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Words some people still use that most find offensive...

Maria D

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While I do not curse in writing on Pricescope, I likely wouldn't last 10 minutes in real life actual conversation with this group! You'd surely kick me and my foul mouth right out the door.

Yikes, (I think that's safe) Even DISNEY named a character after a euphemism for "Jesus Christ" -- good ol' lovable Jiminy Cricket!

edited to add:
And what about Jeepers Creepers?
 

VRBeauty

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jaysonsmom|1428448090|3858226 said:
This one has not been mentioned...I get extremely miffed when people curse or exclaim using religious references, and it's usually those that are oblivious that it is offensive to Christians to hear the Lord's name spewed out for anything and everything that's gone south.

Oh Geez!!!! (came from the Jesus)
Oh my G-d!!!!!
For Ch---st's sake!!!!
Worst offense: Jeesus (f-ing) C....!

I can't even write them out, it makes me cringe. I hear it all around my work place, and even from my own husband's mouth sometimes!

I'll admit to occasionally using "Oh Geez." The other day I did it - to my mortification - at a meeting at church. ;)) I am pretty careful to use "oh my goodness" when appropriate rather than Oh my God... and if the latter ever slips out of my mouth, you can be sure it will be appropriate to the situation!

I admit to watching a bit of television, including reality television, and I think the reality "stars" on the major network shows, at least, are coached to use "oh my gosh" or "oh my goodness" rather than what must be, for some of them at least, their natural inclination. So somebody out there "gets" that these terms can be offensive to some people. (As to the fact that some of these terms are substitutes for the real thing - well, it's the thought that counts, right?)

Many years ago I was working quite high up in our organization - at the agency level - and talking to someone whose job was basically public interface and dispute resolution. He was describing a particularly vexing problem with a particular complainant to me, and his language was liberally peppered withe at least the first three of your examples. When we were finishing our conversation I had to tell him that a lot of people would find his use of that language offensive, and that he should refrain from doing so when representing us. :rolleyes: Which just shows, I guess, that some people just don't know.
 

zoebartlett

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I hate when I hear people with autism being described as "an autistic boy/girl." No, they are boys/girls first. They have autism. It might seem like a little thing but it really gets on my nerves. Basically, I don't like when I hear someone described or defined by the disease, illness, condition, etc. they have.

I also don't like the term that Missy referred to way back on page one that was used to describe someone with intellectual disabilities. Whether using that word to describe a person or a situation, either way, I don't like it. At all.

There are a few others, ones that are obviously offensive, but those are the big ones for me.
 

missy

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I was doing a bit of research this morning and it seems many words are derived from words that have religious meaning so all I can say with respect to that is yes intent and thought does count thank goodness. I think it is absolutely OK to use words and terms like Oh my goodness or Jiminy Cricket (thanks Maria, I love that term and forgot about it) etc. Again that's why I put "most" in the title or else we really might be out of much of our vocabulary...

Zoe, what term/words are you referring to? Can you elaborate? At work we were told to replace the term DD with ID and many years ago we had to use MR as the descriptive term so every few years it changes but it is super important that we use the terminology we are mandated to use by the agency and government...

And I agree with you. People are people and human first and foremost. We only have to use those descriptive terms because of insurance purposes. Like it or not and it is a way to describe for health reasons that are important.

Stracci, forgot to say that my dh has heard of that term and he is from NJ so perhaps it is elsewhere. I OTOH have never heard of it before. Thanks for chiming in. So interesting.

VR I watch some of the RH shows (guilty! :lol: ) and it seems every other word out of their mouth is F*** that and F*** this so not sure they are being told to use OM goodness etc vs other words because well they drop the F word almost every sentence it seems. :o
 

Niel

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VRBeauty|1428467707|3858374 said:
jaysonsmom|1428448090|3858226 said:
This one has not been mentioned...I get extremely miffed when people curse or exclaim using religious references, and it's usually those that are oblivious that it is offensive to Christians to hear the Lord's name spewed out for anything and everything that's gone south.

Oh Geez!!!! (came from the Jesus)
Oh my G-d!!!!!
For Ch---st's sake!!!!
Worst offense: Jeesus (f-ing) C....!

