shape
carat
color
clarity

"Natural" Childbirth Overrated?

ericad

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jul 28, 2007
Messages
2,033
sugarski|1441220197|3922740 said:
ericad|1441210047|3922656 said:
momhappy|1441209684|3922654 said:
^epidurals aren't necessarily supposed to take away all of the pain. Each medical facility can utilize their own "cocktail" of drugs, so while one epidural might take away almost all of the pain, another one might just take the edge off (like the one that I had). I still felt a considerable amount of pain with my epidural, but the pain was tolerable and allowed me to be human and focus on the task at hand (as opposed to my non-epidural experience where it was pretty much all a blur because I couldn't function due to the pain).

Childbirth is intensely personal. I would advocate that each woman does what's best for her. I don't think that there is some "badge of honor" that should be associated with birthing a child drug-free - if a woman chooses to go that route, fabulous, but I don't think it minimizes any other birth experience.

That's possible, but the lady who did my epidural had to do it 3 or 4 times (I've blocked the memory) and complained that I had "very dense discs" lol, and while pushing I distinctly remember wanting to kill myself, my eyes frantically searching for an open window to throw myself out of - if a drug-free birth is even worse than that, I'm shocked that we haven't gone extinct lol. Around that time the nurse, and my husband, suggested that I was "pushing wrong" and so I killed them both.

There's a reason my daughter is an only child, lol.


EricaD, I don't know how to highlight just part of your quote, but the last few lines of this made me laugh very hard. And cry a little bit.

:D
 

yennyfire

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
6,872
I've had one of each. I unintentionally had a drug free birth with my son, who decided to stay put til they evicted him at almost 42 weeks. They broke my water (after giving me an enema...thank goodness there was no shaving involved! :shock: ) and he arrived in 90 minutes...too fast to get an epidural. They did have to give me local anesthesia so that they could stitch me up afterwards...we can't watch our video because you see me throwing the baby at my DH and screaming in pain....I guess they thought that after a drug free delivery, stitches would be a breeze???? :???:

With DD, I was induced early because I was having back problems and had an epidural immediately before they started Pitocin. I felt nothing til the epidural wore off...then, my damn back hurt so bad, I was begging them for another epi!

There is no "right" or "wrong"...as long as the outcome is a healthy baby and mama, who cares??? Now, my beef is that no one told me how hard breastfeeding could be...I thought I was a total failure as a Mom when DS kept losing weight and the pediatrician told me to either formula feed or start pumping.....the bottom line is that, as women, we need to support one another, not tear each other down!
 

Niel

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 23, 2012
Messages
20,044
yennyfire|1441232056|3922836 said:
I've had one of each. I unintentionally had a drug free birth with my son, who decided to stay put til they evicted him at almost 42 weeks. They broke my water (after giving me an enema...thank goodness there was no shaving involved! :shock: ) and he arrived in 90 minutes...too fast to get an epidural. They did have to give me local anesthesia so that they could stitch me up afterwards...we can't watch our video because you see me throwing the baby at my DH and screaming in pain....I guess they thought that after a drug free delivery, stitches would be a breeze???? :???:

With DD, I was induced early because I was having back problems and had an epidural immediately before they started Pitocin. I felt nothing til the epidural wore off...then, my damn back hurt so bad, I was begging them for another epi!

There is no "right" or "wrong"...as long as the outcome is a healthy baby and mama, who cares??? Now, my beef is that no one told me how hard breastfeeding could be...I thought I was a total failure as a Mom when DS kept losing weight and the pediatrician told me to either formula feed or start pumping.....the bottom line is that, as women, we need to support one another, not tear each other down!

I know exactly what you mean about breastfeeding.

What I wish I had known better, or really understood, was my post partum. I thought it would result in ME feeling the " baby blues" (what an adorable name some man came up with) but what it really did was give me zero feelings of attachment for my daughter. Now that sure makes you feel like a failure. After my 30+ labor I'm too tired to think straight, they won't let me sleep long enough because this baby needs feeding. This baby I can't get to latch and I have no emotional attachment to.

God those feelings are so hard to explain to someone I think.
 

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
11,676
Breastfeeding can be incredibly hard at first, I agree. I don't want to start a "mommy war" but I think sometimes people give up too easily at first struggle. Doctors are way too quick to push the formula IMO. That's a topic for another day I suppose.

The bottom line is, as a mother, basically everything you do or don't do is going to get judged. Extended breastfeeding, formula feeding, C-section, attachment parenting, epidural, whatever. Seems like everyone has an opinion. Just do what's best for your child and ignore everyone else. Have you all seen that Similac spot on Youtube? So awesome! Gets me choked up every time.
 

