What is Mothers Day like for you?

[luv2sparkle]

I am with you Mayk, but I have a son, 18 and pain in the backside. My experience is with boys, they have to get past 25 to get a brain again. My daughter took less time. My son just told me, that he had a card for me but I seemed so upset he didn't give it to me. Good plan kid, you'll go far.....

Hugs to you and hoping that things change with your birth mother. Stress can magnify feelings, I can attest to that. Especially when it involves your kids. So glad your hubby indulges your love for fresh flowers! I am a fan of Costco's roses especially. I love the wide array of colors they have.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Mother's Day is a little weird for me, since I haven't had a relationship with my own mother in 8 years. Long story that I don't want to get into here, but basically it's just me and my sister. My sis has kids (I have kitties), so I always try to make her feel special. This year I sent her flowers and Shari's Berries (she lives 2 states away). My MIL lives about an hour away, so DH and I always go to her house or his brother's house for Mother's Day and we have dinner/dessert, etc, and just hang out.

That sounds like a pretty good day to me Lil Misfit! So sweet of you to honor your sister!

 

[azstonie]

I feel ya, lil misfit. There is a forum upon which I lurk called Out of the Fog (fog=fear/obligation/guilt). It might provide you support should you need it, going No Contact is incomprehensible to a lot of people...

 

[NOYFB]

I feel ya, lil misfit. There is a forum upon which I lurk called Out of the Fog (fog=fear/obligation/guilt). It might provide you support should you need it, going No Contact is incomprehensible to a lot of people...

Thanks. I appreciate that. Fortunately for me, I don't feel fear, obligation or guilt when it comes to my mother. I don't have any feelings toward her at all, actually. It's a totally different situation than what people generally think about when one says they don't have a relationship with their mother. Without getting into too much detail, she's an evil person who tried to take my sister's children away from her for no reason other than her own selfishness. As a result, I protect and take care of my sister, niece and nephew like nobody else!

 

[azstonie]

Luv2, what an amazing card, and the feeling and sentiment that comes with it Muy Bueno!

 

[random_thought]

It's a mix of emotions. On one hand, I'm blessed to have my son. On the other hand, it reminds me of my infertility and how I haven't been able to conceive a second child in 4 years. On the third hand (that I don't have, my foot I guess), I am reminded of my upcoming would've been due date on May 24th, but I lost that child. It's a fairly rough yet joyous day.

 

[azstonie]

I feel ya, lil misfit. There is a forum upon which I lurk called Out of the Fog (fog=fear/obligation/guilt). It might provide you support should you need it, going No Contact is incomprehensible to a lot of people...

Thanks. I appreciate that. Fortunately for me, I don't feel fear, obligation or guilt when it comes to my mother. I don't have any feelings toward her at all, actually. It's a totally different situation than what people generally think about when one says they don't have a relationship with their mother. Without getting into too much detail, she's an evil person who tried to take my sister's children away from her for no reason other than her own selfishness. As a result, I protect and take care of my sister, niece and nephew like nobody else!

Good going and you are an awesome sib and auntie!

 

[KaeKae]

Mother's Day was hard for me for a long time, because we lost my mom when I was 13. It wasn't terrible, but...empty?

When I got married, we got together with DH's family/mom, but I let him take the lead.

Once I became a Mom (DD1 is 19) it had meaning for me again. We keep it simple. Small gifts, flowers, dinner made for me or out. Similar to how my family celebrated, actually.

 

[lioness]

I'm a single mom, my kids are little and my ex is insane, so we take care of Mother's Day on our own. FI had flowers delivered to me the day before, so the girls oohed and ahhed and teased me. On Sunday, they made me handwritten cards. We were lucky to get a table at our favorite Indian restaurant with no reservation. We ate, I paid. The waiter brought me a flower. We went to their favorite bookstore, at their request. The fact that they love to read make me happier than any gift could, except for a 2ct+ AVC.

It was not the most exciting day in my life, but every night that I can got to sleep without that monster beside me, in our home, is a triumph. I love Mother's Day because my girls know who has fought to protect them from further abuse.

 

[Mayk]

I'm a single mom, my kids are little and my ex is insane, so we take care of Mother's Day on our own. FI had flowers delivered to me the day before, so the girls oohed and ahhed and teased me. On Sunday, they made me handwritten cards. We were lucky to get a table at our favorite Indian restaurant with no reservation. We ate, I paid. The waiter brought me a flower. We went to their favorite bookstore, at their request. The fact that they love to read make me happier than any gift could, except for a 2ct+ AVC.

It was not the most exciting day in my life, but every night that I can got to sleep without that monster beside me, in our home, is a triumph. I love Mother's Day because my girls know who has fought to protect them from further abuse.

I'm so happy for you! Sounds like the perfect day!

