aljdewey|1418531822|3800835 said:
Ah, gotcha! I had hoped your post was a bit of a joke, but sometimes it's hard to tell on these forums.
I was also puzzled by the lecture comment, but I guess my thoughts on the matter weren't very well received
When to Stop Sending Photos as a Christman Card
- Thread starter smitcompton
- Start date
Ah, gotcha! I had hoped your post was a bit of a joke, but sometimes it's hard to tell on these forums.
I was also puzzled by the lecture comment, but I guess my thoughts on the matter weren't very well received
VapidLapid
Ideal_Rock
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In real life I am a photographer, so my holiday card is always a photo. It is usually in an edition of between 100 and 125. Sometimes it is a gelatin silver print, sometimes a cyanotype, sometimes a vandyke print toned with gold salt, three have been copper-plate engravings that I have done from my photos and printed on a groovy little "Halfwood Press". THis year I had 100 5x7 color prints made. In all these instances I write on the back in green and red fat antique crayons [b]"Happy Holidays"[/b]. Here is the image for this year's card which I managed to get out in the mail on friday.
eta: I love making and sending christmas cards. Especially in this age where we are so connected instantly and transiently for every trivial thought, a physical thing exchanged, even if just a photo of the kids, is a wonderful way to reach out to many people. It says that even if we don't talk as often as we would like you are in out hearts and minds. the photo of the family I think of as a proxy presence for being together sharing in the spirit of the holidays. In this age of snarky and schmaltz stained e-cards which one is lucky or unlucky to receive depending on one's perspective, to receive a real physical thing is a momentous gift, and really it is quite an inexpensive way to let someone know you think of them and really make their day.
eta: I love making and sending christmas cards. Especially in this age where we are so connected instantly and transiently for every trivial thought, a physical thing exchanged, even if just a photo of the kids, is a wonderful way to reach out to many people. It says that even if we don't talk as often as we would like you are in out hearts and minds. the photo of the family I think of as a proxy presence for being together sharing in the spirit of the holidays. In this age of snarky and schmaltz stained e-cards which one is lucky or unlucky to receive depending on one's perspective, to receive a real physical thing is a momentous gift, and really it is quite an inexpensive way to let someone know you think of them and really make their day.
I never met a christmas card I did not like.
Christmas cards are not as popular as they were in the 60s and 70s. My parents sent out hundreds and received hundreds. E-mail greetings are not the same. Now as postage has gone up it can be an expensive proposition. Especially international. Photo cards start at 25 cents and can go higher depending upon quality, paper, number of pictures and personalization as well as where they are purchased. A photo card can be more costly than a box of beautiful Hallmark cards which may have been bought last year for half off. It tells me that someone has thought of me this busy time of year to wish me a Merry Christmas. I prefer the photos as I am interested to see how everyone is doing, pics of the new fiance and new members of the family-even the pets. I love the vacation photos and new grand kid photos.
I also love newsletters-even the ones that brag. These folks have been in our life and I love the updates. I wish more folks would drop a few lines to let us know what is going on-where there kids are going to school, where they went on vacation and if there has been a significant event in their life-birth, death and marriage/divorce or a move in job or residence. We send out a variety of cards -all with a newsletter. We send photo cards to close friends and family, religious themed cards to the devout and nonsecular greetings to those who do not observe any faith.
I you don't like getting a card just let the sender know and they will gladly take you off their list...and you may never hear from them again.
Christmas cards are not as popular as they were in the 60s and 70s. My parents sent out hundreds and received hundreds. E-mail greetings are not the same. Now as postage has gone up it can be an expensive proposition. Especially international. Photo cards start at 25 cents and can go higher depending upon quality, paper, number of pictures and personalization as well as where they are purchased. A photo card can be more costly than a box of beautiful Hallmark cards which may have been bought last year for half off. It tells me that someone has thought of me this busy time of year to wish me a Merry Christmas. I prefer the photos as I am interested to see how everyone is doing, pics of the new fiance and new members of the family-even the pets. I love the vacation photos and new grand kid photos.
I also love newsletters-even the ones that brag. These folks have been in our life and I love the updates. I wish more folks would drop a few lines to let us know what is going on-where there kids are going to school, where they went on vacation and if there has been a significant event in their life-birth, death and marriage/divorce or a move in job or residence. We send out a variety of cards -all with a newsletter. We send photo cards to close friends and family, religious themed cards to the devout and nonsecular greetings to those who do not observe any faith.
I you don't like getting a card just let the sender know and they will gladly take you off their list...and you may never hear from them again.
