. Some random thief decides "oh hey, I like this number, think I'll buy a few things." I know it's bound to happen from time to time. What gets my panties in a bunch is that, even when I can pinpoint where/when the hack occurred and the credit card company can verify it, I don't get the satisfaction of making the thief's life miserable for even a short amount of time. Credit card fraud agent said, it's their credit and they're responsible for the debt so I can't get no sat tis fac tion. Poop.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Matata, my credit card got hacked last week too. Someone tried 13 times to makes charges in Brazil, 5 of those 13 charges were over $20,000 USD. Fortunately Chase called me and asked if I was in Brazil (which is not unheard of for me), but I assured them I was not!

 

[TooPatient]

Pinto -- Wow. Um, is that normal in his industry!?!? I know some fields that is normal or even pretty generous hours but for a lot, that is not standard and way not productive.

I don't think this is the norm. The COO walks up and down the aisles I'm that department at 830 to see who is late, and 540 to see who left at 530 on the dot. I think that he pushed this initiative for longer working hours based on his belief that the more hours worked will impact project prodictivity.

Way not normal in software! DH is a software guy and it is pretty standard to have very flexible schedule. Show up for meetings but other than that, people drift in somewhere between 7 and 10 then leave somewhere between 3 and 5. Most set up to work from home too. May or may not do more hours at home depending on project status. May work from home a day or two a week. May even work remotely while on vacation for some weeks.

DH said he would start looking for another job and get out as soon as possible. That is not how a company succeeds.

 

[momhappy]

Just an observation I made recently - So a wife can give birth to human beings and she gets a pat on the back and a "congratulations", but the spouse has surgery on one of his limbs and suddenly everyone is calling, texting, and offering to bring dinner.....
Vent over.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I have a vent. I have a very stressful, high pace job. It sometimes annoys me that co-workers seem to have time to check FB, text, online shop, take long lunches, etc when most days I work through lunch and stay late. However I let it go unless it directly effects me. Well, today it did. A co-worker said she would do two very simple things to help me. She did neither. When I asked for an update she proceeded to show me her new BF's photo from her Match app and tell me all about him. WTF? I don't have time! I know sometimes it is difficult to focus but why am I the only one working my butt off? Also, don't tell me you are going to do something and don't, which then creates MORE work for me and pisses me off. Are we adults? IDK...sometimes I feel stuck in middle school. Also, when I am running around, stressed out, the last thing I want to talk about is anyone's personal life. Sorry...not interested. *sigh*

 

[aljdewey]

Matata, my credit card got hacked last week too. Someone tried 13 times to makes charges in Brazil, 5 of those 13 charges were over $20,000 USD. Fortunately Chase called me and asked if I was in Brazil (which is not unheard of for me), but I assured them I was not!

Sorry to hear about your card hacks, ladies.

My bitch is just the opposite. BoFA has at least 7-8 years' worth of purchase activity history on me (to know my travel/purchase patterns) and yet declined a purchase for $200 that I tried to make a mere 19 miles from my house. I called customer service, reminded them that I frequently travel in the lower 48 states, and to note that on my account.

That 20 minutes spent on the phone did nothing to stop them from declining a $10.47 purchase at Walgreen's in California the next week. Are you effing kidding me?

They used to send a text immediately if they suspected a fraudulent transaction, and this worked incredibly well. I'd reply to the text, and life would move on. Now I had to spend another 30 minutes and 3 supervisors explaining that yes, it's a short 6-hour direct flight to travel within my OWN COUNTRY, and that they've been told several times that I travel domestically.

 

[ckrickett]

Matata, my credit card got hacked last week too. Someone tried 13 times to makes charges in Brazil, 5 of those 13 charges were over $20,000 USD. Fortunately Chase called me and asked if I was in Brazil (which is not unheard of for me), but I assured them I was not!

Sorry to hear about your card hacks, ladies.

My bitch is just the opposite. BoFA has at least 7-8 years' worth of purchase activity history on me (to know my travel/purchase patterns) and yet declined a purchase for $200 that I tried to make a mere 19 miles from my house. I called customer service, reminded them that I frequently travel in the lower 48 states, and to note that on my account.

That 20 minutes spent on the phone did nothing to stop them from declining a $10.47 purchase at Walgreen's in California the next week. Are you effing kidding me?

They used to send a text immediately if they suspected a fraudulent transaction, and this worked incredibly well. I'd reply to the text, and life would move on. Now I had to spend another 30 minutes and 3 supervisors explaining that yes, it's a short 6-hour direct flight to travel within my OWN COUNTRY, and that they've been told several times that I travel domestically.

I can relate to BoA troubles. I had no cash and was 30 miles from my house. I was literally out of gas, so I went to a gas station and they declined my gas purchase AND locked my card. so I couldn't even use it, even after I called they said they had canceled it and I would have to drive to a BoA location to get a temp. I was like are you ^%&**$# kidding me I don't even have enough gas to pull into a parking space in front of this gas station!

 

[hoover]

DH and I went to see the Martian today for date night. The experience was totally ruined by the guy sitting beside me who insisted on spreading his legs out so far apart that his legs crossed into my personal space. Why do guys have to spread their legs so far, especially in public spaces??? If their dingleberries are really so big that they can't sit normally, they need to see a doctor...

He was even douchier by talking to his buddy through the movie too.

 

[chemgirl]

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. My family lives far away so we usually celebrate with DH's dad. This year it's a no because I'm a b word. Not kidding. Step mom in law said this. I have been going out of my way to be nice and helpful. This was shocking to the step siblings as well. A few called me to let me know that they found the entire thing to be ridiculous.

So annoyed, and sad for DH, and annoyed.

 

[House Cat]

What is up with all of the children's homemade lunches that are fashioned into faces and characters and full imitations of Van Gogh's Starry Night? Is this necessary? Does the child feel more loved when they open their lunch box and see that their sandwich looks just like Ariel from Little Mermaid? Does anyone else find it a little sadistic that someone is making their child is eat The Little Mermaid?

I was just on Pinterest and now I am supposed to put pretzel sticks into cherry tomatoes to make them look like little trees. First it was carving faces or love notes into the skin of bananas, then it was turning lettuce into the leaves of a flower while the fruit roll-up created the bud, but NOW we have cherry tomato trees!

Who has time for this?

Pinterest, you have gone too far! You are creating creepy little monster children who think it is perfectly fine to be cannibals and eat anything that resembles a disney character. Or is it ok, because Ariel is half fish?

proof:

 

[tyty333]

Oh gosh, I think it's ok for kids to eat it but seriously, who has time for that??? I slam a peanut butter and jelly together, grab some
applesauce, grapes, a cheese sticks, water bottle and done! She doesnt even want me to pack her a dessert because she wants to
eat healthy.

 

[ckrickett]

Just found out a nest of carpenter ants is living in our car, they came swarming out when I opened the backseat. They are coming through the backseat through the seatbelt hole. We keep our car pristine, clean, vacuumed and rarely eat in the car. But we live in lovely south florida, in a beautiful wooded area so I guess with all the rain they moved on in. I am not allergic but am HIGHLY reactive if I get ant bites so having giant red ants have the potential to bite me when I am on the highway is not something I want to deal with. UGH

debating on calling Sorkin or bombing it, I laid some ant bait so I will give it a few days to see if it works. good thing I don't have to drive anywhere!