Do You Miss Childhood Friends?

[Jambalaya]

I'm the sentimental type and I like being in touch with people from each life stage. I love writing Christmas cards! Most of us from High school are connected through Facebook, even if we haven't seen each other for many years and live far apart. Although my good friends today are ones relevant to my life now, it's just kind of nice to know that the old ones are still kickin', and to see photo of their kids, etc.

But there are two who just vanished after high school. We know they are OK having seen their profiles on LinkedIn, but these two just aren't the type to keep in touch. They were a lot of fun at school and it's a pity. We, as a group, miss the two missing members.

I'm a sentimental old fool, really. I just like being connected to parts of my past, even if my best friends today are the ones I made in adulthood. But we had so much fun with the friends we made in our youth...as kids, playing outside like you could back then, and then being 15 and putting on makeup, going to our first parties, etc.

To me, they are a valuable part of the past, and it's nice to be in touch, even tenuously. I think about the ones who have dropped off the radar and wish we could be in touch, but I guess it's not important to everyone. For me, I like to feel connected to the past. It gives me a sense of continuity. I sometimes think about the ones who aren't in touch with us, and wonder how they are. Sometimes I think it would be so nice to meet up and share memories of chemistry class and the school play where Zeus (Andrew K.) fell off his cloud, etc etc.

Do you ever think about your childhood friends and classmates? Oddly enough, I can't say I ever wonder about the teachers, although I was fond of some of them.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Funny you should post this...I have reconnected with a lot of my childhood friends on Facebook over the years, and just met up with a middle school friend that I haven't see in 17 years last night! She is here in California with her kids for their summer vacation, and I met up with them in downtown Disney, to catch up and reminisce.

I have had the pleasure of meeting up with a lot of childhood friends over the last couple of years due to work travel. I grew up all around the world, and my friends are spread out all cross the globe as well. I always make a point to meet up if time allows.

 

[Jambalaya]

Aw, that's nice, Jaysonsmom! I do think that a bit of reminiscing is good for the soul. I love that rhyme, "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver but the other's gold." No matter how good our current friends are, only the old ones can provide the reminiscing!

Good for you for keeping up with old acquaintances. I've found that sometimes, when seeing old friends, they'll come out with some startling insight about you that only someone who knew you way back when would come out with!

Obviously there are limits when it comes to old friends - the very good friends of today are probably the ones you have most in common with in the here-and-now - but I do like to keep in touch with people from yesterday on some level, even if it's not very close. And I miss the few who don't seem to have any urge to keep in touch with anyone. There was one girl - oh, she was so, so funny and outgoing. But she never wanted to keep in touch with people from school, and I do miss her and wish I could just see FB updates or something (but she doesn't do FB.)

And I didn't think it at the time, but schooldays are precious and I have fond memories of school - in retrospect, at least, ha!

 

[momhappy]

I wouldn't say that I miss childhood friends all that much. I'm not sentimental that way and I guess I just figure that some friends are simply a part of a life stage and not necessarily meant as long-term/life-long friends. People change over the years and so do friendships. I still know one of my very best friends from middle school & high school, but we are such different people now with different lifestyles. The friendship just wouldn't makes sense any more, which is why neither of us has a desire to put in any effort. I'm okay with letting go, moving on, etc.

 

[Jambalaya]

Oh, yeah - like I said, my good friends are ones that are relevant to my life today. I just wonder about the ones I had fun with at school and who went off the grid since. We had fun when we were young and it would be great to see what they're up to, know if they have kids, etc.

As a carer I'm surrounded with a lot of circle-of-life moments, and also I'm researching the family history which is bringing up memories. I'm just having a sentimental afternoon over here.

 

[missy]

I can be sentimental but for the most part no I don't miss childhood friends. Anyone I wanted to stay in touch with I have remained in touch with and honestly I don't remember much about the others. It was a long time ago LOL.

The only person I sort of miss is a friend from the early 1990's who I was very close with and we had a falling out broke up (yes the only girlfriend I officially broke up with LOL) got back together and 6 months later broke up again for good in 1999.

I still feel sad about that loss because we were so close and such good friends and had so much in common on so many levels. The truth was she was very very possessive and got so jealous of my other friends and time spent with them etc. She didn't have a clear perspective on things as she was very needy at that time. She made unrealistic demands of my time and energy above and beyond what I could ever give her and it just became one huge dysfunctional relationship.

