shape
carat
color
clarity

The Official TTC Thread!

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thanks, Tourmaline. I'm sorry you haven't had any luck so far on #5, but what a blessing to have 4 running around to keep you busy and loved. :)

My good news is that I made it through to the evening of 15dpo before any spotting, and it was very light. So, the prometrium 100% made the difference for me, and for the first time in a long time I got a good, clean 2-week LP. I take the prometrium at bedtime, so it makes sense that the breakthrough bleeding started to show at the end of the day. I took my final dose last night w/o AF showing (just the spotting reaching the point of being all day yesterday and darker). Not sure anyone reads this that has taken P during the LP, but does anybody know if it might screw with when I ovulate this next cycle?

Bad news is FRER confirmed BFN this morning (17dpo), so I'm definitely out and just on watch for AF so I can start a new chart. This will be our 6th month trying, so I'm really really hoping the P does the trick this round. In the meantime DH is going to contact his doc about getting tested. It's "early" for that, but we're taking the attitude of it can't hurt, most likely it will be a good result and and just get checked off the list of worries, and if it's not, better to know sooner than later. Especially since, as I understand it, the time it takes for sperm to develop and mature means any interventions can take several months to improve things.
 

monkeyprincess

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2009
Messages
2,873
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Ladyciel, I've taken progesterone supplements (although only when I was also taking fertility medications). Anyway, no, the progesterone should not affect your follicular phase. Once AF starts, your cycle should resume as normal and as long as you are normally regular, you will most likely ovulate roughly around the same day you normally would (although it's definitely possible it could be a few days off). The only time I'm aware of progesterone interfering with ovulation is if you start taking it at the wrong time before ovulation. By the way, have you had your progesterone tested 7 days after ovulation? From what I've learned, sometimes the cause of pre-AF spotting relates to the follicular side of the cycle, and you are not having a strong ovulation. For that reason, sometimes clomid or Femara are prescribed to have a stronger/higher quality ovulation, which in turn lengthens the luteal phase. Did you have your progesterone tested on 7dpo? Hang in there. You are wise to start investigating and hopefully ruling out any fertility issues. I know firsthand how frustrating it is when it doesn't happen right away. Wishing you all kinds of luck going forward!
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thanks, MP! That's what I figured, but I wanted to be sure. No, doc didn't test my P levels before prescribing it. She took my history of when my spotting started (around 10dpo), what it was like vs when AF showed, that I was consistently ovulating around the same time, had a temp rise, etc and immediately suspected LPD. I'm happy to give the P a couple more months before pushing for something to strengthen ovulation. Since all signs suggest I AM ovulating every cycle, and I get lots of estrogen-type CM, I'm hesitant to try the clomid right away for fear of ending up with multiples. While yes, we do hope to eventually have 2 kiddos, we're definitely not prepared to take on twins. There's always a small chance it will happen, and it's a bit higher already since I'm in my 30s, but I'd rather not increase it any more if we can help it!
 

monkeyprincess

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2009
Messages
2,873
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Ladyciel, I completely understand that. I'm less than two weeks from having twins, and it certainly isn't something to take lightly! Hoping things works out for you and the progesterone helps. I also had pretty regular cycles and seemed to be ovulating every month, but I had short cycles and pre-AF spotting and shortish LPs. The first time around, we were pretty much unexplained infertility, and the second time, it turned out my ovarian reserve was dropping and on the low side for my age (33 at the time), but still pretty much unexplained. If you happen to end up needing to try clomid or femara, just make sure you get carefully monitored. It's people who take it without getting ultrasounds to monitor their follicles that end up with the crazy higher order multiples! If you take a lower dose and depending on the day you start, it's possible to only end up with one follicle.
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thanks for all the advice, MP. My doc is open to dialog, so I'll be sure to push for a careful workup and monitoring if we get to the point of needing a different approach. My cycle is on the longer side (31-32 days), but that isn't anything new - my cycles were the same length 10 years ago. The only change was the spotting showing up and then creeping in earlier and earlier as time went on. So, I was spotting by 10dpo every cycle and then AF on 14dpo. The P this month completed knocked it out until 15dpo and AF starting trying to break through.

