I hate Christmas/I LOVE Christmas

[WinkHPD]

It seems I go through this in one way or another every year.

Life gets unbelievably busy every year starting in Late October and builds to a fever frenzy by mid December. It's always something. One year horrible storms messed up shipping and we "ruined" several Christmases for clients who did not care that it was the fault of weather and both FedEx and UPS deciding that the lives of their pilots were more important than trying to deliver their gifts on time. (To be fair, most of the clients fully understood and were very happy when their tardy gifts were delivered, they just were not the ones making all the noise.)

Let's not forget those that do not order that custom ring until the deadline for shipping is only seven to ten working days away, and we normally take at least two full weeks even for a simple job so that we can do quality control during the time frame. This year we had three that called or emailed with five working days left.

By the time the last week arrives I am in the depth of my annual throes of how much I hate Christmas, especially when my beleaguered wife gets home and asks me if she should just go ahead and do all the shopping or have I even thought of it yet? Since I am working ten to twelve hours per day, you know the answer I give and the angst that engenders.

Then at last, Christmas Eve is here. I have delivered all that is going to be delivered and am usually ready to leave the office by noon or one at at the latest. I have talked with those that are going to get their gifts late, thankfully none most years, including this year. I have watched the tracking numbers of those who are to get their packages and checked them all off as delivered, ahhh!

This year, my Christmas funk started to lift on Sunday evening when my daughter and her husband and my granddaughter arrived. It was to be the beginning of a week filled with family and children playing together when my son's three kids gathered round Ellie Lou and vied for her attention. (She is only 19 months old and cuter than can be.)

Finally, yesterday, I finished writing checks, making deposits and checking off my list of delivered packages and the weight of responsibility left my shoulders. I suddenly felt renewed and gave myself over to making Christmas Eve dinner. I gave the kitchen a quick organizing, taking all of my clutter off the kitchen table and then cleaning also the dining room table. (There is a LOT of excess paper now on the guest room bed!) I put the extra leaf in the living room table and turned on the Christmas tree lights.

Next I put in a large prime rib roast to cook and cleaned out the dishwasher and loaded the morning's dishes in. I shelled the shrimp I cooked the night before and cut up some smoked duck breast into bite sized pieces and made shrimp dipping sauce, both with and without spicing for those who like to eat their shrimp without the sudden burning thrill of my heavy handed spicing. While I was making the sweet hot mustard for the duck my wife arrived home from her work and set the table cloth on the dining room table and then got out the fine china. Soon all was ready for the arrival of our family, which lacked only a couple of hours during which the house would take on the wonderful promise of unearthly joy and the smell of cooking prime rib.

Resa opted for a quick nap while I noodled about making everything more perfect, way too excited to sleep. Soon I filled a glass with champagne and was just starting down the stairs to wake Resa when up she came looking like a dream in an incredible black and white blouse that looked like something out of heaven's own closet. We sat and sipped and I got a crink in my neck from constantly looking out the window to catch site of my families arriving. It was raining and yucky and I had a huge umbrella that one of my suppliers had sent me for Christmas and I wanted to run down and offer a dry escort service from driveway to front porch.

Finally they were there and then all to quickly, after an incredible evening of fun and laughter and the children all opening one gift, they were gone leaving Resa and I for a short hour before we went to sleep to wait for Christmas morning. Did I mention that everyone of the adults and two of the children pitched in on clean up and it was done in an unbelievably short time?

We woke to the snow that had been falling when the children left still being on the ground and drove to my son's house where we shared Christmas morning, all of the gift opening, and a wonderful brunch. (Wisely served on paper plates. Now THAT! is the way to shorten clean up.)

More laughter, more hugs, more smiles, and in a few more hours Resa and I will go back for yet another full family dinner.

Did I mention how much I LOVE Christmas? It is my favorite time of the year.

Wink

 

[AprilBaby]

Merry Christmas Wink! I have mixed feelings on Christmas. I remember the Christmas we had as kids and realize everyone I loved is long gone. It brings a lot of sadness. My kids are grown and this is the first year we are all alone. We had dinner with the family and new grand baby Christmas eve. No presents under the tree, no excited kids in the morning. We went out for breakfast and I put a roast in the crock pot. Very quiet indeed. I can't wait for it to be over.

 

[tyty333]

Sounds like a wonderful Christmas eve! I would be dead exhausted after the xmas rush you go through!!!

Merry Christmas!

 

[kenny]

Years ago this day was torture.
Now it's pleasant.

I just do the minimum.
If not for my SO I'd do zero.

 

[cflutist]

Merry Christmas Wink! I have mixed feelings on Christmas. I remember the Christmas we had as kids and realize everyone I loved is long gone. It brings a lot of sadness. My kids are grown and this is the first year we are all alone. We had dinner with the family and new grand baby Christmas eve. No presents under the tree, no excited kids in the morning. We went out for breakfast and I put a roast in the crock pot. Very quiet indeed. I can't wait for it to be over.