Fast forward to 10 years ago and she got married and I think that probably satiated her need for constant companionship and she is most likely a more well balanced individual now. So of course I wonder could we pick up the friendship again? My friends who knew us both back when we were the best of friends caution me as it was an unhealthy relationship and feel it is better to leave things be as it was a pretty miserable time for me that least year or 2 of our friendship. But the sentimental person in me thinks about it from time to time. We were really good friends and I miss that. And I think she probably does too as one of my closest friends (he has been one of my closest friends since 1985) sees her now and then and said she asked about me a few times and he could tell that she misses me.

Sometimes though it is best to let things be and I remind myself we were friends for less time than we have not been friends at this point. No need to stir things up again as the times we were fighting were miserable indeed.

 

[Imdanny]

I just had the worst experience with an old friend, so I'm burned out on the subject, unfortunately.

My best friend since we were both 3 (!) called me up a few years ago. He wanted to come stay with me, visit me, and try to connect with an ex-girlfriend who had moved to the same small town in Hawaii where I was living. My friends told me he wanted a free place to stay. I couldn't believe it. I said no anyway because my aunt had just died and I didn't want to have him visit.

We had been in touch at least every couple years basically my whole life.

Well, my mother was in the hospital dying of cancer and his parents came to see her. I know this for a fact.

He never called me after my mother died three weeks later and never offered his condolences. All he had to do was press a button on his speed dial.

I will never forgive him. He called when he wanted a free place to stay but he couldn't call when my mother died? I'm agast at this person I thought I knew. I will never speak to him again.

So, I don't believe in life long friendship and I'm not curious about any of my friends from the past.

 

[missy]

I'm so sorry Danny. About the loss of your dear mother and about the lousy way your so called good friend behaved. (((Hugs))) to you.

 

[House Cat]

I have known my very best friend since I was nine years old. Our relationship is SO easy! We have been through everything together. This is a very cherished connection that I am lucky to have.

I've known my other two best friends since I was 17.

I dumped a childhood friend who was like a sister because she was a manipulative liar. This happened many years ago. It was a really painful experience for me and I never really got over it. We reconnected just recently and it was just weird. She had done a lot of therapy and drug rehab, but I just can't trust her. So, no, I don't really miss her.

The other friends in my childhood aren't missed. I am not connected to them for one reason or another. I have outgrown them and moved on to more meaningful relationships. I haven't even gone so far as to add all of my old high school friends to my facebook account. My profile is on the highest privacy settings. My philosophy with the past high school friends is this... if I don't know you currently, then I don't want to know you.

Although these past friends aren't missed, I think of them fondly.

 

[Jambalaya]

I can be sentimental but for the most part no I don't miss childhood friends. Anyone I wanted to stay in touch with I have remained in touch with and honestly I don't remember much about the others. It was a long time ago LOL.

The only person I sort of miss is a friend from the early 1990's who I was very close with and we had a falling out broke up (yes the only girlfriend I officially broke up with LOL) got back together and 6 months later broke up again for good in 1999.

I still feel sad about that loss because we were so close and such good friends and had so much in common on so many levels. The truth was she was very very possessive and got so jealous of my other friends and time spent with them etc. She didn't have a clear perspective on things as she was very needy at that time. She made unrealistic demands of my time and energy above and beyond what I could ever give her and it just became one huge dysfunctional relationship.

Fast forward to 10 years ago and she got married and I think that probably satiated her need for constant companionship and she is most likely a more well balanced individual now. So of course I wonder could we pick up the friendship again? My friends who knew us both back when we were the best of friends caution me as it was an unhealthy relationship and feel it is better to leave things be as it was a pretty miserable time for me that least year or 2 of our friendship. But the sentimental person in me thinks about it from time to time. We were really good friends and I miss that. And I think she probably does too as one of my closest friends (he has been one of my closest friends since 1985) sees her now and then and said she asked about me a few times and he could tell that she misses me.

Sometimes though it is best to let things be and I remind myself we were friends for less time than we have not been friends at this point. No need to stir things up again as the times we were fighting were miserable indeed.