As soon as I hit enter on my last post I thought "DUH, if anybody can relate to multiples, it's MP". I hope the few days of waiting you have left are relaxing so you can save up your energy for the coming whirlwind. All of you, but especially baby girl, are in my thoughts.
 

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hi all :wavey:
Time for me to stop lurking I think. Formerly a fixture in the waiting but waiting thread, DH and I started trying for #1 on holiday last month. Unfortunately no luck and we are onto cycle 2.
A few months ago I had to go gluten free and am feeling much better for it but I think it has changed up my cycle from very short to slightly long (apparently gluten can mess with your hormone quite a bit- who knew?) I'm going see if this trend continues and give it a few more try's and a chance to settle down before I start temping and charting. As I'm not sure when I should be ovulating, my current technique is just lots and lots of BD-Ing :naughty:
So far DH is quite a fan of this technique.
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Welcome, 4ever! DHs are almost ALWAYS fans of that approach. :lol:
 

random_thought

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
Messages
1,065
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Just popping in to say that I won an award at the Resolve Walk of Hope today for infertility awareness :)

Still not pregnant but I walked away with 6 free boxes of FRERs so winning! Lol!

11303658_10100458504481780_2023577933_n__1_.jpg

11180621_1620733024861266_5840942167284153002_n.jpg
 

monkeyprincess

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2009
Messages
2,873
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Random, congrats! And I couldn't think of a better prize for you, knowing your love of testing :) Hope all is going well with you.
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Love your shirt design, RT, and that's an awesome prize!

Well, despite the "norm" of only affecting the LP, seems like the P completely changed both AF and ovulation for me. AF got a slightly slow start, thanks to the forced delay, but even once she hit her usual flow,she still dragged on for days longer than usual. So, instead of a 3 or 4 day AF, this month I was blessed by a full week plus additional spotting. Then, the spotting was joined by crazy amounts of EWCM, and I got a positive opk yesterday on CD 11. I don't normally ov until around cd17, so this is definitely early. Thankfully, with all the EWCM to make me suspicious, we got in some BD and I started the opk tests early. It could be a false alarm, but I kind of doubt it given how clear my signs are and how dark the opk was (darkest I've gotten). I guess the longer AF makes sense if my lining was more developed by the P, and maybe ov got a head start, acting like I had my usual LP instead of the artificially longer one? :confused:
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hi ladies, posting here because I am bursting at the seams and have no one to talk to. As background, I have never wanted kids. In fact, I made sure hubby would be ok with never having kids the very moment he proposed. Even when friends around us were having kids, it never swayed my decision. I turned 31 last year, and ever since, suddenly and with no real reason, began considering the possibility of having a child.

To TL;DR this, we are officially trying 8) . This was our first month. I am currently 9 DPO. I have butterflies in my tummy, but no freak-outs - so I imagine this means I am as ready as I am ever going to be!

The hardest issue I've had for the past week is no drinking. I have a very busy social and work life and both hubby and I travel for work a lot. Everyone appreciates my love for wine, it is normal practice for friends to bring over a great vintage to drink on the patio, or grab a late-night drink after a long meeting with colleagues. So it is going to be difficult explaining the abstinence. How do you guys cope with this?
 

April20

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
3,372
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

kama_s|1436370243|3900384 said:
Hi ladies, posting here because I am bursting at the seams and have no one to talk to. As background, I have never wanted kids. In fact, I made sure hubby would be ok with never having kids the very moment he proposed. Even when friends around us were having kids, it never swayed my decision. I turned 31 last year, and ever since, suddenly and with no real reason, began considering the possibility of having a child.

To TL;DR this, we are officially trying 8) . This was our first month. I am currently 9 DPO. I have butterflies in my tummy, but no freak-outs - so I imagine this means I am as ready as I am ever going to be!

