who paid for your upgrade?

[Katba1ou]

Hi ladies and gents

out of curiosity have any of you seen an upgrade engagement ring you liked but your other half have only wanted to put a specific amount in?

I've had some trouble with my engagement ring and have a specific idea of what I want however what I want costs more (bigger diamond)) and it is more than my husband is willing to pay as as he puts it he has already paid out. I'm tempted to add to it myself but I don't have the kind of money it would require whereas my husband does.

thoughts please if you don't mind sharing

thanks

Katba1ou

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Once we were married, all our money is ours, not his and mine. Thankfully my husband has been good about my upgrades!

I would suggest to him that you'd like an upgrade for your next anniversary or combine it with birthday or other holiday gifts.

 

[missy]

Once we were married, all our money is ours, not his and mine. Thankfully my husband has been good about my upgrades!

I would suggest to him that you'd like an upgrade for your next anniversary or combine it with birthday or other holiday gifts.

I agree. Once you're married it's all shared usually. My dh doesn't put limits on what we spend on gifts, rather I do. What I like to do is combine occasions if I want to get a more expensive gift as Diamondseeker suggested.

 

[junebug17]

In my case, I've been married for a long time and we're now in a position financially for me to get a larger diamond and a few other nice rings, so my husband has been on board with my recent jewelry purchases. It's rough when a couple aren't exactly on the same page about spending money on luxury items. As a fellow diamond lover, hopefully you can work something out with your husband - Diamondseeker had a good suggestion.

 

[Ally T]

Money is a difficult subject & can cause tension. I am personally in agreement with the others here: when we married, both our incomes became combined & went into the same account. Since our first daughter was born almost 6 years ago I stopped working altogether, so I now have a monthly "pocket money" allowance. But my husband, although very careful with money, does indulge me on occasion. He particularly stepped up when I wanted my diamond re-set, and again a couple of weeks back when my eternity ring was also re-set. He knows what's important to me & what I can live without. In would speak with your husband again . And good luck!

 

[madelise]

I bought most of my diamond rings. Definitely all my upgrades . I consider myself betrothed to myself! Haha!

But seriously, I was previously engaged. He was strict that I never upgrade, for sentiment reasons. Should I ever want a change, I'd buy myself another ring. Even though that relationship didn't work out, I think that idea will stick with me. There's nothing wrong with owning multiple rings and I find having multiple rings satiates my need for different styles (Edwardian elaborate, simpler solitaire, halo), and tends to be more affordable than upgrading to a single much larger stone.

 

[Catmom]

We bought my upgrades. Our money has always been shared.

 

[baby monster]

what I want costs more (bigger diamond)) and it is more than my husband is willing to pay as as he puts it he has already paid out. I'm tempted to add to it myself but I don't have the kind of money it would require whereas my husband does.

Do you mean that you have a joint bank account but don't work outside the home? Or that you earn much less than your husband? If your hubby doesn't want to spend anymore on jewelry, I'd try to find a way to earn some extra money and tell him that it's for your bling fund.

 

[Dee*Jay]

"who paid for your upgrade?"

My clients!

 

[Catmom]

"who paid for your upgrade?"

My clients!

 

[Katba1ou]

what I want costs more (bigger diamond)) and it is more than my husband is willing to pay as as he puts it he has already paid out. I'm tempted to add to it myself but I don't have the kind of money it would require whereas my husband does.

Do you mean that you have a joint bank account but don't work outside the home? Or that you earn much less than your husband? If your hubby doesn't want to spend anymore on jewelry, I'd try to find a way to earn some extra money and tell him that it's for your bling fund.

We don't have joint bank accounts but we share the household bills however he earns considerably more than I do. I just suggested waiting until our 5th wedding anniversary which would also be 10 years together and he offered to up the budget by £500. The whole point in my suggestion to wait over 2 and a years is so he could save or add to his suggested amount (£2500) so that he would be able to spend without feeling like it's being blown on such a large purchase. Ive tried to explain that what i would like would be more expensive but it would be forever after this one. I've even said id be more than happy to buy preowned to reduce the cost but it falls on deaf ears as he has no interest in jewellery or diamonds at all.

 

[yueyechuyan]

Ive tried to explain that what i would like would be more expensive but it would be forever after this one. I've even said id be more than happy to buy preowned to reduce the cost but it falls on deaf ears as he has no interest in jewellery or diamonds at all.

