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I don't get why some PSer advise others to wear ...

Autumnovember

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elle_chris|1421329516|3816729 said:
Autumnovember|1421286255|3816522 said:
Elle, I never knew you were Russian! Prevet! Fellow Ruski here too. I'm the opposite though, my family came here with no money at all but I know what you mean about "new Russian" my area, Philadelphia, has tons on new Russian's. I get your perception about new money after reading the explanation.

By the way, I have Russian 'tude too :cheeky:

Since this thread seems to have calmed down, (except of course for that occasional person that keeps begging for my attention :naughty: ) I'd rather post here than continue derailing the other thread.

We tried every protein for him except for the exotics, even did an elimination diet. Turns out it's just environmental. Wish it was the food, would be so much easier.

On that note- we can always start a thread about Bulldogs, Frenchies and all the cute short nosed breeds that seem to come with their own set of health problems.. :(sad


Yeah let's start one. Would love to hear more from bully breed owners, if there are any! There's a good group on fb called "baggy Bulldogs," very informative and tons of cute bully pictures.
 

House Cat

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elle_chris|1421285959|3816521 said:
Thank you, someone who gets it! Appreciate this, Annette.

Autumn, thank you for clarifying. Because you didn't come at me with anger or hostility, your point is noted.

I don't understand why some keep implying that I think cashiers are beneath me, or it's low status job. But it seems to be a recurring theme keeps that gets attributed to me.
As evident in this thread, I have no trouble saying exactly what I think, nor do I hold back. Since I never said anything of the sort, it would be great if you stopped assuming. Cause you know what they say.. :naughty:


I live in NYC (Manhattan). Minimum wage is something like $8 an hour (pre-taxes), apartments here rent (i'm not talking buying) start at something like 2.5k for a 550sqf studio. It's impossible to live here on minimum wage.
I'm sure many reside in the outer boroughs, and while it's less expensive there, it's still not usually doable on minimum wage.

Minimum wage in the US is generally not a livable wage, at least not in the cities.

This isn't about class, position, or anything of the sort. It's an observation, that's all. Sure there's always going to be someones mother, sister, brother, third cousin removed that's independently wealthy and just works for sh*ts and giggles, I get that. But again, that's not the norm.

Circe- I grew up in Brooklyn, near Brighton beach. My parents are also immigrants and my mom (who is an engineer by trade) worked in a textile factory when we first moved here. I don't judge anyone's profession, in fact, I'd be the last person to judge based on my own family history.

But I also grew up with "New Russians" who were notorious for flaunting their (ill-gotten) wealth. The women loved wearing name brands and made sure you knew it. The fact that that half the time it was 2 sizes too small didn't matter. It was on sale, and it's Gucci..lol
Now that was crass. So yeah, that's what new money means to me.

I stand by what I said in my original post. Could I have phrased it differently? Yeah sure- but then it wouldn't have been as much fun..lol.. :angel:
Hey Elle,

I think that's kind of the point. The incidence of a minimum wage worker wearing a 3 carat rock is probably about the same as a wealthy person working "for shits and giggles." This is why I see no need for judgment.

Even if this person isn't independently wealthy or funded by a husband, etc and wearing a large diamond, what harm are they doing to you or any other part of the world? On a fundamental level, why does this person deserve judgment over something so trivial?


I judge, but it takes a moral issue to get me on a high horse, not a fashion accessory. ;))
 

elle_chris

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House Cat|1421332891|3816754 said:
[quote="elle_chris|1421285959|3816521"
:
Hey Elle,

I think that's kind of the point. The incidence of a minimum wage worker wearing a 3 carat rock is probably about the same as a wealthy person working "for shits and giggles." This is why I see no need for judgment.

Even if this person isn't independently wealthy or funded by a husband, etc and wearing a large diamond, what harm are they doing to you or any other part of the world? On a fundamental level, why does this person deserve judgment over something so trivial?


I judge, but it takes a moral issue to get me on a high horse, not a fashion accessory. ;))[/quote]


Oh, I don't disagree with you at all, and at you're right, there's no harm in it. Who cares. That's why I don't understand the hostility exhibited in this thread. I mean think about it-

Do you really think it's more than a fleeting thought? I see something that I perceive as weird and out of place. I think about it for a second or two then move on. It's not something I dwell on, or go home and ponder.
I don't think of her social status, who she's married to, or anything else. In fact, I don't think about her at all.
But for that second, in that moment- yeah, she got the side eye. After that, it's forgotten and I move on.

We all do this at one time or another. Seeing something that makes us look twice, all of us.

So I made a comment about it here. There was a reason I did, it had to do with lifestyle- my lifestyle and I made a point in saying that it plays the biggest role in the jewelry I wear.
Had I known so many people would get their panties in a bunch, I would of thought twice (but done it anyway cause it really is making me laugh). :angel:

Next thing I know I'm being accused of thinking people are beneath me, class get brought into- I'm asked a question, and the ones that can't come up with an argument on their own, try to throw my answers back in my face (witless wonders I tell ya). But the funniest bit, they're doing exactly what they accused me.

