What is Mothers Day like for you?

[luv2sparkle]

Does your husband/family plan something special for you or is it kind of planned on the fly?

Do you feel appreciated and loved on the day?

Does their effort mirror your own on Father's Day and the kids Birthdays?

 

[TooPatient]

I do a sort of Day Before Mothers Day with my mom & grandma & grandpa. Sort of informal. I show up with cards for mom & grandma and spend some time with everyone. Yesterday was 4+ hours of heavy yard work.

Other than that, I remind "A" to get a card for her mother.

Today I am doing study for school and doing some work trying to promote our pedometer app. Nothing special.

I have never gotten a card. Never had any recognition on the day. Nothing. (To be fair to DH, his ex would go batty if "A" even so much as got me a step-mother card.... although she herself brought me a rose today )

I go visit my grandmother a day early because 6 years or so ago I was told that Mothers Day is for being with your mother and I had "stolen" her mother away and it wasn't fair so now she wanted time alone with her mother. I was specifically told I was not welcome. (so my mom & aunt spend the day with grandma and I'm not welcome)
Just don't have the energy to see how people feel now. I suspect the others would be shocked to hear of what the one said to me but I really don't feel like being there if there is anyone who doesn't want me there.

So I go a day early and have my special time with Grandma. Since my mother lives in their driveway, I see her too.


(I know that sounds sad, but it is actually okay. I had a lot of fun yesterday!)

 

[momhappy]

My husband and kids *say* it's my special day, but nothing much changes from any other day. I got a card, some OJ & Prosecco (for mimosas), and we went out to dinner. My husband and one of the kids made pancakes this morning and I was left to clean up the mess My husband spent most of the day power washing, which has made his body ache, so he's been relaxing on the couch. To be honest, I'm sorta bummed that more of a fuss isn't made over me, but it was a good weekend overall, so it's tough to complain.

 

[stracci2000]

I think that holidays are really hard for alot of people. Many, many people do not have relationships with their family members for whatever reason. Mother's and Father's Day just make them feel worse.
I used to work in retail with a lady whose daughter was murdered, and another died of a drug overdose. I felt really bad when customers would wish her a happy Mother's Day.
I have a friend whose son died in a motorcycle accident. I cringe to think about how he must feel on Father's Day.
TV commercials and advertising force feed us this sugar-coated image of happy families dancing in meadows, when very few of us have this reality.

 

[luv2sparkle]

TooPatient, I am glad you had a good day yesterday, but am sorry that your mom makes it so hard. My daughter is mad a me today as well. She wanted to come over with her fiancé and drop off flowers and I asked her not to. Frankly, I just couldn't handle it this morning. When the day starts and it is obvious there are no plans, I have a hard time holding back the tears. My husband makes a half hearted effort. He asked if I wanted to go with Daughter and fiancé to lunch at Mimi's. I said no, because I really dislike Mimi's and the last time we went there for a Mother's Day brunch, it didn't turn out so well. Does it ever occur to DH that i might like to go somewhere I actually like?

Momhappy, I have often wished that the fam would make me breakfast but it never happened. They remember it's Mothers Day usually about 10 am, and I have been up for hours by then. I wouldn't appreciate doing the dishes either.

My 18 year old told me he had gone shopping for Mothers Day but I haven't seen a thing. I tried to give my DH a break this year and tell him exactly what I wanted way early. A couple of days ago, he said "oh I have to get the info on that thing you wanted for Mother's Day. I told him to forget it. It might have arrived next week sometime.

I really hope there is someone out there who had a awesome day, and their family made them feel so special. I would love to hear their stories and live vicariously through them!

 

[TooPatient]

TooPatient, I am glad you had a good day yesterday, but am sorry that your mom makes it so hard. My daughter is mad a me today as well. She wanted to come over with her fiancé and drop off flowers and I asked her not to. Frankly, I just couldn't handle it this morning. When the day starts and it is obvious there are no plans, I have a hard time holding back the tears. My husband makes a half hearted effort. He asked if I wanted to go with Daughter and fiancé to lunch at Mimi's. I said no, because I really dislike Mimi's and the last time we went there for a Mother's Day brunch, it didn't turn out so well. Does it ever occur to DH that i might like to go somewhere I actually like?

Momhappy, I have often wished that the fam would make me breakfast but it never happened. They remember it's Mothers Day usually about 10 am, and I have been up for hours by then. I wouldn't appreciate doing the dishes either.

