Is Sarcasm the same as a Healthy Sense of Humour?

[pyramid]

So I am not really experienced in this and it tends to get me riled up. So, Is Sarcasm the same as a Healthy Sense of Humour?
(Educational posts needed here).

Maybe Dancing Fire can be the Umpire as I need to learn from basics, not being sarcastic, I do think I need to both in my own life and in reading the boards.

DF would you do the honours or Kenny or somebody. (I know there is a moderator).

 

[quietlysw]

I see sarcasm as the new wave of "hipster anti-humour" that I seem to come in contact with on a daily basis.

My 25 year old stoner-punk friend and his entire group of 90s grungers went to Miley Cyrus' concert recently and found it hilarious that they were standing amongst her typical audience in their bleached hair and NOFX shirts. They went as a sarcastic joke, bought her merch and now walk around town in Bangerz tees. Sarcasm ftw.

It's not for everyone, but it's a new sense of humour that is reacting to our postmodern environment. Everything has already been found funny, so what's next? The unfunny.

 

[Circe]

I suppose it depends on how you define sarcasm. The traditional definition bases it in acrimony, bitterness, irony ... by that standard, no. But these days I find it's applied a lot more broadly to incongruous humor, or the unexpected. I suppose I'd say sarcasm can be part of a healthy sense of humor, but would probably represent a problem if it was the thing whole and entire. But I'd say the same about somebody who was all slapstick, all the time, so ....

 

[canuk-gal]

I see sarcasm as the new wave of "hipster anti-humour" that I seem to come in contact with on a daily basis.

My 25 year old stoner-punk friend and his entire group of 90s grungers went to Miley Cyrus' concert recently and found it hilarious that they were standing amongst her typical audience in their bleached hair and NOFX shirts. They went as a sarcastic joke, bought her merch and now walk around town in Bangerz tees. Sarcasm ftw.

It's not for everyone, but it's a new sense of humour that is reacting to our postmodern environment. Everything has already been found funny, so what's next? The unfunny.

This is sarcastic, correct?

 

[marymm]

I define sarcasm as ridicule, derision and mockery - sure, sometimes it can be funny (if you are not the target), but generally it has a harsh, cruel, negative vibe going for it which really doesn't make me laugh at all.

 

[kenny]

What is considered funny varies person to person, and culture to culture.
What is funny in culture X may be very NOT funny in culture Y.
People's use of sarcasm, and reaction to, sarcasm also varies.

People just vary.

I love animals, and I laughed my @ss off when I saw this pic.



I'm sure many think it's not funny.
No problem.
To them it is not funny.
To me, and clearly many others, it is funny.
People just vary.
Nothing's broken.

What IS broken is people thinking that people don't vary ... that the picture itself universally IS funny or universally ISN'T funny.

I dont' like the term 'healthy' sense of humor.
It implies people who don't find X funny have an unhealthy sense of humor.
Nonsense!
People who don't find things funny that some others find funny are not unhealthy.
They are just different.
Nobody is better or 'right'.

I will say this though, laughing is good for you.
The more you can do it ...

 

[marymm]

I would interpret that "Free Cat" pic as gallows humor/black humor - and I do find it funny in a dark way.

 

[monarch64]

I think online sarcasm tends to get lost in translation. Many people call it "snark" now. I think? I'm not completely sure, but that's my understanding. I really enjoy people's sarcasm or snark, as long as it doesn't get malicious or intentionally hurtful. I have learned, over the years, that PS is not a place where snark or sarcasm is welcomed. We've had several posters here who have had really sharp sense of humor and I've noticed their posts have tapered off, I think because that sort of thing isn't well-received on PS. It's cool--just happens to be the nature of the site.

Again, I appreciate humor and a bit of snark that is good-natured. But it is difficult to come across as humorous and sarcastic online, in my opinion. Here I find it is best to sort of hold back lest others think you have not-so-nice intentions. I frequent another site that has a forum where things are much more snarky and that's where I have my fun, because that's the expectation and general atmosphere. PS is much more refined and literal. And that's great.

 

[Gypsy]

I call my husband Sarcasmo. Because sarcasm is his super power. He also has a good sense of humor. Two different things.

My husband's sarcasm doesn't cut though. It isn't hurtful to other people-- though it is self-depreciating. Which is what often makes it funny.

I agree that people find different things funny. I do think sarcasm CAN be funny. And it can be unfunny.

It's just a tool. It can be used for good or evil.