But like you said it's trivial. So I'm gonna bring up the same point that I did earlier- a thread was started about Russia violating human rights, 4 responses.
A post about side- eyeing a waitress - 3 pages of angry women throwing up their diamond encrusted fingers and demanding respect for cashiers everywhere who wear LARGE diamonds..lol

You seem like an intelligent women, and I appreciate your post- so you must see how ridiculous this is.
 

LLJsmom

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mochiko42|1421312235|3816671 said:
Dancing Fire|1421303065|3816652 said:
[quote="LLJsmom|


Would it be correct to assume you are from the UK? Luckily, in the US, there are many that do NOT value inherited wealth more than what people have earned. In fact, I would say the US was found on the premise that "all men are created equal". Yay!! It's not about the birth lotto. No offense intended. Just an observation.



:errrr: Really?, then how come women get to wear a bigger rock?.. :confused:

I would question then, why men are supposed to pay for the rock if that is the case. ;P (although my husband and I paid equally for my e-ring, on the premise that our finances are equally shared anyway..)[/quote]
I'm just quoting the Declaration of Independence, stating that was the intent of the founding fathers. If you don't agree with the idea, that is your prerogative. I'm not gonna argue about it.
 

VRBeauty

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LLJsmom|1421336060|3816791 said:
Dancing Fire|1421303065|3816652 said:
:errrr: Really?, then how come women get to wear a bigger rock?.. :confused:

I'm just quoting the Declaration of Independence, stating that was the intent of the founding fathers. If you don't agree with the idea, that is your prerogative. I'm not gonna argue about it.

I think DF posed that question largely to add a little levity to the discussion. ;))

Lighten up, everybody!
 

AprilBaby

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Funny thing; except for my BFF, I don't really know what size rings my other friends have. In general I would tell anyone around here to get 1 ct minimum because that seems the minimum acceptable for the younger girls. Is expecting a certain size acceptable? Probably not. But if you have no idea what to buy and your budget allows it, do it.

If cashiers in NYC pay a minimum 2.5k/ mo for apts why couldn't they afford big rings?

Judging from wedding bee ( which my daughter lives on), and the popularity of the shopping networks, I think many of the "younger" big rocks these days are " not diamonds". ( I'm talking 2plus cts on 20 something's and not all 20 somethings). Nothing wrong with that. If you love your ring who cares what someone else thinks?
 

msop04

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I agree that a 1 ct is pretty much the "acceptable standard" for young girls to get engaged in my area. I think age plays a factor, too... or at least it did for me.

Since I married a little later (at 33), I always joked that my engagement ring went up 0.5 ct every 5 years that I stayed single, and started 1.25 ct for 20 years of age (I didn't want much or anything... :bigsmile: )

I always joke with my husband that he was smart to have proposed when he did -- because 35 would've really cost him! HA!! :lol: :lol: :bigsmile: :halo: #imsoserious ;)) I'm glad he's a good sport... ;))
 

HollyS

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I think, no matter how much we love to see beautiful jewelry, we all have a reasonable idea of what is "appropriate" for our age, our income, our lifestyle, and how we see ourselves. And btw, WE decide what is "appropriate". More often than not, that translates to less than celebrity-sized bling.
 

AGBF

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elle_chris|1421335930|3816789 said:
Do you really think it's more than a fleeting thought? We all do this at one time or another.

So I made a comment about it here.

...​

Next thing I know I'm being accused of thinking people are beneath me

...​

But like you said it's trivial.

So I'm gonna bring up the same point that I did earlier- a thread was started about Russia violating human rights, 4 responses.


I just looked at this thread for the first time today. I should have known that there was a reason it was five pages long ( lovely, nasty fighting!). My first response to all of this was to dislike elle's remark and to like it that monnie spoke up. But then I realized I totally agreed with elle about how important threads (important in my opinion, of course!) get neglected while this got oodles of attention! In my case I thought of the thread about the movie "Selma" and how I had posted to it on "Martin Luther King Day" but gotten a response from no one else. In her case she mentioned a thread on Russian human rights that I did not even see!

I probably would not have noticed a large diamond on a cashier's finger. I will correct that. If I had noticed it, I probably would not have had judgmental thoughts about her. But I have plenty of judgmental thoughts as both kenny and Albert Camus both said we all do. (One has to love l'étranger.)

The thing is, I stifle the impulse to speak or write my judgmental impulses about class. And, unlike kenny, I do not applaud those who are "honest enough" to admit to judging others openly. In fact, if kenny were to look at his logic, I think he might find that it breaks down. He does not always laud those who admit to "judging" openly. He does not, for instance, admire people who judge others for being fat. I try to stifle speaking or writing my judgments out of courtesy for the feeling of others who may be in situations similar to those of the people I would be criticizing, I think. (I am just thinking this out as I write, so bear with me.)

If I were to say I found a certain look cheap or tacky, I might offend other people who wear that look and who hear what I say or read what I write. I find that rude and insensitive. So, although I am certain that I slip up, I prefer not to say it.

Pretty longwinded. elle chris, I appreciate the thought you have put into your responses in this thread.