My 18 year old told me he had gone shopping for Mothers Day but I haven't seen a thing. I tried to give my DH a break this year and tell him exactly what I wanted way early. A couple of days ago, he said "oh I have to get the info on that thing you wanted for Mother's Day. I told him to forget it. It might have arrived next week sometime.

I really hope there is someone out there who had a awesome day, and their family made them feel so special. I would love to hear their stories and live vicariously through them!

I'm sorry you had such a rough day. Holidays where you are supposed to have family step in and do special stuff for you are hard. (I include birthdays and others in here too). Some really step up and do great. Others are super busy or away from home and really can't. And then the situations where you just have to try to see the positive... (or plan to be out of the house pampering yourself so you don't have time to be upset!)

I was (shh... I don't want to admit it!) on Facebook today and saw some really great pictures of people with awesome Mother's Day stories to share.

My dad's cousin took a beautiful orchid to his mother and spent the day with her.

A friend of ours spent the day snuggling with her 4 kids (#5 will be here any time) and the dog while her husband cooked breakfast and cleaned and told her how amazing she is and how lucky he is.

I miss my other Grandma. Mother's Day was the last holiday we had with her. We all got together for church and then back to her house for a big family lunch with cake and flowers and all that. EVERYONE was there. I even got my father to get his butt to church. (not usually up before after noon) So she got to have a full day with ALL of her kids and grandkids. She was gone just a few weeks later.

 

[diamondringlover]

It was nothing special...youngest son and hubby had to work, went to my Mom's, did a little shopping and went to lunch. Then back at home I had to do dishes, laundry and cook dinner, my oldest son did come over, we had dinner not much in the way of gifts other than a bottle of wine which we drank lol, youngest got me a small bunch of flowers. Now do I do the same for fathers day, you betcha, what goes around comes around. One good thing about the day I spent some times going thru some old pictures, my youngest son is graduating high school in a couple of weeks and I needed some pictures of when he has youg.

My kids birthdays are always a big thing, but mine is usually pretty much forgotten and has been for years, its right after Christmas. Oh well.

I hope all you Mom's did have a great day

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Mine was nothing particularly special. but we're low-key about such holidays in my house. There was nothing in particular that I wanted to do. My 5 year old woke up at 6, but my husband fended him off until around 8 to let me sleep in. Unfortunately, he underestimated the 7 year old, whom he forgot about and who snuck into the room and spent a lot of time putting blankets on me and covering me up (and walking on the bed too!). Fortunately, after she crept under the covers with me, she was drawing on the ipad and was quiet, so I fell back asleep until 8.

I was presented with cards from DH and the kids (and my son picked out the card because "it was sparkly and had flowers on it" so he knew I would love it). I'd already been given school gifts earlier. DH and I rarely exchange gifts and I'd recently gotten a Victor Canera wedding ring so really, I couldn't expect or ask for anything more. DH went to get bagels, but he does that every Sunday.

The kids got a little whiny and annoying in the afternoon, but people settled down and we had a nice evening with take out (Chipotle for the ladies and Thai for the guys).

 

[NTave]

Im a single parent. I make my own fun. Yesterday I made waffles and bacon for breakfast for the kids(I don't eat waffles), did a little gardening and visiting with my mom, and then headed off to a beach to bike along the coast with my school aged kids. We stopped for a smoothie. My daughter bought me some lotion and spray from bath and body in a scent she picked out for me with her own money and my son made me a beautiful poem at school and a windsock.

We make the day really about enjoying each other, and I put away the regular duties of work, housework, school and just enjoy.

I found it harder when I was married and I felt that my husband didn't do anything to appreciate the day, but once that pressure was off, I have enjoyed it for what it is and I don't have any expectations.

I was hoping to get back last night to make dinner for my mother, but we got stuck in traffic, for hours, so I am celebrating her with dinner tonight. I gave her a braided hibiscus tree and a card as well.

 

[baby monster]

I got a handmade happy "moth" day card from my 4yo . Something happened to "er" at the end. He probably got distracted as usual.

 

[partgypsy]

I've had some bad Mother's day because husband is anti holidays like Mother's day, Valentines day. This one was one of the better ones, where I knew he had to work so nothing expected but he got me a potted plant and also took me and kids to nice outing the day before. That day, both kids made homemade cards and oldest daughter made me breakfast in bed (very sweet; oatmeal with all kinds of add-ins, cut up strawberries, chocolate dipped strawberry, oj, etc.

