Gays and Lesbians and wedding traditions ...

[Gypsy]

They should do whatever they darn well please. Mix traditions or create new ones. Personally, I'd like to see something fresh and new that carries significance to each couple rather than same old tired traditions currently in play.

This.

This is what we did. I don't see why it makes a difference if the couple is homosexual or heterosexual.

Do what makes sense for me.

I hated the garter thing. Didn't have it.

We saw each other before our vows because we had photography session. It was very special because it was just the two of us (and the photographers in the background).

As for family attendance. We didn't have sides. Seemed silly as my family was local and his was from across the country. So my side was huge in comparison.

I didn't toss my bouquet. I don't like that tradition either.

And no one carried anyone.

My husband did propose though. And that worked for us. Which is what matters.

Do what makes sense for your relationship. It doesn't matter what anyone else does. Or what anyone else thinks.

 

[Niel]

Sure individuals vary, but how do you think same-gender couples will or should do the following? ...

Usually the guy proposes to the gal with a ring.
I bought the ring for myself and he proposed to me
Garter belt tossing?
didn't do it.
Which side does which family sit on?
didn't do if
Who cannot see whom's special clothing before the wedding?
we saw each other before the ceremony
Should the heavier one just carry the lighter one over the threshold?
didn't do it
Who tosses the bouquet?
didn't do it
What other marriage traditions are usually gender specific and how should gays and lesbians do it?
Perhaps they should do things by age ... the older one does X but the younger one does Y.

Discuss.



... and do yo think Emily Post, or whoever does this today, will write etiquette stuff for these new marriage candidates?

I guess my point is, as they aren't really required traditions anyways, I can't imagine anyone who goes to a wedding will really expect anything or care. Also, if one of the betrothed do care,they'll probably make sure its done the way they want

 

[packrat]

It's funny, the whole "don't see each other before the wedding thing"--around here, *everyone* sees their soon-to-be before the wedding b/c that's when pictures are done. If there's a "cocktail hour" (which there was at one of the weddings we went to Saturday), it's b/c the bridal party is out driving around town, honking and getting crazy..or on the party bus, drinking.

JD and I didn't live together so we didn't spend the night together. My Man of Honor brother caught my bouquet.

 

[msop04]

Sure individuals vary, but how do you think same-gender couples will or should do the following? ...

Usually the guy proposes to the gal with a ring.
I bought the ring for myself and he proposed to me **he bought the rock and I bought my setting and both of our bands**
Garter belt tossing?
didn't do it. **didn't even wear a garter, much less care about tossing one**
Which side does which family sit on?
didn't do if **there were no assigned seats**
Who cannot see whom's special clothing before the wedding?
we saw each other before the ceremony **we didn't see each other, but not on purpose -- he got ready in his mom's room, but only as a convenience for HIM (too much going on in our room)**
Should the heavier one just carry the lighter one over the threshold?
didn't do it **HA! right...**
Who tosses the bouquet?
didn't do it **didn't do it -- couldn't take my bouquet back into the states and didn't have one at our reception**
What other marriage traditions are usually gender specific and how should gays and lesbians do it?
Perhaps they should do things by age ... the older one does X but the younger one does Y.

Discuss.



... and do yo think Emily Post, or whoever does this today, will write etiquette stuff for these new marriage candidates?

I guess my point is, as they aren't really required traditions anyways, I can't imagine anyone who goes to a wedding will really expect anything or care. Also, if one of the betrothed do care,they'll probably make sure its done the way they want

HA!! This! It's a definite "make it your own" these days! (and I love it!)

 

[msop04]

Msop04, Your kiss on the beach picture is one of my all time favorite wedding pictures! It's such a beautiful picture. You were a gorgeous bride.

Thanks so much, Calliecake!!

 

[december-fire]

Msop04, thank you for sharing your beautiful wedding photos! Like Calliecake, I love your shared kiss on the beach photo! It captures that this was about two people and the love they share for each other.

Couples, gay or straight, should do what is meaningful to them, regardless of whether its considered unique or traditional. I love reading what's been posted about how some couples have celebrated their marriages; the 'Husbands for life' and 'sit anywhere, we're all one family' put a smile on my face.

 

[msop04]

Msop04, thank you for sharing your beautiful wedding photos! Like Calliecake, I love your shared kiss on the beach photo! It captures that this was about two people and the love they share for each other.

Couples, gay or straight, should do what is meaningful to them, regardless of whether its considered unique or traditional. I love reading what's been posted about how some couples have celebrated their marriages; the 'Husbands for life' and 'sit anywhere, we're all one family' put a smile on my face.

You're welcome - weddings should be a celebration of the couple!!

 

[telephone89]

Alot of the new wedding trends I really like. I remember my mom once saying 'he better ask my permission!' and I was like 'uh I'm moved out, we live together, and im not an object that he needs permission to take from you'. I feel the same with being given away.

There are many vomit worthy pintresty wedding things, but something i saw and DID like was a sign that said something like 'pick a seat, not a side. We're all family now!' and I liked that. I really hate the 'brides family on this side, grooms on that side'

I agree! We were married on the beach in Cancun, so only 13 guests... no wedding party, no assigned seats -- all family! After a super short 15 minute ceremony, we all got to eat and drink until we hit the resort's night life -- all together as a family -- good times!! I'm a huge daddy's girl, or I would've opted to walk myself down the aisle -- I wanted to be the center of attention, after all! HA!

shameless sharing of photos... hehehe

You & your photos are stunning! What a beautiful wedding Congrats, and thanks for sharing!

 

[Matata]

We took our honeymoon first in Croatia then hopped a plane to Italy and got married in Rome. I wanted to wear jeans and a t-shirt with a ridiculous amount of diamonds dripping off me. DH, much to my surprise, wanted formal attire so that's what we did. However, he forgot his dress shoes and wore Nikes with his tux. I just watched my feet swell into my strappy little heels.

 

[isaku5]

ITA that same sex weddings could be the most extravagant, beautiful ceremonies ever. Each would be unique .

DH and I have been married for 52 years , but I look back at our wedding and think that we could have had a much more meaningful ceremony if my mother hadn't taken charge of everything.

DH and I wouldn't have wanted 'the garter toss', nor would I have thrown my bouquet. Even at that time (1963) those traditions just seemed silly.

As far as either of us carrying the other over any threshold, or being 'given away', that's just so out of character for both of us.

Yes, we had a celebratory dinner complete with wedding cake, but that was pretty much 'it'. We left to go on our honeymoon about 7pm. Our honeymoon was a weekend stay in a lovely city close to us. By today's standards, that really doesn't count, but for us, everything made a huge statement.

For everyone, make the ceremony 'yours'.

 

[jordyonbass]

Traditional weddings are sooooo played out as well as traditional roles for them, I've been to a few and they're boring for me. That's why when we decided to get married, we decided to strip out the whole tradition of it and do everything our own way. Red dress for my wife, pirate outfits for me, the bestman and groomsman as well as a reception track list that was full of classic rock. We even had one guest say his own son's wedding was boring in comparison, you have to give everyone a reason to remember your wedding!

I can't wait to see some of the same sex weddings to come, they will make my wedding look like a book club gathering