I can't even write them out, it makes me cringe. I hear it all around my work place, and even from my own husband's mouth sometimes!

I'll admit to occasionally using "Oh Geez." The other day I did it - to my mortification - at a meeting at church. ;)) I am pretty careful to use "oh my goodness" when appropriate rather than Oh my God... and if the latter ever slips out of my mouth, you can be sure it will be appropriate to the situation!

I admit to watching a bit of television, including reality television, and I think the reality "stars" on the major network shows, at least, are coached to use "oh my gosh" or "oh my goodness" rather than what must be, for some of them at least, their natural inclination. So somebody out there "gets" that these terms can be offensive to some people. (As to the fact that some of these terms are substitutes for the real thing - well, it's the thought that counts, right?)

Many years ago I was working quite high up in our organization - at the agency level - and talking to someone whose job was basically public interface and dispute resolution. He was describing a particularly vexing problem with a particular complainant to me, and his language was liberally peppered withe at least the first three of your examples. When we were finishing our conversation I had to tell him that a lot of people would find his use of that language offensive, and that he should refrain from doing so when representing us. :rolleyes: Which just shows, I guess, that some people just don't know.

i do declare!

goneflauwpittypat.jpg
 

Niel

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missy|1428486215|3858436 said:
I was doing a bit of research this morning and it seems many words are derived from words that have religious meaning so all I can say with respect to that is yes intent and thought does count thank goodness. I think it is absolutely OK to use words and terms like Oh my goodness or Jiminy Cricket (thanks Maria, I love that term and forgot about it) etc. Again that's why I put "most" in the title or else we really might be out of much of our vocabulary...

Zoe, what term/words are you referring to? Can you elaborate? At work we were told to replace the term DD with ID and many years ago we had to use MR as the descriptive term so every few years it changes but it is super important that we use the terminology we are mandated to use by the agency and government...

And I agree with you. People are people and human first and foremost. We only have to use those descriptive terms because of insurance purposes. Like it or not and it is a way to describe for health reasons that are important.

Stracci, forgot to say that my dh has heard of that term and he is from NJ so perhaps it is elsewhere. I OTOH have never heard of it before. Thanks for chiming in. So interesting.

VR I watch some of the RH shows (guilty! :lol: ) and it seems every other word out of their mouth is F*** that and F*** this so not sure they are being told to use OM goodness etc vs other words because well they drop the F word almost every sentence it seems. :o
+1

Did it say anything about why they were used/created? I would have assumed they were created to avoid being disrespectful to christ but then again, i guess i never really put much thought into it.
 

Niel

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Zoe|1428485791|3858434 said:
I hate when I hear people with autism being described as "an autistic boy/girl." No, they are boys/girls first. They have autism. It might seem like a little thing but it really gets on my nerves. Basically, I don't like when I hear someone described or defined by the disease, illness, condition, etc. they have.

I also don't like the term that Missy referred to way back on page one that was used to describe someone with intellectual disabilities. Whether using that word to describe a person or a situation, either way, I don't like it. At all.


There are a few others, ones that are obviously offensive, but those are the big ones for me.

Yes i have quite the gripe about it, more so than any harmless swear word (F***, S!!!, so forth). If you get me going i have a sailor's mouth. At my work when someone calls in upset, i usually dont get too mad when they drop F bombs like autumn leaves; as long as they are not directed at me. I have hung up on people for using the R word.
 

missy

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Niel, yes it was to avoid using G-d's name in vain and not breaking one of the 10 Commandments or blaspheming. LOL then one can just use F*** I guess but personally that is worse IMO. Though when provoked I am with Maria. It just rolls off the tongue yanno? :oops:

My dh and I had a disagreement many years ago about saying G-d bless you when someone sneezes. I was raised to say either that or Gesundheit and my dh not being religious found it (at the time not anymore since our lengthy discussion) offensive in a way because G-d has nothing to do with it. For me saying G-d bless you or Gesundheit is more out of respect for the person sneezing and I say it as a way of saying good health to that person if that makes sense and for me it has no religious connotations really. However I will add I am a very spiritual person and I do believe in G-d (hence the reason I use the "-" out of respect) though not a formal religion with which to practice my belief. I feel organized religion can be very separating and damaging in many ways and haven't many/most wars been fought in the name of religion? But I digress and am threadjacking my own thread sorry!
 

missy

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Niel|1428489057|3858456 said:
Zoe|1428485791|3858434 said:
I hate when I hear people with autism being described as "an autistic boy/girl." No, they are boys/girls first. They have autism. It might seem like a little thing but it really gets on my nerves. Basically, I don't like when I hear someone described or defined by the disease, illness, condition, etc. they have.

