Are you happy?

[4ever]

Following on from the "do you have a happy marriage?" thread

Are you happy?

What in your life makes you happy?
What could you change that would make you happier?

 

[missy]

I am happy. Despite some dark clouds (all health related) we have been dealing with since 2014 I am happy. What would make me happier? If all my health issues would magically resolve and if my loved ones would remain happy and healthy as well that would make life perfect for me.

I think happiness comes from within and external factors/stuff can make you temporarily happy and excited but that will not last. Only from within can you find peace and lasting happiness no matter the external factors.

Of course the external factors contribute to one's state of mind and feeling of happiness but only contribute and does not provide real lasting contentment, peace and happiness. How many wealthy and successful people are not happy? Though money doesn't buy happiness but it makes life easier that is for sure.

However, true lasting happiness is something you cannot buy but comes from what we do and from meaningful experiences and relationships. From our hobbies, from activities we love doing and from the people with whom we love sharing our lives. This is what makes life wonderful and worthwhile and what makes us happy. IMO.

 

[stracci2000]

Yes, I am finally at a place in my life where I am happy.
There have been some real rough times for me, but it seems like they are a distant memory.
I was stuck in a crappy job for years, and I was mad at the world for a long time.
I finally have a job that I love, and I really need to let DH know more often how much I love and appreciate him.
A little more money would be good, but right now, we are pretty much A-OK.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Not most of the time, though I certainly have moments of clarity. My animals are extremely therapeutic. I often feel I would be very lost without them.

 

[dk168]

I am happy, content, and grateful for my lot.

DK

 

[Jambalaya]

Following on from the "do you have a happy marriage?" thread

Are you happy?

What in your life makes you happy?
What could you change that would make you happier?

Given my circumstances, I'm quite happy, really. Happier since reading a great book about how to deal with worrying.

What in my life makes me happy? My beautiful jewelry, a clean house, home-cooked meals, and self-reliance.

What could I change to make me happier? Losing weight - so becoming healthier - and nailing my habit of procrastination.

I don't feel there is anything wrong with my inner happiness - the things that get me down are purely external and pretty much all to do with the problems of others. People I know are going through multiple bereavements, terminal illness, elder issues such as loneliness, domestic violence....I think that's it. And they all offload it onto me, of course.

However, I think that people who are truly unhappy are unhappy inside, with themselves.The unhappiest people are deeply jealous and insecure, which leads them to be hateful of others who they think have more than them. I don't have those problems. I have zero need for external status in the world and am not envious of others who have it. I am not jealous of what others have - never have been - and I do not feel the need to tear down others who are better-looking, more successful, or wealthier than I am. People who do are the unhappiest, I think. I'm one of the only people I know who is very happy to be close friends with beautiful women, because I'm not at all threatened by their looks. The fact that someone is better looking than me does not bother me one bit.

So if I could just solve others' heartbreak, lose weight, and stop my procrastination problem, I'd be great!

 

[distracts]

Am I happy? I don't know. Reasonably so. More so than I ever thought I could be, which I suppose means yes.

What could I change that would make me happier? My brain chemistry. And not just now, but in the past, as I think being wildly depressed from 12-18 affected things that antidepressants can't touch. There are a lot of behavioral issues/habits/thought patterns that I am still working on changing, that I KNOW were not the way I were before I was depressed or even in the early years of it. I'm still very much trying to become who I feel I really am, if that makes any sense.

But, like I said, for most of my teen years and even some of my early twenties, I assumed I would never see anything approaching happiness again, and I have. I'm content, I like my life, I like my husband and family, I'm not working right now but when I am I like my work and I'm good at it, I like the things I'm reading and learning, I like my friends, I have hobbies, I can get out of bed and go places, I can make deadlines - all things I sincerely doubted would ever be possible for a very long time. So while I think I could be happier - my husband is happy in a way I can't come close to understanding - I can't complain. I spent a decade of my life thinking I'd never reach this emotional state, so if it takes me another decade or more to reach greater than this, okay.

That paragraph makes me sound way more zen about my emotions than I often am. I'm really not chill at all, lol.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Am I happy? Yes. I beat the curse of my bio family and managed to have a husband of over 30 years I still love and who loves me and together we have raised a moral, thoughtful and hardworking son. I have developed a really bad case of arthritis, but I am fortunate to have access to a great doctor and a can afford {or my insurance co can} treatment. Other than that I have good health, so that weighs in the balance.

