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murry is dying

VapidLapid

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Congestive heart failure continues to advance. a month ago the vet said there was nothing more that could be done. He's been on salix, enalapril and vetmedin for two years. he stopped eating a week and a half ago. until yesterday morning when he looked at me like he wanted to eat and then rejected everything I gave him until I gave him tiny pieces of apple with yogurt and fed by hand. he didn't eat a lot of that but enough that it was encouraging. then he ate roast pork with oven dried tomatoes, again tiny pieces by hand. If not by hand he wont even consider something. he ate enough pork that it was like a small but real meal. I thought he might be snapping out of it. During the night he had dreadful expulsions (outside, he still tells me to take him out even at 3 am) which appeared not actually to have been digested, just rotted and passed. He has lost 5 pounds in 4 days. his breathing is getting wheezier. Just now he looked like he wanted something to eat. I tried his favorites. and hard boiled egg, watermelon, a cherry tomato, Car's whole wheat crackers (he ate this yesterday)...nothing. My heart is breaking into a billion pieces. I feel I have nothing left to live for. He is being so sweet through all this too, still sleeping with me and cuddling, and just glad to be together. The last two weeks the thing I have done most is cry. I have an inflamed disc in my back and a pinched nerve but nothing can stop me from carrying him from bed to the lamppost and back. Still he does not seem to be in pain or distress, which makes the idea of euthanasia seem premature.

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Jambalaya

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I am so very sorry to hear about your beloved dog. Thank you for posting the lovely photos.

I wish I had some words of comfort for you that would help. I searched your name to find out a bit more about you so I could help, and I read that your SO has MBC. So the situation with your pet is, of course, compounded.

I have been through my own hard times and the thing is, people offer you all manner of solutions, but really what I wanted sometimes was for someone to just commiserate with me, and rail alongside me at the world and all its unfairnesses without getting upset at me for being upset.

So I commiserate with you, I really do. You're a good person (I'm sure) and it sucks that you have to deal with your beloved dog's illness and all the stress of your SO's illness too. It just sucks, and it's completely unfair, and these things should only happen to bad people.

You're being tested. Maybe there are lessons here - but if so, be aware if will probably take a long time for you to see it. No one wants to be taught lessons, of course - they just want all in their world to be well.

Please don't feel you have nothing to live for. There are so many homeless dogs that, in the future, would just love a caring VapidLapid like you to come along and scoop them up, take them home and cuddle their bad memories away. There is always room in this world for charity and love and giving, and a great need for it.

I do appreciate your current feelings, though. I'm not trying to invalidate them. You're in the middle of a bad time and any lightness is impossible to see. It's there, though, I promise you. I have come through things I never thought I could, with a very much heightened appreciation for the better times, a deeper peace in those better times, and more patience.

About your SO, there is a husbands/caregivers MBC section of a great website, www.breastcancer.org..... Let me know if you want the link, or if not I'll just butt out! Didn't want to force it on you.

I hope you don't mind me writing to you like this since you don't know me, but when you wrote that you feel you have nothing to live for my heart went out to you as I remembered my own bad times, and I didn't want you to be hanging out alone too long while waiting for replies from your friends here.
 

kenny

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This is heartbreaking.
Give Murry a hug from me.
 

packrat

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I'm so sorry.
 

missy

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Vapid, I am so so sorry. Sweet Murry. My heart goes out to you and I am sending loving hugs and thoughts your way. Since Murry is not suffering right now and seems to be in good spirits you are right in that this is not the time to say goodbye. You will know when that time is. In the meantime just love him and be with him. He knows how much you love him as he does you and he is one lucky little dog to have found you and you of course are lucky to have found him.

I know the pain you are feeling now and it is awful. There is nothing I can say that will ease your pain except to say there is no doggie on earth as loved and well cared for as your dear Murry. Of course you have much to live for though I understand you don't feel that way right now and I do understand how you are feeling.

Right now you get this gift of time to spend with Murry and say goodbye. My heart is breaking with you and I am so very sorry dear Vapid. {{{Hugs}}}.
 

LoveLikeCrazy

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I am so sorry for your dear friend Murry. I think you need to enjoy this time you have with him, but ultimately please put him first. CHF is a terrible way to pass...basically drowning in your own fluids. He probably can't eat because he doesn't have the energy to do it. His heart isn't pumping blood effectively to move his digestive tract...thats probably why he isn't digesting what he eats(which doesn't sound like he eats much at all). Believe me, i am not trying to be the dark cloud - I had to make this difficult decision for my beloved lab Bella last summer after she had a short 6 month bout of Osteosarcoma. It was the most difficult decision ever to choose "which day" was the right day to choose. In my case, she just gave me a look one day and i knew it was time and i could not keep her around for my own comfort.

Does your vet feel like he could be suffering? Sometimes even animals try to keep up face to please their owners. Only you know when the time is right. Enjoy every moment. Take lots of pictures. Give lots of hugs. Don't cry in front of him. One thing the vet told us was that dogs can sense sadness, so try to keep a happy demeanor around him. So sorry that you have to go through this. :(
 

distracts

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I'm so sorry. He seems like such a good little buddy and obviously loves you a lot. Take care. We all know how rough it is to watch one you love and know the end is near. *hugs*
 

Dee*Jay

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Vapid, my heart goes out to you and to dear Murray. Biggest hugs to you my friend.
 

canuk-gal

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HI VL:

:(sad :(( :cry: Healing vibes across the miles to your and yours. Murry is a sweetie.

kind regards, Sharon
 

HollyS

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My heart is heavy for you and Murray.
 

dk168

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Having a cat and a dog of my own, I dread the day when it is time for them too leave this earth, so hugs to the OP!