The hardest issue I've had for the past week is no drinking. I have a very busy social and work life and both hubby and I travel for work a lot. Everyone appreciates my love for wine, it is normal practice for friends to bring over a great vintage to drink on the patio, or grab a late-night drink after a long meeting with colleagues. So it is going to be difficult explaining the abstinence. How do you guys cope with this?

Kama, I'm in the "drink till it's pink" club. You don't share a blood supply with a baby until around 6 weeks (so 4 weeks past O). I was drinking cocktails literally up until I got my BFP. Many do choose not to drink in the TWW, and that's perfectly fine if that's your decision, but I personally never saw the point. It's hard enough not having the wine and/or cocktail for the next 38 weeks once you find out. 4 weeks, 6 days until I can hopefully have a nice summer cocktail. Not that I'm counting. Ha ha.

As a side note, I was ambivalent about kids until I had an "oops" pregnancy at 36. It ended in a m/c, but completely turned my world around. It took me seven months to get my husband on board with having one. I''ll be 38 this month and here I am, about to have my first. So I get the about face. I have another friend that REALLY, REALLY didn't want kids. Like wanted to get her tubes tied in her 20s didn't want them. She turned 31 or 32 and all the sudden really wanted a child. She has a two year old now. Life changes so much as we get older, it's not that unusual to realize that you actually do want one before it's too "late".

Sooooo, when ya going to start testing? We're a bunch of enablers around here. I got my BFP at 8DPO. Just sayin'..... :cheeky:
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

April20|1436375785|3900434 said:
Kama, I'm in the "drink till it's pink" club. You don't share a blood supply with a baby until around 6 weeks (so 4 weeks past O). I was drinking cocktails literally up until I got my BFP. Many do choose not to drink in the TWW, and that's perfectly fine if that's your decision, but I personally never saw the point. It's hard enough not having the wine and/or cocktail for the next 38 weeks once you find out. 4 weeks, 6 days until I can hopefully have a nice summer cocktail. Not that I'm counting. Ha ha.

As a side note, I was ambivalent about kids until I had an "oops" pregnancy at 36. It ended in a m/c, but completely turned my world around. It took me seven months to get my husband on board with having one. I''ll be 38 this month and here I am, about to have my first. So I get the about face. I have another friend that REALLY, REALLY didn't want kids. Like wanted to get her tubes tied in her 20s didn't want them. She turned 31 or 32 and all the sudden really wanted a child. She has a two year old now. Life changes so much as we get older, it's not that unusual to realize that you actually do want one before it's too "late".

Sooooo, when ya going to start testing? We're a bunch of enablers around here. I got my BFP at 8DPO. Just sayin'..... :cheeky:

April, your response is like a god-send. Thank you for sharing your experience! And congratulations on having a bun in the oven that is almost ready to pop!

I meant to look up when blood supply is actually established. Back in my graduate school days as a budding neonatal toxicologist, I remember advising no drinking after implantation (i.e. 7-10 days post O), but nice to know I still have a bit of a wiggle room. I felt incredibly guilty have half a pint of beer last night after a particularly grueling meeting, relieved that I don't need to be so hard on myself (there will be plenty of other opportunities ha).

We've toyed with the idea of hubby having a vasectomy, but I am so glad we never went through with that. Hubby actually has always wanted kids, but is only now giving it serious thoughts because he had made peace with the fact that we may never have any offspring. He is on board with just one child though! PHEW.

I was going to wait until AF time, but now the wheels are a spinnin'! Are there tests that are sensitive enough to test now?? OMG, the butterflies.
 

April20

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
3,372
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

kama_s|1436377270|3900450 said:
April20|1436375785|3900434 said:
Kama, I'm in the "drink till it's pink" club. You don't share a blood supply with a baby until around 6 weeks (so 4 weeks past O). I was drinking cocktails literally up until I got my BFP. Many do choose not to drink in the TWW, and that's perfectly fine if that's your decision, but I personally never saw the point. It's hard enough not having the wine and/or cocktail for the next 38 weeks once you find out. 4 weeks, 6 days until I can hopefully have a nice summer cocktail. Not that I'm counting. Ha ha.