It sounds as if the relationship was miserable more often than not, Missy. But it's hard because I guess you still miss the good times you had. I do miss some friends from age approx 16-25, the ones I had so much fun with, but then our lives went in drastically different directions and it's hard to have as much fun when you're on different pages. And, you know, if needing constant companionship is part of her personality, then she probably hasn't changed, just transferred onto her husband - who may not always be around! I know a couple of people like that and it's very claustrophobic. Possibly all it would take is some marital problems and then she might be the same as she was before - and then you'd be in the same boat as previously! But if you miss her, perhaps you could get together for coffee? Would she accept a friendship based on a coffee once every few weeks or months, or is she all-or-nothing?

I value the times I had with people when I was young. Being young together was a wonderful thing. I have photos of us all young and happy together, at pools or riding horses or at parties. There are people I'd like to be in touch with for that reason, but I'm not, due to some personality flaw that makes things awkward, like your friend's neediness above. Sometimes we just can't be in touch with some people, and it's a pity, but you do have to practice some self-protection. Sometimes I'll get the urge to contact someone on Facebook, feeling nostalgic about the good times, and then I remember that in addition to being great company they were also a little bitchy, or couldn't keep a secret, or whatever, and I decide not to go there.

 

[Jambalaya]

I just had the worst experience with an old friend, so I'm burned out on the subject, unfortunately.

My best friend since we were both 3 (!) called me up a few years ago. He wanted to come stay with me, visit me, and try to connect with an ex-girlfriend who had moved to the same small town in Hawaii where I was living. My friends told me he wanted a free place to stay. I couldn't believe it. I said no anyway because my aunt had just died and I didn't want to have him visit.

We had been in touch at least every couple years basically my whole life.

Well, my mother was in the hospital dying of cancer and his parents came to see her. I know this for a fact.

He never called me after my mother died three weeks later and never offered his condolences. All he had to do was press a button on his speed dial.

I will never forgive him. He called when he wanted a free place to stay but he couldn't call when my mother died? I'm agast at this person I thought I knew. I will never speak to him again.

So, I don't believe in life long friendship and I'm not curious about any of my friends from the past.

Danny, that is just awful. I am so sorry. I knew your mother had died in May last year. How are you doing now?

If it's any help, I've lost a few people in the last few years and some people were really awful about it. I had one old friend who never called me again after my sister died, and a few others who wouldn't tolerate me talking about anyone who had died for a second. I no longer speak to those people. Grief is a huge strain on relationships - well, it doesn't have to be, but I really think that some people cannot cope with the idea of death whatsoever and they don't want it anywhere near them. Which is hilarious, because....you know. No one escapes bereavement, unless you die young yourself.

It is very hard to trust people after they have rubbed salt into the worst wounds imaginable. But you know, not everyone is like that - truly. If I was honest, the people who were really bad during my bereavements....there were clues that they weren't up to the job of being very kind to anyone. And the bereavements showed me who people really were and paved the way for better friendships. It's such a shock when it's someone you've known a long time who turns around and treats you like that, but I promise you that not everyone is like that. It is true what they say: Death rewrites your address book.

 

[Jambalaya]

I have known my very best friend since I was nine years old. Our relationship is SO easy! We have been through everything together. This is a very cherished connection that I am lucky to have.

I've known my other two best friends since I was 17.

I dumped a childhood friend who was like a sister because she was a manipulative liar. This happened many years ago. It was a really painful experience for me and I never really got over it. We reconnected just recently and it was just weird. She had done a lot of therapy and drug rehab, but I just can't trust her. So, no, I don't really miss her.

The other friends in my childhood aren't missed. I am not connected to them for one reason or another. I have outgrown them and moved on to more meaningful relationships. I haven't even gone so far as to add all of my old high school friends to my facebook account. My profile is on the highest privacy settings. My philosophy with the past high school friends is this... if I don't know you currently, then I don't want to know you.

Although these past friends aren't missed, I think of them fondly.

Cherish that good friend, House Cat. You are lucky indeed. I had one friend from kindergarten and we were very close for forty years, but the sheer strain of middle age split us up - illness, bereavement, depression. It wasn't really my choice, but I had to accept it, and then life moved on. I wish we could be in touch for old times' sake, but - well, there you are. I have many photos of her and a beautiful amethyst and silver necklace that she gave me for my thirtieth birthday that I'll always keep. Nurture that friendship like it's your prize garden!