Niel

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 23, 2012
Messages
20,044
Laila619|1441238663|3922885 said:
Breastfeeding can be incredibly hard at first, I agree. I don't want to start a "mommy war" but I think sometimes people give up too easily at first struggle. Doctors are way too quick to push the formula IMO. That's a topic for another day I suppose.

The bottom line is, as a mother, basically everything you do or don't do is going to get judged. Extended breastfeeding, formula feeding, C-section, attachment parenting, epidural, whatever. Seems like everyone has an opinion. Just do what's best for your child and ignore everyone else. Have you all seen that Similac spot on Youtube? So awesome! Gets me choked up every time.

Love your profile pic :))

And yes I've seen that I can't even handle it. But M flipped some switch when she came out and now I cry at everything
 

iLander

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
6,731
Okay, I'll say it: NOT BREASTFEEDING IS OKAY! :wavey:

If you do, or you don't, it's fine. There must be TONS of women that don't breastfeed, because there is a lot of formula sold in this world. Shiploads of it.

I tried breastfeeding my son for the first few days, realized it hurt like $hit and I stopped. He's perfectly fine. Not any more or less sick then any other kid, not more or less attached then any other person. But he is in banking now, so maybe that was the problem? :lol: I joke.

Breastfed my daughter for six weeks, she's fine too. My breasts are numb now, which makes me sad. :(sad But whatever, it's done. Never used a breast pump for anything, ever.

I think in the spirit of acceptance, which is what we have going here, just as long as the baby grows at an healthy rate, it's all good. They all manage to grow up somehow, so not sure what the big fuss is about. :bigsmile:

Don't let your "friends" judge you, because if they do, they are not actually your friends.
 

iLander

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
6,731
Niel|1441238953|3922888 said:
And yes I've seen that I can't even handle it. But M flipped some switch when she came out and now I cry at everything

(General postpartum advice/opinion, not sure when Neil had her baby exactly.)

Of course you do! You've just had 50 billion volts of hormones coursing through your system, did you think that would have no effect? Did you know that a girl baby is born with all her eggs? So you were carrying around all your eggs, and all of hers! That's quite a load!

Even with boy babies, the whole pregnancy and birth thing is a hormone festival! What you feel is perfectly normal. :appl: And new babies are exhausting and grueling hard work. Give yourself permission to realize it's not easy. Anyone that says it is, is lying to you, or has forgotten how hard it was.

When I was pregnant with DD, I had terrible hot flashes and crying. One day I came home from work, got so hot and fussy I just went in the pool fully clothed. DH threw in a chair for me and I just sat and cried and cooled off. It felt so good. At least for a few minutes, lol.

The thing you have to realize about feeling bad is that it won't last forever. It takes time, and each day you'll be a little better. Lots of moms have issues when there babies are new. But you don't see any mothers of sixth graders crying every day, right? :) So realize it's not forever.

Ask the pediatrician or obstetrician about what's bothering you, I think he might have run into it once or twice before ;-) :D I'm sure he/she has some suggestions.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
58,547
iLander|1441244171|3922918 said:
Okay, I'll say it: NOT BREASTFEEDING IS OKAY! :wavey:

If you do, or you don't, it's fine. There must be TONS of women that don't breastfeed, because there is a lot of formula sold in this world. Shiploads of it.

I tried breastfeeding my son for the first few days, realized it hurt like $hit and I stopped. He's perfectly fine. Not any more or less sick then any other kid, not more or less attached then any other person. But he is in banking now, so maybe that was the problem? :lol: I joke.

Breastfed my daughter for six weeks, she's fine too. My breasts are numb now, which makes me sad. :(sad But whatever, it's done. Never used a breast pump for anything, ever.

I think in the spirit of acceptance, which is what we have going here, just as long as the baby grows at an healthy rate, it's all good. They all manage to grow up somehow, so not sure what the big fuss is about. :bigsmile:

Don't let your "friends" judge you, because if they do, they are not actually your friends.

Oh wow, we have that in common! Firstborn, a son, horrible problems breastfeeding! I got engorged, he couldn't latch, and I got so sore I was crying along with him! After a week of suffering and no real support (my mom bottle fed plus we moved about 6 weeks before he was born and I knew no one), I quit. That is something I always felt sad about, but when you have a starving baby and no other options, you send someone to buy the formula. Second child, a girl, breastfed easily from the very first moment and I nursed her until she weaned to a cup of milk. Third child was adopted from China at 6 months old, so she came with bottles! :lol:

They all have survived. So while I do think some choices are best ideally, I am the first to say I couldn't do it all! Therefore, I surely do not judge anyone else!
 

