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Canceling on a sick babysitter- do I pay her?

Logan Sapphire

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 5, 2003
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2,405
We were supposed to get a sitter for tomorrow night; however, I saw on her FB page that she's getting sick- feeling drained, warm, and chills. One of my kids is recovering from strep and both were very sick over the holidays. I desperately need to keep them well because we're going to Disney in two weeks.

The sitter has not reached out to me to cancel. If I cancel on her, should I still pay her because she reserved the time for us?
 

OreoRosies86

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Offering to pay would be the nice thing to do, but she probably wouldn't take you up on it. I wouldn't mention her not feeling well, no need. I definitely agree that keeping the little ones healthy is priority #1, especially before a big trip!
 

ame

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I'd cancel under the premise that C is still under the weather and offer the payment bec of short notice.
 

missy

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Hi Logan Sapphire, I would call her and tell her you understand that she is not feeling 100% well and you do not want to risk your LOs health so you are sorry but decided you do not want her to babysit for you tomorrow. That is perfectly understandable as your children are your first priority.

If I was the babysitter and her age I would absolutely not take any money from you since I was not going to be babysitting because I was sick and through no fault of yours. I mean it is not a job with benefits yanno?

BUT if you were canceling on her because of last minute change of your plans then I as the parent would insist on paying her. However you are not canceling for that reason but because she is sick so presumably she would not be working babysitting for anyone tomorrow since she is sick so you have not cost her anything if that makes sense.

Hope that makes sense and hope you can find a babysitter replacement so you can still go out.
 

Circe

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I might mention general health concerns if you two are actively facebook friends ... otherwise I would probably keep it to mentioning your kids' health and make the offer. You're right that she should be the one reaching out and that you shouldn't have to be paying her ... but if she's a good babysitter and you think you want to use her in the future, well, probably not worth the conflict.
 

azstonie

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I have a cherished dogsitter---without her, I cannot go out of town. When I have to cancel on her (my Westie, Finn, was really ill) I text her to cancel and I tell her that $ are coming to her via the USPS. She always refuses the $, I always send her the cash.

Dogsitter is 26 and wonderful. I don't worry when she's here. Someday, she will want to scale back on the dogsitting and I want to be a keeper!

That said, the health issue of the babysitter, I would probably call and ask her if she is well. If she hesitates or qualifies, I would tell her to rest up and feel better soon, cancel, and send her some $ (half at least?) in a card.

But that's just me. I like to err on the side of keeping the relationship going IF I like the service.
 

telephone89

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A few options.

Are you actually friends with her on fb or just creeping? If you are friends with her, I would call her up and tell her that you saw she is not feeling well, and that she should rest up and hope she feels better soon. Wouldn't offer any money.

If you are just creeping and saw this, I would call her up and say that your kids are sick, and that you would need to cancel. You can judge from there if you want to offer anything. She might say 'Oh that is great! I'm feeling terrible too' and you can leave it at that, or if the reaction is more 'Oh bummer, I really needed the $50' (or something similar, obv exaggeration there) then you can offer to still pay.

Either way, I wouldn't want her babysitting to a) infect your kids or b) your kids infect her!
 

Logan Sapphire

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I'm not a creeper! I'm friends with her on FB!

I ended up telling her my daughter is sick and that we would be happy to pay her anyway. She replied to not worry about it, but then she sent a text to another friend (who's going to the same event as I am) asking if she needed a sitter; the friend reported this, not the sitter. I felt badly and my husband had been in favor of paying her the full amount, so I told her that I insisted that she take 1/2. She put up a little fight but I prevailed in the end.
 

VRBeauty

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Logan Sapphire|1421435219|3817546 said:
I'm not a creeper! I'm friends with her on FB!

I ended up telling her my daughter is sick and that we would be happy to pay her anyway. She replied to not worry about it, but then she sent a text to another friend (who's going to the same event as I am) asking if she needed a sitter; the friend reported this, not the sitter. I felt badly and my husband had been in favor of paying her the full amount, so I told her that I insisted that she take 1/2. She put up a little fight but I prevailed in the end.

I didn't respond earlier because I was conflicted about what to do. I was a teenage baby-sitter ( ;)) ) and I know how important that extra income is to teenager. But... her reaction troubles me, and makes me thing that question of her health and fitness for baby-sitting should have been addressed head-on. She's still a kid, and the baby-sitting gig isn't just a business proposition, it's also a learning experience for her. Part of what she should be learning is that she has to be fit for the job and that she should cancel when she isn't.
 

telephone89

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Logan Sapphire|1421435219|3817546 said:
I'm not a creeper! I'm friends with her on FB!

I ended up telling her my daughter is sick and that we would be happy to pay her anyway. She replied to not worry about it, but then she sent a text to another friend (who's going to the same event as I am) asking if she needed a sitter; the friend reported this, not the sitter. I felt badly and my husband had been in favor of paying her the full amount, so I told her that I insisted that she take 1/2. She put up a little fight but I prevailed in the end.
I wasn't saying it like a bad thing ;-) I creep quite often. Haha.

I'm glad it worked out in the end!
 

Logan Sapphire

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VRBeauty|1421438717|3817595 said:
Logan Sapphire|1421435219|3817546 said:
I'm not a creeper! I'm friends with her on FB!

I ended up telling her my daughter is sick and that we would be happy to pay her anyway. She replied to not worry about it, but then she sent a text to another friend (who's going to the same event as I am) asking if she needed a sitter; the friend reported this, not the sitter. I felt badly and my husband had been in favor of paying her the full amount, so I told her that I insisted that she take 1/2. She put up a little fight but I prevailed in the end.

I didn't respond earlier because I was conflicted about what to do. I was a teenage baby-sitter ( ;)) ) and I know how important that extra income is to teenager. But... her reaction troubles me, and makes me thing that question of her health and fitness for baby-sitting should have been addressed head-on. She's still a kid, and the baby-sitting gig isn't just a business proposition, it's also a learning experience for her. Part of what she should be learning is that she has to be fit for the job and that she should cancel when she isn't.


Ah, perhaps I should've been clearer- she's not a teenager. She's a grown married (but young) woman. I'm betting that she probably didn't want to let us down by canceling herself. She actually used to be one of my kids' daycare providers and now is a nanny. I know she and her husband are struggling for money, unfortunately.

Telephone- I forgot to insert a smiley emoticon when I responded! I actually thought it was funny that you said that and also a good point.
 

ckrickett

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I am kinda feeling the other way. If she is getting sick and not telling you, she could have put your kids at risk of getting sick for some extra money. Since she didn't tell you about it, but you found out through FB, it may make me (this is my own opinion) apprehensive of trusting her in the future. But maybe you got to her before she told you, or maybe it was nothing on her side, and some exaggerations on FB.

I mean If I were to cancel I would have offered her a little money, but it strikes me as off that she didn't tell you she was under the weather.
 

momhappy

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I have never heard of such a thing (paying a sitter if you have to cancel). I think it's very odd to offer to pay someone when the reason you are canceling has nothing to do with you (it has to do with her potentially being sick and infecting your household). IMO your sitter was being irresponsible and I would hope that she would let you know that she might be coming down with something, just like you'd let her know if one of your kids was getting sick.
I've had sitters cancel on us numerous times and we certainly didn't get anything in return, so I really don't understand the concept of paying someone for a job that they probably shouldn't be doing anyways (because they are sick). I get that she might miss out on income for that particular night, but life happens sometimes, especially in that line of work...
 
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