Merry Christmas Wink and April.

Don't want to be bah humbug, but it sounds like our Christmas so far.
My mother is deceased as is hubby's father.
We cannot visit my father because my stepmother does not allow any of us grown kids in her house (she was previously
married to my mother's brother which ended in divorce, and hates all of us kids).
My sister has written me out of her life. I should write a book.

So it is just hubby and myself. We didn't even bother to take out the fine china nor crystal stemware for the dining room
but ate boneless rib eye roast from the kitchen breakfast bar last night. It also makes me sad to see all of the out-of-town vehicles parked in our neighbors' driveways.

This morning, Christmas morning, we were so bored that we went into the local police department (where we volunteer) to work.
And after reading cases where crooks broke into victims' cars to steal wrapped Christmas gifts, that brought even more sadness.
I am misty eyed just typing this.

But Merry Christmas to the rest of the PS family. May you have wonderful celebrations with your families.
A special big Cyber-Hug to April.

 

[VRBeauty]

It's been a difficult year and it's a difficult Christmas. But there are also bright spots - my brother who's been very ill made it to the family home for Christmas, my nephews are growing up and taking on more responsibility with less prodding, my SILs put up the Christmas tree last night even though everyone was tired.

Did I mention that we forgot to take the ham out of the freezer until just an hour or two ago? And that we have guests coming over for dinner? I'm really hoping the cold water defrost method works!

 

[ame]

I love the paying forward part of the holiday. I hate the drama and usually the weather I am so glad you had a nice holiday so far though Wink. You're a gem, seriously!

 

[JanesJewels]

I'm with Aprilbaby. My Christmases will never be the same with my mother dead, all my grandparents long dead, and my uncle and my sister-in-law gone, too. Christmas is a reminder that I can never go home again. I often spend it with the odds and ends of my husband's extended family and whatever odds and ends they choose bring along, so it's just a bunch of strangers I could care less about. It's a far cry from my Christmases at home where the family had lived since the Sixties. Mom would use the same decorations that she'd use for decades, and she'd have Christmas Eve rituals, and there'd be a proper Christmas dinner with all the fixings, and...I could go on. My Christmases are just weird these days, and nothing can bring the old days back. I don't hate it exactly, but it's not much to write home about either.

 

[AprilBaby]

Merry Christmas Wink! I have mixed feelings on Christmas. I remember the Christmas we had as kids and realize everyone I loved is long gone. It brings a lot of sadness. My kids are grown and this is the first year we are all alone. We had dinner with the family and new grand baby Christmas eve. No presents under the tree, no excited kids in the morning. We went out for breakfast and I put a roast in the crock pot. Very quiet indeed. I can't wait for it to be over.

Merry Christmas Wink and April.

Don't want to be bah humbug, but it sounds like our Christmas so far.
My mother is deceased as is hubby's father.
We cannot visit my father because my stepmother does not allow any of us grown kids in her house (she was previously
married to my mother's brother which ended in divorce, and hates all of us kids).
My sister has written me out of her life. I should write a book.

So it is just hubby and myself. We didn't even bother to take out the fine china nor crystal stemware for the dining room
but ate boneless rib eye roast from the kitchen breakfast bar last night. It also makes me sad to see all of the out-of-town vehicles parked in our neighbors' driveways.

This morning, Christmas morning, we were so bored that we went into the local police department (where we volunteer) to work.
And after reading cases where crooks broke into victims' cars to steal wrapped Christmas gifts, that brought even more sadness.
I am misty eyed just typing this.

But Merry Christmas to the rest of the PS family. May you have wonderful celebrations with your families.
A special big Cyber-Hug to April.

Hugs back to you! We watched a movie and then ate our roast. Agreed, hard to watch other people's parties. I take xanex this time of the year to get thru the anxiety the holiday brings. Hope you had a good day! Tomorrow starts another year till we do it again!

 

[AprilBaby]

I'm with Aprilbaby. My Christmases will never be the same with my mother dead, all my grandparents long dead, and my uncle and my sister-in-law gone, too. Christmas is a reminder that I can never go home again. I often spend it with the odds and ends of my husband's extended family and whatever odds and ends they choose bring along, so it's just a bunch of strangers I could care less about. It's a far cry from my Christmases at home where the family had lived since the Sixties. Mom would use the same decorations that she'd use for decades, and she'd have Christmas Eve rituals, and there'd be a proper Christmas dinner with all the fixings, and...I could go on. My Christmases are just weird these days, and nothing can bring the old days back. I don't hate it exactly, but it's not much to write home about either.