LLJsmom

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 24, 2012
Messages
12,633
"baby blues"? puhleeeezzzeee.

Forget the 9 months of gestation. Just start at the birthing process. 24 hours of labor, if you're lucky. Pain, tearing, c-section, "recovery", if you can call it that. Extreme sleep deprivation. Lack of mobility, or continued confinement if you are recovering from major surgery. Eat!! Drink!! Come on body. Produce milk!! Latch dammit!!! Engorgement. More pain. My boobs are going to explode. Oh fun. Infection too. Overweight body now has no baby in it, just flab hanging over the pants. Sitz bath...again...for the 5th time today. Sleep! So your body can produce milk. No wake up and have the baby feed, more often so your body produces more milk. Never mind changing, burping, projectile vommitting all the milk baby so painstakingly fed after more painstakingly latching...

Who needs "hormone imbalance"? Is there any human being who is completely mentally healthy who wouldn't lose her sh!t having to go through this for 9-12 months?? Oh, there IS? Well, it sure as hell wasn't me.
 

Niel

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 23, 2012
Messages
20,044
iLander|1441244798|3922922 said:
Niel|1441238953|3922888 said:
And yes I've seen that I can't even handle it. But M flipped some switch when she came out and now I cry at everything

(General postpartum advice/opinion, not sure when Neil had her baby exactly.)

Of course you do! You've just had 50 billion volts of hormones coursing through your system, did you think that would have no effect? Did you know that a girl baby is born with all her eggs? So you were carrying around all your eggs, and all of hers! That's quite a load!

Even with boy babies, the whole pregnancy and birth thing is a hormone festival! What you feel is perfectly normal. :appl: And new babies are exhausting and grueling hard work. Give yourself permission to realize it's not easy. Anyone that says it is, is lying to you, or has forgotten how hard it was.

When I was pregnant with DD, I had terrible hot flashes and crying. One day I came home from work, got so hot and fussy I just went in the pool fully clothed. DH threw in a chair for me and I just sat and cried and cooled off. It felt so good. At least for a few minutes, lol.

The thing you have to realize about feeling bad is that it won't last forever. It takes time, and each day you'll be a little better. Lots of moms have issues when there babies are new. But you don't see any mothers of sixth graders crying every day, right? :) So realize it's not forever.

Ask the pediatrician or obstetrician about what's bothering you, I think he might have run into it once or twice before ;-) :D I'm sure he/she has some suggestions.

No M is 3 and its not post partum its just a comment about how having kids has turned me into a huge softie who cried at Google commercials (he made his baby girl a gmail account!)
 

momhappy

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 3, 2013
Messages
4,660
I realize that breastfeeding is a sensitive subject, but I just wanted to say that just because one person might feel a certain way about something, doesn't necessarily mean that they are passing judgment on those who feel a different way. In other words, I might feel one way about breastfeeding, but that doesn't mean that I pass judgment on those who feel differently than me. I think that sometimes, women are made to feel this one-against-the-other mentality, when they may not actually have any strong feelings about it one way or the other.. Most women I know are so wrapped up in their own lives, own families, own jobs, etc. to actually care all that much about how someone chooses to give birth, how someone chooses to feed their babies, etc. =)
 

vintagelover229

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,550
Just gave birth again a month ago with my second son. I must say, while I totally get WHY women would choose to have medical interventions for pain-there is a huge amount of risk involved and most women are very ill informed to the possible adverse side affects of these interventions (not just for pain, but also being induced/etc). I am much more fearful of a hospital birth, and not allowing my body to do what it's naturally inclined to do (aside from any reasons hindering it of course) than to allow things to happen that could potentially cause me to have a traumatic birth experience due to possible side affects.

My first son I dilated all by myself to 10, aside from 40 minutes to the clinic, then back again to be checked (only to find out I was 8cm) and while it was painful, never enough so to stick a giant needle in my spine. I had him at floor, in my bedroom-but I did have to push for 3.5 hours and have an episiotomy. which hurt like hell and affected me bonding with my son. It took nearly 2 years before I would even discuss having another child. It was a traumatic experience with 2 of the midwives trying to get me to go to the hospital, while the other one supported my choice to try to finish at home. I hate hospitals and I know they would have tried a vacuum or something else, which I wasn't at the point to try yet. His heart rate was fine and they called the OB at the local hospital and he agreed as long as I was doing okay, and the baby was fine I could do it at home until something changed. I'm forever grateful to her for sticking by me, and allowing me to finish at home. My breasts were engorged, making a difficult latch but I found side nursing the best option for me. He also got drown with milk, causing colic, which was also fun. No family/friends to help-I was a mess after my first born. He was 8lbs 4oz and 21.5 inches long-btw I'm 5'5" and was 107 when I got pregnant, he had his arm by his head which is why it took so long.