I also don't like the term that Missy referred to way back on page one that was used to describe someone with intellectual disabilities. Whether using that word to describe a person or a situation, either way, I don't like it. At all.


There are a few others, ones that are obviously offensive, but those are the big ones for me.

Yes i have quite the gripe about it, more so than any harmless swear word (F***, S!!!, so forth). If you get me going i have a sailor's mouth. At my work when someone calls in upset, i usually dont get too mad when they drop F bombs like autumn leaves; as long as they are not directed at me. I have hung up on people for using the R word.

OK so that is what Zoe meant. 100% agree. That word is so hurtful but I will add that many people use it without thinking and without wanting to cause that hurt so here education is key. One of our beloved PSers has used that word on occasion and I wince whenever he has but I never corrected him because I didn't want to offend him if that makes sense as I do not have a close relationship with him and usually only feel comfortable correcting people (gently) with whom I share a closer relationship. I also realize he didn't mean harm by it but in retrospect if the situation were reversed I would have wanted to be gently corrected so perhaps I did him a disservice.
 

Niel

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missy|1428489572|3858457 said:
Niel, yes it was to avoid using G-d's name in vain and not breaking one of the 10 Commandments or blaspheming. LOL then one can just use F*** I guess but personally that is worse IMO. Though when provoked I am with Maria. It just rolls off the tongue yanno? :oops:

My dh and I had a disagreement many years ago about saying G-d bless you when someone sneezes. I was raised to say either that or Gesundheit and my dh not being religious found it (at the time not anymore since our lengthy discussion) offensive in a way because G-d has nothing to do with it. For me saying G-d bless you or Gesundheit is more out of respect for the person sneezing and I say it as a way of saying good health to that person if that makes sense and for me it has no religious connotations really. However I will add I am a very spiritual person and I do believe in G-d (hence the reason I use the "-" out of respect) though not a formal religion with which to practice my belief. I feel organized religion can be very separating and damaging in many ways and haven't many/most wars been fought in the name of religion? But I digress and am threadjacking my own thread sorry!

right? when someone calls me at work and tell me some sad story (it happens a lot), when its particularly shocking i say "oh my goodness, thats terrible " or something. I find that much more work appropriate than "oh, sh!t" :lol:
 

missy

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Niel|1428489986|3858462 said:
missy|1428489572|3858457 said:
Niel, yes it was to avoid using G-d's name in vain and not breaking one of the 10 Commandments or blaspheming. LOL then one can just use F*** I guess but personally that is worse IMO. Though when provoked I am with Maria. It just rolls off the tongue yanno? :oops:

My dh and I had a disagreement many years ago about saying G-d bless you when someone sneezes. I was raised to say either that or Gesundheit and my dh not being religious found it (at the time not anymore since our lengthy discussion) offensive in a way because G-d has nothing to do with it. For me saying G-d bless you or Gesundheit is more out of respect for the person sneezing and I say it as a way of saying good health to that person if that makes sense and for me it has no religious connotations really. However I will add I am a very spiritual person and I do believe in G-d (hence the reason I use the "-" out of respect) though not a formal religion with which to practice my belief. I feel organized religion can be very separating and damaging in many ways and haven't many/most wars been fought in the name of religion? But I digress and am threadjacking my own thread sorry!

right? when someone calls me at work and tell me some sad story (it happens a lot), when its particularly shocking i say "oh my goodness, thats terrible " or something. I find that much more work appropriate than "oh, sh!t" :lol:

Totally. :bigsmile:

Love that pic you posted btw.

