Vent/Rage of the day thread

[azstonie]

MoZo, so glad to hear of the benign test results!!! Even though most colon polyps are benign, and if they were cancerous they are usually precancerous, still the mind goes places during the waiting-for-test-results period of time. Glad your are in tip top health!!

Watch out for those sharp knives!!!

 

[momhappy]

Glad to hear about your test results MZ

I'm starting to get nervous about some of my in-laws moving here. The father-in-law will have no friends and will not care to make any (he's pretty antisocial), which means that his sole source of entertainment will be my husband, who's already too busy as it is!!! Mother-in-law is asking about homes right in our neighborhood (in fact, right down the darn street!) and I'm feeling like that's too close for comfort. Also, with them living here, that means the dreaded sister-in-law will be visiting here several times a year I'm really starting to feel overwhelmed and there's nothing more I can do. I've already expressed my concerns to DH (several times) and he doesn't see an issue with them living so close. Gulp. Guess I've got to pull up my big girl panties and suck it up

 

[soocool]

Love my sister more than anything and feel for what she has been going through healthwise for the past year. She is much much better, but she relies on me solely for all her support. She has 3 sons and a husband, who she feels do not understand what she has been through and yet they expect so much from her. I have to listen to her and she expects me to talk to her spouse and kids. And since she is not able to watch her grandkids at times, my nephew expects me to drop everything to help them out. Quite frankly, I am exhausted from all of this and in the last few weeks rarely turn on my cell phone because I just don't want to hear her voice or being asked to watch her grandkids. I can't say anything to her, because she cries and tells me that she does not know what she would do without me. I am just getting so burned out that I have planned to go visit DD at college and stay with her for a couple of weeks. My DH fully supports this, but I have not told my sister. I leave next week and am trying to find a nice way to tell her.

 

[momhappy]

Sorry to hear that soocool What you've described sounds exhausting. It certainly sounds like you could use a much needed break, so I'm glad to hear that you're getting away - even though it's going to be difficult to tell your sister.

 

[soocool]

Sorry to hear that soocool What you've described sounds exhausting. It certainly sounds like you could use a much needed break, so I'm glad to hear that you're getting away - even though it's going to be difficult to tell your sister.

Called my sister after lunch and told her. She seemed ok. Then her DH called me and asked if she could come with me. I was firm and said as much as I would love to, I need this "me" time with DD and that I will plan a getaway with my sister for a later date. He did not seem too happy about that, but did not push the subject. I feel a great deal of relief at this moment and am looking forward to some time away.

 

[junebug17]

Sorry to hear that soocool What you've described sounds exhausting. It certainly sounds like you could use a much needed break, so I'm glad to hear that you're getting away - even though it's going to be difficult to tell your sister.

Called my sister after lunch and told her. She seemed ok. Then her DH called me and asked if she could come with me. I was firm and said as much as I would love to, I need this "me" time with DD and that I will plan a getaway with my sister for a later date. He did not seem too happy about that, but did not push the subject. I feel a great deal of relief at this moment and am looking forward to some time away.

Soocool, I just want to say I admire you for sticking to your guns and not being swayed by family - I know it wasn't easy but you did the right thing and you absolutely deserve to live your own life and get away on your own once in a while. You are a fantastic sister who does a great deal to help out her family, but those family members have to realize they can't be so dependent on you and this will help them see that. Enjoy your trip to the fullest, you deserve it!

 

[movie zombie]

good for you, soocool!
you need to take care of yourself and your relationships with your DD and DH as well.
only if you are rested and refreshed will you be able to be there for the others.

I can't believe her DH called you!
it is an indication of too much reliance upon you.
is there a way for your sister to go to counseling and/or join a support group of some kind?
do they belong to a church?
just throwing out ideas as to how they might be able to expand their support network......

 

[tyty333]

Sorry to hear that soocool What you've described sounds exhausting. It certainly sounds like you could use a much needed break, so I'm glad to hear that you're getting away - even though it's going to be difficult to tell your sister.

Called my sister after lunch and told her. She seemed ok. Then her DH called me and asked if she could come with me. I was firm and said as much as I would love to, I need this "me" time with DD and that I will plan a getaway with my sister for a later date. He did not seem too happy about that, but did not push the subject. I feel a great deal of relief at this moment and am looking forward to some time away.

