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Sometimes some women just suck

kenny

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I love to play pool.
I'm not very good but I love to play.
I go to many pool halls and bars, straight and gay, I don't care I just LOVE to play pool.

Tonight I went to a straight bar I've been to a few times and ran into a real A-hole.
There were so many people signed up on the chalk board to play on their single pool table that I had to wait an hour for the name before me to come up.
I was after her.

She was nowhere to be found.
Her opponent said she was in the parking lot talking to her 'girlfriends' ... as if to say that's okay and don't dare bother her.
The custom around here is to circle the AWOL player's name, then let the nexxt person play.
When the AWOL person shows up, with one or two games, (s)he gets the next turn.

Well, all the 5 men after me on the waiting list didn't let me circle her name so I could play ... even though one man's name was circled while I waited.
They all were like, "Oh, Carmen will be pissed if you don't wait for her'.

I thought, HUH?, but I just went with the flow, a wise thing to do in a bar.

20 minutes later Carmen finally graces us with her presence.
She plays very poorly, bitches and moans, and blames the table and the bar's cue stick.
While she plays all the men are ogling her huge breasts, blond (dyed) hair, tiny waist and voluptuous derrière.

Two times during the game she wanders over to the bar and chats leisurely with 3 other women, (one who owns the bar) .. .while her male opponent patiently waits for the sexy babe.

I was up next to play the winner of this game but I got sick of waiting so I walked up to the woman and said, "Excuse me, but it's your shot".
Livid, she snaps her fingers at me up in the air (without even turning around to face me) and says, "Don't rush me, don't rush me." :angryfire:

Saying nothing I just walked out as the men's jaws dropped to the floor.
Women abusing their sexual power doesn't work on me.
This type of thing has happened a few times in my life and always the women are shocked and furious ... and the men who watch are even more shocked.

All that men/women/sex/power crap makes me wanna puke.
I don't get it.
 

TooPatient

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What a self-centered person!

I don't care who you are or what you look like, that is NOT how you treat the people around you. Ever!

Sorry you had to put up with that. I hope she gets treated that way one of these days so she can maybe learn how to be a little less nasty.
 

Dancing Fire

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kenny|1418974345|3804089 said:
While she plays all the men are ogling her huge breasts, blond (dyed) hair, tiny waist and voluptuous derrière.
Any pics?... :naughty:
 

kenny

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Dancing Fire|1418977200|3804095 said:
kenny|1418974345|3804089 said:
While she plays all the men are ogling her huge breasts, blond (dyed) hair, tiny waist and voluptuous derrière.
Any pics?... :naughty:


Hahaha.

OH, DF! :nono:
You are one of 3.5 billion reasons women get away with this crap. :nono:
 

lknvrb4

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This type of behavior by woman does not work for me either. I honestly prefer to hang out with men because then I do not have to deal with girl drama.
 

missy

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lknvrb4|1418988046|3804120 said:
This type of behavior by woman does not work for me either. I honestly prefer to hang out with men because then I do not have to deal with girl drama.

That would annoy me too Kenny. That woman's behavior and that of her acquaintances are unacceptable and does suck. Sorry your evening and pool playing was affected by her ill behavior.

lknvrb4, I don't have that experience with my women friends. I don't have a preference men vs women when it comes to friends. It's the individual I either love and respect or don't and I also don't agree with the generalization that (most) women behave like this with "girl" drama. I guess it is the company you choose to keep regarding friends and my friends (men and women) keep the drama and rude and selfish behavior to a minimum thankfully.
 

arkieb1

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I probably would have walked out and found somewhere else to play when she was out in the parking lot stuffing everyone else around. Find somewhere more user friendly to go to....
 

momhappy

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It sounds like she was friends with the owner? Or a regular? It sort of sounded like you implied that other folks at the bar knew her (calling her by name,etc.), so placing the emphasis on her physical appearance (and how it might apply to her use of perceived power) maybe didn't have as much to do with it as other circumstances (like the fact that she knew the owner for example)? Whatever the case, it sucks that you weren't able to enjoy yourself and that would make me cranky too:) Are there any other pool halls in your area that you could check out?
As far as women drama is concerned, I guess that I agree with missy. Girl drama can only occur if you are a willing participant. If you choose to hang out with women who create drama, then you are participating on some level. There's no need to end female friendships - just hang out with women who are like-minded, mature, and who don't care to involve themselves in unnecessary drama. They do exist :D
 

OreoRosies86

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missy|1418989054|3804122 said:
lknvrb4|1418988046|3804120 said:
This type of behavior by woman does not work for me either. I honestly prefer to hang out with men because then I do not have to deal with girl drama.