Here's a term that comes to mind when someone is annoying the cr** out of me. Appropriate or no? 8)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLnTWxpTQt4
 

Niel

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missy|1428489866|3858460 said:
Niel|1428489057|3858456 said:
Zoe|1428485791|3858434 said:
I hate when I hear people with autism being described as "an autistic boy/girl." No, they are boys/girls first. They have autism. It might seem like a little thing but it really gets on my nerves. Basically, I don't like when I hear someone described or defined by the disease, illness, condition, etc. they have.

I also don't like the term that Missy referred to way back on page one that was used to describe someone with intellectual disabilities. Whether using that word to describe a person or a situation, either way, I don't like it. At all.


There are a few others, ones that are obviously offensive, but those are the big ones for me.

Yes i have quite the gripe about it, more so than any harmless swear word (F***, S!!!, so forth). If you get me going i have a sailor's mouth. At my work when someone calls in upset, i usually dont get too mad when they drop F bombs like autumn leaves; as long as they are not directed at me. I have hung up on people for using the R word.

OK so that is what Zoe meant. 100% agree. That word is so hurtful but I will add that many people use it without thinking and without wanting to cause that hurt so here education is key. One of our beloved PSers has used that word on occasion and I wince whenever he has but I never corrected him because I didn't want to offend him if that makes sense as I do not have a close relationship with him and usually only feel comfortable correcting people (gently) with whom I share a closer relationship. I also realize he didn't mean harm by it but in retrospect if the situation were reversed I would have wanted to be gently corrected so perhaps I did him a disservice.

ive never noticed that before. If i saw someone on here say that i would say something. If he chooses not to do anything oh well.

Much like if someone tells me not to say golly. Ill consider it, but probably not stop
 

Niel

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missy|1428490100|3858463 said:
Niel|1428489986|3858462 said:
missy|1428489572|3858457 said:
Niel, yes it was to avoid using G-d's name in vain and not breaking one of the 10 Commandments or blaspheming. LOL then one can just use F*** I guess but personally that is worse IMO. Though when provoked I am with Maria. It just rolls off the tongue yanno? :oops:

My dh and I had a disagreement many years ago about saying G-d bless you when someone sneezes. I was raised to say either that or Gesundheit and my dh not being religious found it (at the time not anymore since our lengthy discussion) offensive in a way because G-d has nothing to do with it. For me saying G-d bless you or Gesundheit is more out of respect for the person sneezing and I say it as a way of saying good health to that person if that makes sense and for me it has no religious connotations really. However I will add I am a very spiritual person and I do believe in G-d (hence the reason I use the "-" out of respect) though not a formal religion with which to practice my belief. I feel organized religion can be very separating and damaging in many ways and haven't many/most wars been fought in the name of religion? But I digress and am threadjacking my own thread sorry!

right? when someone calls me at work and tell me some sad story (it happens a lot), when its particularly shocking i say "oh my goodness, thats terrible " or something. I find that much more work appropriate than "oh, sh!t" :lol:

Totally. :bigsmile:

Love that pic you posted btw.

Here's a term that comes to mind when someone is annoying the cr** out of me. Appropriate or no? 8)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLnTWxpTQt4

ha!
 

chrono

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I thought the reason people said "God bless you" after one sneezes is to shield your body against evil spirits because sneezing was once thought of as exposing yourself to something evil?
 

momhappy

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missy|1428436526|3858124 said:
Thank you everyone who has contributed so far. Lots of thoughtful posts and helpful sharing.

Deb, to echo Circe, that was awesome! Thanks for sharing that and please threadjack away. I love all your stories and find them delightful and never consider them threadjacks anyway.

Circe, huge ditto and I loathe all those terms too.

Rainydaze, thank you. And I agree with you in that much of the time the words we choose to use say more about us than the people to whom we are referring. And I hate when people use those words too. The C word etc. I find them distasteful.

Ricezo, I know and I find that upsetting as well.

dk, I don't love the word Oriental used to refer to people but I have no problem when it is being used to refer to an object like a rug. From my understanding the word Oriental is associated with a time period when Asians had a subordinate status (in the USA) and it’s never been widely used by people of Asian descent to describe themselves. It's a Eurocentric name and instead I prefer to call people what they call themselves. I believe NY and Washington passed bans on using the word on official documents and government forms. Thank you though for sharing your POV. I appreciate that and it is good to know you do not find it offensive.