I'd like to have more money {and more bling}, but on the whole I am a happy person, grateful for what I have.

I derive great happiness from my family and friends. I'd like to weigh less than I do now, but it's my fault my weight is not what it should be, so I can't complain.

 

[Victoria10]

While it is impossible to happy 100% of time, generally I am happy. My husband and I were discussing this today. He is in Korea. It is rough, but we both have each others support and just a phone call away. We were discussing how happy we are going to places, just sitting in each others company without talking. Sometimes we do know what the other is thinking and it is a total calmness, feeling of content. A calmness that we are currently not experiencing because we are apart, but when we are back on the phone or video chat it does return and we are laughing and enjoying again. We have been together for a very long time, actually friends first, and I happily, patiently await his return.

In the meantime, I am enjoying my summer with the kids/dog and thankful everyday I have them. Even on the rough days. We are currently rejoicing and getting back to normal routines since my middle child last surgery was success. So focus is have fun summer for them and my poor dog who is missing her daddy.

Hi Missy, I hope you feel better soon and good health your way with haste!

 

[LLJsmom]

If there are times I am not, I know I am the onLy one standing in the way. I just need to let go of stuff and not be so high strung and controlling. Accept and love people without judging. Otherwise I am happy. Content and at peace may be better words.

 

[momhappy]

I'm generally happy, but lately, there have been certain things that have been harder to deal with that have made it more difficult.

 

[ihy138]

I would describe myself as content, at peace. I see happiness as moments of joy/euphoria, which are less frequent. Things that make me content - my husband, family, pup, friends, jewels, waffles. My job makes me feel a sense of achievement. Dreaming about what the future holds makes me feel hopeful. I would like to improve upon a few things. I'd like to be healthier/in better shape. I would like to be more productive around the house. I'd like to travel more. I'd like to be nicer to people. It's a work in progress.

 

[azstonie]

I've been watching this thread.

I've been wrestling with regrets the past 7 years. I do not recommend regret, it's lethal. I can't bypass it because I'm processing FOO damage and I have to take responsibility for what's mine.

I'm learning to go lightly with it. That helps a lot. I do have happy moments and longer, and I'm grateful for those.

 

[packrat]

Mostly, I guess. I do a good enough job tamping it down when I am unhappy that no one really notices, and if they do, I can smile and put it to being tired. People don't want to hear that you're unhappy, especially if it has to do w/them, so they believe you.

What makes me happy are my kids. Being a mom. Our yard. There are days I walk thru our front/back yard 20 times just b/c it feels good to look at and think what else we could do out there. That's how JD used to decompress when he worked at Tyson. He'd come home in the middle of the night and instead of sitting in front of the tv to unwind he would walk around outside (we used to have solar lights) and just..you just absorb the healing/soothing vibes of the plants. My kitties make me happy. Clementine has my heart and she knows it. During the summer it's nothing for me to wake up at 6 and Clem just "knows" so she'll come in and snuggle, flop around on my head, rub her nose all over my face, deposit cat hair all over me..and we'll spend two hours like that before I get up. JD makes me happy-we have a good relationship. My brother makes me happy, tho I don't see him often. My lead teacher should be having her baby any day now, and *that* makes me happy-snuggly baby time heck yeah! My job, for the most part!, makes me happy- love the kids.

What would make me happier...some of it is a big circle, and I know that it's up to me to start trying to fix it. Hard to go against the circle. Feeling like I mattered more to my family, that would make me happier.

 

[iLander]

I am happy, and here are my basic requirements to be happy:

Be upright

Be sucking air

That's pretty much it.

I also realize that there a millions of people in the world for whom my life, simple as it is, is a dream come true.

I have a house with clean running water, food to eat, temperature control. That's crazy great.

I'm not addicted to a drug, I'm in decent health (both mental and physical), my family is great, I have a man that loves me, and children to care for. No one is in the hospital right now. That's verging on ridiculously awesome.

I have a reasonable job, I can pay my bills, I don't have to live from paycheck to paycheck. That's just ludicrously fantastic.

I can afford to pay my kids' college expenses, I have two (!) running cars, I have health insurance! I am lucky beyond all belief.

I could go on and on, counting my blessings. Which I often do. I'm the luckiest woman in the whole damn world.

So yeah, I'm happy.

