Etiquette Poll

[nala]

Do you thinking blowing your nose while people are eating, and I mean, really going at it, loudly, is socially acceptable? I have a friend and colleague who does this occasionally, and I've never know quite how to address it. It grosses me out.I have never mentioned it because no one around me seemed to mind, and I didn't know quite how to bring it up. She stopped doing it for a while, but now she is doing it again, and I don't know how to mention it, especially because I've never mentioned it before and because I don't know if I'm alone on this one.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I would rather they blew their noses than sit there sniffling or letting stuff pour out of their nostrils. If it's a one-time problem, they could always excuse themselves and blow their noses in the rest room.

 

[daintyG]

It bothers me, too!

 

[Niel]

If we are talking about an everyday dinner or eating at work or something, it seems selfish to expect someone to get up from their table to blow their nose. Unless she's blowing her nose in your food, it sounds like a you problem.

Dont get me wrong I have things like this too. My mother has, in my opinion, a terribly annoying cough when she is sick. I hate it. But I would never tell her that, as it's my problem, not hers.

I guess maybe its different if you're at a fancy dinner party. I can't speak to that.

 

[VRBeauty]

Honestly, it depends. Are we talking at home or away? A little sniffling or a lot of snot? Allergy or something contagious?

If it's at home and not contagious, I think occasional blowing is OK. If it's more than that, give the sniffler the option to sit away from the table.

If it's dinner out, well - first of all, hopefully anybody contagious isn't eating dinner out! And hopefully anybody dealing with allergies would take a Claritin or something if possible. I don't think frequent nose blowing is OK when dining out. The people in your party may have given their "blessing," but if you're in a restaurant, the other people there are sort of stuck there whether they like it or not.

 

[swingirl]

For me, snot and personal hygiene have no place at the dinner table or around food. After blowing one's nose those hands should be washed as tissues or hankies with mucus on them have been handled. It is very easy to go to the bathroom to touch up a runny nose or blow your nose, wash hands and return without making everyone listen to the awful sound of snot being blown out.

That's just me. Whether its in a restaurant or at my our dining room table I find it rude and gross. Snuffing, snorting are in the same category. It's mucus, a bodily fluid.

 

[monarch64]

Where is Haven, our resident etiquette maven???

 

[AGBF]

For me, snot and personal hygiene have no place at the dinner table or around food. After blowing one's nose those hands should be washed as tissues or hankies with mucus on them have been handled. It is very easy to go to the bathroom to touch up a runny nose or blow your nose, wash hands and return without making everyone listen to the awful sound of snot being blown out.

That's just me. Whether its in a restaurant or at my our dining room table I find it rude and gross. Snuffing, snorting are in the same category. It's mucus, a bodily fluid.

It's great that none of you has a problem with a perpetually running nose that is not due to any illness. I need to carry a packet a tissues in my pocketbook at all times. If I were to have to get up from the table every time I blew my nose or wash my hands every time I used a tissue during a meal, I would look like a jackrabbit jumping in and out of his hole. The dinner would be ludicrous. As it is, I sometimes let it go too far because I am reluctant to blow my nose somewhere and my daughter whispers, "Mom, you have a drip!".

By the way, I have a fairly good case of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and am a compulsive hand washer. I carry alcohol wipes in my Jeep for when I cannot get to soap and water. As soon as I can, sensibly, wash my hands, I do!

AGBF

 

[missy]

If it is subtle it is OK and for dripping i.e. a runny nose and dabbing gently yes, it is OK and one shouldn't have to leave the table every time they need to gently dab at their nose. But, don't use the dinner napkin please for that use (unless it is an emergency of course) and if one has to really blow their nose, mucus and all, I think it best to excuse oneself from the table to do so. Not very pleasant noises to hear while people are enjoying their dinner if you kwim. Or to put it less delicately-leaving to blow snot is acceptable over staying and doing it at the dinner table. IMO.

And while we are discussing dinner etiquette, PLEASE, turn off your mobile phones or put it to vibrate in case you need to be available for family/children issues. But please do not leave it on full ring and do not answer at the table. Leave the table to answer your phone and doing otherwise is rude. IMO.