Jambalaya, if I am not sure I ask. I have many friends of all different backgrounds and I feel close enough to them to just ask them what they prefer. Sometimes there is no right or wrong but the last thing I ever want to do is offend anybody and that is why I started this thread. To find out what others feel is appropriate and inappropriate and none of us are perfect and there is always room to learn. Words can be so powerful and while of course we give them the power it is not so easy to just ignore things that can be hurtful. That rhyme "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" I don't agree with. They can hurt and it is hard to ignore hurtful words sometimes though who is saying them makes all the difference.

HouseCat, I am so sorry for all you have been and all you continue to go through and thank you for sharing your story to better help us understand why we should be careful with our words. I completely agree that minimizing serious experiences and feelings are harmful and prevents others from getting the help they need and hurtful to those dealing with real issues. I am very glad you are doing so well and have a supportive network of loved ones. (((Hugs))).

Telephone, thank you for sharing your story too. It is quite a complex issue and sometimes it is not clear what the best term/word is to use and in that case if I feel close enough to the person I will simply ask. The last thing I want to be is insensitive so when in doubt I keep quiet or ask depending on my relationship with the person.

momhappy, I didn't think you deliberately wanted to offend and I also did not care for the way some posters attacked you as I do not support bullying of any kind whatsoever. However I did feel that you were less than sensitive with some of your replies to them which left a bit of doubt so thank you for clearing that up. As I wrote I find bullying unacceptable in any way shape or form and that is why I wanted to start this thread to see if communicating about this sensitive topic could be helpful for us all.

Arcadian, yes, that is exactly what many of my friends say too and that makes 100% sense.

Part Gypsy and Lady Disdain, I always think it is due to ignorance unless proven otherwise. As I wrote none of us and me included are perfect and we all have things to learn. I want to hear what others think and why. Knowledge truly is power.

Evangeline, I totally agree. That is not cool.

Too Patient, I learn from my friends of different backgrounds and cultures as to what they find acceptable and what they do not like. It is not always universal as this thread clearly shows.

Chrono, Yes, I know. If someone has been in their country for generation after generation don't they first consider themselves American or Canadian etc...

Black Prophet, thanks for sharing your perspective on the term African American and that was mine as well and this thread is opening up different thoughts and ideas to me and I appreciate learning about them all. I have a few biracial friends and that is personally how they refer to themselves as. Biracial. Not black not white. It is complicated and I am always respectful of whatever those preferences are. To me the term biracial makes the most sense if the person's mom is one race and the dad is another. It becomes complicated if their parents are of mixed race as well. However again I default to that individual's preference.

I find that communication is key to understanding and acceptance of people who are different in whatever way. I think that fear drives intolerance and prejudice and ignorance plays a large part so anything that can bring questions about difficult issues out in the open is always a good thing from my point of view. As long as we are respectful and open to others thoughts and feelings we can learn so much.

My responses were less sensitive not because of the topic - they were less sensitive as a result my experience with a particular member that posted. I'm glad that we were able to clear that up =)
 

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Maria D|1428460840|3858349 said:
While I do not curse in writing on Pricescope, I likely wouldn't last 10 minutes in real life actual conversation with this group! You'd surely kick me and my foul mouth right out the door.

Yikes, (I think that's safe) Even DISNEY named a character after a euphemism for "Jesus Christ" -- good ol' lovable Jiminy Cricket!

edited to add:
And what about Jeepers Creepers?


hahahahaha I'm the same way Maria! Tho, I *do* do big swears on here. I refrain in front of my preschoolers at work and my gramma. That's about it.
 

VapidLapid

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Jambalaya|1428426543|3858024 said:
Hi Momhappy, I've read your thread now. I didn't click on it initially because I'm about the least fashionable person I know, so had no advice for you!

The thread is a good example of linguistic bullying though. It's unfortunate when a person says something quite innocently and then is raked over the coals, obviously then making them feel defensive as a result.