Autumnovember
Ideal_Rock
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amc80|1418578644|3800979 said:
Growing up in a very Russian family, we never sent out any Christmas cards or received. We don't even celebrate on the 25th like the U. S. does. When I get a card, I look at it, think of it as a nice gesture, thank the person, and then toss it. I just don't "feel" a very particular way about Christmas cards. Probably because Christmas in general was never a big thing growing up. Every year I have patients completely spoil me with Christmas cards and gifts. I feel a completely different way about cards from patients. I keep them and they're extremely sentimental to me. I don't think Christmas cards will ever be something I get into even after I have kids. To each their own, for sure!
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For the most part, we have gotten these only from family and a few close friends over the years. Now that our kids are grown, we don't get many. BUT, I will have to admit wondering when one family member will stop sending the pictures! They have one child who just graduated from graduate school at 26 and their Christmas card pic was the parents with the adult child in the middle in her graduation gown holding the professional diploma. I am proud of this child, of course, but I would not have put that picture on a Christmas card! Perhaps through college age max, but I think 26 is just a little odd.
SB621
Ideal_Rock
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Honestly I don't mind either way. We move every few years so I enjoy pictures and seeing how many friends, my parents friends and everyone kids grow up. Though with the popularity of facebook in the last few years almost no one I know sends holiday cards anymore. I get emails and/ or a facebook post usually!
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You've got to be careful with adult pics on your Christmas card. Kids tend to be cute, pets too. Adults? hmmm, not always. Just ask Tony Blair. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/tony-blair-mocked-creepy-christmas-4730415
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So is anyone else sending out photo cards this year? I just dropped off mine in the mailbox. Can't wait to get some in the mail.
Although I get quite a few Christmas cards, I've only ever gotten a photo card from one family. The father is a local politician, and it used to be a photo of him, his wife, and their son. Since the son has gotten a little older (like 12) it's been a photo just of the son. Last year he was standing in front of the fireplace with a very embarrassed, awkward smile on his face. I feel rather sorry for him, especially as he has rather prominent ears. In last year's photo you could see he was thinking, "Awww, Mommm, Dadddd, why do I have to do this!!!!"
I have a friend who I care about who lives across country and has two little children. I rarely see them, but sometimes she puts up-to-date loose photos of the kids in her cards, and I appreciate seeing how they've changed and which parent and grand-parent they look like (since I know their grandparents too, and her son is the image of his maternal grandfather.)
Depending on the sender, I think the photo cards and Christmas letters can sometimes be a bit boastful. One family sends me their letter, which is always full of how the whole family together climbed this mountain or starred together in that local play or did a long and involved charity project - all together, of course! The boys are 26-plus. If I had a family and my grown-up children didn't want to spend all their time doing activities with me, but I just received the occasional phone call or visit (like many parents with busy adult kids) that letter would make me feel sad I think.
Which brings me to the next thing: I have quite a number of female friends in their forties, fifties, and two who are sixty, who really wanted a marriage and a family. For various reasons, it didn't work out that way. If I was happily married with a family, I don't think I'd send a happy-families photo and letter to someone who I knew wanted a family and their life didn't work out that way. I think a beautiful snow scene and a short handwritten holiday message would be more uplifting.
But it depends on your social circle. My sister socializes exclusively with straight married couples with kids, so she's probably safe with here's-my-happy-family greetings. My friends are more of a mixed bag - for example, I have one friend who lost her daughter at five days old and never had another child. I have a few others who are gay and really want kids but haven't found the right person, and I have a couple who really don't like kids at all. For me, I think I'm safer sending out snow scenes!
Basically, I think that often people can experience deep sadnesses in their personal lives which you may not know anything about, so I tend to just send traditional holiday greetings cards and avoid mentioning my own good fortune/happy life too much, at this time of year.
I have a friend who I care about who lives across country and has two little children. I rarely see them, but sometimes she puts up-to-date loose photos of the kids in her cards, and I appreciate seeing how they've changed and which parent and grand-parent they look like (since I know their grandparents too, and her son is the image of his maternal grandfather.)
Depending on the sender, I think the photo cards and Christmas letters can sometimes be a bit boastful. One family sends me their letter, which is always full of how the whole family together climbed this mountain or starred together in that local play or did a long and involved charity project - all together, of course! The boys are 26-plus. If I had a family and my grown-up children didn't want to spend all their time doing activities with me, but I just received the occasional phone call or visit (like many parents with busy adult kids) that letter would make me feel sad I think.
Which brings me to the next thing: I have quite a number of female friends in their forties, fifties, and two who are sixty, who really wanted a marriage and a family. For various reasons, it didn't work out that way. If I was happily married with a family, I don't think I'd send a happy-families photo and letter to someone who I knew wanted a family and their life didn't work out that way. I think a beautiful snow scene and a short handwritten holiday message would be more uplifting.
But it depends on your social circle. My sister socializes exclusively with straight married couples with kids, so she's probably safe with here's-my-happy-family greetings. My friends are more of a mixed bag - for example, I have one friend who lost her daughter at five days old and never had another child. I have a few others who are gay and really want kids but haven't found the right person, and I have a couple who really don't like kids at all. For me, I think I'm safer sending out snow scenes!