 

[MollyMalone]

Have you recently seen an ENT specialist, ABGF; a perpetually running nose isn't normal, and there are even more ways of diagnosing-treating nonallergic rhinitis (or whatever the problem may be) nowadays than in years past, so I'd like to think you wouldn't have to suffer this for the rest of your life.

 

[msop04]

 

[zoebartlett]

msop,

No, I don't think it's polite, and I wish people would excuse themselves and do that elsewhere.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

If it is subtle it is OK and for dripping i.e. a runny nose and dabbing gently yes, it is OK and one shouldn't have to leave the table every time they need to gently dab at their nose. But, don't use the dinner napkin please for that use (unless it is an emergency of course) and if one has to really blow their nose, mucus and all, I think it best to excuse oneself from the table to do so. Not very pleasant noises to hear while people are enjoying their dinner if you kwim. Or to put it less delicately-leaving to blow snot is acceptable over staying and doing it at the dinner table. IMO.

And while we are discussing dinner etiquette, PLEASE, turn off your mobile phones or put it to vibrate in case you need to be available for family/children issues. But please do not leave it on full ring and do not answer at the table. Leave the table to answer your phone and doing otherwise is rude. IMO.

+1 Subtle, yes. Sick with congestion probably should not be at restaurant. Some spicy food make my nose run. I can't imagine having to go to the restroom a few times just to take care of that.

 

[junebug17]

LOL msop04!

I think noisy nose-blowing at the table is rude and gross.

 

[nala]

So based on these replies, it seems I'm not alone.
Now, how do I handle this? What can I say? It's gone on for so long, that I have no idea how to approach it.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I wouldn't say anything. Why risk hurting someone's feelings over something that can't be helped?

 

[tyty333]

We were at a fast food joint once and the women setting directly in my line of site started to do the whole blow your nose, wipe
out the nostrils, clear your throat then put on lipstick bit. I had to look away and quit eating. My gag reflex was starting to
kick in. Then after all that, she gets up, dumps her garbage and goes and gets in her car. Now why couldnt she have done all
that nose stuff in the car??? That's where I would have done it if I had to...or the bathroom. It really grossed me out. Other
than that, she was nicely dress. I guess her parents never told her it was rude to do that while other people are trying to dine???

What would I say??? Hmmm, that's a tough one. Not sure if I can help you there. I can come up with all kinds of things to say
but I would probably never have the nerve to say them. Except for "Ewww, gross!" which might automatically come flying from
my lips.

 

[manderz]

 

[luv2sparkle]

I don't like my kids to do it. I always ask them to leave the table. Allergies make it a little more difficult but still.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I hate snot so no, I don't think blowing one's nose at the table is ok. Leave the table. And then wash your damn hands. ESPECIALLY if you're gonna pass the salt.

Thanks,I feel better now.

 

[momhappy]

No, its not socially acceptable. According to Emily Post, one should "Avoid slurping, smacking, and blowing your nose" at the table.
Having said that, I wouldn't address it with someone unless it happened regularly - and only if I had a relationship with the nose-blower that would allow me to speak comfortably about it without offending them. If it was an occasional blow of the nose, yes, I'd be grossed out, but I wouldn't address it.

 

[nala]

No, its not socially acceptable. According to Emily Post, one should "Avoid slurping, smacking, and blowing your nose" at the table.
Having said that, I wouldn't address it with someone unless it happened regularly - and only if I had a relationship with the nose-blower that would allow me to speak comfortably about it without offending them. If it was an occasional blow of the nose, yes, I'd be grossed out, but I wouldn't address it.

The repeat offender does it EVERY TIME we go out! I am close to this person, BUT I feel that it's awkward to bring it up now because I have never mentioned it before and this has been going on for years. I guess I can't really do anything about it but avoid sitting by this person.

 

[momhappy]

Two things came to mind - 1) I'm a little confused because in your first post, you said that the nose-blowing happens on occasion and now you say that it happens all the time? 2) you mentioned that the behavior stopped for a while, but then started back up again - sounds like seasonal allergies to me - does this person have allergies? Not that it excuses the behavior (I still don't find it socially acceptable to blow your nose at the table), but perhaps it offers some insight as to why it's happening. I know some people who suffer pretty badly from allergies and I feel sorry for them.