Title is supposed to be "What do you feel/think about certain breeds of "first time buyers"?" but I ran out of space.
Disclaimer: I know there is a first time for everyone and I know I'm pretty new at this as well and very far from knowing everything there is about diamond. I also know we should promote inclusiveness and after all, isn't that why we are all here? To learn more about diamonds and to share that knowledge with the next person?
I am not referring to people who have done their research and have specific questions on how those theories apply to their diamonds. I am referring to people who come here, not having bothered to read up the basics and ask "so what do you think of this stone?" Then the generous ones will point out the rather obvious flaws with the diamond(s) they choose and the person will conveniently say/ask "thank you so much, but this is too much too digest, more than I care for, really, but I want a well performing diamond, can you just pick one for me, tell me why it's nice so I can get this over and done with and move on with my life?" (Oh and bonus if they say "I really need this asap because I want to propose next week", another bonus if they want to find a "steal", thinking that they can game the system WITHOUT even putting in some effort). Another breed is people who claimed they have spent 3-6 months or even longer "researching" for diamonds and come up with questions that display lack of understanding of the basics. I don't really know what they refer to as "researching". Disclaimer: I'm painting with a broad brush here, my examples can be a mish-mash from different occurrences. The actual sample size that displays everything that I mentioned above may actually be very small.
Granted that not everyone is into diamonds and hence may not want to invest that much time and energy into searching for the one. And there are a lot of people who are more than happy to help and share their knowledge. But when the process turns into repetitive hand-holding that offers no interesting insights or intellectual stimulation, invites exchanges of ideas and viewpoints, where the information shared can be easily found if they want to bother searching old threads or other sources on the Internet… I don’t really know how to feel about that.
And isn't the effort part of buying a diamond? It's an important purchase for the soon-to-be (if not already is) the most important person in your life. Sure, some people can buy a honking 5 carat diamond from Tiffany without even batting an eye. They can claim the efforts are shown through earning the $$$ to buy the diamond. And does it matter, they ask, if I can make the lady swooned w/o much effort on my part? That may be the case. But when people visit PS, I'd assume they're seeking for value. And there is value to be had for those who bother to acquire the knowledge. After all, even though we should focus on the recipients (generally the ladies) when buying diamonds, what ends up on the recipients' finger reflect on (again, just generally) the guys - whether he can provide, has a good taste, is a good judge of value, cares about quality of the important items he purchases, cares about her etc.
I guess my frustration stems from people who just want shortcuts. I come from a value system that believes everyone needs to put in their hours.
You don't come to business meetings half an hour late as a junior in a company and ask "what did I miss?"
Perhaps I'm just reading too much into things.
Thoughts?
Perhaps there are other ways of looking at this that I'm not currently seeing?
(I'm looking for constructive feedback, not a mere "shut up newbie, even the senior posters here don't complain. They are happy to do that. If you find such occurrences invoking annoyance then just ignore the thread or get off the forum altogether.")
Disclaimer: I know there is a first time for everyone and I know I'm pretty new at this as well and very far from knowing everything there is about diamond. I also know we should promote inclusiveness and after all, isn't that why we are all here? To learn more about diamonds and to share that knowledge with the next person?
I am not referring to people who have done their research and have specific questions on how those theories apply to their diamonds. I am referring to people who come here, not having bothered to read up the basics and ask "so what do you think of this stone?" Then the generous ones will point out the rather obvious flaws with the diamond(s) they choose and the person will conveniently say/ask "thank you so much, but this is too much too digest, more than I care for, really, but I want a well performing diamond, can you just pick one for me, tell me why it's nice so I can get this over and done with and move on with my life?" (Oh and bonus if they say "I really need this asap because I want to propose next week", another bonus if they want to find a "steal", thinking that they can game the system WITHOUT even putting in some effort). Another breed is people who claimed they have spent 3-6 months or even longer "researching" for diamonds and come up with questions that display lack of understanding of the basics. I don't really know what they refer to as "researching". Disclaimer: I'm painting with a broad brush here, my examples can be a mish-mash from different occurrences. The actual sample size that displays everything that I mentioned above may actually be very small.
Granted that not everyone is into diamonds and hence may not want to invest that much time and energy into searching for the one. And there are a lot of people who are more than happy to help and share their knowledge. But when the process turns into repetitive hand-holding that offers no interesting insights or intellectual stimulation, invites exchanges of ideas and viewpoints, where the information shared can be easily found if they want to bother searching old threads or other sources on the Internet… I don’t really know how to feel about that.
And isn't the effort part of buying a diamond? It's an important purchase for the soon-to-be (if not already is) the most important person in your life. Sure, some people can buy a honking 5 carat diamond from Tiffany without even batting an eye. They can claim the efforts are shown through earning the $$$ to buy the diamond. And does it matter, they ask, if I can make the lady swooned w/o much effort on my part? That may be the case. But when people visit PS, I'd assume they're seeking for value. And there is value to be had for those who bother to acquire the knowledge. After all, even though we should focus on the recipients (generally the ladies) when buying diamonds, what ends up on the recipients' finger reflect on (again, just generally) the guys - whether he can provide, has a good taste, is a good judge of value, cares about quality of the important items he purchases, cares about her etc.
I guess my frustration stems from people who just want shortcuts. I come from a value system that believes everyone needs to put in their hours.
You don't come to business meetings half an hour late as a junior in a company and ask "what did I miss?"
Perhaps I'm just reading too much into things.
Thoughts?
Perhaps there are other ways of looking at this that I'm not currently seeing?
(I'm looking for constructive feedback, not a mere "shut up newbie, even the senior posters here don't complain. They are happy to do that. If you find such occurrences invoking annoyance then just ignore the thread or get off the forum altogether.")
. But - I understand how that happens, how someone can be excited about a purchase, or even excited into making a purchase, and then do their research and and start to have second thoughts after the fact. 
). But anyway he was told that since he's a friend, the wholesaler can offer his diamonds at 70% off the retail value since he won't be taking any profits... 
Sounds sketchy and I told him about a diamond advice site (before I found this forum), but I think he decided to go ahead with it anyway. I'm really curious of what he got and how much he paid for it but don't know what's the best way to find out politely.
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