Wow, I hope you told him that the whole reason you needed to get away was because him and his sons were relying on their
wife/mom too much and you were burnt out trying to support all of them. I guess that would have been rude but I'm not sure
if I could have helped myself.

You must be superwomen to be so polite and supportive!

Edit - I agree with movie zombie. She needs to find a counselor that will help her stand up for herself. It's ok to say "No".

 

[blackprophet]

Not sure if this is the right place but...

So My FI's family decided to plan a surprise wedding shower for her. (Full disclosure, I have been against the idea of it being a surprise from the beginning).

So if you are going to plan a surprise, you need to take all options into account.

Everyone knows that for the shower her best friends are coming from out of town, whom she only sees once a year at most. Everyone knows that my FI likes to get dressed up, get her hair done, dress and accessories to match, for big events (whats bigger than your own wedding shower, other than the wedding). And everyone should know that she has strong opinions and know what she wants.

Yet no one thought to consult her first (they were going to plan it without including her at all, but I had to shut that down)
No one thought to organize her friends flights so they could come and she could get time to hang with them, other than the few hours at the shower.
No one thought to get her to organize her dress and accessories.

And the kicker today was "Why is she trying to throw a wrench into our plans by wanting to get her hair done?"


The shower is next week Saturday.

Luckily I've been there to, you know, ACTUALLY CONSIDER WHAT THE BRIDE MAY WANT OR WHAT SHE WILL NEED.


Rant over.

 

[soocool]

Sorry to hear that soocool What you've described sounds exhausting. It certainly sounds like you could use a much needed break, so I'm glad to hear that you're getting away - even though it's going to be difficult to tell your sister.

Called my sister after lunch and told her. She seemed ok. Then her DH called me and asked if she could come with me. I was firm and said as much as I would love to, I need this "me" time with DD and that I will plan a getaway with my sister for a later date. He did not seem too happy about that, but did not push the subject. I feel a great deal of relief at this moment and am looking forward to some time away.

Wow, I hope you told him that the whole reason you needed to get away was because him and his sons were relying on their
wife/mom too much and you were burnt out trying to support all of them. I guess that would have been rude but I'm not sure
if I could have helped myself.

You must be superwomen to be so polite and supportive!

Edit - I agree with movie zombie. She needs to find a counselor that will help her stand up for herself. It's ok to say "No".

Yeah, I cannot be rude to my family. She is my big sister and was always the bossy older sister and while I am not rude, I usually do what I want and being my sister, she knows that. When you have lived with a houseful full of men (her DH and 3 sons), they are all like little boys even though the youngest is almost 21. I think she would have wanted to spend time with the girls (me and DD) and I understand and I am sure she understands even though I do not have to tell her. It is a sister thing. I am sure I will feel guilty while I am away and even vent to my DD during my visit. My sister is a lot like my mom, who felt she could never say "no" to anyone and felt like she has to take care of everyone before taking care of her own needs. I did talk to her DIL (she is a sweetheart), who said she will call her everyday and perhaps take her out for lunch without the kids.

 

[junebug17]

Soocool, please please please try very hard not to feel guilty about taking this trip, there is nothing wrong with you doing so. I know you love your sister very much and you want to help her, but she will be ok without you for a bit and you really need this break. I like how you handled this, no need for rudeness, you just told your family what you planned to do, and I think you sent a message by doing that.

 

[azstonie]

Not sure if this is the right place but...

So My FI's family decided to plan a surprise wedding shower for her. (Full disclosure, I have been against the idea of it being a surprise from the beginning).

So if you are going to plan a surprise, you need to take all options into account.

Everyone knows that for the shower her best friends are coming from out of town, whom she only sees once a year at most. Everyone knows that my FI likes to get dressed up, get her hair done, dress and accessories to match, for big events (whats bigger than your own wedding shower, other than the wedding). And everyone should know that she has strong opinions and know what she wants.

Yet no one thought to consult her first (they were going to plan it without including her at all, but I had to shut that down)
No one thought to organize her friends flights so they could come and she could get time to hang with them, other than the few hours at the shower.
No one thought to get her to organize her dress and accessories.