You're not the only one. A few months ago VL was in dire straits and posted about his troubles, and I was very concerned for him. It was late and I was cutting corners in my writing, and I meant to say that he was being tested by circumstance. But I cut it short as I was being a little lazy, and tired, and just wrote that he was being tested. As a result of that, Kenny started a thread specifically to attack me, calling me all manner of things, because he thought I was being religious! (I immediately apologized, even though it was hard to imagine I'd done anything wrong. The thread was deleted.) I'm not religious at all, and I meant that VL was being tested by circumstances beyond his control! Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever predicted that being tested had religious connotations. I literally had no idea what he was talking about. I was completely floored. I mean, wouldn't you have to be a deeply religious person to see a religious meaning in that? I'm not religious so I saw none. And the irony is that I'm a liberal person who believes in human rights, and gay rights - I give money each month to the Human Rights campaign - and deplores prejudice of any kind, yet he made me feel like some kind of preachy far-right narrow-minded person! I still can't believe he started a special thread to attack me over nothing.

In the workplace, linguistic politics can sometimes be another tool in a bully's arsenal, and that's when linguistic politics can have seriously nasty consequences.



Jambalaya, I only just read this post. And I completely missed the thread where kenny attacked you. I do remember you saying I was being tested, in a post that was compassionate and supportive. I did not attribute any religious reference to your words. To me, in such context, "being tested" is taken as a test of one's mettle, of one's character, and one's ability and willingness to learn and grow and develop the strength of character and skills needed for a new life situation. Your support and concern were, and still are very much appreciated. Thank you.
 

luv2sparkle

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I do have a few words that I find offensive and a few words that I don't like to hear coming out of my (grown) kids mouths. But the problem to me is that so many of the words that are acceptable in our culture seem to change. People get used to saying them, and culture changes again and suddenly they are not appropriate. Or like someone else mentioned, they are offensive to one person and not to another. I would not say something to intentionally offend or hurt someones feeling but it can be hard to keep up.

Growing up, my family was what I would deem now as bigoted and racist. I do not agree nor think in the same terms they did, or in any way use the same vernacular. What strikes me about the time, in looking back, was that it never once crossed their minds that their speech was offensive. They were not hateful people but their speech was peppered with phrases that were common to the day. We are much more conscious of what we say these days and that is a very good thing. But what we think is not offensive today will very likely be thought to be offensive to someone else in just a few short years. Our culture affects our speech and culture changes rapidly.

With the fluidity of social media, someone can be offended by something new, or previously not deemed offensive and that subject can go viral in just a few days. Then there is something new we shouldn't say. This subject has been around since the beginning of speech and I don't think we will ever be able to come to a consensus of what is offensive and what is not because it will be continually shifting.
 

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Academic question: I'm seeing some people in this thread who identify as Christian using dashes to avoid spelling the names of their deity. I'm used to seeing Jews do this, primarily with the name of the divine transliterated as YHWH or, by putting a dash in for the vowel in G-d, but I've never seen Christians do this before. If you don't mind my asking, is this a new movement, denominational, personal to you ...?
 

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nvermind
 

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Niel|1428488040|3858445 said:
VRBeauty|1428467707|3858374 said:
I'll admit to occasionally using "Oh Geez." The other day I did it - to my mortification - at a meeting at church. ;))

gonefl.jpg

i do declare!

Yup - that's me! You nailed it, Niel! :wink2:
 

msop04

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It's clear which words most people would find offensive... but in a society where it seems so many are just looking to BE OFFENDED -- we're all pretty much screwed. #yeahisaidscrewed :roll:

I'd rather not talk to someone who is forever trying to find a way to be offended or find something offensive for others... but then I'd be considered *rude*. SHEESH!
 

msop04

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packrat|1428442169|3858167 said:
I feel we would be much better off to revert to a system of hoots and clicks for speaking. Or we need to learn to communicate telepathically b/c pretty much anymore when we open our mouths, we are in danger of offending someone, somewhere. We should just not speak to one another, but rather give everyone the side eye of suspicion.

YAAAASSSSSSS!!!! :lol: :lol:

...but I'm pretty sure someone, somewhere would find a way to be offended. :roll: :wall: :wall:
 

azstonie

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I deplore the devaluing of the f* word through everyday use. It used to have real impact. Not so much now.

I miss the shock value it used to carry.
 