Second pregnancy I was so sick I was dry heaving every 20 minutes for months. I did manage to gain weight by eating ice cream and chocolate. The midwife I loved before no longer was with my first practise, so we went 2 hours away to find ones we trusted our care too. Thankfully my midwife was friends with them, and was able to attend my 2nd birth too. That was MUCH smoother, dilated to 7-had them break my water and half an hour later I had a water birth :) I pushed for 16 minutes this go-which still sucked, but I tell you not being drugged out of my mind allowed me to focus and remember everything with both my births. Although I will admit I don't recall much during pushing except saying I understand why people stick needles in their spines and cut their babies out and move all their inners aside instead of pushing it out through their vagina’s, lol.

I totally respect womens rights to choose, as well as am grateful for medicine to do things like c-sections when necessary. I just don't believe that women are well prepared (or supported) in making informed decisions. I'm not saying that every woman is like that, but I think many of them make it based on fear, or the recommendation of their OB without realizing there are more options, possibly better ones, out there for them and their child.

For example: Delayed chord clamping. In some hospitals up here, even with an OB-it is standard care to wait 2 minutes because the medical benefits are SO huge to the baby. 33% more blood volume-less risk of anemia/etc. but it's not the standard care everywhere-despite ample evidence showing the benefits.

Another example: Did you know that when babies pass though the vaginal canal they actually pass though bacteria that jump starts their immune system? So when you have a C-section they miss out on those good bacteria, although there is research about some ways to restore it (haven't read much on it).
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-05/cp-tig050715.php

Did you also know that breaskmilk changes depending on the feeding time adjusting specially to your infants needs?

https://supportingbreastfeeding.wordpress.com/2015/08/31/amazing-milk-made-exclusively-for-babies/


I wouldn't trade my 2 natural births for anything and am grateful they went the way they did. Birth trauma is SO real and causes PTSD and impacts initial bonding with infants too as well as PPD.

I'm certainly glad I wasn't around when they first moved births to hospitals with twilight births
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twilight_sleep

or when a front to back episiotomy was the standard of care either

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/721538_1


I'm not saying things haven't improved, but I'll stick with minimal interventions for my births-recovery was so much better on my 2nd one due to not tearing or anything too.
 

iLander

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
6,731
Vintagelover: Both of my children were born with certified nurse midwives, but in a hospital birthing room. Midwife sisters! High five! :wavey: :wavey:

We had discussed a "lite epidural" (yes, they do exist and they are not a medication error) among other things. I was assured that they would be available to me.

But I guess my issue is that they could given me a demerol. It's one of the few drugs I'm not allergic to and I (years later) had it when my 5 Centimeter ovarian cyst ruptured (let's talk pain, ladies ;-) ). I felt lucid, awake, and went from screaming to pain free in 5 minutes. I would have liked that option during childbirth.

I guess I'm feeling a little "I could have had a V-8!", haha. :)
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
27,198
Breast feeding...oh yeh, I did it. You want to know why (get ready to judge)...I'm lazy!

Didnt want to have to get up and go to the kitchen every time, didnt want to have to pour formula, heat formula, and then wash
bottles afterwards...nope, too lazy for all that!

Breast feeding passes on good stuff to your baby, great, but in reality, I was just too lazy/tired to do anything but breastfeed!

There, I admit it and I'm not sorry! :bigsmile:
 

vintagelover229

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,550
tyty333|1441290605|3923067 said:
Breast feeding...oh yeh, I did it. You want to know why (get ready to judge)...I'm lazy!

Didnt want to have to get up and go to the kitchen every time, didnt want to have to pour formula, heat formula, and then wash
bottles afterwards...nope, too lazy for all that!

Breast feeding passes on good stuff to your baby, great, but in reality, I was just too lazy/tired to do anything but breastfeed!

There, I admit it and I'm not sorry! :bigsmile:


Haha me too!


LLJsmom said:
"baby blues"? puhleeeezzzeee.

Forget the 9 months of gestation. Just start at the birthing process. 24 hours of labor, if you're lucky. Pain, tearing, c-section, "recovery", if you can call it that. Extreme sleep deprivation. Lack of mobility, or continued confinement if you are recovering from major surgery. Eat!! Drink!! Come on body. Produce milk!! Latch dammit!!! Engorgement. More pain. My boobs are going to explode. Oh fun. Infection too. Overweight body now has no baby in it, just flab hanging over the pants. Sitz bath...again...for the 5th time today. Sleep! So your body can produce milk. No wake up and have the baby feed, more often so your body produces more milk. Never mind changing, burping, projectile vommitting all the milk baby so painstakingly fed after more painstakingly latching...