And the kicker today was "Why is she trying to throw a wrench into our plans by wanting to get her hair done?"


The shower is next week Saturday.

Luckily I've been there to, you know, ACTUALLY CONSIDER WHAT THE BRIDE MAY WANT OR WHAT SHE WILL NEED.


Rant over.

Oh.My.Goodness.

No, you're right, these are not 'surprises' your FI is going to enjoy.

So did you bring her up to speed?

 

[Rena7]

Not sure if this is the right place but...

So My FI's family decided to plan a surprise wedding shower for her. (Full disclosure, I have been against the idea of it being a surprise from the beginning).

So if you are going to plan a surprise, you need to take all options into account.

Everyone knows that for the shower her best friends are coming from out of town, whom she only sees once a year at most. Everyone knows that my FI likes to get dressed up, get her hair done, dress and accessories to match, for big events (whats bigger than your own wedding shower, other than the wedding). And everyone should know that she has strong opinions and know what she wants.

Yet no one thought to consult her first (they were going to plan it without including her at all, but I had to shut that down)
No one thought to organize her friends flights so they could come and she could get time to hang with them, other than the few hours at the shower.
No one thought to get her to organize her dress and accessories.

And the kicker today was "Why is she trying to throw a wrench into our plans by wanting to get her hair done?"


The shower is next week Saturday.

Luckily I've been there to, you know, ACTUALLY CONSIDER WHAT THE BRIDE MAY WANT OR WHAT SHE WILL NEED.


Rant over.

Oh.My.Goodness.

No, you're right, these are not 'surprises' your FI is going to enjoy.

So did you bring her up to speed?

I agree, I hate those kind of surprises.

 

[blackprophet]

Not sure if this is the right place but...

So My FI's family decided to plan a surprise wedding shower for her. (Full disclosure, I have been against the idea of it being a surprise from the beginning).

So if you are going to plan a surprise, you need to take all options into account.

Everyone knows that for the shower her best friends are coming from out of town, whom she only sees once a year at most. Everyone knows that my FI likes to get dressed up, get her hair done, dress and accessories to match, for big events (whats bigger than your own wedding shower, other than the wedding). And everyone should know that she has strong opinions and know what she wants.

Yet no one thought to consult her first (they were going to plan it without including her at all, but I had to shut that down)
No one thought to organize her friends flights so they could come and she could get time to hang with them, other than the few hours at the shower.
No one thought to get her to organize her dress and accessories.

And the kicker today was "Why is she trying to throw a wrench into our plans by wanting to get her hair done?"


The shower is next week Saturday.

Luckily I've been there to, you know, ACTUALLY CONSIDER WHAT THE BRIDE MAY WANT OR WHAT SHE WILL NEED.


Rant over.

Oh.My.Goodness.

No, you're right, these are not 'surprises' your FI is going to enjoy.

So did you bring her up to speed?

Luckily my FMIL let the cat half out of the bag, so they were forced to consult her on what she wanted for the actual shower. Its still a surprise but she thinks its a month later than it actually is.

I convinced them to acutally let her see her friends when they get here, but she will think they are here for her birthday (which is the Monday after the shower)

Because they included her, she got her dress. And I've taken it upon myself to get someone to do her hair. The only question mark left is the accessories. That might take care of itself though.

Much better place than we were a few months ago.

 

[LLJsmom]

Why are nouns being turned into verbs and vice versa. Example. "That is a major fail." FAILURE.

Why do people say "uh huh" when someone says "thank you"? Whatever happened to "you are welcome"? Whatever happened to "yes please" and "no thank you"? It's "I'm good." What are you good at? I have to constantly correct my children. It's no wonder. I get this at work from younger co-workers all the time. Bugs the sh!t out of me.

 

[azstonie]

Why are nouns being turned into verbs and vice versa. Example. "That is a major fail." FAILURE.

Why do people say "uh huh" when someone says "thank you"? Whatever happened to "you are welcome"? Whatever happened to "yes please" and "no thank you"? It's "I'm good." What are you good at? I have to constantly correct my children. It's no wonder. I get this at work from younger co-workers all the time. Bugs the sh!t out of me.