I also think of old friends fondly, including those I'm not in touch with. There was this one girl who was SO vivacious and so much fun. I was wondering whether to contact her but then I remembered that she had also been kind of mean at times, and I was too young to realize that perhaps she was not so nice underneath. I have thought of her fondly all these years - but I decided that one is best left in the past!

ETA: Just wanted to say about trust - it is really hard to be friends with someone again once the trust has been broken in a major way. I definitely hear you on that. The friendship that you said was like a sister - wow, it must have been really hard to give that up. I'm so sorry that she turned out not to be who you thought she was. I've had that, too - where you have this wonderful friendship and then have to face the fact that she's not so great in some ways after all. It can be very painful to face the truth. I'm sorry to hear that you never got over it. If it's any help, I think the world must be full of people thinking wistfully of friendships that were very close, but had to end for one reason or another!

 

[CJ2008]

No, but I'm not sentimental like that...

There is one friend from my past I shared many nights out and times with...she does have a special place in my heart...but we've grown apart, and I don't really have any interest in reconnecting...

 

[House Cat]

I have known my very best friend since I was nine years old. Our relationship is SO easy! We have been through everything together. This is a very cherished connection that I am lucky to have.

I've known my other two best friends since I was 17.

I dumped a childhood friend who was like a sister because she was a manipulative liar. This happened many years ago. It was a really painful experience for me and I never really got over it. We reconnected just recently and it was just weird. She had done a lot of therapy and drug rehab, but I just can't trust her. So, no, I don't really miss her.

The other friends in my childhood aren't missed. I am not connected to them for one reason or another. I have outgrown them and moved on to more meaningful relationships. I haven't even gone so far as to add all of my old high school friends to my facebook account. My profile is on the highest privacy settings. My philosophy with the past high school friends is this... if I don't know you currently, then I don't want to know you.

Although these past friends aren't missed, I think of them fondly.

Cherish that good friend, House Cat. You are lucky indeed. I had one friend from kindergarten and we were very close for forty years, but the sheer strain of middle age split us up - illness, bereavement, depression. It wasn't really my choice, but I had to accept it, and then life moved on. I wish we could be in touch for old times' sake, but - well, there you are. I have many photos of her and a beautiful amethyst and silver necklace that she gave me for my thirtieth birthday that I'll always keep. Nurture that friendship like it's your prize garden!

I also think of old friends fondly, including those I'm not in touch with. There was this one girl who was SO vivacious and so much fun. I was wondering whether to contact her but then I remembered that she had also been kind of mean at times, and I was too young to realize that perhaps she was not so nice underneath. I have thought of her fondly all these years - but I decided that one is best left in the past!

ETA: Just wanted to say about trust - it is really hard to be friends with someone again once the trust has been broken in a major way. I definitely hear you on that. The friendship that you said was like a sister - wow, it must have been really hard to give that up. I'm so sorry that she turned out not to be who you thought she was. I've had that, too - where you have this wonderful friendship and then have to face the fact that she's not so great in some ways after all. It can be very painful to face the truth. I'm sorry to hear that you never got over it. If it's any help, I think the world must be full of people thinking wistfully of friendships that were very close, but had to end for one reason or another!

About that friend I dumped. In my heart, I always knew she was deceitful. I knew if I left her alone with any of my boyfriends, most likely she would try to make a move on them. I knew she had very deep issues. Our relationship was one of codependency, enabling, bad behavior, and addiction. She felt like home to me because the relationship was unsafe in the exact ways that my mother was unsafe to me.

And that's the thing about many of my childhood relationships, they were chosen at a time when I was still picking people on faulty instincts. A lot of those people were controlling, abusive, and unhealthy even at very young ages. Now that I know better, I pick better people.

I do cherish the people in my life Jambalaya. It is truly amazing to me that I have these beautiful people in my life. I am not sure what I did to deserve them, but I am truly grateful.

 

[packrat]

I am *hugely* sentimental. I've been taking pictures of the XM station screen when songs from "back in the day" play b/c I'm instantly transported back. I have two "best friends" from two different time periods in my life, and we'll always be friends even tho we've not seen each other for 11 years. One of them I've known since I was born-my gramma used to babysit her, so we share a lifetime together w/out actually "being" together all that time. (her mom and my dad went on a couple dates when they were younger so we used to giggle about that) The other friend, we were only in school together for 5 years but she had a huge impact in and on my life. She actually just posted a video for a song from our freshman year and tagged me, and she'd messaged me a while back to tell me she was watching a movie on Netflix and the 80's hair band music made her all weepy and nostalgic for "the days".