I so get it. Hope your day was peaceful! You are right, you can't go home again. I don't have the energy to start my own traditions but I realize that's what we need to do!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Merry Christmas Wink! I am glad all went well for you this year. This year we have 4 of our 5 kids home. The one that is missing is always a heartache for me but I am thankful for the four. I feel the winds of change coming though as number 4 child is going to England, then Vietnam for a year and back to England. I am not sure he will ever live in the States again as he has met a girl from England and is talking to moving there permanently. Aww.....Number 5 will graduate high school this year and is planning on entering the military. So this year I am consciously thankful for today. Merry Christmas to all!

 

[texaskj]

April and Jane, I hear you both. I think a lot of people wish Christmas could be more like when they were kids, however old they are. (My grandparents have all been gone now for 10 years.)
I watched a Rick Steves European Christmas show a few years back and was actually jealous of how sweet and simple a lot of them celebrate Christmas. Yes, it's a special day to them, but all the hype doesn't start before Halloween. There's a radio station here that started playing nothing, and I mean nothing, but Christmas songs two weeks before Thanksgiving. Puke.

 

[JanesJewels]

I actually found it very comforting to read what Aprilbaby wrote, and you too, Texaskj. It's very comforting to read that others feel as you do, especially when it's something sad.

I know we have to form new traditions. I just feel that it's hard to do that when there's not a family unit anymore.

I put a present under the tree for Mom. It's a crystal rabbit holding out Mom's favorite flowers, forget-me-nots. I meant to give it to her when she was alive but she died so quickly. So I'm giving it to her symbolically, and the rabbit will hold its flowers out to her photograph.

This year's gift was expensive, but in future years it'll be something like nice soap, or chocolates. Something small and consumable that I will use up. But I always want to have a little gift under the tree for her. Because if I was gone myself, the idea of someone putting a gift under the tree for me even when I'd been gone for years, is kind of nice.

 

[VRBeauty]

I actually found it very comforting to read what Aprilbaby wrote, and you too, Texaskj. It's very comforting to read that others feel as you do, especially when it's something sad.

I know we have to form new traditions. I just feel that it's hard to do that when there's not a family unit anymore.

I put a present under the tree for Mom. It's a crystal rabbit holding out Mom's favorite flowers, forget-me-nots. I meant to give it to her when she was alive but she died so quickly. So I'm giving it to her symbolically, and the rabbit will hold its flowers out to her photograph.

This year's gift was expensive, but in future years it'll be something like nice soap, or chocolates. Something small and consumable that I will use up. But I always want to have a little gift under the tree for her. Because if I was gone myself, the idea of someone putting a gift under the tree for me even when I'd been gone for years, is kind of nice.

JJ: I'm sorry you weren't able to be with family on this first Christmas without your mother. The gift you had under the tree for her sounds lovely and so sweet... I hope you'll now get to put it out as a reminder of your special mother/daughter bond.

My mother was a nurse in a large hospital for many years, and often patients would thank the staff with a box of See's chocolates. My mother would irk her fellow nurses because she could always pick out the dark chocolate marzipan, and never mistook it for the dark chocolate nougat, which looked similar (a rookie mistake that her fellow nurses often made). So after she retired, I often brought home a half-pound box of See's candy, dark chocolate marzipan only, as sort of a hostess gift - because she had trouble accepting "just because" gifts. Sometimes she shared with the rest of us. So that was the gift I had under the tree for my mother. I got a new ornament to sort of symbolize her: a silvered glass heart topped with a little crown. I hung it in the middle of the tree because my mother always wanted to be where the action was!

 

[partgypsy]

I am thankful that both of my parents, and my parents in law are still alive, and in good health as can be expected, age-wise.
Spent Christmas eve and Christmas with in-laws and it was relaxing as always. My mother in law really gets into the holidays, so it was nice just walking around spying the little holiday decorations she had tucked into every room.
Christmas eve after supper, sitting in the living area with my oldest daughter, listening to my father in law play Christmas carols and hearing happy conversations in the other room. Watching the end of the Muppets Christmas Carol, and my youngest wishing everyone a Merry Christmas on our way out.

I miss my immediate family, but talked to them on the phone and look forward to visiting them in the summer.

My 2 kids are getting older. They now have separate rooms, and this month was filled with re organizing and packing away books or other things that neither wants, because they have outgrown them. There will be only a few more year before my youngest outgrows "toys". I know it's silly but it filled me with gladness that a $45 toy set I bought her this year can fill her with such anticipation, happiness and joy.
This was a first time the kids were involved in the gift giving, and that was a lot of fun (Dad got a new spatula). I think they were pretty proud of saving and using their own money (though we will gladly take homemade gifts or art as well!)

I think every year I figure out a little better, what Christmas is about.

 

[AprilBaby]

The last couple of years we have gone away somewhere sunny the week before Christmas. That helped a lot. It gets the mood up to be in the sun and makes the holiday fly bye getting home at the last minute. This year we were unable to go. We will be going instead in January. ( always a cruise). I think we will plan to be onboard next year for Christmas day.