YES to all of that. It's everywhere---retail, my doctor's office, neighbors, you name it. I always think places where "Thank you" is not countered with either "No, thank YOU for your business" or "You're Welcome!" have not trained their staff about what a *client* is and why one should care about them. The onus isn't on the client to be the first "thank you," LOL, but that seems to escape people too now.

 

[VRBeauty]

I'm watching the season finale of The Taste - one of my guilty pleasures. I'll admit that didn't catch all of the earlier episodes. But, with the episodes that I did catch, it seems it was always a woman delivering the spoons to the judges. Now that it's the finale, however... it's a man. What's up with that?

 

[MisterMadelise]

Spent forever trying to figure out the password to this account. Couldn't figure out password reset because for some reason, my screen name and my email didn't exist.



Madelise remembered my screen name wrong.

 

[monarch64]

Why are nouns being turned into verbs and vice versa. Example. "That is a major fail." FAILURE.

Why do people say "uh huh" when someone says "thank you"? Whatever happened to "you are welcome"? Whatever happened to "yes please" and "no thank you"? It's "I'm good." What are you good at? I have to constantly correct my children. It's no wonder. I get this at work from younger co-workers all the time. Bugs the sh!t out of me.

YES to all of that. It's everywhere---retail, my doctor's office, neighbors, you name it. I always think places where "Thank you" is not countered with either "No, thank YOU for your business" or "You're Welcome!" have not trained their staff about what a *client* is and why one should care about them. The onus isn't on the client to be the first "thank you," LOL, but that seems to escape people too now.

Seconding (or thirding) this sentiment! I cannot stand when I make a live transaction anywhere (bank, retail store, etc.) and the cashier doesn't say "thank you." I always thank the person behind the counter, and EXPECT to be thanked for doing business with them. When I am not thanked, but given a brusque "uh-huh" or "mm," I am really displeased and typically walk out thinking I do not want to shop/do business with them again. I'm not sure what happened to manners in the business place, but it is certain they've gone down the drain. Employees of these establishments are not being trained correctly, in my opinion. During my own retail career, it was stressed ALWAYS that as an employee of a company, one never lets the customer leave without thanking them for their business, period. Without the customer, there is no business. Bottom line. So, even when I pay for my groceries, I expect the cashier to say "thank you," because although it's an everyday task, I am still spending my hard-earned dollars at your business, and I deserve to hear that sentiment, ya know? Still, it seems I am the one thanking them and not even hearing a "you're welcome." Gah. Maybe I'm just getting old?

 

[missy]

Why are nouns being turned into verbs and vice versa. Example. "That is a major fail." FAILURE.

Why do people say "uh huh" when someone says "thank you"? Whatever happened to "you are welcome"? Whatever happened to "yes please" and "no thank you"? It's "I'm good." What are you good at? I have to constantly correct my children. It's no wonder. I get this at work from younger co-workers all the time. Bugs the sh!t out of me.

YES to all of that. It's everywhere---retail, my doctor's office, neighbors, you name it. I always think places where "Thank you" is not countered with either "No, thank YOU for your business" or "You're Welcome!" have not trained their staff about what a *client* is and why one should care about them. The onus isn't on the client to be the first "thank you," LOL, but that seems to escape people too now.

Seconding (or thirding) this sentiment! I cannot stand when I make a live transaction anywhere (bank, retail store, etc.) and the cashier doesn't say "thank you." I always thank the person behind the counter, and EXPECT to be thanked for doing business with them. When I am not thanked, but given a brusque "uh-huh" or "mm," I am really displeased and typically walk out thinking I do not want to shop/do business with them again. I'm not sure what happened to manners in the business place, but it is certain they've gone down the drain. Employees of these establishments are not being trained correctly, in my opinion. During my own retail career, it was stressed ALWAYS that as an employee of a company, one never lets the customer leave without thanking them for their business, period. Without the customer, there is no business. Bottom line. So, even when I pay for my groceries, I expect the cashier to say "thank you," because although it's an everyday task, I am still spending my hard-earned dollars at your business, and I deserve to hear that sentiment, ya know? Still, it seems I am the one thanking them and not even hearing a "you're welcome." Gah. Maybe I'm just getting old?