I think it was also a nicer holiday because he has been so understanding of the ring fiasco (you can search thread about it). I tried to return the Whiteflash ring, and he stopped me, said he doesn't care how long it takes to sell and I might as well enjoy it until it sells. I don't know if he knows what he is getting into, as I warned him I would probably get attached to it and not want to sell, and he shrugged his shoulders. Very uncharacteristic of him.


I feel bad because with husband's sibs, ordered flowers from Teleflora and paid extra to have them to arrive on Saturday for my MIL, and they were never delivered!
Still trying to talk to someone in customer service to cancel order. They are leaving town Friday and it is not worth it to have them delivered late. Next time I am going to either have them delivered earlier, or personally deliver so this does not happen again

 

[partgypsy]

In case anyone wanted to know the company I ordered from is Teleflora, which I THOUGHT was a reputable company. At this point I have tried multiple times to talk to a person so that I can cancel order, but not able to. Very frustrating.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Im a single parent. I make my own fun. Yesterday I made waffles and bacon for breakfast for the kids(I don't eat waffles), did a little gardening and visiting with my mom, and then headed off to a beach to bike along the coast with my school aged kids. We stopped for a smoothie. My daughter bought me some lotion and spray from bath and body in a scent she picked out for me with her own money and my son made me a beautiful poem at school and a windsock.

We make the day really about enjoying each other, and I put away the regular duties of work, housework, school and just enjoy.

I found it harder when I was married and I felt that my husband didn't do anything to appreciate the day, but once that pressure was off, I have enjoyed it for what it is and I don't have any expectations.

I was hoping to get back last night to make dinner for my mother, but we got stuck in traffic, for hours, so I am celebrating her with dinner tonight. I gave her a braided hibiscus tree and a card as well.[/quote


NTave, your day sounds lovely! I hope dinner with your mom is wonderful tonight. I love trees with braided trunks!

 

[luv2sparkle]

It was nothing special...youngest son and hubby had to work, went to my Mom's, did a little shopping and went to lunch. Then back at home I had to do dishes, laundry and cook dinner, my oldest son did come over, we had dinner not much in the way of gifts other than a bottle of wine which we drank lol, youngest got me a small bunch of flowers. Now do I do the same for fathers day, you betcha, what goes around comes around. One good thing about the day I spent some times going thru some old pictures, my youngest son is graduating high school in a couple of weeks and I needed some pictures of when he has youg.

My kids birthdays are always a big thing, but mine is usually pretty much forgotten and has been for years, its right after Christmas. Oh well.

I hope all you Mom's did have a great day

I have spent a lot of Mother's Days with my husband working. It is not the gift so much but that they thought of you, don't you think? It always amazes me that kids and husbands don't clue in that all that is really needed is to make the person you love feel a little bit appreciated and loved. It doesn't take fancy gifts but maybe a little bit of forethought. It seems like such a simple thing to me.
My youngest is graduating this year too, in a week..

 

[swingirl]

I am sorry for those with disappointing Mother's Days or unfortunate Mother experiences that taint the day. I probably had more than my share of disappointing "love" holidays but these days I take them as they come and don't expect too much.

Husband got up and cleaned the kitchen from the night before, kids made breakfast. I got a card and 2 vase-full of flowers. Going out to do something and/or going out to dinner was offered but my preference was for me to make dinner and then watch Sunday night TV. No gifts, no hoopla. I thanked my kids for making me a proud and happy mother (they are adults). I thanked my daughter for coming into this world quickly (fast labor) and thanked my son for giving me a painless delivery (C-section). I thanked my husband for getting me pregnant so I COULD be a mother. We all got a chuckle. I can't take any of that stuff too seriously.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I got a handmade happy "moth" day card from my 4yo . Something happened to "er" at the end. He probably got distracted as usual.

I love that!



Part gypsy, that sounds like a good day even though he had to work. He put a little forethought into it, right? I will look up your thread about the ring fiasco! It sounds like he definitely gets some extra points for that one. He sounds very sweet! I hope you do enjoy your bling!


That is messed up about the flowers. I reminded my DH to send flowers to his mom and mail her a card. I am not sure who he used but he said they had to be delivered Friday or they couldn't guarantee delivery for the weekend. They had taken the maximum amount of orders to Sat delivery. I hope they get a arrangement out today and make it extra special as they should.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I am sorry for those with disappointing Mother's Days or unfortunate Mother experiences that taint the day. I probably had more than my share of disappointing "love" holidays but these days I take them as they come and don't expect too much.