 

[Calliecake]

The last couple of years we have gone away somewhere sunny the week before Christmas. That helped a lot. It gets the mood up to be in the sun and makes the holiday fly bye getting home at the last minute. This year we were unable to go. We will be going instead in January. ( always a cruise). I think we will plan to be onboard next year for Christmas day.

My husband and I had this very discussion a few days before Christmas. He wants be away someplace warm on Christmas Day next year.

April Baby, The next few Christmas' may really surprise you. The new baby may change everything and make them wonderful for you.

 

[EvangelineG]

Wink, that was a beautiful post and brought tears to my eyes when I read it on facebook yesterday.

My heart goes out to everyone struggling with feelings of sadness or loss this Christmas. In my family there have been no recent losses to death, but we have lost a great deal to mental and neurological illness. Christmas can be a poignant reminder of the losses, not to mention the extra stress of keeping everyone and everything together with the variety of holiday pressures and changes to routine. Luckily yesterday was very quiet with lots of peace and enjoyment for my family, and I am very grateful.

I certainly have mixed feelings about the season these days. Hugs to everyone.

 

[AprilBaby]

The last couple of years we have gone away somewhere sunny the week before Christmas. That helped a lot. It gets the mood up to be in the sun and makes the holiday fly bye getting home at the last minute. This year we were unable to go. We will be going instead in January. ( always a cruise). I think we will plan to be onboard next year for Christmas day.

My husband and I had this very discussion a few days before Christmas. He wants be away someplace warm on Christmas Day next year.

April Baby, The next few Christmas' may really surprise you. The new baby may change everything and make them wonderful for you.

The new baby changes everything! Grand babies bring joy you forgot you had after the kids grow up! Next Christmas may be totally different

 

[Sky56]

It's bittersweet. A dear family member is weak and ill, but I see the rest of the family becoming closer because of it. I'm feeling grateful for the things I experienced yesterday and today.

 

[anne_h]

Wink, glad to hear your Christmas turned out so well this year. We really have to thank all the great vendors who go to lengths to ensure their customers are satisfied during this busiest time of the year.

Personally - I've learned over the years that I am not a big holiday person. Mainly because I'm an introvert - I like peace and quiet, and don't like noise and a fuss.

Now we have three young kids so there is a lot of the latter! lol Luckily, my husband is into family 'dos and does the work of making it nice (gift shopping, tree, decorating and the cooking). Yes, I've got a good deal going on! lol We've agreed I'm the careerist, so I work a lot, and my husband takes on more of the domestic load.

Often my in-laws come to stay from out of the country... so our place is a bit crowded. But they're great people and it's important bonding for them and the kids so I do my best to accommodate even though I am uncomfortable. More time for reading & pricescope! lol

Happy holidays everyone,

Anne

 

[AprilBaby]

It's bittersweet. A dear family member is weak and ill, but I see the rest of the family becoming closer because of it. I'm feeling grateful for the things I experienced yesterday and today.

I hope things look up for your family member! If not, I'm glad your family has drawn closer because of it!

 

[Sunstorm]

Wonderful story of reality but so realistically and beautifully told. I can totally relate. Yes, the time leading up to the holidays is absolutely crazy and afterwards it is sometimes difficult to adjust to a different pace. Well, I for one am not in the loving camp right now but that is also because something just seems to hit at this time of the year annually. If I had family and a holiday like you describe Wink, I surely would put up with all the madness and just look forward to it.) It warmed my heart to read your true story, that is how it should be.

 

[telephone89]

I have a similar feeling.

This year we were supposed to host christmas, but my mother and her boyfriend bailed, and everyone else who showed up just complained about that. We had a second dinner to go to which was okay, but a very far drive in terrible weather so we ended up leaving a bit early.

I'm grateful that it happened, I'm grateful that it's over. My favourite part was having so much time off with my SO, as our schedules are often conflicted we usually only have a bit of time each night together. He gets home at 9pm and I am in bed by 11 most days. So it was lovely to have him off work.

 

[Polished]

I loved reading your Christmas story Wink.

Christmas was a bit tinged with sadness this year. My MIL passed away this year and her husband (aged 95) is missing her terribly. Combine this with his fast deteriorating memory and it makes for some difficult times. Every member of DH's family wasn't around for Christmas - either living too far away, travelling overseas or spending Christmas with the other side of their family. I simply invited my side of the family over to an extra meal with our family that included my FIL. He didn't seem to know who anyone was but it didn't seem to matter. We had a lovely time.

For Christmas my daughter had hand written me a book, containing healthy recipes, ideas for exercises, inspirational quotes and thoughts. I was so touched. She's been doing a full time dance course this year away from home and one short year seems to have transformed her in so many positive ways.