Who needs "hormone imbalance"? Is there any human being who is completely mentally healthy who wouldn't lose her sh!t having to go through this for 9-12 months?? Oh, there IS? Well, it sure as hell wasn't me.


And most men, even my husbands who's amazing-just can't grasp it. It's not easy to be a woman or a mother. But if we didy do it our race would likely go extinct. Unless of course someone figures out a way to do it in a lab-which I actually do fear will happen in the not so distant future.
 

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
11,676
tyty333|1441290605|3923067 said:
Breast feeding...oh yeh, I did it. You want to know why (get ready to judge)...I'm lazy!

Didnt want to have to get up and go to the kitchen every time, didnt want to have to pour formula, heat formula, and then wash
bottles afterwards...nope, too lazy for all that!

Breast feeding passes on good stuff to your baby, great, but in reality, I was just too lazy/tired to do anything but breastfeed!

There, I admit it and I'm not sorry! :bigsmile:

Me too! I nursed four kids, including twins. Everyone told me I wouldn't have enough milk for twins, but I ignored them and stuck with it. Your body can do amazing things! No way was I messing around with powdered formula, bottles, heating, washing, drying, etc. Plus formula is crazy expensive! More money for the bling fund and other fun stuff. ;-)
 

House Cat

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
4,602
Niel|1441237865|3922882 said:
yennyfire|1441232056|3922836 said:
I've had one of each. I unintentionally had a drug free birth with my son, who decided to stay put til they evicted him at almost 42 weeks. They broke my water (after giving me an enema...thank goodness there was no shaving involved! :shock: ) and he arrived in 90 minutes...too fast to get an epidural. They did have to give me local anesthesia so that they could stitch me up afterwards...we can't watch our video because you see me throwing the baby at my DH and screaming in pain....I guess they thought that after a drug free delivery, stitches would be a breeze???? :???:

With DD, I was induced early because I was having back problems and had an epidural immediately before they started Pitocin. I felt nothing til the epidural wore off...then, my damn back hurt so bad, I was begging them for another epi!

There is no "right" or "wrong"...as long as the outcome is a healthy baby and mama, who cares??? Now, my beef is that no one told me how hard breastfeeding could be...I thought I was a total failure as a Mom when DS kept losing weight and the pediatrician told me to either formula feed or start pumping.....the bottom line is that, as women, we need to support one another, not tear each other down!

I know exactly what you mean about breastfeeding.

What I wish I had known better, or really understood, was my post partum. I thought it would result in ME feeling the " baby blues" (what an adorable name some man came up with) but what it really did was give me zero feelings of attachment for my daughter. Now that sure makes you feel like a failure. After my 30+ labor I'm too tired to think straight, they won't let me sleep long enough because this baby needs feeding. This baby I can't get to latch and I have no emotional attachment to.

God those feelings are so hard to explain to someone I think.
People aren't real about those feelings!!

I had my first son at 19. The only person who showed me any support at all was my favorite aunt. She was from out of town, so she came and cleaned my house and stocked my fridge, but everyone else was SO DISAPPOINTED in me for having a child so early. They were really going to stick it to me and let me do this on my own.

So there I was with this huge baby who wanted to eat all of the time and I couldn't even get him to latch on. I knew nothing of lactation consultants. I didn't even know about WIC or anything because I worked for a living. I felt like the biggest failure in the world because I couldn't do the most natural thing in the world, breastfeed my baby. What to Expect When You're Expecting said to just brush the baby's cheek with your nipple and he will latch on!! What was wrong with me??

Oh the tears, from both of us!! I finally figured it out but I gave up at 5 weeks because the whole experience was traumatizing and awful.

I have watched a lot of mothers go through this. Because I was the first mother in the group and my son was already in junior high by the time my friends started having kids, I would always tell them, as they were torturing themselves over the decision to wean... "you will NOT be sitting in his fourth grade parent-teacher conference, thinking 'I should have breastfed longer!' Breastfeeding won't even be on your radar!"
These monumental decisions come and go and we do our best to make the right decisions, but we must always have our eyes on our own mental health. Our children will absolutely have a much less stable outcome if we are too stressed to have a healthy attachment with them. If breastfeeding is keeping you from developing a healthy attachment, stop. If any of the preconceived notions you had before you actually had your child is hindering your attachment, it must be eliminated, period.