That would annoy me too Kenny. That woman's behavior and that of her acquaintances are unacceptable and does suck. Sorry your evening and pool playing was affected by her ill behavior.

lknvrb4, I don't have that experience with my women friends. I don't have a preference men vs women when it comes to friends. It's the individual I either love and respect or don't and I also don't agree with the generalization that (most) women behave like this with "girl" drama. I guess it is the company you choose to keep regarding friends and my friends (men and women) keep the drama and rude and selfish behavior to a minimum thankfully.

Well said. Avoiding women because of "girl drama" is silly. If you can't get along with an entire gender, you might be the common denominator. I have so many awesome friendships with the women in my life. They are carefully selected for awesomeness.
 

Asscherhalo_lover

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It sucks that you had to experience that, this is how bar fights start, lol. I wouldn't patronize a bar that supports that kind of behavior.
 

Lady_Disdain

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I would say some people suck, both men and women.

In your story, I place some of the blame on the other people in the bar. The woman wasn't around when her turn came up, true, but the bar had a rule for that case. Who decided not to follow the rule? The men, not the woman. Her fault was in wandering off and being dismissive.
 

Jambalaya

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I'm sorry that happened to you, Kenny. How annoying.

I know being treated badly feels so personal, but she would have treated anybody who walked up to her and told her it was her shot the same. It was about her, not you.

I stopped going to bars, for the most part. I've found they don't exactly attract or encourage the best behavior, or people with the best manners, for the most part. If you want refinement and good manners in the company you keep, maybe try joining a theater club or a dining club. And if you like pool, install a table at home (perhaps in the garage) and invite people round to play. That way you don't have to mix with whoever turns up at the bar that evening, who may or may not have the same standards of politeness as you.
 

junebug17

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I think momhappy made a good point - it might not necessarily solely be this woman's appearance that is giving her a free pass to act rudely - she sounds like a regular at this place, everyone knows her, and she has an abrasive, acerbic personality that people might find intimidating - easier to put up with her bad behavior rather than confront her. You experienced how she reacts to being challenged. Whatever the reason, I can see where this would be an annoying thing to deal with and she sounds like an unpleasant person.
 

movie zombie

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I too enjoy playing pool...and like you may on any given day play very very well or very very poorly.
and I just HATE it when a man or a woman disappears during a game.
rude behavior such as this and I do the same as you: hey, it is your shot.
if playing doubles, i'll tell the other guy to take his friend's shot for him/her.
 

Jambalaya

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Elliot86|1419001453|3804176 said:
missy|1418989054|3804122 said:
lknvrb4|1418988046|3804120 said:
This type of behavior by woman does not work for me either. I honestly prefer to hang out with men because then I do not have to deal with girl drama.

That would annoy me too Kenny. That woman's behavior and that of her acquaintances are unacceptable and does suck. Sorry your evening and pool playing was affected by her ill behavior.

lknvrb4, I don't have that experience with my women friends. I don't have a preference men vs women when it comes to friends. It's the individual I either love and respect or don't and I also don't agree with the generalization that (most) women behave like this with "girl" drama. I guess it is the company you choose to keep regarding friends and my friends (men and women) keep the drama and rude and selfish behavior to a minimum thankfully.

Well said. Avoiding women because of "girl drama" is silly. If you can't get along with an entire gender, you might be the common denominator. I have so many awesome friendships with the women in my life. They are carefully selected for awesomeness.


I so agree with all this. Maybe I'm blind, but I rarely see a woman prancing around abusing her so-called sexual power. Most women I know are uncomplicated hardworking souls who want to live their lives in peace and, when it comes to their personal lives, want to devote themselves to one relationship and their children, if they have them, and if they are single/dating they act perfectly appropriately, too. Everyone I know is a grown-up, in other words. Who are these women who spend their personal lives playing games? I don't know any.

I do know of cases where a man has feelings for a woman, who has done nothing wrong except not reciprocate said feelings, who then gets blamed and cast as a wicked sexually-alluring Jezebel by the rejected man in question. Oh, yes. I've seen that a number of times.

To clarify my point above, I have rarely seen women act in this sexual-predator/sexual games way, but I've often seen a woman characterized that way, usually by a man who can't handle rejection.

I agree with Momhappy that it sounds as if this bar was the woman's hangout and she's known there, etc. She probably would have acted that way whatever appearance she had.
 

momhappy

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movie zombie|1419003492|3804194 said:
I too enjoy playing pool...and like you may on any given day play very very well or very very poorly.
and I just HATE it when a man or a woman disappears during a game.
rude behavior such as this and I do the same as you: hey, it is your shot.
if playing doubles, i'll tell the other guy to take his friend's shot for him/her.