 

[luv2sparkle]

I am amazed and humbled by the women who have posted in this thread. The pain and hurt you have struggled with, and the strength you exhibit is incredible. You are all such strong and valiant women. I know you wouldn't say that about yourselves because you are doing what you have to do with the situations life has given you-there is not a great amount of choice sometimes in your perseverance. But, you are awesome. You make a difference. You may not see the results of the love and the sacrifices you make just yet, but you change lives. Like a stone thrown in a pond, the ripples your actions make will go on for decades.

Thank you so much for sharing.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

MayK- I didn't know you were adopted; so was I (and so was one of my kids). I'm actually very close to finding my birth family (they think they've identified them, but we're awaiting DNA results from both sides).

 

[Mayk]

MayK- I didn't know you were adopted; so was I (and so was one of my kids). I'm actually very close to finding my birth family (they think they've identified them, but we're awaiting DNA results from both sides).

Good Luck. It really helps close some long time open ended questions... For me for 20 years it was great and then I was in the hospital with DD for 16 days and came home to months of rehab very stressed and 10 lbs lighter, trying to return to work and balance DD's rehaband I needed help. She had airline tickets to come but never came and kept putting it off and I was hurt. I snapped at her and she snapped at me and that was it... She's still in contact with DD, was in the room the day she was born. So at least my DD has a grandmother.

 

[Calliecake]

Mother's Day was difficult for quite a few years for me. The first Mother's Day after I was told I would never be able to have a child was the worst. I remember shopping the Saturday before that year and hearing have a Happy Mother's Day at every store. I sat in the car and cried for 20 minutes before being able to drive.

My husband and I got a puppy a few years ago and my husband now makes a big deal out of Mother's Day getting me a present and a card from her every year. I know it's nuts but I have to admit it makes me so happy every year.

Lil Misfit, Your sister is so lucky to have you as her sister!

 

[aviastar]

Mother's Day was difficult for quite a few years for me. The first Mother's Day after I was told I would never be able to have a child was the worst. I remember shopping the Saturday before that year and hearing have a Happy Mother's Day at every store. I sat in the car and cried for 20 minutes before being able to drive.

My husband and I got a puppy a few years ago and my husband now makes a big deal out of Mother's Day getting me a present and a card from her every year. I know it's nuts but I have to admit it makes me so happy every year.

Lil Misfit, Your sister is so lucky to have you as her sister!

It's a mix of emotions. On one hand, I'm blessed to have my son. On the other hand, it reminds me of my infertility and how I haven't been able to conceive a second child in 4 years. On the third hand (that I don't have, my foot I guess), I am reminded of my upcoming would've been due date on May 24th, but I lost that child. It's a fairly rough yet joyous day.

Ladies, I thought about you (the collective you) all day on Sunday. Random knows my story, but suffice to say I feel your pain. I tried to come up with words that celebrate without exclusion and the best I could come up with it that Motherhood is a calling of compassion, of sacrifice, of love, but not only one of blood and the bearing of children. I want to celebrate all the women who mother their students, their gardens, their fur babies, their communities, their extended families.

It can be such a bittersweet day and I am so grateful for all the mothers in my life, not just the ones who bore me and my husband, and for the opportunity to finally carry a child that I just can't muster the energy to feel badly when it's mostly just like other days. I spent the day in contemplation working my garden, thankful we have the chance to be the shepherds of many growing things in this life.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Callicake, I don't think it's nuts at all. I think it is wonderful. Your DH is a sweet sweet man to want to bring such joy to your heart. (hugs).

Aviastar, I so agree with you. You don't have to be a mother to make a difference. These women make a difference because of who they are. Compassion, sacrifice and love come from hearts not from bearing children.

 

[momhappy]

Mother's Day was difficult for quite a few years for me. The first Mother's Day after I was told I would never be able to have a child was the worst. I remember shopping the Saturday before that year and hearing have a Happy Mother's Day at every store. I sat in the car and cried for 20 minutes before being able to drive.

My husband and I got a puppy a few years ago and my husband now makes a big deal out of Mother's Day getting me a present and a card from her every year. I know it's nuts but I have to admit it makes me so happy every year.

Lil Misfit, Your sister is so lucky to have you as her sister!

It's not nuts at all. My DH and I have been lucky enough to find two couples who have become our best friends (the 6 of us have so much fun just hanging out together). DH and I are the only ones that have kids, but the other two couples both have dogs (that they treat like children ). On mothers day, I sent both the wives a text and wished them a happy mothers day - to two of the best dog mommies I know! Moms of fur babies deserve some love too

 

[Kaleigh]

Mine is a mixed blessing.

