Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Much???

[amc80]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I wanted to chime in because we did a cruise/destination wedding. The cruise was out of Florida, and most guests came from the West coast. We had wanted a certain ship during a certain week, but did an alternate itinerary to make it more affordable. We also chose to get married on the beach the morning before the wedding, so people could still choose to go to the wedding but not the cruise. We had three groups who did go to Florida just for the wedding, and then turned it into their own vacation by hitting up Disney and such. Our cruise was a week long, but butted up to Thanksgiving weekend (so people could fly out Friday, since they mostly had that day off anyway). I think the cruise cost per person was in th3 $500-$800 range, depending on the cabin, plus a few hundred more for flights and hotel.

Our entire goal was to make it as affordable and convenient as possible. We wanted people to come, and we wanted them to feel like it was their own vacation, rather than an "it's all about us" thing. People had a great time. Are there some people who didn't show up who I wish would/could have? Of course. But, it's their vacation time and their money, so I didn't get upset or anything. We were incredible grateful to those who made the trip and made sure they knew how much we appreciated it.

As for your situation, unless your SIL is a Kardashian or something, it's ridiculous. Two weeks? Who wants to use that much vacation time? And the cost is completely unreasonable. If we had done that, I'm pretty sure exactly zero people would have shown up. Not our parents, BFFs, nobody. I guess she'll figure it out once the RSVPs aren't rolling in.

 

[azstonie]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Okay, this is what I thought.

1. "Guest." Your SIL doesn't understand what that word means. Same for "host."
2. Now that this little bit of kindergarten semantics is out of the way, she is asking people to come on a vacation with her, of her choice of location (extreme), style of travel (a lot of people don't like cruises, I'm in that camp), duration of travel (this impacts people's work), and schedule of the travel (same for work, childcare, petsitters, housesitters, etc). Pretty narcissistic. If this is how she is going to conduct herself for this event, get ready for her to do the same for family holidays and other decisions that families typically make together or share responsibilities rather than demands.
3. I agree with the poster who said this could be her way of inviting certain people yet ensuring they won't be there. Example: My first marriage, I got married in Juneau, Alaska. I sent out invitations but prior to sending them, I called each person or couple and explained myself regarding the location of the wedding and told them that I understood that it was crazy far and expensive for anyone to attend it, and I definitely expected no one to assume that kind of cost and inconvenience to attend. I wanted them to feel acknowledged in terms of their importance to me, nothing more.

 

[amc80]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

If the airfare and cruise work out to $4800, you should budget a lot more. Not only will you need a hotel room for the arrival and departure nights (don't try to go straight from the airport to the docks or, even worse, from the dock to the airport - things will go wrong), taxi fare to and from the airport, etc, but you need to consider shore tours. You are not going to sit around the ship while it is in Vienna or Nuremberg, are you? Throw in some shopping, a special dinner at a local restaurant and I would guess it would all come in at over $6000, as iLander estimated.

I think this is way too much to ask and I would have no problems telling the HC no.

Don't forget gratuities, which could easily be a few hundred $ on a cruise that length. Alcohol, specialty restaurants on the ship, photos, baggage fees, etc.

 

[Calliecake]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I haven't had a chance to read the responses others have given yet but this sounds absolutely ridiculous to me. Does this woman think the whole world revolves around her? Everyone I have every known that had a destination wedding only expect their guests to be their a couple days and in now way would have been offended if someone only came for the wedding and went home the next day. I'm also wondering if they don't really want people to attend. It sure seems that way to me. This is crazy! I would wish them well and just tell them that there is no way you can be away for that long.

 

[swingirl]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I am guessing this cruise will never happen. Even if it was an all-expenses-paid trip I don't know anyone who would want to spend 10-12 days with a newlywed couple, both sides of their family and a bunch of their friends. Every meal, every excursion, every activity there would be someone from the wedding around to acknowledge. Not my idea of a vacation. I think they'll be having a very intimate wedding and romantic honeymoon by themselves—which is maybe exactly what they want.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I have friends who were going through this same issue; they were wanting to get married overseas but the cost was so high that it caused arguments between friends and family...

and the groomsmen and I wore elaborate pirate outfits instead of suits. The cost for our entire wedding reception and ceremony was about the same cost as 4 guests for this friend's upcoming wedding. Actually, I probably would have got some change in a 4 digit amount from what those 4 guests are going to pay.