Luckily, one of my childhood friends is my brother, who is even more sentimental than myself. We lived out in the country, so we only had each other-we have a bond like non other.

 

[distracts]

I am at least sporadically in touch with most people whom I would miss. It's really fun when people who moved away for a while (or even a long time) move back to where I live and we become real friends again. I have found that most people I used to be friends with, I am still friends with when we reconnect - we may be different now than then, but we're different in compatible ways. And when I miss someone and I'm not in touch with them, I usually eventually figure out a way to get in touch and say hi and catch up. I know some people think it is awkward, but I would rather the moment of awkwardness than to just always wonder and miss them!

I am also very sentimental. I wonder if that's the difference between those of us who have friends from all stages in our life and those who don't? A lot of my friends remark on how unusual it is that I still regularly see people I've known since preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and hobbies/working life. Apparently a lot of people don't? Or perhaps I am just lucky in that a huge bunch of my friends evolved and grew in ways very similar to how I did.

(On the teacher front - I am still in contact with almost all of my favorite teachers!)

 

[missy]

I can be sentimental but for the most part no I don't miss childhood friends. Anyone I wanted to stay in touch with I have remained in touch with and honestly I don't remember much about the others. It was a long time ago LOL.

The only person I sort of miss is a friend from the early 1990's who I was very close with and we had a falling out broke up (yes the only girlfriend I officially broke up with LOL) got back together and 6 months later broke up again for good in 1999.

I still feel sad about that loss because we were so close and such good friends and had so much in common on so many levels. The truth was she was very very possessive and got so jealous of my other friends and time spent with them etc. She didn't have a clear perspective on things as she was very needy at that time. She made unrealistic demands of my time and energy above and beyond what I could ever give her and it just became one huge dysfunctional relationship.

Fast forward to 10 years ago and she got married and I think that probably satiated her need for constant companionship and she is most likely a more well balanced individual now. So of course I wonder could we pick up the friendship again? My friends who knew us both back when we were the best of friends caution me as it was an unhealthy relationship and feel it is better to leave things be as it was a pretty miserable time for me that least year or 2 of our friendship. But the sentimental person in me thinks about it from time to time. We were really good friends and I miss that. And I think she probably does too as one of my closest friends (he has been one of my closest friends since 1985) sees her now and then and said she asked about me a few times and he could tell that she misses me.

Sometimes though it is best to let things be and I remind myself we were friends for less time than we have not been friends at this point. No need to stir things up again as the times we were fighting were miserable indeed.

It sounds as if the relationship was miserable more often than not, Missy. But it's hard because I guess you still miss the good times you had. I do miss some friends from age approx 16-25, the ones I had so much fun with, but then our lives went in drastically different directions and it's hard to have as much fun when you're on different pages. And, you know, if needing constant companionship is part of her personality, then she probably hasn't changed, just transferred onto her husband - who may not always be around! I know a couple of people like that and it's very claustrophobic. Possibly all it would take is some marital problems and then she might be the same as she was before - and then you'd be in the same boat as previously! But if you miss her, perhaps you could get together for coffee? Would she accept a friendship based on a coffee once every few weeks or months, or is she all-or-nothing?

I value the times I had with people when I was young. Being young together was a wonderful thing. I have photos of us all young and happy together, at pools or riding horses or at parties. There are people I'd like to be in touch with for that reason, but I'm not, due to some personality flaw that makes things awkward, like your friend's neediness above. Sometimes we just can't be in touch with some people, and it's a pity, but you do have to practice some self-protection. Sometimes I'll get the urge to contact someone on Facebook, feeling nostalgic about the good times, and then I remember that in addition to being great company they were also a little bitchy, or couldn't keep a secret, or whatever, and I decide not to go there.

Jambalaya, to answer your question she has always been an all or nothing person so most likely she is still that way but I cannot know for sure since I have not had contact with her since 1999.