Divorce has been hard on my adult kids. This mother's day was awesome. They really made me smile and we had a great time.
The past two since separating have been kind of tough. I don't like to discuss what is going on as I feel that's a parenting 101 fail...

My ex loves to drag the kids into it and it has been very hard on them...

My mother figure in my life was my grandmother and she died on Mother's day... So it was fitting as she was my Mom but hard as I still miss her so.

BUT am truly blessed to have my kids and my SO and great friends...

My heart goes out to you all, very tough...

 

[bbziggy]

Oh Luv2sparkle, I''m so sorry your Mother's Day wasn't what you would have wanted. I think kids and husbands can be so clueless sometimes! Hopefully when the kids become parents themselves they will finally realize how important the occasions are. Not the monitory gifts , but the sentimental gestures and thoughtfulness. Husbands can use a good talking to.Maybe next year they will get it right. Hugs

 

[luv2sparkle]

Kaleigh, I am so glad your mothers day was a blessing this year, yet I am sad for all you have had to go through. I have often thought about you and wondered how you were doing. Hopefully, you will be through this difficult part soon and things will start to be bright again.

bbziggy, thank you. I am doing well now. Reading everyones stories makes me realize how really trivial my complaints are. Not that I am not still really ticked off, I am, but I can live with it. Frankly, I should be used to it, and I am kind of mad at myself that I just can't 'get over it'. My family thinks I am messed up and probably a b*$#@h. But this sensitivity comes from years of this with DH. DD is still not speaking to me. I had intended to apologize and explain but the more I thought about it I was angry that she couldn't give me the benefit of the doubt for one minute that something else was going on. I have really been there for her for many years both emotionally and financially. I am not sure how that is going to go.

 

[NOYFB]

Mother's Day was difficult for quite a few years for me. The first Mother's Day after I was told I would never be able to have a child was the worst. I remember shopping the Saturday before that year and hearing have a Happy Mother's Day at every store. I sat in the car and cried for 20 minutes before being able to drive.

My husband and I got a puppy a few years ago and my husband now makes a big deal out of Mother's Day getting me a present and a card from her every year. I know it's nuts but I have to admit it makes me so happy every year.

Lil Misfit, Your sister is so lucky to have you as her sister!

The beginning of your post made me so sad, but then I read the second part and was delighted that your DH is such an awesome guy! Can you post a pic of your pup?

 

[Imdanny]

I think that holidays are really hard for alot of people. Many, many people do not have relationships with their family members for whatever reason. Mother's and Father's Day just make them feel worse.
I used to work in retail with a lady whose daughter was murdered, and another died of a drug overdose. I felt really bad when customers would wish her a happy Mother's Day.
I have a friend whose son died in a motorcycle accident. I cringe to think about how he must feel on Father's Day.
TV commercials and advertising force feed us this sugar-coated image of happy families dancing in meadows, when very few of us have this reality.

Thank you, Stracci2000. My mother was diagnosed with lung and brain caincer (and a large cancerous mass near her spine causing it damage) and died three weeks later. She was only 65 and had just retired 6 months before she was diagnosed. She died last year at 3:30 AM the night after Mothers Day. Since Mothers Day falls on different dates, today, May 12 was the actual first anniversary of her death. It was a very somber day for me, but as you can imagine, I associate Mothers Day with the death of my mother as well as the actual date. Mothers Day was a day of mourning for me this year and it will be for the rest of my life. I appreciate your post reminding us all that Mothers Day isn't always the perfect day everyone likes to think of it as being, for whatever reason or reasons.

 

[Calliecake]

I think that holidays are really hard for alot of people. Many, many people do not have relationships with their family members for whatever reason. Mother's and Father's Day just make them feel worse.
I used to work in retail with a lady whose daughter was murdered, and another died of a drug overdose. I felt really bad when customers would wish her a happy Mother's Day.
I have a friend whose son died in a motorcycle accident. I cringe to think about how he must feel on Father's Day.
TV commercials and advertising force feed us this sugar-coated image of happy families dancing in meadows, when very few of us have this reality.

Thank you, Stracci2000. My mother was diagnosed with lung and brain caincer (and a large cancerous mass near her spine causing it damage) and died three weeks later. She was only 65 and had just retired 6 months before she was diagnosed. She died last year at 3:30 AM the night after Mothers Day. Since Mothers Day falls on different dates, today, May 12 was the actual first anniversary of her death. It was a very somber day for me, but as you can imagine, I associate Mothers Day with the death of my mother as well as the actual date. Mothers Day was a day of mourning for me this year and it will be for the rest of my life. I appreciate your post reminding us all that Mothers Day isn't always the perfect day everyone likes to think of it as being, for whatever reason or reasons.

I am so so sorry ImDanny.

 

[Imdanny]

Calliecake, thank you.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Danny, I am so sorry. There are not even words to cover it.