Husband got up and cleaned the kitchen from the night before, kids made breakfast. I got a card and 2 vase-full of flowers. Going out to do something and/or going out to dinner was offered but my preference was for me to make dinner and then watch Sunday night TV. No gifts, no hoopla. I thanked my kids for making me a proud and happy mother (they are adults). I thanked my daughter for coming into this world quickly (fast labor) and thanked my son for giving me a painless delivery (C-section). I thanked my husband for getting me pregnant so I COULD be a mother. We all got a chuckle. I can't take any of that stuff too seriously.

I wish I could somehow force myself to have no expectations. One of my friends has been telling me this for years. I try, but I can seem to do it. But my expectations are not for fancy gifts or even dinners out. I would usually rather stay home. My only expectation is a little planning and that I feel just a little bit loved and appreciated. That is a simple thing to me, it doesn't take a lot of money or time. Things like giving me the exact same bouquet of flowers for 20+ years for every frickin holiday does not say that to me, but apparently that is unreasonable.

My DH did get a card and some chocolate covered strawberries at Costco when he worked the day before. I was in the shower when he got home and he said 'I left you a card and some strawberries on the counter downstairs'. Not a Happy Mothers Day, is there anything you would like to do today, or I thought we could do this. Later, he asked if I wanted to go to lunch with DD and fiancé. (See above) I was a wreck by 1, realizing that not a single thing was planned. My DD is marrying my close friends son, and really I didn't want to fall apart in front of him because it would go straight to her, which it did anyway. I got a text from her saying, "I hope you are getting the quiet and peaceful day you wanted". Really?

I am going to have to make it up to my DD because I unintentionally hurt her feelings. I just don't want every single thing that goes on in our family to be heard by my friends family. I am finding this development a little hard to become used to.

I think I am under a bit of stress to. We committed to helping DD with her wedding costs. DH is working extra so we don't have to take money out of investments. This is wedding #2. We just put our son with a brain injury into a group home, and number #2 son is in rehab and been staying at our house for the last couple weekends for court dates. Little stress?

 

[swingirl]

Aww, sorry your day was poop, luv2sparkle. You deserve extra special treatment considering all you are going through with your kids and the stress you are dealing with. Here's an imaginary PS special bouquet of your favorite flowers (((******))) wrapped in a hug.

 

[Arcadian]

I'm not a mom to human kids, and the dog doesn't cook I sent my mom a check. She didn't tell me what she wanted specifically because she couldn't think of anything at the time. She hates surprises anyway (as do I) so she in fact LOVED I sent her money which which, she got some new outside furniture to her taste. Last year I got her a kindle as thats what she specifically asked for. I personally hate it when I ask what she wants and she says "get me what you want to get me" because I know that her taste and mine don't exactly mesh! We talked for a couple of hours Sunday morning. I don't live close to my parents, so we keep it pretty low key. I will do the same with my dad. My sister on the other hand LOVES surprises, and love to surprise my parents. (they don't dig it but go along with it anyway) sometimes I wonder if we're actually related...

 

[distracts]

I'm not a mother, but my extended family gets together for a big party, from my grandmother all the way down to my cousin's children, for four generations of attendees and three generations of mothers. We didn't used to do this and I think we mainly do because my grandmother is nearing 100 and it's impossible to guess at how much time we have left with her. While she's in good health for nearly 100 years old, when someone gets to be that old, you could lose them tomorrow and not be surprised, even if she was totally fine yesterday, you know? She is appalled that I have been married over two years and have not given her a great-grandchild yet. She doesn't know how it is possible (she spent the year leading up to my wedding telling me that nine months to a year after I got married, I would have a baby, that's just how it happens! Nothing you can do about it!). I don't think she's caught up on this whole "birth control" concept.

I get my mom a card but it's hard to know what else to do for her as this party takes up most of the day and she doesn't like stuff so it would be pretty impossible to buy her a gift. We did more stuff when we were younger and lived at home, but we also didn't have the big family party then. But this thread sure is making me feel like my brother and I should make more of an effort.

 

[partgypsy]

Ah Arcadian, my mother would prefer not flowers but some cash or check to spend on herself, so even if it's not much I send her something so she can treat herself.

Luvsparkle, gosh that sounds horrible, especially as you have emotionally and financially heavy things going on. Yeah guys can be pretty dense. It seemed like a number of years hubby was like that, nothing, not even a happy mother's day type thing, and it really is the thought that counts, that you feel this person wants to make you happy, and at least thinks about it. So I felt like that this time, because a) he got a plant the day before, versus waiting the day and either getting nothing or getting from flowers from the grocery store and handing them to me like it was a big obligation, and that I suggested doing something together the day before and he did it, without complaint (it was to a children's museum we have a membership to, so it didn't cost money). So maybe my PTSD about these holidays will finally dissipate!