Read up on attachment. Not attachment parenting by doctor Sears. I am talking about actual attachment. Everything about a person's outcome hinges upon a healthy attachment to the primary caregiver. If you parent from that stance, everything else will fall into place.
 

April20

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
3,372
I just had a baby at the end of July. I wanted an unmedicated labor, mainly so that I had freedom of movement and could theoretically keep labor progressing without the need for pitocin to speed things along. We took 12 weeks of Bradley birthing classes so that we had the "tools" to achieve this. Long story short, my baby was posterior (sunny side up) and positioned really, really weirdly. I was in labor for 27 hours before they evicted her with forceps. I labored for 14 hours without meds and when the pain got so bad I spent two hours screaming non-stop thru every contraction (they were stacking and lasting 3-4 mins with no break), I demanded the epidural. My husband kept telling me I could do it and that I might be disappointed later if I caved. I yelled "I WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. GET THE DAMN DOCTOR". It brought relief, but kept wearing off (total nightmare). It had to be topped off about every 90 mins. At the end of the day, I was very thankful I had it as there's no way I could have gone the whole way without it and endured the forceps delivery that resulted in A LOT of stitches. A lot. If I have a second baby in the future, I would get the epidural if it is positioned like my daughter was. If that baby is in a "normal" position, I'd give unmedicated another go. I hated some of the additional interventions that epidural required and would love to forgo those. I like the idea of feeling like I'm in "control" if I go unmedicated in the future. But at the end of the day, I want a healthy baby and a safe delivery. If that comes unmedicated, great. If it comes with the use of every intervention known to man and every drug under the sun, fine.
 

Maria D

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 24, 2003
Messages
1,948
April20|1441387505|3923616 said:
I just had a baby at the end of July. I wanted an unmedicated labor, mainly so that I had freedom of movement and could theoretically keep labor progressing without the need for pitocin to speed things along. We took 12 weeks of Bradley birthing classes so that we had the "tools" to achieve this. Long story short, my baby was posterior (sunny side up) and positioned really, really weirdly. I was in labor for 27 hours before they evicted her with forceps. I labored for 14 hours without meds and when the pain got so bad I spent two hours screaming non-stop thru every contraction (they were stacking and lasting 3-4 mins with no break), I demanded the epidural. My husband kept telling me I could do it and that I might be disappointed later if I caved. I yelled "I WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. GET THE DAMN DOCTOR". It brought relief, but kept wearing off (total nightmare). It had to be topped off about every 90 mins. At the end of the day, I was very thankful I had it as there's no way I could have gone the whole way without it and endured the forceps delivery that resulted in A LOT of stitches. A lot. If I have a second baby in the future, I would get the epidural if it is positioned like my daughter was. If that baby is in a "normal" position, I'd give unmedicated another go. I hated some of the additional interventions that epidural required and would love to forgo those. I like the idea of feeling like I'm in "control" if I go unmedicated in the future. But at the end of the day, I want a healthy baby and a safe delivery. If that comes unmedicated, great. If it comes with the use of every intervention known to man and every drug under the sun, fine.

April20,
1. Congratulations!
2. You are a better woman than I am. From a medical standpoint, I had an unremarkable pregnancy and childbirth experience. Labor lasted a long time and it was painful. I asked for and got demerol when I couldn't take it anymore at about hour 20. It took the edge off the pain. Baby was positioned correctly but had her hand on her head so I needed a couple of stitches. AND YET. Unlike you who, with a brand new baby and a horrendous (in my book) experience, are already thinking about what you would/wouldn't do second time around - my only thought at my 6 week postpartum checkup was THIS MUST NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. (It didn't.)
3. Your husband is lucky to be alive.
4. Really, congratulations!!!!
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,041
My epi wore off and it was horrible. I also don't understand why anyone would choose not to have some pain relief. :confused: They are very safe. So yes, I would vote a drug free childbirth is overrated.
 

AGBF

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 26, 2003
Messages
22,143
Maria D|1441842495|3925827 said:
April20|1441387505|3923616 said:
My husband kept telling me I could do it and that I might be disappointed later if I caved. I yelled "I WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. GET THE DAMN DOCTOR".

April20,
1. Congratulations!
2. You are a better woman than I am. From a medical standpoint, I had an unremarkable pregnancy and childbirth experience. Labor lasted a long time and it was painful. I asked for and got demerol when I couldn't take it anymore at about hour 20. It took the edge off the pain. Baby was positioned correctly but had her hand on her head so I needed a couple of stitches. AND YET. Unlike you who, with a brand new baby and a horrendous (in my book) experience, are already thinking about what you would/wouldn't do second time around - my only thought at my 6 week postpartum checkup was THIS MUST NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. (It didn't.)
3. Your husband is lucky to be alive.
4. Really, congratulations!!!!

