#@%%@%%>>>>>>

[Karl_K]

Old Bubba was a normal guy, right up until the day that he suddenly started making the sound "Honda" whenever he passed gas. Being a typical good-old-boy, he could get off as many as a dozen "Honda" sounds in a row some days.



This began to worry him, since he suspected that something was wrong somewhere in his digestive system to cause him to suddenly start making these strange noises whenever he passed gas.

He visited several different Doctors, and had every procedure known to the medical profession performed on his digestive system. He had X-rays, Colonoscope work, MRI's, ultrasound, and so on and on and on. Nobody could find a medical reason for the strange noises.

Finally, in a fit of desperation, he took one of his buddies up on the offer to get him an appointment with the local Chinese "Acupuncture and Herbal Therapy" guy.

He went to his appointment, and described his problem. The old Chinese Doctor said "Open mouth, prease." Bubba opened his mouth, and the Doctor pointed to one of his teeth. "Go to Dentist. Get abscess fixed, and sound will go away."

Bubba said "What?"

The doctor told him "Surery you know that Abscess make the Fart go Honda."

 

[Karl_K]

1: How do you make antifreeze?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
1: Steal her blanket

It was an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers

 

[Karl_K]

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

It was two tired

 

[Karl_K]

Did you hear the joke about the German sausage?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was the wurst.

 

[Karl_K]

A pet store had a bird contest.
No perches necessary.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive"

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.


What did the toy store sign say? Don't feed the animals
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They are already stuffed.

 

[kenny]

I've never seen a forum where funny jokes fall flat, even when told by one of the most-beloved member.

IMO a sense of humor is a good thing, but clearly people vary.

...

Yesterday I said to my wife, "Gosh, I hope I win the lottery! I've got 6, 3, 20, 38, 15, 42 as my numbers, what are the odds?"

She said, "3 and 15".

(For PS, I even swapped the genders.)

 

[AprilBaby]

That first one I had to read several times before I got it.

 

[PintoBean]

 

[TooPatient]

Love them!

Thanks for adding a good dose of laughter to my day

 

[Rhea]

I love your jokes but your titles always make me think that you're upset and cursing!!

 

[partgypsy]

No they are good.
Hubby told this groaner at Thanksgiving
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
follow the fresh prints

 

[Karl_K]

I love your jokes but your titles always make me think that you're upset and cursing!!

that is part of the pun :}
actually there is history there.....
8 or so years ago someone complained that everyone was always complaining and being negative in hangout.
So I found the worst puns I could find and used the %@%!^$$%& type title for posting them.
Over the years it has become my tradition to use it.

 

[Karl_K]

No they are good.
Hubby told this groaner at Thanksgiving
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
follow the fresh prints

lol

 

[partgypsy]

more jokes!

 

[Rhea]

I love your jokes but your titles always make me think that you're upset and cursing!!

that is part of the pun :}
actually there is history there.....
8 or so years ago someone complained that everyone was always complaining and being negative in hangout.
So I found the worst puns I could find and used the %@%!^$$%& type title for posting them.
Over the years it has become my tradition to use it.

I know. I've been around as long as you've been doing them I think. Just offering an explanation for why someone may not click. I don't click on titles which may be frustrating or upsetting and the cursing title leads one to think that it might be.

 

[Cozystitches]

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Febreeze

What is the chemical formula for seawater?
.
.
.
.
.
.
CH2O


I'll go look up some more later. I teach and we are doing Chemistry right now, so I have been looking for all the periodic table jokes I can

 

[Karl_K]

I love your jokes but your titles always make me think that you're upset and cursing!!

that is part of the pun :}
actually there is history there.....
8 or so years ago someone complained that everyone was always complaining and being negative in hangout.
So I found the worst puns I could find and used the %@%!^$$%& type title for posting them.
Over the years it has become my tradition to use it.

I know. I've been around as long as you've been doing them I think. Just offering an explanation for why someone may not click. I don't click on titles which may be frustrating or upsetting and the cursing title leads one to think that it might be.

ah ok.

Q: How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A: His horse's name was Friday!

 

[Karl_K]

Q: What do you call a scary female horse?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A: A nightmare!

 

[Karl_K]

Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

A: A zebra!

 

[Karl_K]

Q: Where do horses shop?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A: Old Neigh-vy!

 

[kenny]

I asked my wife, "Pumpkin, why do your toes curl up when we make love?"

She said, "Peaches, you never give me time to remove my pantyhose."

 

[Dancing Fire]

Here is a good one from the watch forum...

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."
Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man exclaims, "Damn - this thing must be an hour fast!"

 

[tyty333]

Good ones Karl! Clean jokes I can tell my kids...gotta love them!

 

[iluvshinythings]

I had to read the first one a few times out loud before I got it. (have I mentioned I am blond?)

LOL. Thanks for the laughs.