DK :((
 

sarahb

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I am so sorry your Murry is not well. You are giving him your love & that is the best gift you could give him right now. Hang in there.
 

monarch64

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VL, I'm so sorry to hear this. You are a sweet soul and a very kind human to have taken such good care of Murry all this time. The fact that you are there for him during his passing on from this life is nice, though, and he knows on some level that he is surrounded by love and in a safe place. That is really a blessing for you both. My heart goes out to you and I will be thinking about you and wishing you strength during this very sad and difficult time.
 

arkieb1

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I am deeply sorry big hugs I know how difficult it is to lose a much loved family member. Have you tried grilled chicken and different varieties of wet high end cat food? It might sound a bit crazy but that was all I could get one of our much loved Scotties that had liver cancer to eat when she was near the end. We had to put a Scottie puppy (who I loved dearly) down from congenital heart failure about 4/5 months ago and I spent a week in tears. They were treating him with Viagra - which again sounds weird but it helps some dogs (and people) with some forms of heart failure.
 

luv2sparkle

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Oh Vapid, I am so sorry! I am so sad for Murray. He sounds like such a sweet boy. Big huge hugs.
 

kgizo

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VL, I am so sorry about what Murry is going through. Hugs to you both.
 

Dancing Fire

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VL, I'm so sorry to hear this... :(sad all I can offer you is a BIG HUG.
 

stracci2000

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Oh, I am so sorry. I went through this same situation May with my beloved cat Vincent.
We love our pets so much, and hate to see them suffer.
It hurts so bad, I know.
 

Calliecake

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VL, I am so sorry to hear about your sweet baby. You are doing everything possible to make him feel comfortable and loved. I wish there was something I could do to mend your heart. As a pet owner, we all dread the day we must say goodbye to our fur babies. I know I will feel the way you are feeling when the day comes. I am so so sorry. Please come back here for any support you need. We are here for you now and in the coming weeks. Callie
 

LLJsmom

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I am so sorry... Hope you hug Murry as much as possible.
 

AprilBaby

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What a sweet little face! Will be thinking of you and Murry in the coming days!
 

kmarla

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I'm so sorry to hear about your precious Murry. Our pets give us so much love and it is very painful to have to say goodbye to them. You are showing him so much love right to his last days and he is so very lucky to have you! I had to say goodbye to our beloved 15 year old Siamese who passed away in January this year from kidney failure, then our much loved 3 year old Yorkie passed away in June from complications after surgery for hydrocephalus, and our cocker spaniel was diagnosed with soft tissue cancer in September. I understand how sad you must be feeling right now and send many hugs to you and Murry.
 

yennyfire

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Oh VL, your post brought me to tears. I am so sorry that your beloved Murray isn't doing well but am glad that he doesn't seem to be in pain. Sending you both gentle hugs...
 

junebug17

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VL, I've tried several times to type a response to you and deleted them all because anything I write sounds so trite and inadequate. I just want you to know I am so very, very sorry to hear about murry - I have gotten a bit attached to him through your posts and pics - such a cool and special doggie - I am heartbroken about this and what you are going through right now. I lost a precious pet several years ago so I have some understanding of what you're going through. Many of us here do, unfortunately. You are not alone and I hope the posts in this thread bring you some measure of comfort and support. I think I still sound trite and inadequate, but hopefully my concern and caring come through anyway.
 

Begonia

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Ah jeez :blackeye:

Help him out of the world VL in the same loving way you been with him in the world. You can do this.

Love never dies.
 

AGBF

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I am so sorry, VL. I can only say that there is nothing worse in the world than going through this. I went through it with my beloved dog, Biscuit. I couldn't -I wouldn't-talk about it for a long time after his illness. I will, now, say he had the best death any dog ever had. He never knew he was going to be euthanized. He went to sleep before he had a shot to euthanize him. Before that I never cried or showed unhappiness, so he had no fear. He ate a lot of chocolate. When it is time you will know. With a good vet and good luck, maybe it can be the way it was for Biscuit.

For you it will never be all right that Murry got sick and suffered. But you will remember his whole life. And remembering the sad parts doesn't mean you will never love again.

Hugs.

Deb
 

AGBF

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LoveLikeCrazy|1416092549|3784338 said:
Don't cry in front of him. One thing the vet told us was that dogs can sense sadness, so try to keep a happy demeanor around him. So sorry that you have to go through this. :(

I didn't see this at first.

No one told me not to cry. But when I took my dog to be euthanized it was obvious to me that I shouldn't cry! I didn't want my poor boy to be afraid!!! I was upbeat and happy and playful and since he was a Lab and loved to go to the vet anyway he was happy as a clam to see her! Having chocolate and a dish of water on this visit made it even better!

The only problem was my damn husband, who wasn't nearly as attached to the dog as I was and who was crying like a baby!!! I tried sending him out of the room, but the dog started barking demandingly for him and the vet said he needed his "pack"! So we had to get the wretched man back in. And I threatened him on pain of his own death that he was not to cry in front of the dog!!!

I couldn't believe those stupid owners in the movie, "Marly and Me" crying when they should have been comforting their dog!!!

Sorry. I had to get that out.

Deb
 

lulu

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So sorry about Murry. Hang in there and remember that dogs are really good at hiding pain.
 

HopeDream

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Such a good sweet dog!
I'm sorry that he's not well. Though it's heartbreaking I hope both of you can enjoy the time you have left with Murry.
You are the best possible family Murry could have, so I'm sure he has the best care.
 

minousbijoux

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There is nothing harder than losing a best friend. VL, my deepest condolences. Hold him and love him just as you do, and know he is in his most beloved spot with you.
 
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