Her wedding plans are also causing similar strife… we are all pretty revved up about it! And your wedding sounds like it must have been awesome! Our wedding was similarly budgeted and very casual. It was most important for us for our guests to be relaxed and have fun! We didn't spend a lot, and I didn't put too much time into planning and over think the details. I'm sure that a lot of people say this just to be nice, but so many people have told us that it was the best wedding they've ever been to!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

No real advice. I guess the tough part is that she's your SIL so there may be some sort of obligation there.

Also, "soon to be engaged" and the wedding is already booked? If the wedding is booked, isn't she ALREADY engaged? Like, an engagement is an agreement to get married, and it sounds like they already have that... sheesh, people.

I honestly wouldn't mind going IF it was something we wanted to do… I'm having a very hard time because I LOATHE cruises, and have no desire to make our one yearly vacation a 2 week long cruise that we're going to hate.

I guess they are engaged, as her parter is well-aware of the plans (they have been discussing marriage for years), but she does not have a ring on her hand, so she has not officially announced the engagement (although it seems like her family and friends already know). I think it's kind of weird too, but some brides do begin planning before they actually get their ring, so I'm not going to judge her too much there…

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Goodness gracious great balls of expensiveness!!

My thoughts exactly!!! Hahahaha

 

[iLander]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I haven't had a chance to read the responses others have given yet but this sounds absolutely ridiculous to me. Does this woman think the whole world revolves around her? Everyone I have every known that had a destination wedding only expect their guests to be their a couple days and in now way would have been offended if someone only came for the wedding and went home the next day. I'm also wondering if they don't really want people to attend. It sure seems that way to me. This is crazy! I would wish them well and just tell them that there is no way you can be away for that long.

Okay, this is what I thought.

1. "Guest." Your SIL doesn't understand what that word means. Same for "host."
2. Now that this little bit of kindergarten semantics is out of the way, she is asking people to come on a vacation with her, of her choice of location (extreme), style of travel (a lot of people don't like cruises, I'm in that camp), duration of travel (this impacts people's work), and schedule of the travel (same for work, childcare, petsitters, housesitters, etc). Pretty narcissistic. If this is how she is going to conduct herself for this event, get ready for her to do the same for family holidays and other decisions that families typically make together or share responsibilities rather than demands.
3. I agree with the poster who said this could be her way of inviting certain people yet ensuring they won't be there. Example: My first marriage, I got married in Juneau, Alaska. I sent out invitations but prior to sending them, I called each person or couple and explained myself regarding the location of the wedding and told them that I understood that it was crazy far and expensive for anyone to attend it, and I definitely expected no one to assume that kind of cost and inconvenience to attend. I wanted them to feel acknowledged in terms of their importance to me, nothing more.

You guys made me chuckle, because this is EXACTLY what I was thinking.

ETA: I feel sorry for tuffyluvr . . .

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Um no way. I wouldn't even attend my sister's wedding if she demanded I take 2 weeks off.

I don't see how anyone with kids will attend.

It's hard to get 2 weeks of vacation, and I don't care how comfortable you are financially, that is a lot of money. Will there be showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties etc? This is actually the most presumptuous and absurd wedding I have ever heard of and I watch at lot of TLC.

I sure hope there aren't going to be showers, a bachelorette, etc! I haven't even thought that far yet!!!

 

[SMC]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I might be in the minority here - I would voice my concerns about how impractical this whole thing is, but if my SIL was fixed on the idea - well, I would suck it up, pay, and go. It's an important life event, and she wants her family there. If it were my wedding, and it were my brother, I'm not sure I'd be understanding that he didn't want to go because he didn't want to pay and use his vacation days.

I am making the assumption that you have the resources to go, you just don't want to. I wouldn't necessarily go into debt just to attend a wedding though.