Deb/AGBF
 

Calliecake

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Deb,

Thank you! I felt very much the same way you do. I would normally not even respond to this thread because I could see where it was going to go. I had one family member unfairly judge another one the day this thread way started. I was not in a good mood and just thought what the heck and posted. I honestly thought some of Elle's comments were made only to belittle others, which I found very rude. I have never worked as a cashier or salesperson but certainly have never felt that I am somehow better than some who does. I have spent years working with CEO's of a Fortune 500 company. I have not seen one of them act as those with a lower paying job were beneath them. Although I am sure they exist.

I, like you have seen many sales people wearing big diamonds in the area I live, I have never thought any thing other than the woman probably loves jewelry. I also found the whole old money vs new money thing ridiculous.
 

Jambalaya

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I agree that we all judge, but I don't agree with judging "openly." What does that mean? That you insult someone to their face? I'm very careful not to let any judgmental feelings I have show, because I wouldn't want to hurt the person's feelings, and because much of the time I know that my internal judgements are unfair, anyway. I know that most people, most of the time, are doing their best, and that they may also be going through a hard time - you just don't know. (For example, maybe they are busy taking their husband to multiple medical appointments in addition to all their other daily responsibilities and that's why they have three inches of dark greasy roots, not because they are blind to how bad it looks.) This is just an example off the top of my head.

I don't agree with being mean to someone who has done nothing to you, if that's what judging openly means. "Truth without kindness is cruelty."
 

Jambalaya

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Calliecake|1421773097|3819355 said:
Deb,

Thank you! I felt very much the same way you do. I would normally not even respond to this thread because I could see where it was going to go. I had one family member unfairly judge another one the day this thread way started. I was not in a good mood and just thought what the heck and posted. I honestly thought some of Elle's comments were made only to belittle others, which I found very rude. I have never worked as a cashier or salesperson but certainly have never felt that I am somehow better than some who does. I have spent years working with CEO's of a Fortune 500 company. I have not seen one of them act as those with a lower paying job were beneath them. Although I am sure they exist.

I, like you have seen many sales people wearing big diamonds in the area I live, I have never thought any thing other than the woman probably loves jewelry. I also found the whole old money vs new money thing ridiculous.

I've known at least one person who was very money-oriented and looked down his nose at people without money. He also only dated or married women with money. He was my former boss, and it took a few years of knowing him to see which way his moral compass was pointing. These people do exist. I don't think he came from money, actually. But wearing a Cartier watch would have him taking you very seriously. Yeah, he was that shallow.

I'd love to hear about the experiences of someone who had nothing and then became really rich and famous - the obvious person who springs to mind is Stephanie Meyer who wrote Twilight, or the Harry Potter author. I wonder if they have had the same person treat them totally differently before and after.
 

D_

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Oh wow, what is this world out here? This can be much more fun than hanging in RockyTalky :D

People say the way we look at other people is a reflection of how we are.
I agree with Elle that people (unfortunately) judge.
And although I prefer if people who judge be upfront about it, the tendency to judge itself doesn't need to be the status quo.

And granted - at least I think - that certain jobs/situations and big bling2s don't go well together (e.g. social workers/people working with the have nots etc., wearing luxury items in front of people who may not even have their basic needs covered can show disconnect from the essence of the work itself). But grocery store cashiers, waitresses and other retail workers? It may seem odd now, but the world may become more liberal and this all may be normal in a not too distant future.

I agree with Madelise, I suspect it's a case of jealousy. Not jealous of the job or anything, because Elle has made a point that she earns a better living. She strikes me as a no nonsense, hardworker person and someone with good taste. So when she sees a cashier sporting expensive looking jewelry, perhaps it evokes such a response from her because she feels like it's an attack to her existence "if a cashier can own such jewelry, what's the point of me busting my ass off my entire life to get to where I am now?" It creates cognitive dissonance. Then her mind tries to rationalize it by thinking that either it's fake or they've gotten it by doing something/someone. That way, it puts her back on a moral high ground "at least mine is genuine" or "I would never do someone just to get expensive jewelry. I AM better than that." That would also explain why she gets a tad defensive when people with low colour diamonds say that the colour is not too bad/too yellow/too noticeably different from higher colour ones ("oh no, they are different alright. Don't you even dare. Otherwise let's all just buy low colour diamonds and save $$$. I didn't spend extra $$$ to get a G just to get something that looks not too different from a J. I am not stupid.")

This feeling is normal. I often feel that way too on other matters. And yes, that may be what a lot of people, more than those who care to admit, think when they see such situation. But just because a lot of people do it doesn't mean it's an OK thing to do. And there is a difference in being honest and having insufficient tact. After all we don't go around telling everyone what is really in our head every time, right? Fortunately there is internet for that where we can hide behind a veil of anonymity. I always prided myself for being really candid, until I realize that tact is a skill we acquire as we enter adulthood. Kids on the hand, may still be able to always say what's on their mind without fear of too much repercussion. I believe that's the reason she doesn't ask the cashier directly "how did you get the ring?" Or maybe she should have asked the next time you see one, because you know what they say about making assumptions? ;-)
 
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