Yes, sometimes it is just best to let things be and reconnecting with my old friend will only bring fleeting joy in this case I think. She had trouble being happy for others and I doubt that personality flaw can change very much. Though I hope now that she has a life partner who is hopefully her soulmate and the love of her life she is a happier person overall and therefore more open to being happy for others as well. I miss her but only the good qualities. I do not miss her negative and toxic traits which were not minor.

I wish her all the best always though and still think fondly of our happy times together.


Packrat, you are very lucky to have such an amazing friend (and close bond with) in your brother.

 

[jordyonbass]

If you read my thread recently on my high school reunion then you know my answer is a firm no, life started at 18!

 

[missy]

If you read my thread recently on my high school reunion then you know my answer is a firm no, life started at 18!

Haha I guess it depends on one's definition of childhood then LOL. To someone my age 18 is still a child. In a good way though, in a good way!

 

[jordyonbass]

If you read my thread recently on my high school reunion then you know my answer is a firm no, life started at 18!

Haha I guess it depends on one's definition of childhood then LOL. To someone my age 18 is still a child. In a good way though, in a good way!

hahaha!! I'm 27 now, so probably still a child to some!! I've got one childhood friend, my best mate who I've known since 16 years old. We've followed each other around Australia for the last 10 years but other than that all my friends I made from 18 onwards.

Before that I was preoccupied with fishing, writing and listening to heavy metal and beating off the bullies. Actually not much has changed other than the bullying stuff

 

[arkieb1]

A large number of them are now my F/B friends so we all get to see each others families and the good and bad that comes with life via that. There are 3 that I can think of that are not on there that I would love to catch up with, a girl who I was best friends with from age 5 to around 9 or 10 but her mother divorced her Dad and she moved - we used to catch up in person every few years but I lost contact with her, and two guys that were good friends when I was a teen.

 

[jaysonsmom]

One of my best friends from South Africa moved to Australia in her 20s and we lost touch with each other. I was able to connect with her brother via FB and he gave me her email address. We exchanged a couple emails back and forth a few years back when FB just became popular...I'd say around 2009, but she never caught on to FB, at the time she was pregnant with baby #5, so that probably kept her busy! I'd love to visit Australia one day, it is on my bucket list, and would definitely look her up.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I'm one of those people who, for the most part, disconnected. I really only keep the VIP's active in my life, anyone else, no thanks. I've only been out of HS for 11 years and I only KIT with about 5 people from then and before. I'll get random friend requests and deny them. I really have no desire to let people into my life who I don't really "know".

 

[telephone89]

I'm one of those people who, for the most part, disconnected. I really only keep the VIP's active in my life, anyone else, no thanks. I've only been out of HS for 11 years and I only KIT with about 5 people from then and before. I'll get random friend requests and deny them. I really have no desire to let people into my life who I don't really "know".

This is how I feel. I was never the cool kid in school, and was often picked on, and kept to myself. I did make a few really deep lasting friendships, and I keep in touch with those people. However, I noticed that now that we are older, some of these people who I either didn't know or worse, ones who were terrible me tried to add me on FB. My FB list is pretty small, and I keep only people that I want, and talk to on there. I refused their friend requests on principle lol.

 

[distracts]

I'm one of those people who, for the most part, disconnected. I really only keep the VIP's active in my life, anyone else, no thanks. I've only been out of HS for 11 years and I only KIT with about 5 people from then and before. I'll get random friend requests and deny them. I really have no desire to let people into my life who I don't really "know".

This is how I feel. I was never the cool kid in school, and was often picked on, and kept to myself. I did make a few really deep lasting friendships, and I keep in touch with those people. However, I noticed that now that we are older, some of these people who I either didn't know or worse, ones who were terrible me tried to add me on FB. My FB list is pretty small, and I keep only people that I want, and talk to on there. I refused their friend requests on principle lol.

I wonder if part of the difference between me and other people who didn't keep many friends is also that I always went to very small schools. My entire grade through middle school was just 25 people, and my entire grade in high school was just 35 people. So even the people I wasn't actually friends with I knew pretty well, and even the people I actively disliked I had to get along with because I couldn't avoid them.

 

[KaeKae]

Thanks to facebook, I have reconnected with many childhood and high school friends.

It has become an annual tradition to get together with two girls I've known since kindergarten. It has to be five or six years running now. I look forward to it every summer.