I can feel you, My husband is like the same. He has no interest in jewelry and think I am crazy to blow out so much money in it. But is ok, that way I can pick whichever piece and style I want and he has no right to judge me
I think is good to have a nice talk with your hubby one more time, if he still ignore then work on your own.

 

[cflutist]

Hi ladies and gents

out of curiosity have any of you seen an upgrade engagement ring you liked but your other half have only wanted to put a specific amount in?

I've had some trouble with my engagement ring and have a specific idea of what I want however what I want costs more (bigger diamond)) and it is more than my husband is willing to pay as as he puts it he has already paid out. I'm tempted to add to it myself but I don't have the kind of money it would require whereas my husband does.

thoughts please if you don't mind sharing

thanks

Katba1ou

I'm not clear about what you are saying. Do you have the extra money yourself and am asking if you should spend it?

Like most other couples, most of our money is joint (but we each have pre-marital assets that are separate like my house) and we make decisions on how to spend it together. My hubby also understands my love for diamonds and is the one encouraging me to spend when I want to be frugal with myself (e.g. he talked me into the Tiffany Fancy Yellow when I wanted him to talk me out of it, he told me to get .20s FIYs for my bracelet/pendant when I was going to settle for .15s, he told me to get at least a 2 ct CBI when I originally was thinking about 1.5 cts). However, he proposed without an ering, and I traded in my 2.05 D-VS2 oval so we/he could get my 3.01 F-SI1 pear (you could say that I paid more for my e-ring than he did ) We do see our marriage as a partnership and both have very similar financial styles.

So if you have some of your own money and want to contribute towards your upgrade, go for it. If you do not work outside of the home, maybe think of some ways to generate extra income e.g. selling stuff on eBay. Or wait for a milestone anniversary and ask again ... pretty please?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Once we were married, all our money is ours, not his and mine. Thankfully my husband has been good about my upgrades!

I would suggest to him that you'd like an upgrade for your next anniversary or combine it with birthday or other holiday gifts.

DS...Can you talk to my wife?..

 

[Dancing Fire]

Hi ladies and gents

out of curiosity have any of you seen an upgrade engagement ring you liked but your other half have only wanted to put a specific amount in?

I've had some trouble with my engagement ring and have a specific idea of what I want however what I want costs more (bigger diamond)) and it is more than my husband is willing to pay as as he puts it he has already paid out. I'm tempted to add to it myself but I don't have the kind of money it would require whereas my husband does.

thoughts please if you don't mind sharing

thanks

Katba1ou

Tell your husband that if he is not willing to upgrade your ring then you will upgrade the husband...

 

[yueyechuyan]

Tell your husband that if he is not willing to upgrade your ring then you will upgrade the husband...

So cruel

 

[Rena7]

All of our money is put together as well. Since my husband makes about 3 times what I do it kind of works in my favor.

 

[ElleElle]

Took me a couple years to save the amount needed for the upgrade. It was a combination of some paychecks, tax return, and monetary gifts that my husband let me keep for myself. In the end I paid 80% of it and as a birthday gift my husband paid the other 20% to get the upgrade. Discuss your game plan with your husband and be prepared to wait a couple of years to save enough for it!

 

[baby monster]

what I want costs more (bigger diamond)) and it is more than my husband is willing to pay as as he puts it he has already paid out. I'm tempted to add to it myself but I don't have the kind of money it would require whereas my husband does.

Do you mean that you have a joint bank account but don't work outside the home? Or that you earn much less than your husband? If your hubby doesn't want to spend anymore on jewelry, I'd try to find a way to earn some extra money and tell him that it's for your bling fund.

We don't have joint bank accounts but we share the household bills however he earns considerably more than I do. I just suggested waiting until our 5th wedding anniversary which would also be 10 years together and he offered to up the budget by £500. The whole point in my suggestion to wait over 2 and a years is so he could save or add to his suggested amount (£2500) so that he would be able to spend without feeling like it's being blown on such a large purchase. Ive tried to explain that what i would like would be more expensive but it would be forever after this one. I've even said id be more than happy to buy preowned to reduce the cost but it falls on deaf ears as he has no interest in jewellery or diamonds at all.

Well, if you share the bills and keep any remaining amount for yourself, try to earn extra money to add to whatever he's willing to put into the upgrade. IMO it's not worth arguing over something like this. Not like he's refusing to pay for heat or hot water

 

[diamondseeker2006]

DF..you are funny!