When I was 23, a college buddy got married in Anguila. She invited maybe 25 people. We all went except for one friend who had law school exams, even though it was not our ideal vacation and it was expensive. I think that it's important to be there for life events like weddings.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Regarding the trip coordinator fee, I spoke to her again and she said that the majority of their budget is going to go towards chipping in on people's rooms to mitigate some of the cost… I guess that they are going to pay $400 per person, which then brings the cost down to $2600 for the cruise… still A LOT of money to spend on something you don't want to, IMO, but at least they're not being greedy!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

$4200 is a lot to ask in my opinion.
is the soon to be sister in law - your husband's brother soon to be wife or is it your brother's soon to be wife?

If it were my bother (not that he would do that)...i would say something about their expectations....how may ppl are they expecting to attend? also ask him are they really expecting ppl to provide a gift, too?? That is a lot of coin in anyones language unless you are rolling in it.

If it is your husbands side.. he will need to have that conversation. Or turn down the invitation and have them over to your house for coffee/dinner when they get back and you can give them or not a wedding present.


Maybe this is a way of them telling everyone not to come to their wedding?

the mind boggles.....

It is my husband's sister, so it's not my place to say anything to her. I'm hoping that he is willing to talk to her!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I think a lot of brides start out with these ridiculous ideas, but tend to tone them down when everyone says no thank you.

And if the cost starts out at over $4K, I'll bet it ends up over $6K per person, when all is said and done. At least that's how it tends to work on my vacations, somehow.

And I agree, sounds like a nice honeymoon, not so great for a wedding. Not sure I would want to be trapped on a boat with my in-laws.

I'm hoping that this is how it ultimately turns out… she realizes it's too much to ask and scales things back… and re: cost, I would absolutely not be surprised if this costs well over $6k per person after it's all said and done!

 

[canuk-gal]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

HI:

My guess is she is putting out feelers--testing the waters so to speak. No pun intended. Maybe this is just idea #1 that will eventually unfold into something workable down the road, once the implausibility spending 12 days with family, a float, becomes clear.

Regardless, I am also in the minority--I would make it work. My sister had a destination wedding and it was one of the most fun vacations we've had. It was very well attended by friends--it was at an all inclusive where childcare (day camps) were available. Most stayed for a week. That said, one of my sisters did not attend due to the hardship associated with the cost...and my other sister almost opted out for the same reason.

Interesting dilemma! Good luck!

cheers--Sharon

 

[amc80]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Regarding the trip coordinator fee, I spoke to her again and she said that the majority of their budget is going to go towards chipping in on people's rooms to mitigate some of the cost… I guess that they are going to pay $400 per person, which then brings the cost down to $2600 for the cruise… still A LOT of money to spend on something you don't want to, IMO, but at least they're not being greedy!

So, I'm a travel agent. Most cruise lines work like this- you book 16 berths (generally, that means 8 cabins with 2/cabin) and you get one berth free. Just the cruise fare, though, not the entire fee. The cruise fare is usually much lower than the total cost, because taxes, fees, commission, and port fees really add up. On a $3000 fare, maybe $2000 of that is the cruise fare. So if they manage to book 8 cabins, they would get $2k off towards their fare, or, as you mentioned, they can divide that up over all of the other cabins. Also, if set up as a group cruise, they would get amenity points. Those points can be "spent" however they choose- wine for each cabin, on board credit, or increased tour conductor credit (which would increase the amount they get back). It could easily be where the $400/person they are "giving" everyone cost them exactly zero.

Same deal for hotel rooms- if they booked as a group, a certain number of guests would earn them free rooms.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Our entire goal was to make it as affordable and convenient as possible. We wanted people to come, and we wanted them to feel like it was their own vacation, rather than an "it's all about us" thing. People had a great time. Are there some people who didn't show up who I wish would/could have? Of course. But, it's their vacation time and their money, so I didn't get upset or anything. We were incredible grateful to those who made the trip and made sure they knew how much we appreciated it.

Our wedding experience was somewhat similar… we had a destination wedding (sort of)… we got married 2 hours outside of our hometown, so our guests did have to travel a bit to get out to the venue. However, we made sure that there were plenty of options for accommodations that were convenient and affordable. Our wedding was just outside Joshua Tree National Park, so many people chose to stay at local hotels/motels ($60-$150 per night price range), a few camped ($15), and some even drove back the same night!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Regarding the trip coordinator fee, I spoke to her again and she said that the majority of their budget is going to go towards chipping in on people's rooms to mitigate some of the cost… I guess that they are going to pay $400 per person, which then brings the cost down to $2600 for the cruise… still A LOT of money to spend on something you don't want to, IMO, but at least they're not being greedy!