 

[ihy138]

I am happy, and here are my basic requirements to be happy:

Be upright

Be sucking air

That's pretty much it.

I also realize that there a millions of people in the world for whom my life, simple as it is, is a dream come true.

I have a house with clean running water, food to eat, temperature control. That's crazy great.

I'm not addicted to a drug, I'm in decent health (both mental and physical), my family is great, I have a man that loves me, and children to care for. No one is in the hospital right now. That's verging on ridiculously awesome.

I have a reasonable job, I can pay my bills, I don't have to live from paycheck to paycheck. That's just ludicrously fantastic.

I can afford to pay my kids' college expenses, I have two (!) running cars, I have health insurance! I am lucky beyond all belief.

I could go on and on, counting my blessings. Which I often do. I'm the luckiest woman in the whole damn world.

So yeah, I'm happy.

Wonderfully put.

 

[jordyonbass]

For the most part I would say yes. There are a few things happening in my life (or not happening) that I would like to try and change; my career is moving a little slower right now than I was hoping for, I'm not seeing my friends as much as I probably should and my house is a drop-in free hotel for my wife's teenage siblings 4 or 5 days per week which is getting on my nerves.

But the glass is half full, I've just celebrated 12 months without a cigarette as well as the first wedding anniversary with my wife, I'm doing a fair bit of fishing and hunting and I am involved with the local music scene at the moment with gigs lined up at some of Melbourne's most popular bars. I'm sure if I was working a high paying, long hours job or seeing my mates all the time then I would be feeling unhappy that I'm not fishing/hunting or playing music as much as I should be

I really shouldn't complain about the whole career thing either; a couple years ago I was out of work, couldn't access any kind of benefits and was desperate for any kind of job I could get.

 

[stracci2000]

For the most part I would say yes. There are a few things happening in my life (or not happening) that I would like to try and change; my career is moving a little slower right now than I was hoping for, I'm not seeing my friends as much as I probably should and my house is a drop-in free hotel for my wife's teenage siblings 4 or 5 days per week which is getting on my nerves.

But the glass is half full, I've just celebrated 12 months without a cigarette as well as the first wedding anniversary with my wife, I'm doing a fair bit of fishing and hunting and I am involved with the local music scene at the moment with gigs lined up at some of Melbourne's most popular bars. I'm sure if I was working a high paying, long hours job or seeing my mates all the time then I would be feeling unhappy that I'm not fishing/hunting or playing music as much as I should be

I really shouldn't complain about the whole career thing either; a couple years ago I was out of work, couldn't access any kind of benefits and was desperate for any kind of job I could get.

Congratulations Jordy, that's wonderful!!!

 

[jordyonbass]

Thanks Stracci!!

It's amazing how much lighter my chest and heavier my pocket feel now

 

[Mayk]

I am happy. But along the way some mistakes and mis-steps. Forgiving yourself and using those events to learn from help lift the spirits. No one is perfect. Happiness is a journey not a destination.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Following on from the "do you have a happy marriage?" thread

What could you change that would make you happier?

Find me a sugar MaMa or Marry a rich woman!...

 

[VapidLapid]

I am not happy

Tears well up in my eyes and run down my face in the most inappropriate times. I never got over losing my alter ego, so I am ill-equipped for losing my best friend, though it is immanent.
I'm sorry, this is not what you started this thread for.
Don't mind me

 

[GliderPoss]

Great thread. I agree wholeheartedly with iLander - I am truly blessed.

I have a well-paid job, a large comfortable home to rent, 2 beautiful furbabies and a loving husband of a decade. My own parents and sisters are nothing but loving and supportive of us both. We enjoy many pleasures in life - we eat out often, play golf weekly, enjoy movies and shopping without counting every cent. We are both young and relatively healthy. It is more than most of the world could dream off and I try to always keep that in mind.

Of course there are always things that might make us happier - our own home, a child, more travel, more time with friends, more money but overall I cannot complain!

 

[4ever]

I am not happy

Tears well up in my eyes and run down my face in the most inappropriate times. I never got over losing my alter ego, so I am ill-equipped for losing my best friend, though it is immanent.
I'm sorry, this is not what you started this thread for.
Don't mind me

Hi Vapid. I started this thread because I have known people who live life going through the motions of existing without stopping to check that they are happy with the paths they are taking and the choices they are making, because in the end I want to look back and be content with how I have lived and I want that for the people I love as well. I know that things can happen which are totally outside of our control, we can only control how we react to those things. In the end, most of us here are in the very fortunate position to choose a life which will make us happy, we just need to figure out what is going to do that and then be willing to do what it takes to make that happen.
I hope things change for the better for you soon.

