Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these days?

[Jambalaya]

I was just reading reviews of a restaurant that I like, on two different web sites. The reviews were somewhat better on Trip Advisor (approx 200 reviews) than on Yelp (approx 40 reviews.)

I've also read reviews of two gyms that I recently belonged to.

I don't know, it just seems that so many people are really nit-picky about things these days. Is this just the nature of the internet? If you really wanted to criticize you could find something, but basically these gyms and this restaurant, both of which I've known for years, are well-run and well-priced, and both are really nice. While there are plenty of positive reviews of both, there are also many reviews picking the places apart, although I have found them to be consistently very good to excellent. I wouldn't like to be a business owner these days, with all these review sites. Some complaints are justified of course, but many also seem to be from people outraged that they don't received total perfection at all times, so even if they are unreasonable, the business still suffers.

Is it just that we are over-spoiled? In the Fifties people mostly ate at home and probably were thrilled to be eating out in a nice restaurant. So what if the bread isn't quite to your liking or you once noticed a teeny speck of dust in the gym. Our quality of life these days is mainly so much better than 40 years ago. There are so many more options regarding things to do and places to go.

In terms of criticizing others, too, I know two or three people who are forever making pronouncements about the competencies or brain power of others. Years ago I had a boyfriend who was obsessed with pronouncing how intelligent he thought others were, and I have another friend who is always really hard on other people. No one is up to her standards, and she's so superior, don't you know.

So that's how I feel. I think that a substantial number of people are over-critical these days, whether it's food, service, or people around us. I mean, nothing is perfect, you know? Anyone else feel like this? Perhaps I'm just tired of listening to complaints, or reading them when I look at reviews.

 

[kenny]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Yes and yes.

 

[stracci2000]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

I think the internet is the culprit here.
It's just too darn easy to go online and say mean things that you would never say to someone in person.
Hiding behind the keyboard.
In that restaurant, maybe the service wasn't that great. So instead of telling the manager you were unhappy, you go on Yelp and tell the world that the server was slow, stupid and ugly.
As Ellen says, "Be kind to one another"

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

I agree with Stracci. I think it is because of the anonymity of the internet.

 

[MissStepcut]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

I think, in general, people shame less and judge less in person. I think there's a lot more live and let live and meddling in general.

I agree that, over the anonymity of the internet, people vent things they might have kept to themselves before.

 

[Victoria10]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

yes what stracci said, But also it seems in public people are getting passive aggressive with their words. I'm an easy going person and really nice. But it just seems people are picking on anything. I live in one of those highly manicured neighborhoods and my neighbors will nit-pick everyones. It's so upsetting to hear. But we solved that problem by planing to move to country.

 

[marcy]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

As Kenny said - yes and yes.

 

[azstonie]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Kenny X2, yes and yes. Most people are absolutely excruciating to be around, IMHO. "Hell is other people."

 

[Victoria10]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

That was funny azstonie what you said last. I think the country is calling my name more now.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Oh god yes. I am a server. People are BRUTAL in online reviews. Really, you need to write a 4 page epic poem because your server forgot the extra lemon in your water?

 

[azstonie]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

That was funny azstonie what you said last. I think the country is calling my name more now.

Sartre

 

[Paz]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Oh god yes. I am a server. People are BRUTAL in online reviews. Really, you need to write a 4 page epic poem because your server forgot the extra lemon in your water?

I am so glad I was a waitress before the time of internet reviews! You have my respect for tolerating all of the self- involved nitpickers that are out there today.

I also wonder if the increased negativity, especially toward people in the service industry, is due to a lack of empathy in today's youth. When I was a teenager, I worked in retail, was a server, hostess, babysat, and did other jobs related to customer service and helping the public. With the current economic situation, I know that a lot of high school and college students are not able to find work, especially part time jobs in the service sector. How much if their criticism stems from not knowing how hard these jobs really are?

 

[missy]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Kenny X2, yes and yes. Most people are absolutely excruciating to be around, IMHO. "Hell is other people."

I could not agree more. Again, that is why I prefer animals for the most part. People can really be annoying and petty and selfish and behave in ridiculous ways. I am thinking of one such example right now that is sort of annoying me but let's move on. Thinking happy thoughts of furbabies and some of my good PS friends whom I love very much. That makes me happy again.