As a side note, I was ambivalent about kids until I had an "oops" pregnancy at 36. It ended in a m/c, but completely turned my world around. It took me seven months to get my husband on board with having one. I''ll be 38 this month and here I am, about to have my first. So I get the about face. I have another friend that REALLY, REALLY didn't want kids. Like wanted to get her tubes tied in her 20s didn't want them. She turned 31 or 32 and all the sudden really wanted a child. She has a two year old now. Life changes so much as we get older, it's not that unusual to realize that you actually do want one before it's too "late".

Sooooo, when ya going to start testing? We're a bunch of enablers around here. I got my BFP at 8DPO. Just sayin'..... :cheeky:

April, your response is like a god-send. Thank you for sharing your experience! And congratulations on having a bun in the oven that is almost ready to pop!

I meant to look up when blood supply is actually established. Back in my graduate school days as a budding neonatal toxicologist, I remember advising no drinking after implantation (i.e. 7-10 days post O), but nice to know I still have a bit of a wiggle room. I felt incredibly guilty have half a pint of beer last night after a particularly grueling meeting, relieved that I don't need to be so hard on myself (there will be plenty of other opportunities ha).

We've toyed with the idea of hubby having a vasectomy, but I am so glad we never went through with that. Hubby actually has always wanted kids, but is only now giving it serious thoughts because he had made peace with the fact that we may never have any offspring. He is on board with just one child though! PHEW.

I was going to wait until AF time, but now the w

heels are a spinnin'! Are there tests that are sensitive enough to test now?? OMG, the butterflies.


The tests are pretty sensitive, especially if you have an early implanter. I started out with "internet cheapies" aka Wondfos. You can get them on Amazon. They're so cheap, you don't feel guilty using them! For some people, they don't show a positive until AF is due or later, but for others they are faster to show positive. YMMV. They're what I got my BFP at 8DPO with. There are fakes out there, but the real ones are here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004AOMAOG?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00\

If you have a Dollar Tree near you, you can also get tests there. They're decently sensitive. The 88 cent ones at Walmart are similar. Most of us start with the cheapies and when we think we're seeing a line, use a FRER (First Response, Early Results) to see how "good" the line is. Yes, we're all insane. Then the grandmama of them all is the Clear Blue Digital with Weeks Estimator. Once I was really sure I had a "good" positive (I'd had a chemical two months before- light, light positives that faded away and then AF started) I busted out the digi to test and leave for DH to find.

Oh and side note. Stay away from the "blue dye" tests. They are the devil. They are famous for very realistic evaporation lines. You want pink dye tests once you want a "good" test vs a cheapie.

I hope your stay here is short and sweet and you get a BFP soon!
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hi Kama!

I'm also in the "drink til it's pink" group. So don't beat yourself up. Actually, I try to have a glass of wine the night before I test, since it could potentially be my last one for a while.

I'm one of the early testing enablers on here. I got BFPs with both my kids at 9DPO. I usually use FRERs (First Response Early Result) because they are, by far, the most sensitive tests out there. They were great as long as you're not a testing addict, in which case I recommend the Wondfos already mentioned. Walmart also sells some decent tests that are $.88. But for early testing, FRERs are the gold standard.

Welcome!
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thank you SO very much for all the information, April and amc! I have been researching pregnancy tests this afternoon and had so many questions but felt they were too silly to ask. Your posts have been very educational.