I agree - the main issue here seems to be the fact that basic pool etiquette was not being practiced and that could occur with anyone (man or woman).
I wonder too if part of this is about certain perceptions of the woman based on her physical appearance? I'm curious because she was described in great detail (big boobs, dyed hair, etc.). Sometimes women who have some of those physical attributes can be perceived (and therefore judged) in certain ways - maybe her dismissive attitude came from confidence or from simply being a regular at that particular pool hall? Again, not that it would excuse her rude behavior - I still agree that it would be annoying and it sounds like the pool hall is to blame for not following procedure. These really are the types of things that can escalate into bar fights, so kudos to you kenny for trying to maintain your cool despite your frustration.
 

OreoRosies86

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Can someone explain the significance of her breast size, waist size, dress, and choice of hair color? I'm not trying to be obtuse, I am genuinely confused as to how this correlates to her rude behavior.
 

momhappy

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Elliot86|1419005343|3804212 said:
Can someone explain the significance of her breast size, waist size, dress, and choice of hair color? I'm not trying to be obtuse, I am genuinely confused as to how this correlates to her rude behavior.

Yes, that's sort of what I was getting at in my post too - you just had a more direct way of getting to the point :lol: I think that sometimes certain physical attributes (big boobs, small waist, blonde hair, etc.) can sometimes contribute to certain perceptions/judgments, which is unfortunate. If someone is rude, that's one thing, but that's not necessarily related to their physical appearance IMO. It reminds me of the term "skinny bitch" which encourages the notion that (in general) skinny women are bitchy.
If this thread is more about how a woman might use her physical appearance to get what she wants, then it would make sense, but the description of her physical appearance and how it was it was related to her attitude/behavior seemed a tad bit odd to me too.
 

kenny

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Lady_Disdain|1419003202|3804189 said:
I would say some people suck, both men and women.

In your story, I place some of the blame on the other people in the bar. The woman wasn't around when her turn came up, true, but the bar had a rule for that case. Who decided not to follow the rule? The men, not the woman. Her fault was in wandering off and being dismissive.

I totally agree!
So many men think with their )!&ks when a woman is attractive.
I wonder if this is where the term 'bonehead' came from.
Of course I'm not painting all attracitve women with a broad brush (did I just say broad?) :lol:
It's like anything ... a few bad apples ...
When it comes to men though IMO it is the majority who will not call a woman on this crap! :nono:

In my long life there have been a few instances of me not letting a woman pull this crap, some in the workplace.
Men have consistently been perplexed at my behavior, even men who knew I wasn't, uh, 'batting for their team'.
I wish I could crawl into their brains and figure out how they can be so tolerant, and even relish the abuse, when it's coming from an attractive woman.
I think even when the know there's no chance they'll 'get lucky' they get some kind of rush from any contact.
Probably why so many attractive people, men and women, are waitpeople and tend bar ... I just suspect women are less likely to overlook bad behavior of attractive men.
Yeah, I'm stereotyping.
I really think men and women are just wired differently when it comes to this subject.

But yeah, I just moved on to another place.
Too bad, it looked like a nice table with some decent players.
I love to watch good pool players!

Pool rocks, but has gotten an unfair sleazy image.
I read a fascinating article about this, LA Times IIRC, maybe NY Times.
Apparently a few bad apples, hustlers, are to blame ... not to mention that classic 1961 film, The Hustler, with Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason.
One of the best/last great American pool halls is right here is So. CA. :clap:
There are plenty of very nice respectable people who don't gamble and love this great game.
 

kenny

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movie zombie|1419003492|3804194 said:
I too enjoy playing pool...and like you may on any given day play very very well or very very poorly.

Funny you say that.
Often I miss easy shots and sometimes nail hard shots.
I think, in addition to skill, there's a lot of psychology and mental discipline needed to play pool consistently.
The mind control part is the most interesting to me.
 

junebug17

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I think it is naive to think that a person's attractiveness doesn't influence how others treat him/her. I have experienced it myself when I was young and pretty. I was never as bad as this woman but in hindsight I occasionally took advantage of my looks and sometimes somewhat immature behavior was tolerated and men were nice to me because of my appearance. I'm not proud of this btw, but that's how men reacted to me and I went with it. Don't worry, payback is a b!tch and I have since lost my looks and look older than my age, so I'm getting my comeuppance.

I feel life is sometimes a bit easier for attractive people, as unfair as that is.
 

kenny

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Elliot86|1419005343|3804212 said:
Can someone explain the significance of her breast size, waist size, dress, and choice of hair color? I'm not trying to be obtuse, I am genuinely confused as to how this correlates to her rude behavior.