So, I'm a travel agent. Most cruise lines work like this- you book 16 berths (generally, that means 8 cabins with 2/cabin) and you get one berth free. Just the cruise fare, though, not the entire fee. The cruise fare is usually much lower than the total cost, because taxes, fees, commission, and port fees really add up. On a $3000 fare, maybe $2000 of that is the cruise fare. So if they manage to book 8 cabins, they would get $2k off towards their fare, or, as you mentioned, they can divide that up over all of the other cabins. Also, if set up as a group cruise, they would get amenity points. Those points can be "spent" however they choose- wine for each cabin, on board credit, or increased tour conductor credit (which would increase the amount they get back). It could easily be where the $400/person they are "giving" everyone cost them exactly zero.

Same deal for hotel rooms- if they booked as a group, a certain number of guests would earn them free rooms.

I'd prefer not to think the worst of them, but this very well could be true… I think my SIL is great, but she is a major cheapskate! My husband and I were discussing and we feel that the reason she may have chosen to do this is because it will cost her less than putting on a traditional wedding.

 

[iLander]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I think a lot of brides start out with these ridiculous ideas, but tend to tone them down when everyone says no thank you.

And if the cost starts out at over $4K, I'll bet it ends up over $6K per person, when all is said and done. At least that's how it tends to work on my vacations, somehow.

And I agree, sounds like a nice honeymoon, not so great for a wedding. Not sure I would want to be trapped on a boat with my in-laws.

I'm hoping that this is how it ultimately turns out… she realizes it's too much to ask and scales things back… and re: cost, I would absolutely not be surprised if this costs well over $6k per person after it's all said and done!

Think of all the bling $6K would buy!

If it were me, I'd decline, and then talk to DH about spending at least half the "money we saved".

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I might be in the minority here - I would voice my concerns about how impractical this whole thing is, but if my SIL was fixed on the idea - well, I would suck it up, pay, and go. It's an important life event, and she wants her family there. If it were my wedding, and it were my brother, I'm not sure I'd be understanding that he didn't want to go because he didn't want to pay and use his vacation days.

I am making the assumption that you have the resources to go, you just don't want to. I wouldn't necessarily go into debt just to attend a wedding though.

When I was 23, a college buddy got married in Anguila. She invited maybe 25 people. We all went except for one friend who had law school exams, even though it was not our ideal vacation and it was expensive. I think that it's important to be there for life events like weddings.

Yes, we *can* afford to go… it just hurts to spend all that money and take all that time away from work on a vacation that we DO NOT want to go on. We will go no matter what: she is my husband's sister, and we want to be there for her… But OUCH! 2 weeks and $10k!?!?

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I think a lot of brides start out with these ridiculous ideas, but tend to tone them down when everyone says no thank you.

And if the cost starts out at over $4K, I'll bet it ends up over $6K per person, when all is said and done. At least that's how it tends to work on my vacations, somehow.

And I agree, sounds like a nice honeymoon, not so great for a wedding. Not sure I would want to be trapped on a boat with my in-laws.

I'm hoping that this is how it ultimately turns out… she realizes it's too much to ask and scales things back… and re: cost, I would absolutely not be surprised if this costs well over $6k per person after it's all said and done!

Think of all the bling $6K would buy!

If it were me, I'd decline, and then talk to DH about spending at least half the "money we saved".

I KNOWWWW!!! I still have unset rose cut diamonds that need a home! Single Stone quoted approx $3000 on metalwork. This would set my right hand ring and then some!

Our 1 year anniversary is coming up… my husband said that he was going to have the ring set for our anniversary, however, this year became a true 'paper' anniversary when we got invited to 2 weddings in Europe this summer. They were within a week of each other, so we went to both and added some extra time and destinations and turned it into a 3 week european vacation, which was a dream! However it was a 'paper' anniversary because we spent so much money! You see, we have no problem whatsoever spending money on travel. We LOVE to travel, but we DESPISE cruise ships. The idea of being locked down on the boat with 6,000 other travelers and having to plan all of our tours around 8-5:30 when the ship is at port, eating all of our meal on the ship, etc is not how we like to travel!!!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

HI:

My guess is she is putting out feelers--testing the waters so to speak. No pun intended. Maybe this is just idea #1 that will eventually unfold into something workable down the road, once the implausibility spending 12 days with family, a float, becomes clear.