I guess I am going shopping tonight....for home pregnancy tests! :naughty: :errrr:

Also wanted to share something I came across: attached is a graph on the sensitivities of various brands. Not surprisingly, based on a study, FRER was found to be consistently the most sensitive. Here is the link to the page:
http://www.parentingweekly.com/preconception/preconception_information/home_pregnancy_test_accuracy.htm

_639.png
 

baby monster

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 2, 2007
Messages
3,631
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Kama, don't worry about enjoying a drink here and there. I had a glass of rose at a friend's birthday party the day before getting a positive. But there are studies out there that say alcohol reduces fertility so I reduced my overall drinking, i.e. from 2 glasses at dinner to 1. And I asked DH drink less during TTC as he likes to go out with his friends after a stressful week and knock back a few.

As far as not wanting kids, no one was more surprised than my friends and family when we announced our first. They all thought we wouldn't have kids at all. But we're allowed to change our minds and the age does tend to do that. It's funny that everyone is now convinced that we're "one and done" couple but we're actually having a second. it'll be another surprise for F&F.
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Welcome, Kama! :wavey:

I think the other ladies pretty much covered the long and the short of it re: tests and that yes, you can test before AF is due. I think my only caution would be to keep in mind your personality, degree of obsessiveness, and how you handle hope and rejection, when venturing into testing before AF is late. Repeated early tests can be a bit draining emotionally (and financially, if you spring for lots of FRERs). I got a big batch of wondfos and test pretty much every day from 8dpo on. My first month TTC (January), I had no issue with the repeated BFNs, because I told myself that it is so rare to hit it out of the park on the first try. Month 2 they started to sting, and month 3 they really started to weigh on me. It's gotten a bit easier since then, in part because my expectations have shifted toward not feeling so excited/sure/hopeful every month. Regardless of how they make me feel, it's just my personality that I feel the NEED to know ASAP, even if it hurts along the way. :wall: Some women end up finding they're better off not testing at all until AF is late, just to avoid thinking about it too much and getting down/stressed/worried, and others can't/won't stop and test every day or more than once a day from 7dpo until AF or BFP (and then they test every day to try and see the line get darker). We tend to be a bunch of test-enablers around here, but please don't take from us that it's totally the norm or the right choice for every woman!

AFM, I'm 2 or 3 dpo on CD15, when normally I don't ov until CD 16-19. I'm not too upset - it means less time stressing and I get to test sooner (like 5 days, if I'm honest lol). DH got his SA results back and though he hasn't talked to the doc yet they are pretty good we think. Nice high count, 80% motility. Only slightly concerning thing is his morphology was 7%. The lab results says 15% or more is "normal", but apparently the WHO guidelines were updated not too long ago to say anything over 4% is normal. Whatever the case, by itself it's not enough to be worth worrying about.
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Regarding your chart-
Those are the values that are stated on the test's box. There have been studies done to see what they tests actually test to in labs. FRERs are somewhere around 6.2. I know I got a positive when my beta was 9. The newish Clearblue Easy Digital with Weeks Indicator also says 25 on the box, but if you read their FDA docs (yes, I'm a dork) they get positives around 10.
 

aviastar

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 5, 2010
Messages
1,190
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm a non-tester, so if you go that route you certainly aren't alone- we just have less to post about! :lol:

I tried the early and often approach and it didn't work for me at all, then we struggled and it was just even worse. My cycles can vary so I had a policy to never test until 5 days past my longest cycle (36 days); which meant I was already 5 weeks by the time I tested for this current pregnancy.

Bonuses of being a non-tester:
1) it's really confirmation at that point, I already had nausea all day
2) the lines are super dark!
3) less time to wait for your first appointment- I only had to wait a week!
4) less stress about chemicals; don't know if I ever had any, don't want to know, can't handle it.