About your husband, April...why is he? Every woman I know who has been through labor and had a husband in the room at least punched him for something that callous...and often just for impregnating her!

Maria...I never went through childbirth, but something tells me that if I had, I, also, would say: THIS MUST NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

AGBF
 

Niel

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 23, 2012
Messages
20,044
Aan I worked with had a child a few years back and bragged about the fact that his wife begged him for drugs, but because of "their birth plan" he refused her.



God I wanted to smack him and I was just listening to the story.
 

momhappy

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 3, 2013
Messages
4,660
^He refused her? I don't understand how :confused: A woman should request drugs from her doctor - not her husband. If she didn't receive medication, that's her own fault. I would never "ask" (or beg) my husband for something like that.
 

vintagelover229

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,550
vintagelover229|1441835273|3925776 said:
Interesting read for those who have some time-even if you just read the intro.

http://www.amnestyusa.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/deadlydelivery.pdf

Yes, the pain sucked. BUT it was so empowering knowing if I could do that-I could do anything. Since no one seems interested in reading it-here is the first paragraph of the intro, and the stats are scary.


The total amount spent on healthcare in the USA is greater than any other country in the world. Hospitalization related to pregnancy and childbirth costs some US $86 billion a year; the highest hospitalization costs of any area of medicine. Despite this, women in the USA have a greater lifetime risk of dying of pregnancy-related complications than women in 40 other counties. For example, the likelihood of a woman dying in childbirth in the USA is five times greater than in Greece, four time greater than in Germany, and three times greater than in Spain. More than two women die every day in the USA from pregnancy-related causes. Maternal deaths are only the tip of the iceberg. Severe complications that result in a woman nearly dying, known as a 'near miss', increased by 25 per cent between 1998 and 2005. During 2004 and 2005, 68, 433 women nearly died in childbirth in the USA. More than a third of all women who give birth in the USA – 1.7 million women each year-experience some type of complication that has an adverse effect on their health.
 

Niel

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 23, 2012
Messages
20,044
momhappy|1441885819|3926008 said:
^He refused her? I don't understand how :confused: A woman should request drugs from her doctor - not her husband. If she didn't receive medication, that's her own fault. I would never "ask" (or beg) my husband for something like that.

Yeah I have no idea, I do t know if she had given her "authority" to him before it started or what. I know they didn't have their kid in a hospital but a birthing center or whatever.
 

April20

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
3,372
AGBF|1441852507|3925907 said:
Maria D|1441842495|3925827 said:
April20|1441387505|3923616 said:
My husband kept telling me I could do it and that I might be disappointed later if I caved. I yelled "I WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. GET THE DAMN DOCTOR".

April20,
1. Congratulations!
2. You are a better woman than I am. From a medical standpoint, I had an unremarkable pregnancy and childbirth experience. Labor lasted a long time and it was painful. I asked for and got demerol when I couldn't take it anymore at about hour 20. It took the edge off the pain. Baby was positioned correctly but had her hand on her head so I needed a couple of stitches. AND YET. Unlike you who, with a brand new baby and a horrendous (in my book) experience, are already thinking about what you would/wouldn't do second time around - my only thought at my 6 week postpartum checkup was THIS MUST NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. (It didn't.)
3. Your husband is lucky to be alive.
4. Really, congratulations!!!!

About your husband, April...why is he? Every woman I know who has been through labor and had a husband in the room at least punched him for something that callous...and often just for impregnating her!

Maria...I never went through childbirth, but something tells me that if I had, I, also, would say: THIS MUST NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

AGBF

Well, he almost wasn't!! I was adamant for MONTHS prior to deliver that I could do this without drugs. We learned in Bradley class that when you say you can't do it any more (which I was repeating) and that you just want the drugs, that you are most likely in transition and that the worst is almost over. He thought I was in transition. Shoot, I thought I was in transition! It just kept getting worse and not better and that's finally when the doctor came in and checked and I was NOT in transition. That's when he realized he had to shut up and we had to change plans. He's a good guy, he was just hell bent on supporting what I said I wanted all along. Neither one of us expected things to go so sideways. Ah, live and learn. Thank goodness she's cute!
 

Logan Sapphire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2003
Messages
2,405
I have two children, but only birthed one (my older child was adopted).