Regardless, I am also in the minority--I would make it work. My sister had a destination wedding and it was one of the most fun vacations we've had. It was very well attended by friends--it was at an all inclusive where childcare (day camps) were available. Most stayed for a week. That said, one of my sisters did not attend due to the hardship associated with the cost...and my other sister almost opted out for the same reason.

Interesting dilemma! Good luck!

cheers--Sharon

I certainly hope that she comes to this conclusion! And we absolutely will make it work. We have 9 months to save for it, so it won't be a problem financially. She is my husband's only sister… We have to be there for her wedding, however I hope that she chooses an alternative. We would be happy to travel to Europe for her, but 12 days stuck on a ship with the other guests and family is just TOO MUCH to handle.

 

[tyty333]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I cant even thing of anybody I would want to spend 12 days with except my DH and kids (and sometimes not even them ).

It's beyond ridiculous in my book. I would be marking the unable to attend box and would probably consider myself lucky because
with idea's like this there is no telling what else they would come up with during the 12 days.

 

[canuk-gal]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

HI:

My guess is she is putting out feelers--testing the waters so to speak. No pun intended. Maybe this is just idea #1 that will eventually unfold into something workable down the road, once the implausibility spending 12 days with family, a float, becomes clear.

Regardless, I am also in the minority--I would make it work. My sister had a destination wedding and it was one of the most fun vacations we've had. It was very well attended by friends--it was at an all inclusive where childcare (day camps) were available. Most stayed for a week. That said, one of my sisters did not attend due to the hardship associated with the cost...and my other sister almost opted out for the same reason.

Interesting dilemma! Good luck!

cheers--Sharon

I certainly hope that she comes to this conclusion! And we absolutely will make it work. We have 9 months to save for it, so it won't be a problem financially. She is my husband's only sister… We have to be there for her wedding, however I hope that she chooses an alternative. We would be happy to travel to Europe for her, but 12 days stuck on a ship with the other guests and family is just TOO MUCH to handle.

For sure! I am not a crusier, but I could handle one of those gorgeous itineraries in Europe for a short time.

cheers--Sharon

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

Thanks so much for all the replies! I really appreciate everyone's input, even if I was not able to personally reply to everyone. I really is helping me to get a handle on this and strategize how how we are going to approach this. I truly do want to be there for my SIL, and I want her to have a wonderful, intimate wedding with her closest friends and family present, I just hope that she realizes that asking everyone to be stuck together on a ship for two weeks, paying for an expensive vacation that they don't necessarily want to go on is too much to ask.

We will be there regardless, I would just like to have the option of spending at least a portion of the vacation as I choose. We went to 2 weddings in Europe this summer, and it was wonderful. We spent 4-5 days in each of the wedding locations and then we spent an additional 10 days doing what we wanted. It was a wonderful balance, and we were able to spend plenty of time with the brides and grooms and the other guests without feeling like we were trapped and dedicating our entire vacation to weddings. Although it was expensive, we didn't mind spending the money since we were doing things that we wanted to!

 

[amc80]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

HI:

My guess is she is putting out feelers--testing the waters so to speak. No pun intended. Maybe this is just idea #1 that will eventually unfold into something workable down the road, once the implausibility spending 12 days with family, a float, becomes clear.

Regardless, I am also in the minority--I would make it work. My sister had a destination wedding and it was one of the most fun vacations we've had. It was very well attended by friends--it was at an all inclusive where childcare (day camps) were available. Most stayed for a week. That said, one of my sisters did not attend due to the hardship associated with the cost...and my other sister almost opted out for the same reason.