Basically, I think that often people can experience deep sadnesses in their personal lives which you may not know anything about, so I tend to just send traditional holiday greetings cards and avoid mentioning my own good fortune/happy life too much, at this time of year.
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I did use to send them out. I couldn't get my act together last year and didn't send them, and this year same thing (mistake with youngest school photo order never got placed). I was considering making a card of pics from our last big vacation, but then it seemed kind of braggy and not really representative of our regular life. Plus its been a pet peeve of mine, that I'm the photographer of the family, and all the nice pics don't have me in it, and my husband hates "staged" photos and refuses to sit for them.
So maybe I will do another xmas card when we have a decent pic of our family all together.
I do have to say, maybe because I didn't send cards last year, only got 1 photo card so far this year. So maybe people are moving away from them anyhow (or we've been dropped from the lists).
So maybe I will do another xmas card when we have a decent pic of our family all together.
I do have to say, maybe because I didn't send cards last year, only got 1 photo card so far this year. So maybe people are moving away from them anyhow (or we've been dropped from the lists).
Photos seem so much more personal to me as opposed to a generic Holiday card.
CRYSTAL24K
Brilliant_Rock
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What a wide range of responses regarding giving and receiving Christmas cards. This is a very interesting thread.
I still stand by my earlier post. Nothing changes on my end. Still sending cards with pics of my family.
I only send photo cards out to friends, family and my husband's work colleagues that he has a relationship with outside of the office. I have another set of Christmas cards that are designated just for his professional contacts that have no photos on them.
I still stand by my earlier post. Nothing changes on my end. Still sending cards with pics of my family.
I only send photo cards out to friends, family and my husband's work colleagues that he has a relationship with outside of the office. I have another set of Christmas cards that are designated just for his professional contacts that have no photos on them.
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I always enjoy getting them. I don't read into them too much -- I don't think of them as artificial or Facebooky or anything like that. I just like seeing the faces of people we know, regardless of how old they are, or how often or seldom I see them. When I think about how many people I've known and lost touch with over the years, and all the new people I've met and started exchanging cards with, I'm grateful for every one of them. Christmas cards are just one small way to reaffirm that connection.
We try to send out a photo card every year. We keep it simple -- just a photo of the kids (and maaaaybe a smaller one of the husband and me) with a few words of holiday greeting. We don't include a family newsletter with updates, but I do enjoy reading the ones we receive from others.
We try to send out a photo card every year. We keep it simple -- just a photo of the kids (and maaaaybe a smaller one of the husband and me) with a few words of holiday greeting. We don't include a family newsletter with updates, but I do enjoy reading the ones we receive from others.
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HI:
Outside of the photo issue, I am surprised how many people send and receive cards. At once time I needed a table just for the placement of Christmas cards; and in the last two years that number has diminished to less than what I can count on my one hand. Yes, what I send and receive.
Have others found this?
cheers--Sharon
Outside of the photo issue, I am surprised how many people send and receive cards. At once time I needed a table just for the placement of Christmas cards; and in the last two years that number has diminished to less than what I can count on my one hand. Yes, what I send and receive.
Have others found this?
cheers--Sharon
The numbers are dwindling. So far we have received 3 email greetings from people who have in the past always sent a real card. Our numbers are way down from last year. My husband says it is early but 10 days to go... I think the expense and time it takes to send them out. The address checks is time consuming-we went through our list and updated the best we could but already 3 have come back with new addresses. The economy is not great in a lot of sectors and we are at the age where there seems to be a peek in divorces so not a lot of cheer to write about.
MichelleCarmen
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Yeah, seems like photo cards are for younger kids...We do get a photo card every year from a family with adult kids. The pictures are of them drinking wine and kind of looking buzzed! 
Guess life as a parent is more fun when you're drinking wine with the kids!
Guess life as a parent is more fun when you're drinking wine with the kids!I read an article a few days ago telling people to stop sending "cheery" Christmas cards because you might not know the struggles that person is going through... The author of the article mentioned losing their son/daughter, and she was hurt other people sent cheery cards about their family when she had gone through such a tragedy in her life... what do you all think?!
I've never lost a child, so I can't begin to imagine, but I don't think I'd blame other's fortune for the tragedies in my life... thoughts?