Either way you go, there are pros and cons so you have to go with what works for you!
 

evergreen

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2012
Messages
828
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Welcome, kama! happy to see there are a lot of other quiet lurkers around, like me, that poke their heads out to say hi and wish you luck! I'm in cycle 1 or 2 of TTC (depends on if you count the month after I took out my IUD) and I'm not making any changes to my habits. Wine, sushi, more wine, whatever. (FWIW, already am a pretty healthy eater and nonsmoker and reasonably active and etc.) I can't promise you how I'll behave if/when I get a BFP, whether that would change my behavior... but there are entire countries worth of epidemiologic data to suggest gentle alcohol consumption (France) and sushi (Japan) are OK. Just don't get hammered, or eat gas station sushi. ;-)

The problem with epidemiology is, sure, if I say someone has a 2% chance of badness that means *something* -- but for an individual person, it's either NO BAD THING or YES BAD THING. Like, 100% or 0% once the baby comes out. I'm sure if I lost a pregnancy because of some horrible sushi-borne parasite I would feel completely awful about it, but then again, I have had zillions of sushi plates and never gotten sick so I trust that the point-estimate for the risk is low. Similarly, if something was wrong with my fetus I might blame it on the half-glass of wine I had once a week, and I might even be right, but overwhelmingly most of the time, that won't cause any problem. You have to decide your personal tolerance for (theoretical) culpability and how much risk you're comfortable assuming - and what the payoff is if you don't change your behavior.

Of course, I've learned from friends, colleagues, and especially this forum that the BFP doesn't (always/usually) show up right away. Not letting myself have those delicious things 50% of the time -- because that's what the 2WW really represents -- for the duration of TTC isn't for me, based on my understanding of the epidemiology.

Sorry this was rambly - for how much I've been thinking about this, you'd figure I'd have organized my thoughts better. But sigh. Wine and sushi. <3
 

random_thought

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
Messages
1,065
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Don't mean to pop in and be a debbie downer, but I got AF on the anniversary of my third year of infertility. How appropriate, ugh! :nono:
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hugs, RT. I know that's got to be rough. :blackeye:

Evergreen, I get where you're coming from with the epidemiology statistics re: risk, i.e. for each person it's all or nothing, but I think that's why, personally, I know I will err on the side of caution for things with decent evidence of being a problem (like alcohol). That's because the rewards for taking on the risk just don't balance out. In other words, sure, the chances of getting listeria from deli meats, etc, are pretty slim...but if you DO get it, it's bad news with possibly terrifying complications. Do I love lunch meat so much I can't do without for a less than a year to protect my unborn baby? Is that turkey on rye worth the risk, however small? Definitely nope. Also, I'm allergic to everything fish/seafood - if it lives underwater, it makes me horribly ill. Soooo, sushi is not something I will miss. I WILL miss booze, but I fully plan to replace it with chocolate. :lol:

To put into perspective how the issue isn't just the risk, but how it balances with reward....vaccines do carry some (very small) percentage of risk, and the complications can be lethal/horrible/awful for the unlucky few. However, most people agree the rewards of vaccines make taking on that risk completely worth it. (I really don't want to start a pro/anti vax debate...just using it as an example where the pros carry more weight than getting to enjoy favorite foods.)

ETA: I'm ok with having a single beer or glass of wine during the TWW, but I try to limit it to before 6-7dpo. I started out having nothing after ov, but I eased it a bit to keep my sanity. Because, in this case, the reward of a drink when I'm super stressing about whether this is our month or not is worth the super tiny, might not even be pregnant, and definitely not even touching my uterine wall right now, risk from havnig a single glass of alcohol. Risk <<< Reward.
 

evergreen

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2012
Messages
828
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Aww, RT, hugs. :(

I wrote a big long crazy thing (ha! yes, bigger, longer, and crazier than this) about avoiding theoretically risky exposures during pregnancy, then got rid of it because it was really preachy and I'm a little worried I'm going to turn into the sketchy one on here, all Woo drink your wine!. I just don't want what I said to be interpreted as Sushi is more important to me than a healthy baby!. Almost all of the "normal" exposures (cats, sushi, cold cuts, alcohol) have recommendations levied on the basis of very mediocre-to-poor scientific evidence. (Retrospective cohort studies and case-control studies, mostly, with a few prospective cohort studies in there but definitely no randomized controlled trials since that's potentially unethical and pregnant women are a "protected population" - something recently bemoaned in the medical literature, because it means we physicians often don't know what we're doing with the same precision as we do in other populations.)