 

[azstonie]

Luv2, I am in No Contact with my mom. I saw a therapist over the years trying to wrestle my way through FOO damage and abuse. The therapist told me to have kind people, particularly women, surrounding me in an effort to balance out the absentee mother I have.

So know that your kindness here has been noted and appreciated by me and I'm sure others here. I read when you post because I know it'll balance on the good end of the scale. Thank you for that!

The other thing the therapist told me was to be very specific when telling my spouse how to handle things like gifts, holidays, that matter to me but he wouldn't be able to figure it out by himself. A couple days before Mother's Day next year, ask your DH to wake you in the morning by telling you that you've been and continue to be a loving and supportive mom to your kids.

 

[Calliecake]

Luvs2sparkle,

I'm sorry you didn't have the day you were hoping for. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. I can certainly understand how you feel about things you would like to keep private going back to your friend. I hope you can discuss how you feel with your daughter. I'm sure she will understand.

 

[nala]

Mine was like it has always been...I make the day about my mother. My siblings and I all do, and we gather together, have a nice luncheon at one of our homes, and shower her with gifts and attention. I think maybe we have good Karma for doing this, because our hubbies go out of their way to make our day special. We all get nice gifts from our hubbies and our children.

 

[bbziggy]

My Mother's Day is always bitter sweet. My mom has been gone 17 years and my mother in law has been gone 3. All 3
of my children live across the country from us. This year we decided to fly to San Francisco to be with them. All of them wrote beautiful wordy cards and gave me a beautiful picture frame that is to include a family picture taken while we are all together. I really did feel loved and special. Usually everyone is so busy with their own lives. I miss having them close by.This was a special year!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Azstonie, and Callicake, thank you! You are both so very sweet! Azstonie, your therapist is a very wise woman. We women can do so much for each other if we support each other. Azstonie, I think that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, and it means a lot to me.

Really, i didn't want this to be about me or any kind of pity party. I really just wanted hear stories about Mother's Days where love and appreciation abounded. That is a great mood lifter for me!

Nala, that is awesome! A perfect way to spend the day! I am so glad you have siblings that love to do that with you. It must make it so fun! It is wonderful that your men see your beautiful hearts and kick in! Great story! Thank you for sharing it!

 

[luv2sparkle]

My Mother's Day is always bitter sweet. My mom has been gone 17 years and my mother in law has been gone 3. All 3
of my children live across the country from us. This year we decided to fly to San Francisco to be with them. All of them wrote beautiful wordy cards and gave me a beautiful picture frame that is to include a family picture taken while we are all together. I really did feel loved and special. Usually everyone is so busy with their own lives. I miss having them close by.This was a special year!

Bbziggy, what a great day! That sounds fabulous! What a special memory you created! I love the thoughtfulness your kids had to make a lasting tangible memory that you all could have!

 

[luv2sparkle]

One of my boys is teaching in Vietnam. He mad this awesome card and sent it to me. It is some of our favorite photos when the kids were little. When they were little I would always ask them if I loved them "un poquito, or muy grande" and he put that on the inside. So cute, and I will treasure it forever!

 

[Mayk]

Luv2sparkle so very sorry, my heart hurts for you... One should only have to take so much..your plate is full. Sending warm thoughts.

I don't love Mother's Day. My DH is a prince treats me like a queen! This year my Daughter must be going through the I'm almost 17 pain in my backside. She was a handful.

I'm adopted and my mom passed when I was 21. I found my birth mother and for 20 years we had a great relationship. Then when my daughter had surgery two and a half years ago we got sideways with each other. We've not spoken in over two years... October will be three. She will be 73 in October. I'm thinking we will never talk again. DD is flying to see her in August and I have all kinds of mixed emotions about it...trying not to dwell. Didn't love Mothers Day this year, but my flowers from DH are beautiful. My favorite thing next to bling.. Fresh flowers. (Ending on a positive)

 

[NOYFB]

Mother's Day is a little weird for me, since I haven't had a relationship with my own mother in 8 years. Long story that I don't want to get into here, but basically it's just me and my sister. My sis has kids (I have kitties), so I always try to make her feel special. This year I sent her flowers and Shari's Berries (she lives 2 states away). My MIL lives about an hour away, so DH and I always go to her house or his brother's house for Mother's Day and we have dinner/dessert, etc, and just hang out.