I've also gotten together with a high school friend, and also thanks to facebook, I reconnected with others and finally went to a reunion. It was fun.

Would I like to see more of them, maybe more often? Maybe, but living across the country from most of them gets in the way, so I'm glad we can "see" each other on line. And, hey, there is no pressure to be anywhere or anyway, so maybe that's better.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I'm one of those people who, for the most part, disconnected. I really only keep the VIP's active in my life, anyone else, no thanks. I've only been out of HS for 11 years and I only KIT with about 5 people from then and before. I'll get random friend requests and deny them. I really have no desire to let people into my life who I don't really "know".

This is how I feel. I was never the cool kid in school, and was often picked on, and kept to myself. I did make a few really deep lasting friendships, and I keep in touch with those people. However, I noticed that now that we are older, some of these people who I either didn't know or worse, ones who were terrible me tried to add me on FB. My FB list is pretty small, and I keep only people that I want, and talk to on there. I refused their friend requests on principle lol.

I wonder if part of the difference between me and other people who didn't keep many friends is also that I always went to very small schools. My entire grade through middle school was just 25 people, and my entire grade in high school was just 35 people. So even the people I wasn't actually friends with I knew pretty well, and even the people I actively disliked I had to get along with because I couldn't avoid them.

Very possible, there were over 2,000 kids in my high school.

 

[packrat]

I'm one of those people who, for the most part, disconnected. I really only keep the VIP's active in my life, anyone else, no thanks. I've only been out of HS for 11 years and I only KIT with about 5 people from then and before. I'll get random friend requests and deny them. I really have no desire to let people into my life who I don't really "know".

This is how I feel. I was never the cool kid in school, and was often picked on, and kept to myself. I did make a few really deep lasting friendships, and I keep in touch with those people. However, I noticed that now that we are older, some of these people who I either didn't know or worse, ones who were terrible me tried to add me on FB. My FB list is pretty small, and I keep only people that I want, and talk to on there. I refused their friend requests on principle lol.

I wonder if part of the difference between me and other people who didn't keep many friends is also that I always went to very small schools. My entire grade through middle school was just 25 people, and my entire grade in high school was just 35 people. So even the people I wasn't actually friends with I knew pretty well, and even the people I actively disliked I had to get along with because I couldn't avoid them.

Distracts, I went to a small school too-I think once we made it up to 33 in our class, but mostly stayed around 29-31. All of the grades K-12 were that small. I find that when I ask my kids about other kids in school, I have to be more specific b/c they have more kids in each of the three separate buildings than we did K-12, so they have separate classes per grade, usually about 4 classes, whereas, we were just all one. So I get a lot of No, he's not in my class, he's in Mrs. So and So's class but still in my grade.

 

[Imdanny]

Jambalaya, thanks. Yes, you are so right. There were signs. I guess the obvious one in retrospect is that he had no empathy- to the point of being insulting- when my aunt died. He never gave me his condolences even though we were talking on the phone and he told me that it was "unbecoming" when I asked him to say a prayer for me. WTF? He had this idea that you attract what you think so everything but everything was my fault. He sent me self help books in the mail. He said his feelings were hurt when they were returned. I had to tell him (again) I was in grief, I suffer from depression, the post office was up a mountain road, I had no car, and the bus did not go there. He knew all this and had assumed I just hadn't gone- because that's how he really feels. All that other stuff had gone right over his head. I'm still in grief over my mother's death although it's not as bad. The first nine months were hell. It's been a long haul. Thanks for asking!

Missy, thanks. You've been through a lot. I hope you're feeling better? I read some of your thread one night several months ago and started crying. I read the beginning (I have a lot of empathy for people suffering with broken bones- let's just say I've seen it and the effects it can have up close and personal- including watching a loved one break a bone a few feet from me) so I skipped ahead to find the outcome, and found you had a new dilemma. I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't give advice. I didn't want to interrupt. I should have said something. You were in my thoughts and prayers. You are one of the nicest people. You deserve only good things in your life. I haven't bèen able to read or post here very often for about three years but you can see I'm still very attatched to this place and I am remiss in not catching up with you. Hugs!

 

[Sky56]

Yes, sometimes. I made a few good connections on FB, others not so satisfactory, so it's a mix. Two of my closest childhood friends died a long time ago. Through FB, I have a nice online connection with one of those friend's adult children.