Interesting dilemma! Good luck!

cheers--Sharon

I certainly hope that she comes to this conclusion! And we absolutely will make it work. We have 9 months to save for it, so it won't be a problem financially. She is my husband's only sister… We have to be there for her wedding, however I hope that she chooses an alternative. We would be happy to travel to Europe for her, but 12 days stuck on a ship with the other guests and family is just TOO MUCH to handle.

Would you mind sharing the line and ship? If you don't want to, that's fine.

Let me just say that you will only have to see your family as much as you want to. On our cruise, we had three adjacent dining tables, so we all met up at dinner (most nights- some people still did specialty restaurants or the buffet). We told people in advance which excursions we were doing, and invited them to come along. But, we made it very clear that this was their vacation, and we didn't expect them to spend any more time with the group than they wanted. And ships today are HUGE. Had we not set times to meet people, we would have never seen them. Cruise ships have so much to offer these days.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

I cant even thing of anybody I would want to spend 12 days with except my DH and kids (and sometimes not even them ).

It's beyond ridiculous in my book. I would be marking the unable to attend box and would probably consider myself lucky because
with idea's like this there is no telling what else they would come up with during the 12 days.

I have a feeling that after 12 days, everyone is going to be pretty annoyed with each other. SIL doesn't know this, but she brought her mom (my MIL) on a Caribbean cruise with her BF and his parents a couple years ago, and upon her return, MIL confided in us that she felt really uncomfortable being trapped on a ship with her future in-laws and she did not enjoy herself. We never told SIL to spare her feelings, but I think DH may need to have this conversation with her!!!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

HI:

My guess is she is putting out feelers--testing the waters so to speak. No pun intended. Maybe this is just idea #1 that will eventually unfold into something workable down the road, once the implausibility spending 12 days with family, a float, becomes clear.

Regardless, I am also in the minority--I would make it work. My sister had a destination wedding and it was one of the most fun vacations we've had. It was very well attended by friends--it was at an all inclusive where childcare (day camps) were available. Most stayed for a week. That said, one of my sisters did not attend due to the hardship associated with the cost...and my other sister almost opted out for the same reason.

Interesting dilemma! Good luck!

cheers--Sharon

I certainly hope that she comes to this conclusion! And we absolutely will make it work. We have 9 months to save for it, so it won't be a problem financially. She is my husband's only sister… We have to be there for her wedding, however I hope that she chooses an alternative. We would be happy to travel to Europe for her, but 12 days stuck on a ship with the other guests and family is just TOO MUCH to handle.

Would you mind sharing the line and ship? If you don't want to, that's fine.

Let me just say that you will only have to see your family as much as you want to. On our cruise, we had three adjacent dining tables, so we all met up at dinner (most nights- some people still did specialty restaurants or the buffet). We told people in advance which excursions we were doing, and invited them to come along. But, we made it very clear that this was their vacation, and we didn't expect them to spend any more time with the group than they wanted. And ships today are HUGE. Had we not set times to meet people, we would have never seen them. Cruise ships have so much to offer these days.

Sure! It's a Celebrity cruise and the ship is the Silhoutte. It's their 12 day British Isles itinerary. I honestly would not have a problem going on a 5 day or even a week long cruise, even though it's not my vacation of choice, but I feel like we are all going to be so over each other after 12 days!

 

[amc80]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

That's a big ship! But, I get it. Are they getting married on the ship? Before the cruise? I will say that cruise weddings are very expensive for what you get, and you have very little control over where and when the ceremony happens. That's why we got married before the cruise. If she is going that route, could you guys fly over for the wedding and then do your own trip?

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: Sister-in-law's Destination Wedding: How Much Is Too Muc

That's a big ship! But, I get it. Are they getting married on the ship? Before the cruise? I will say that cruise weddings are very expensive for what you get, and you have very little control over where and when the ceremony happens. That's why we got married before the cruise. If she is going that route, could you guys fly over for the wedding and then do your own trip?

HUGE! That's part of the reason we don't want to go… They're not getting married on the ship. They want to find a venue at one of the ports and have a small ceremony followed by canapés and cocktails, then return to the ship for dinner. Honestly, it sounds really chintzy to me, like they are trying to avoid paying for a "real" wedding. She doesn't even want to serve lunch?!? I suppose we could meet them at port for the wedding ceremony, but that would mean only spending a few hours with her and the rest of the family.