My pet peeve as well. Common courtesy not so common these days.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My unrealistic expectations inform my vent: I would like to buy-- reasonably priced-- 38T suits off the rack (son is very tall and slender).

Shopping is an exercise in futility, cuz it's not gonna happen, outside of made to measure. Really?

cheers--Sharon

 

[Tacori E-ring]

My vent of the day...my W2 came...unsealed. Obviously there is sensitive material in there (including my SSN). What gives?

 

[swingirl]

HI:

My unrealistic expectations inform my vent: I would like to buy-- reasonably priced-- 38T suits off the rack (son is very tall and slender).

Shopping is an exercise in futility, cuz it's not gonna happen, outside of made to measure. Really?

cheers--Sharon

yes, My son needs this, too. Lots of sizes for big, tall and fat. But tall and slim is not available.

 

[swingirl]

When did "hello" become "hey"? and when did "you are welcome" become "no problem"?

Polite sayings seem to be dying.

 

[Rena7]

HI:

My unrealistic expectations inform my vent: I would like to buy-- reasonably priced-- 38T suits off the rack (son is very tall and slender).

Shopping is an exercise in futility, cuz it's not gonna happen, outside of made to measure. Really?

cheers--Sharon

yes, My son needs this, too. Lots of sizes for big, tall and fat. But tall and slim is not available.

Mine too. What is really bad is he weighed at school the other day and we are about the same weight. I thought I was slim.

 

[Dee*Jay]

When did "hello" become "hey"? and when did "you are welcome" become "no problem"?

Polite sayings seem to be dying.

This may sound hokey, but I saw a motivational speaker may years ago (maybe 1999?) at a sales conference talk about you're welcome/no problem. His monologue was too long (and to eloquent for me to deliver properly) but the upshot was of course it wasn't a problem! And by virtue of saying "no problem" it plants the seed that maybe it WAS a problem. And that takes you down a whole different path mentally. His suggestion for a response when someone thanks you: "My pleasure." From that point forward I have said "my pleasure" (well OK, there have been times when it HASN'T been my pleasure, and then I try to find else appropriate to say), and the responses have been so much more positive.

I had also never heard the phrase "no worries" (as in a response to "I'm sorry," about something minor) until I moved to the Midwest. I remember the first person who ever said to me because it struck me as so odd. Now I hear it all the time -- maybe it's a Midwestern thing?

ETA: And while we're on the topic of phrases (well *I* am anyway!, and this is neither a vent nor a rage, just the rambling of my own mind down the path of vocabulary), another Midwestern thing that always strikes me as strange is when you ask someone what he/she wants to do for dinner and the response is,"I don't really care, I don't have a taste for anything." A taste for anything...? That is just such weird phraseology to me.

 

[packrat]

Dee*Jay, they say "my pleasure" at Chik fil-A. We'd never heard it before and thought it was nice. We even tried a couple different workers, asking for refills and such, thinking maybe it was just the one we ordered with at the counter, but they all did it.

What part of the Midwest are you in? I wonder if the "taste" thing is specific to a more certain area? Here is more "feeling", what are you feeling like or what do you feel like.

Shoot, I better have a vent/rage to voice. I made appts for more tattoo work for my husband and myself back in November, for February. I emailed the other day to confirm again aaaaaand they're not on there. So now my husband has to call and see what happened and if the artists can still get us in. Otherwise I have to wait until probably June. And this angers me.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Packrat, I'm in downtown Chicago. I grew up in Pittsburgh (which I was surprised to hear referred to as part of the Midwest in some contexts) and I don't remember those phrases until I got here back in '88.

I hope they can get your appointments straightened out! It's so annoying when you set something up -- and look forward to it! -- and then this happens.

 

[movie zombie]

re "no worries": my AU in-laws use it a lot.

 

[momhappy]

My vent of the day:
DH on phone to pro shop: "I'd like to make an 11 o'clock tee time"
*hangs up phone*
DH to me/wife: "Do you mind if I golf today?"

This has been an ongoing issue for years - DH making plans and then checking to see if it's okay. It's the assumption that I'll be here to watch the kids just any old darn time he needs that's irritating. Grrrr…
Ok, I feel better. Vent over. Thanks for letting me share