Most men are attracted to women.
Some women abuse this ... so the 'correlation' is not universal.
It happens, perhaps rarely, but it happens.
I'm a man so I see men fall over each other and make fools of themselves in front of women, and I hear the men's comments behind her back.
Perhaps women notice it too, but since they are women they will not hear the comments I hear.
I think it happens less often when the genders are reversed, not never, less often.

It can also happens with many other 'currencies' like youth, wealth, IQ, fame.
Of course ALL people possessing these currencies do not abuse them.

The more attractive a woman is the more of this power she has available.
Obviously the vast majority of attractive women do not abuse their power over men.

While she was at the bar, and while playing pool the men around me were not watching the game on the pool table.
They were all staring at her body, and I overheard a few lewd comments.
It was not my imagination or bias.
 

kenny

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momhappy|1419005188|3804211 said:
movie zombie|1419003492|3804194 said:
I too enjoy playing pool...and like you may on any given day play very very well or very very poorly.
and I just HATE it when a man or a woman disappears during a game.
rude behavior such as this and I do the same as you: hey, it is your shot.
if playing doubles, i'll tell the other guy to take his friend's shot for him/her.

I agree - the main issue here seems to be the fact that basic pool etiquette was not being practiced and that could occur with anyone (man or woman).
I wonder too if part of this is about certain perceptions of the woman based on her physical appearance? I'm curious because she was described in great detail (big boobs, dyed hair, etc.). Sometimes women who have some of those physical attributes can be perceived (and therefore judged) in certain ways - maybe her dismissive attitude came from confidence or from simply being a regular at that particular pool hall? Again, not that it would excuse her rude behavior - I still agree that it would be annoying and it sounds like the pool hall is to blame for not following procedure. These really are the types of things that can escalate into bar fights, so kudos to you kenny for trying to maintain your cool despite your frustration.

Yeah, after I said, "It's your turn." and she flipped her hand up and brushed me off I just got my jacket and quietly left.
Jambalaya, I'm glad you don't run into this behavior.
Yes, clearly bars are sometimes places where high-afternoon-tea manners are not adhered to.
Bars vary a great deal and I won't be back to that one.

I'm sure the owner saw me leave.
Perhaps she had a word with her friend. Perhaps not. Whatever.
 

VRBeauty

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Some people, men or women are... just like that. The male equivalent might be the guy in the up-to-date, perfectly tailored suit who arrived in the Ferrari.... or some other combination of attributes that has currency in that setting. Where I used to work this type of behavior could have been practiced by either men or women flexing their "power muscles." But come to think of it, there were quite a few women in positions of power where I worked. Hmmm.... :wink2:

It's all about power - who has it, how the get it, and how they use and keep it. In this particular case it was a woman who got it through some combination of looks and powerful friendships. It could easily have been a guy as well - though perhaps a guy pulling this sort of stunt would not have been as noticeable, being more the norm? :wink2:
 

ame

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I would never have tolerated waiting that long for her, I would've been like "lady are you gonna take your turn or not. There are other people here."
 

kenny

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VRBeauty|1419009865|3804258 said:
Some people, men or women are... just like that. The male equivalent might be the guy in the up-to-date, perfectly tailored suit who arrived in the Ferrari.... or some other combination of attributes that has currency in that setting. Where I used to work this type of behavior could have been practiced by either men or women flexing their "power muscles." But come to think of it, there were quite a few women in positions of power where I worked. Hmmm.... :wink2:

It's all about power - who has it, how the get it, and how they use and keep it. In this particular case it was a woman who got it through some combination of looks and powerful friendships. It could easily have been a guy as well - though perhaps a guy pulling this sort of stunt would not have been as noticeable, being more the norm? :wink2:

Good point!
 

kenny

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ame|1419011947|3804278 said:
I would never have tolerated waiting that long for her, I would've been like "lady are you gonna take your turn or not. There are other people here."

I was pretty polite, considering.
Bars are not good places to let any conflict escalate ... especially since this was clearly her territory.
 

momhappy

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kenny|1419011993|3804281 said:
ame|1419011947|3804278 said:
I would never have tolerated waiting that long for her, I would've been like "lady are you gonna take your turn or not. There are other people here."

I was pretty polite, considering.
Bars are not good places to let any conflict escalate ... especially since this was clearly her territory.

I agree with you kenny - bars are obviously not the best place to speak your mind and a little tolerance/patience can go a long way in these types of scenarios. It sounds like you read the situation well and responded appropriately under the circumstances:)
 

kenny

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livannie|1419017073|3804317 said:
http://www.jewsnews.co.il/2014/03/27/this-pretty-girl-was-seeking-a-rich-husband-the-reply-she-got-from-a-banker-was-priceless/
Kenny, you reminded me of this article I read the other day. I thought it was pretty good.

Hahaha.
Fun read.
Boy, people sure vary. :wacko:
 
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