Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc
I completely agree. Why should someone try to plan someone else's wedding? Sure, OP may have been open-minded enough to want to please others (and I can see why since she said that she wanted an anti-wedding), but other people might not be so receptive and they have their own vision for their big day. I truly find this difficult to understand. I can't imagine how hurt I would be if a family member came to me and said that others in the family have been talking and they've all decided that that my wedding plan stinks You might think that you're giving her a helpful reality check, but she will likely not view it that way, especially based on the response she's already had to the previous conversation. It sounds like you already have a "plan B" (meeting them for the wedding, but skipping the cruise), so if it was me, I'd skip the family drama and start controlling the things that were in my control (my participation in the trip).
I realize that I may not share in the popular opinion here - these are just my thoughts and I hope that the situation works out in one way or another. These types of family dramas can be so tricky to deal with, so I feel bad that you're going thought this OP.
aljdewey|1440629319|3919601 said:minousbijoux|1440613198|3919477 said:It sounds like it may be really hard to stand up to SIL based on her reactions. But someone has to give her a reality check of how things may be if she goes through with it as planned -
I don't mean to be dense on this, but why? Why does someone have to give her a reality check?
That's already been tried by Tuffy's DH, and it was not well received. Why would anyone expect a second attempt to suddenly get through to her? I really don't think it will; what it will more likely do is this:
It will build instant resentment toward the soul who tries to deliver the reality check, *and* I'd bet my whole year's salary that the ripples from that resentment will continue for years after the actual wedding itself. It is not worth it.
She will get a reality check.....when she begins receiving all the declinations from her intended guests. Those guests will not be at family holiday gatherings, birthdays and other milestone events to endure the ripples over the years, so let them be the bad guys.
It's enough for now for Tuffy and DH's family to just say "we so want to be a part of your special day, so we will be attending the wedding. We won't be joining for the cruise, but we'll be sending our best wishes to you and your guests for a fun time."
I completely agree. Why should someone try to plan someone else's wedding? Sure, OP may have been open-minded enough to want to please others (and I can see why since she said that she wanted an anti-wedding), but other people might not be so receptive and they have their own vision for their big day. I truly find this difficult to understand. I can't imagine how hurt I would be if a family member came to me and said that others in the family have been talking and they've all decided that that my wedding plan stinks You might think that you're giving her a helpful reality check, but she will likely not view it that way, especially based on the response she's already had to the previous conversation. It sounds like you already have a "plan B" (meeting them for the wedding, but skipping the cruise), so if it was me, I'd skip the family drama and start controlling the things that were in my control (my participation in the trip).
I realize that I may not share in the popular opinion here - these are just my thoughts and I hope that the situation works out in one way or another. These types of family dramas can be so tricky to deal with, so I feel bad that you're going thought this OP.