GliderPoss

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Interesting thread! I grew up in a verrrrry white, rural, rather old fashioned area with minimal experience with other cultures/nationalities so to be honest we didn't really officially learn what to call everyone else! :oops:

Thankfully I've now spent many years in various major cities with broader experiences so I always try to be absolutely polite and sensitive to people of all different cultures/nationalities and yet it does seem a struggle at times with some people terribly offended by one term but not another! Eg. African American/Black/Coloured person/Person of colour etc.... :confused:

Personally I despise crass vulgar language that is universally derogatory to all such as "Slut", "C*nt", "F*cktard" etc. :angryfire:
 

nala

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I'm so glad this thread was started! I saw the thread that inspired this one, and I have to say, it's important to address these issues unless we want to become a society that just takes terms for granted and thinks that we CAN"T change these just because they have been around for a long time. Here are my favorite: "cougar" used for women who are dating younger men..."gold digger" used for women who are dating older men....and any other derogatory term towards women that teens and ignorant people find acceptable. Some of my high school students looove to come up with these on a yearly basis. A few years ago, the term was RACHET (spelling?) and last year it was "THOT." You better believe they get a lecture from me every time!

Now I wanted to share a story. My teen daughter was wearing combat boots and was told by another teen (her friend, who is otherwise very nice) that she liked her "Jew Stompers." OMG! I could not believe that that nice young girl was using that term. My daughter shared the comment with me because she found it disturbing and told the girl that she had never heard that term. The girl responded that her family used it all the time! The moral of the story is that kids are always picking up language and social cues, and if they hear their parents passively accept these terms, they acquire them and spread the idea that language is harmless "as long as the intent" is not malicious. But really? It doesn't take a genius to realize when words have negative connotations and were created only to spread hate. Anyhow, now I think that I know that family a lot better than I thought.
 

zoebartlett

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Niel, thanks for explaining to Missy what word I was referring to.
 

missy

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azstonie|1428545734|3859023 said:
I deplore the devaluing of the f* word through everyday use. It used to have real impact. Not so much now.

I miss the shock value it used to carry.

Yes, I agree Kristie. That is a very good point. It is used all the friggin (LOL couldn't help myself sorry) time and it just doesn't carry the shock value it did when I was a child. Though it does depend on who is using it. When I hear a child using the word I cringe way more than when I hear an adult using it. Though if an adult is using it in front of a child it makes me go ewwww. I am guilty of using the word myself (but usually in private) and I am working on that because I feel there are better less crass ways to express dissatisfaction or aggravation. It's not a nice word. :knockout:

HotPozzum, I also cringe when I hear those words. They are universally derogatory and just very unpleasant to hear when people use them. I also don't love the word "Bitch" but I get that people use it in an affectionate way with each other. I much prefer using it as "Biatch" when used affectionately vs the harder "Bitch" if that makes sense. I think it best applies to female dogs though IMO.

I think as long as you do your best to be respectful of other people and their cultures you will be OK and less likely to offend because as you point out there are variations of what is acceptable to some. I don't think (as some posters here wrote) that most people are looking to be offended. Rather the opposite. I know when I hear something questionable I always give the benefit of the doubt as I don't want to believe some is prejudiced or intolerant of any person/race/religion/sexual orientation etc.

luv2sparkle, I don't think it is about figuring out how to never offend anyone ever but rather to be sensitive and respectful and do the best one can. There are always going to be words that offend some people but again I feel it is more about how you are feeling towards that person, what your intent is that will offend or not offend and if one chooses their words with thought and caring then one is less likely to offend. IMO. There will never be universal agreement but the way one thinks will make all the difference. If people would not have prejudice and intolerance in their heart the world would be a much better place.

Nala, thanks for sharing that story. I never heard that term before either. Wow. Just goes to show that hate and prejudice and ignorance is alive and well though I sure hope it is in the minority. I agree with you completely that we can change society. Small steps. But if we just say it cannot be done and give up then there is no chance to make a better world with people who embrace each other with love instead of fearing each other because of perceived differences. Words do matter.
 

telephone89

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Did the other thread get deleted? I find that more offensive than the language used =\
 

momhappy

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This thread has been a very interesting read:) There are a handful of terms (like "suck", "oh jeez", etc.) that I have used casually without even thinking about it.
 
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