I feel like in a marriage, both people have to occasionally make compromises. They should each be supportive of things that make the other happy (assuming they are safe and legal!). Obviously it is important to pay bills, have savings and retirement funds, etc. first. But when there is discretionary income, one person should not control all the money. And it has nothing to do with who makes how much, as far as I am concerned. My contributions to our family were nothing compared to my husband's financially, but they certainly were as important as I did a lot more of raising of the children and taking care of things at home. In a healthy marriage, there should be equality and it has nothing to do with who earns the most money, in my opinion. I do respect my husband and would not go against something he felt strongly about. But I really can't ever remember asking about buying something when he said no. I am generally a saver and do not waste money in other ways, so he knows I only splurge occasionally for jewelry!

 

[Dancing Fire]

DF..you are funny!

I feel like in a marriage, both people have to occasionally make compromises. They should each be supportive of things that make the other happy (assuming they are safe and legal!). Obviously it is important to pay bills, have savings and retirement funds, etc. first. But when there is discretionary income, one person should not control all the money. And it has nothing to do with who makes how much, as far as I am concerned. My contributions to our family were nothing compared to my husband's financially, but they certainly were as important as I did a lot more of raising of the children and taking care of things at home. In a healthy marriage, there should be equality and it has nothing to do with who earns the most money, in my opinion. I do respect my husband and would not go against something he felt strongly about. But I really can't ever remember asking about buying something when he said no. I am generally a saver and do not waste money in other ways, so he knows I only splurge occasionally for jewelry!

My wife said... the one who earns more money makes the rules...

 

[jaysonsmom]

Technically, the upgrades were paid by our joint account, but I make over double what my husband makes so I called the shots. I just tell him....bonus coming in March, time for an upgrade

However, I don't usually upgrade jewelry (much), I also upgrade appliances, car, house. This year I have plans to upgrade earrings, windows and fridge.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Once we were married we knew we would be pooling almost all of our money so there would be no "mine" or "his". That being said, we agreed upon how much we spent on the upgrade. Anything "big" we buy is a mutual decision.

 

[heididdl]

We have three kids in college and I just got my teaching certificate so wwwwwwwith 4 tuitins to pay we are not really in he position to upgrade anything. That being said since I am selfish I decided if I want a project (like I just got ID j earring jackets) I sell stuff on ebay and pooled together holiiay and birthday gifts. I also have n extensive Barbie and Liddle kiddle kollection and I sell dolls give the family fund 1/2 and safe half for my projects.

My husband sort of deals with me although he probably would be happier if more of the money would go towards our loans et al. However after 28 years of marriage he gets me.....I'm lucky.

ps My husband travels a lot (by car we are in hobby supply business( and I bake every trip he goes and leave him little love notes and send thing for him to arrive at hotel...

 

[anne_h]

My husband paid for my e-ring stone upgrade out of an unexpected windfall he made on a stock he'd held for many years. It was very generous of him.

I wanted a custom hand-forged setting for the new stone, so I paid for that myself.

All my other jewelry (and I've amassed a little collection by now), I've paid for myself.

I earn more and our finances have always been separate. Works for us!

Good luck working out your upgrade with your partner. I say there is nothing wrong in contributing to your upgrade if you want to / can afford to, whatever works!

Anne

 

[golfwidow]

Agree with PPs, income is for the household so we decide purchases together and our money buys them. But we both work and make similar income so thankfully it's never been much of an argument for us. However I will say that I pushed hard for my $3000 reset right around the time he was spending approx that amount on fancy add-ons to his Jeep, so it was understood that when we replenished our slush fund over time, the next purchase would be for me! No arguments!

 

[LLJsmom]

"WE" did. Everything is pooled. I Just do more of the spending part of the equation. Seriously, one day, I just decided I deserved it and bought it. He found out when I told him the wiring instructions. LOL!!

 

[minidancer]

"who paid for your upgrade?"

My clients!

I agree wholeheartedly with DS that, with discretionary income, one person should not control all the money & equality and it has nothing to do with who earns the most money.

 

[Dancing Fire]

"who paid for your upgrade?"

My clients!

.. don't forget your Porsche too..

 

[retrogamer]

I didn't get an upgrade, but my wife did and it came out of our shared account ( we don't use the terms his or her money; it's OUR money)