I had an epidural, which partially worked, as it blocked pain only on one side of my body. I also didn't know that my hospital offered a pain button, so that you could give yourself the meds. I ended up getting stitches without anesthesia or any other pain meds, and I thought the pain (which was the worst pain I've ever experienced) was normal. My husband said it looked like they were stitching me up with a fishing hook and line.

I knew going in that I wanted pain relief; I have a very low pain tolerance. I had hoped to postpone the epidural for as long as I could, but my water breaking, being GBS+, finding meconium, and the baby not moving at all meant I got Pitocin. I lasted till about 3 cm and asked for the epi! Fortunately, I only pushed for 20 minutes and out he flew like a seal pup.
 

ForteKitty

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 7, 2004
Messages
5,239
If I read some these other stories before I got pregnant... I wouldn't have gotten pregnant! Given my experience, I say "natural" birth is overrated. If I had to suffer through the pain, I wouldn't have enjoyed my childbirth so much. I was instructing a nurse how to use the phone to get pictures and video while I was pushing, cheering on my husband as he cut the cord, joking with my doctor as she stitched me up (am I going to look like one of those shrunken heads down there?), hollering at him to get videos of the baby getting cleaned up, and I even made sure all the paperwork was done correctly because he was so overwhelmed he misspelled my name. (who just pushed out a baby??)

My childbirth was a breeze, thanks to modern medicine. I started my maternity leave just a week before my due date because I had an easy pregnancy and felt completely light on my feet, despite looking like a whale. Not kidding, I took a picture of myself the day I went into labor and it looked like I swallowed a giant beach ball. (Attached pictures for a good laugh) Had my 39 week appointment around noon, found out i'm still only 1.5cm dilated, and went shopping. On the way home from shopping all day, we passed by the hospital and joked "maybe we should stop in, heh heh". Got home at 5pm, contractions started. Crap.

I showered, ate, and sat around. By 9pm, they were 4 minutes apart, so we headed to the hospital. They checked me in, and bah! Still only 1.5cm dilated, but pain getting worse. At 4am, I was having trouble breathing from the pain and I definitely couldn't sleep through it... and still not dilating anymore even though i'm having contractions every 2 mins and am fully effaced. I asked my epidural then. The thought of getting an epidural was scary but my anethesiologist was wonderful and talked me through it. Didn't even feel it go in, and contraction pain was gone instantly. I was fully alert and not delirious, thank goodness, and joked with the nurses until they told me to go to sleep because I'm never going to sleep again. HA. So I slept.

My OB came in at 7am and told me I'm still at 1.5cm (WTF) but my contractions slowed down, so she recommended pitocin. During my pregnancy, I was always concerned about not being able to deliver vaginally because I have very narrow hips and my belly was huge. I asked if she thinks I might need a csection, and at that point she said if I didn't start dilating, I might need a CS. So in goes the pitocin, and it worked! 10am, 5cm! Noon, 7cm! This whole time I kept napping, it was wonderful. The head nurse woke me up around 3pm and said I should get ready to deliver around 4pm, and she was spot on. Since my OB was coming from another hospital, the nurse prepped me and had me push. 3 pushes later, she told me to stop because baby was already coming out! My OB was stuck in crappy LA traffic, figures. 15 minutes later, she ran in, scrubbed up, and told me to push. 10 minutes later, the baby popped out. Tore a bit on the way out and i needed a bunch of stitches, but the whole experience was great.

The baby is 8 months old today and let's just say that he is the complete opposite of my pregnancy and delivery. SO stubborn, active, doesn't sleep well, and I'm completely exhausted. Not an easy baby at all. Pregnancy and deliver was so much easier.

belly_pic_39_weeks.jpg
 

JaneSmith

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 11, 2012
Messages
1,589
FK, you look beautiful! Hang in there, sleep deprivation is utterly soul destroying but it does get better.

I was lucky to have a 4-hour labour and delivery. I had planned on an epidural but got to the hospital fully dilated and ready to rock. It hurt, but knowing that the pain wasn't going to be lasting much longer made me get through it. Funnily enough, the part I was most afraid of, the crowning, wasn't as bad as I had feared. It was still excruciating and felt like my lady parts were on fire, but once that initial firey pain started as the first wee bit of head came out, it didn't get worse, it just stayed the same firey pain as more head came out. I was so freaking glad!

I have taken care of almost every horrible and unlikely complication of pregnancy and childbirth, so I knew what I was getting myself into. There was one point in my pregnancy where I thought that by becoming pregnant 'I have done something that may cause my death', but then tucked that thought away as statistically unlikely and continued to enjoy feeling baby move, hoping for the best, and planning for the worst. I am glad that I and many other women have access to modern medicine. I wish that all women did.
 
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top