As for me, I can finally say that I am happy.
I was horribly depressed for all of my teenage years and subsequently have suffered from anxiety issues, but as I get older I have found that with some work the good days start outnumbering the bad, until the bad days feel like they belong to a different person, something 10 years ago I would have sworn would never happen! My husband makes me happy and I really like my job, I am happy with my health and I'm happy working on improving our house.
I could be happier if I had more/closer friends. I find that I have difficulty sharing/ being vulnerable so my friendships often never becoming very close or meaningful. I am working on sharing more of myself with people so I can improve the quality of my friendships.
I am working on worrying less and letting things go, not harbouring regrets.
I also decided that If I found out I would die tomorrow, my biggest regret would be not having had kids, so we're also started trying to conceive - a bit of a risky move happiness wise but we will see how it goes and take our chances

 

[lknvrb4]

I am finally happy. I was a stay at home Mom for many years and while I loved being home to raise my children, I was always missing something. I finally work outside of the home and have a job that challenges me daily so that I am never bored. I am busier now but I would not trade it for anything. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband and he is my partner and best friend. I am thankful for my three blessings that are my children and even though we are getting to that cranky teenager stage, I know I am grateful. I look around and see all the evil in this world and realize how many blessings I am given on a daily basis.

 

[missy]

I am not happy

Tears well up in my eyes and run down my face in the most inappropriate times. I never got over losing my alter ego, so I am ill-equipped for losing my best friend, though it is immanent.
I'm sorry, this is not what you started this thread for.
Don't mind me

(((HUGS))) to you Vapid.

 

[Laila619]

I don't think so, no.

It's very stressful being a stay at home mom to four small kids. The youngest cries all day long and I can never out him down.

DH and I fight a lot about stupid stuff. I eat a lot of junk and have gained weight.

 

[chrono]

I am happy, and here are my basic requirements to be happy:
Be upright
Be sucking air
That's pretty much it.
I also realize that there a millions of people in the world for whom my life, simple as it is, is a dream come true.
I have a house with clean running water, food to eat, temperature control. That's crazy great.
I'm not addicted to a drug, I'm in decent health (both mental and physical), my family is great, I have a man that loves me, and children to care for. No one is in the hospital right now. That's verging on ridiculously awesome.
I have a reasonable job, I can pay my bills, I don't have to live from paycheck to paycheck. That's just ludicrously fantastic.
I can afford to pay my kids' college expenses, I have two (!) running cars, I have health insurance! I am lucky beyond all belief.
I could go on and on, counting my blessings. Which I often do. I'm the luckiest woman in the whole damn world.
So yeah, I'm happy.

Ditto iLander's post except I'm not that exuberant. All the above makes me content. I am not satisfied because if I were, I would stagnate and never strive to improve myself. Happiness comes and goes, so I am not overly concerned with everlasting happiness.

To those going through a rough time, please don't forget to care for yourselves, especially VL, Laila, and Missy.

 

[aljdewey]

I am happy, and I have to say that I really loved iLander's post, because it underscores why I think I'm happy.

For me, overall happiness is a choice....or more accurately, a series of choices. It's clear from iLander's post that she chooses to focus on all the good in her life and let those things set the tone for her happiness, and that's a key element for me, too. I choose to emphasize the good and let that feed my energy - that's the primary choice. Being grateful for my good job; grateful for my husband; grateful for my close family and close friendships, etc.

Secondary choices would be evaluating things in my life that have the potential to diminish my happiness. I tend to separate those into two groups - those I have the power to actively influence or change, and those that I cannot change and have to find peace with. Choosing to let go of unhealthy or toxic relationships would be an example of the first - I have the power to change some of the things that can make me unhappy. The loss of my dog would be an example of the second - I cannot change it, but I can choose to focus on the joy he brought to me for the many years I had him, and how lucky I was to be his human.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I am not happy

Tears well up in my eyes and run down my face in the most inappropriate times. I never got over losing my alter ego, so I am ill-equipped for losing my best friend, though it is immanent.
I'm sorry, this is not what you started this thread for.
Don't mind me

{{{ }}} to you. I'm sorry about your situation and wish you nothing but peace and love.