Do You Value Friendship?

[Sky56]

The upside is that once you know the signs and what to look for, it's easier to see who is a real friend and who isn't.

I also lost friends because of the kids issue. I don't have kids and some friends did and they lost interest or were too busy, etc. I accept that oftentimes parents are swamped and tired and things can understandibly fall by the wayside, but again, I have true friends who had kids, it need not necessarily be that way.

 

[iLander]

To address your original issues;

Yeah, people generally just want to have an audience, not a friend.

I've given up. I mostly just chat a social gatherings, I don't bother trying to make friends anymore.

Oh man! This makes me sad. You are an exceptional lady! Someone would be blessed to have you for a friend!

Stop it, you're spoiling me!

Seriously though, that's very sweet, it brought a tear to my eye.

 

[anne_h]

Interesting!

I work a lot, in a male-dominated field, so over the years most new people I've met have been men. And yes, most of them tend to talk about themselves! I thought it was a male socialization thing (they do it with each other too, not just women), but what I'm hearing in this thread is all about *women* doing this. lol

I've never been one to have many friends, even as a child I liked having only 1-2 close ones. I'm an introvert, so managing personal relationships with too many people makes me feel drained.

Right now I have one good friend, it's a man, and he's very good at two-way conversations. My husband is also good at this. Seems I value people like this, as these are the people I have chosen to be in my life.

I was once very close with a certain relative. But over the years, our conversations went from being mutual to being very one-sided. So slowly I let that relationship die. Meanwhile, my relationship with my mother and sisters has stayed great, even improving over the years. That's been fun.

My personal opinion is that everything we do is because it works for us in some way. It makes us feel good or meets some type of need. Same goes for what we want out of friendships. I'm fine with this.

Anne

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I really value *good* friendships. As I get older I really enjoy what I call "easy" friendships. The kind where neither feels obligated to call regularly but when you are together it is like no time has gone by. I am really lucky to have a handful of those types of friends. I used to be stuck in my "rescuing" phase I loved to help dysfunctional people. I don't really look for the same qualities in friendships anymore! Makes my life MUCH easier to surround myself with healthy people. I have let lots of friends go throughout my life. I have also learned to attract healthier people, I had to become healthier.

 

[House Cat]

I just remembered this...

My stepdad committed suicide. It was rather brutal because he did it in the house when my mom was home. The physical trauma,'pain, and anguish that my family and I were going through can't really be defined by words. Two weeks after the event, we were invited to a dinner party. The hosts were semi good friends of ours. Their cat had died the week before. They knew of my stepdad's passing, the nature of the death, and what we were going through. They didn't so much as say they were sorry for my loss.

What they DID do was go on and on about the death of their cat...all night.


I love my kitty just as much as the next person, maybe more, but I could never put her death over the suicide of a friend's father.

Yeah.