Here's Bobby saying be happy don't worry. Life is good.

 

[iLander]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

I also wonder if the increased negativity, especially toward people in the service industry, is due to a lack of empathy in today's youth. :

Yes. Plus a lack of humility. Many people get their egos so built up by social media (ooooo, I have 35 twitter followers! ), that they think everyone else is beneath them. Being critical furthers their feeling of superiority.

But there are some posters on PS that seem to post only to be critical (I will NOT mention names). I think they come from a place of insecurity, but they don't even realize it. Deep down, they feel if they criticize others first, no one will criticize them. Their ego is their buffer from reality. I would hate to live with these people.

And many nit-picky people are just looking for something, anything to say. They have nothing valuable to contribute to TripAdvisor or whatever, but they have to post something, so they blow stuff out of proportion.

And don't get me started on how everyone is so "precious" today. Poor things, it must be awful for them. My DD mentioned someone on twitter getting upset because someone called her "ma'am" and she doesn't identify as a female. But she has long hair, makeup, lipstick and dresses like a girl. No outward non-girl indications. So Excuuuuussse us if the bagboy doesn't have time to quiz you on your gender feelings in that split second before he tells you where the frozen waffles are.

To sum it all up, All of these people have one thing in common; they want attention. They have externalized their sense of self, and they are on the slippery slope to hell. If hell is other people, then living in hell is having other people determine how you feel about yourself.

 

[arkieb1]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Yes. The internet is blessing and a curse. You can tell someone every facet of your life, such as, what you ate, who you ate it with and how much you liked or disliked it, in a click and a nanosecond. How many of us have cringed at oversharing of all sorts of things on facebook etc...

On the flip side of that I can talk or email in real time someone who I enjoy talking to in another part of the world in a click and a nanosecond. I can look up and enjoy photos taken by a guy I went to school with who runs a company that takes the most breathtaking photos of hard to access places around the world.

And being overly critical well, if I am being honest we have more information thrown at us so therefore more to be critical about. Once again this is both a blessing and a curse.

 

[marymm]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Me, I don't think people are more critical now than in the past - I do think there are many more mediums in which to express opinion, negative and positive - for sure if you go looking for opinions/personal expressions by others (social media, vendor/product reviews, etc.), you will likely find more than you bargained for - and I don't think the majority of the opinions would be any different if those people stood in a line outside your door each waiting to deliver his/her comments in person to you.

 

[azstonie]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Regarding service related industries: My DH never had employment in which customer service was a necessity. He didn't understand that the employees at grocery stores, wait staff, etc., who interacted with him were told what to say, when to say it, and to be as FRIENDLY and subservient as possible! So he would project a grumpy kind of buzz off attitude when confronted with cheery customer service and I told him Hey, It's not PERSONAL, they HAVE TO make small talk with you because some corporate nitwit tells them they must or suffer the consequences.

That was an eye opener to him. Now he has a some empathy and plays along

 

[OreoRosies86]

Re: Do you ever feel that people are over-critical these day

Regarding service related industries: My DH never had employment in which customer service was a necessity. He didn't understand that the employees at grocery stores, wait staff, etc., who interacted with him were told what to say, when to say it, and to be as FRIENDLY and subservient as possible! So he would project a grumpy kind of buzz off attitude when confronted with cheery customer service and I told him Hey, It's not PERSONAL, they HAVE TO make small talk with you because some corporate nitwit tells them they must or suffer the consequences.

That was an eye opener to him. Now he has a some empathy and plays along

This is probably true of many places. However most servers and bartenders who find themselves in a top level establishment are there because they truly love and and appreciate the dying art of hospitality. Unfortunately the people we have to interact with now won't even look up from their phone long enough to read the menu, or answer with anything but a drink order when you try to tell them your name. They demand excellence but take no part in the experience. I am glad I am actively in school after many years of not having the opportunity to do so. This is not something I would want to do as anything but a means to an end anymore.

I believe that internet and ability to be anonymous gives people a platform to be cruel to the easy targets. Why, I don't know.