I guess why I'm going into this in such detail is that I know people won't agree with my decisions and wouldn't make them for themselves, like how for LC the risk >>> benefit of any alcohol consumption at all during pregnancy. There's no right choice for everyone for most of these potential exposures, no matter what the CDC says and what the medical "party line" is -- in their position, they must offer the most conservative advice possible, which is much easier to do than qualifying that advice with the extensive limitations of the studies available to guide them.

It's just that by priming women to think so many things are "wrong" to do during pregnancy, when something goes wrong with a pregnancy, it's automatically the mother's fault. Your mind snaps back to that glass of champagne you had at your sister's wedding, or the time your brother-in-law promised the chicken was fully cooked but it was a little pink right next to the bone. I reject that thought paradigm to a large extent -- there is, sadly, a lot of randomness in the world, and we understand so little of cause-and-effect in pregnancy. Sorry. Ugh. Hopping off the soapbox.

Sushi is not more important than a healthy baby. And I reserve the right to make a complete about-face if anything happens to change my view of the evidence. ;-) Because that's science!

ETA Also, I think it bears repeating that if I do get pregnant, i may also completely change my mind about how I interpret all this. Thinking like a mom is almost certainly different than thinking like a scientist.... Probably not explicitly better or worse, just different.
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
Can we shhhhhh on the cat box stuff? I don't want DH to think he doesn't have to do it.
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hehehe, amc. Mine does all the scooping too, and always has despite me never being pregnant yet. It started when we got our boys as kittens, and I wondered aloud how long before pregnancy it'd be ok to catch Tox and have it clear my system. He was instantly paranoid, and now I only scoop when he's out of town. :twisted:

Evergreen, I'm sorry if it came across like I was saying you think sushi is more impt than baby. What I truly meant is that for me, the food choices are less impt than my perception of the risk. I, too, am a scientist, and though my logic and analysis of all the research tugs at the "it's probably totally fine" part of my brain like it seems to yours, the other part of me says it can't possibly hurt to be cautious. Like you said, there is so much random with pregnancy that you can't control...I guess I'd just prefer to control the things I can by avoiding what might be bad, again within the context of how I perceive the risk:reward ratio. I won't follow every single warning to the same degree...like I doubt I'll cook every piece of meat until it's a hockey puck, because I know the temp suggestions are safety-factored to a ridiculous degree. I 100% agree that the culture of blaming mom needs to be reined in, though I suspect the nature of becoming a mom is a bit counterproductive on that note. How can you bring a person into the world and raise them and not wonder if you did everything you could to make them the best/healthiest/happiest you could?
 

baby monster

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 2, 2007
Messages
3,631
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Alcohol and how much/when is a touchy subject. I remember having dinner with friends when DS was already 8-9mos old but still nursing few times a day. I had a glass of wine at that dinner and one of my friends started guilt-tripping me about nursing my son with boozed up breastmilk. She was very righteous in her indignation. No amount of scientific discussion of how the body would metabolize one glass of wine and the resulting minute concentration in breastmilk many hours later would convince her that it was ok.
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Baby_M, that's a great example of how the really conservative recommendations and treatment of pregnancy as a zero-tolerance, no ifs ands or buts condition can result in a passionate stance not necessarily grounded in the evidence behind the original recommendations or biological fact, for that matter. They actually sell milk test strips you can use to check you've cleared the alcohol....not sure how I learned about them.
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I spent all yesterday (7dpo) coming to peace with not testing in the morning. I really think I could have resisted. I was in a good place. Then, just before bed, DH asks, "so when do you start testing?" :doh:

I'm at least giving myself credit for not wasting a FRER, just a wondfo...
 

baby monster

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 2, 2007
Messages
3,631
Re: The Official TTC Thread!

7dpo is so early. I know you mentioned that you are ok with early testing but my wondfo was very light even at 14dpo.
 
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top