I've never lost a child, so I can't begin to imagine, but I don't think I'd blame other's fortune for the tragedies in my life... thoughts?
packrat
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I sent them out the Christmas right after we got married-I had two different ones, a funny one and a pretty one, depending on who it was going to. I think I may have sent some out the second year. Aaand that was the extent of it. We are down to getting like...three or so. From people on JD's side that I've not seen since I met them at our wedding. One of his relatives does a Christmas letter, and then a page of pictures that show what they did during the year. I read it, even tho I only met the Uncle for five minutes, he wasn't married at the time, and the kids weren't even born back then...and then think "well huh" and toss it. I like to see the pictures..and then I toss it.
zoebartlett
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We don't send Christmas cards often, mainly because we're kind of lazy about things like that. We get a few, including my mom's Christmas letter that she sends to family and close friends, but I have noticed a decline over the years. I like receiving photo cards because it's fun seeing updated photos of family members' or friends' kids. It doesn't matter how old they kids are. I'm just happy they thought of us and decided that we made the list.
podfoot|1418698991|3801916 said:
So, what's the alternative to cheery Holiday cards? Depressing ones? Isn't that the whole point of sending cards in the first place - because it lets someone know that you care about them, that you're thinking of them, etc.? Maybe I could understand that line of reasoning if you're sending out one of those letters that include all of the wonderful things in your life, but that's entirely different than a Holiday card, so I guess in that sense, I don't agree with the article.
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podfoot|1418698991|3801916 said:
Grief can make people lose perspective. I personally know a woman who tragically lost her 9 month old baby to SIDS and her cards that year were screened for pictures of smiling babies/children, because it would send her into a tailspin. If I knew someone had lost a baby, I would tread very carefully. In times of tragedy it is hard to know the right thing to do or say, but ultimately it is always the right thing to let someone know you care about them and are thinking of them. It really isn't blame, it is just deep grief.
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We all have good years and sh*t years. 2012 was the absolute worst year for me and my family. For some of my friends, it was a great year. I was happy for them and still glad to get happy cards from them even though i was miserable. They certainly were wishing that I have a better next year.podfoot|1418698991|3801916 said:
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Common sense should prevail. In this and all situations.
If a friend recently lost a child perhaps sending your christmas card with your smiling children on it might be considered insensitive and might not be the wisest thing to send. Instead you can send a christmas card (without pics of the kids) to that person with a personal note saying how you are thinking of them at this difficult time etc.
If one is just going through personal life challenges as we all do it might be a welcome diversion to receive others happy christmas cards and help with the realization that life can be happy and good and you are being thought of so in that case it would likely be welcomed.
If a friend recently lost a child perhaps sending your christmas card with your smiling children on it might be considered insensitive and might not be the wisest thing to send. Instead you can send a christmas card (without pics of the kids) to that person with a personal note saying how you are thinking of them at this difficult time etc.
If one is just going through personal life challenges as we all do it might be a welcome diversion to receive others happy christmas cards and help with the realization that life can be happy and good and you are being thought of so in that case it would likely be welcomed.
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momhappy|1418734786|3802201 said:
I agree with the letters that include everything wonderful maybe not making others feel the greatest. For at least ten years we received one from someone I had never met but my husband had known in high school. Every year it was how their children were on the high honor roll, how the husband had gotten the best promotion and raise to go along with it, what islands they were spending all three of their vacations that year. My husband and always laughed when the card arrived until one year I stopped and thought how awful it might make someone feel that was having an awful year. We didn't even know these people. it really seemed bizarre to me. I guess I feel those type of letters should only be sent to those you know very well, if you feel the need to send them.
When I couldn't get pregnant the ones with the babies stung a little but I was always happy for everyone else having their babies. if anyone knew I would be hurt by them, I know they would not have sent it. It's life, everyone has good years and not so good years.
I got a photo card today and the photos were a collage of their most recent African safari vacation (this was their second time there). Their card next year will probably be of their amazing 2-week trip to Thailand that they're going on around the first of the year. Even though I'm not traveling the world (despite the fact that I'd like to be ), I liked receiving the card and seeing the pics. It makes me happy for them
), I liked receiving the card and seeing the pics. It makes me happy for them
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Calliecake|1418770846|3802544 said:
I hear ya on the braggy holiday cards. We know a few families like that and reading their yearly holiday card/newsletter is always interesting. I get that people are proud of their family's accomplishments, but I'll never understand why they feel the need to broadcast it. I much prefer the cards that are meaningful in some way or contain funny/interesting anecdotes that reflect who they are as people, rather than what they've achieved. I guess it's not too surprising, though. People just want to be accepted and validated, and some folks look outward for that.
random_thought
Brilliant_Rock
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I put up all the cards on our cupboards in the kitchen. We live far away from most of our family and it makes me feel all warm and gooey inside, like I am surrounded by them whenever I am cooking
Gypsy
Super_Ideal_Rock
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I don't send cards.
I'm terrible about anything snail mail. I am thinking of sending E-cards this year.
I love receiving cards. But I totally understand that when I don't send myself, I don't get them as the years pass. And that's okay too.
I'm terrible about anything snail mail. I am thinking of sending E-cards this year.
I love receiving cards. But I totally understand that when I don't send myself, I don't get them as the years pass. And that's okay too.
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