As for a 'healthy' sense of humor. I agree that it is a judgmental way of putting it. People vary.

 

[TooPatient]

I define sarcasm as ridicule, derision and mockery - sure, sometimes it can be funny (if you are not the target), but generally it has a harsh, cruel, negative vibe going for it which really doesn't make me laugh at all.

Agreed.

I have known many people who use sarcasm as "humor" and chose to end contact with them permanently as soon as it was under my control. It is (in my experience) very harmful to the people around.

If you are talking about the "sarcasm" that I hear when the house is full of teenage girls, some of that can be funny. Not the stuff about people but the stuff about school or lack of time or whatever. (but I don't think that is the same as sarcasm in the traditional sense)

 

[chrono]

The line for both will vary from person to person and if looked at from a broad view, it is likely to overlap, meaning what one person finds funny, another might find it sarcastic.

 

[sonnyjane]

The line for both will vary from person to person and if looked at from a broad view, it is likely to overlap, meaning what one person finds funny, another might find it sarcastic.

This. For me, it's funny, and I am drawn to other friends that use sarcasm.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree with Circe. It depends how you define sarcasm. If you define it as "cutting of the flesh" and the jokes are at the expense of others, I find it very unhealthy and cruel.

 

[Maisie]

I'm hardly ever sarcastic so if I am its because someone has annoyed me and I'm being mean. I don't find sarcasm funny. I hate to be on the receiving end of it. My husband is sarcastic but he doesn't use it on me. I would hate that.

 

[dk168]

I do not like to be at the receiving end of sarcasm as I seldom find it funny or witty.

I avoid the company of those who constantly dish out sarcasms, as I often find them to be very negative with their glasses half empty.

I do not dish out sarcasm myself, as I prefer to be direct, honest and upfront, and tell it as it is without any hidden agenda.

I am a lot more diplomatic online and in written communications than in person!

DK

 

[HollyS]

Sarcasm, used extensively, as a habit, is not healthy. Someone who feels the need to be always sarcastic is an unhappy person. Notice that I said "always". Not sometimes. We're all sarcastic occasionally.

Comedians, employing sarcasm as a way to get us to laugh at ourselves or the absurdity of life, are not usually trying to be deliberately cruel. I use Joan Rivers as an example. She could say the most offensively nasty thing about someone . . . as part of her schtick. And I didn't care for it. But people who met her, worked with her, thought she was a lovely person who went out of her way to treat everyone with respect and courtesy.

I love Kenny's example. Yes, I'm sorry the cat is dead. But that sign was funny.

 

[arkieb1]

Depends if it is upbeat, witty and funny sarcasm, deeply biting sarcasm making a comment on something say political or something in society which can be serious or funny or indeed both or if it is just plain mean and nasty sarcasm.

I think there are different types of sarcasm and different tones in the type of sarcasm used.

 

[missy]

I agree with the posters who wrote it depends on the type of sarcasm. I find edgy humor/dark humor very funny. Just not at someone else's expense.

When sarcasm is used in a contemptuous way (which I think is the most common way sarcasm is used), used to ridicule and scorn it is mean and can be harmful. However not all sarcasm is meant to ridicule people and it can be a gentle form of teasing actually showing affection. Positive sarcasm is OK. Negative sarcasm is not.

I also have no problem with a comedienne using it as part of their act (if they are funny) however I don't think there is any usefulness to negative sarcasm in a loving relationship. It can convey anger, negativity and insecurity and can eat away at the health of one's relationship IMO.

 

[ksinger]

Maybe it would be more helpful to make the distinction between sarcastic, sardonic, satirical, and ironic. It's harder to make a true distinction than one would think.

It seems like a lot of people are applying the word "sarcastic" to several things that are better called something else. For instance, Kenny's cat is not sarcastic, it's gallows humor, or irony. And yes, I confess I found it darkly humorous. And someone like John Stewart can make massive mock of someone like Mitch McConnell (a favorite of his) and what he does does not even twitch my sarcasm sensor. It's mocking, to be sure, but sarcasm? Satire fits it better.

Sarcasm has an element of "personal" in it (it seems) since so many people talk about it being mean or cutting, which really only has meaning when a personal to-your-face angle is added. Many definitions of it include the idea that it is often dependent on tone of voice, and which may be why it plays so badly in print vs that voice.

Sarcasm CAN be funny IMO, but only when mixed in with the other bits above, and a nice dash of making fun of one's self. A steady diet of sarcasm isn't truly funny, it's just lame, and smacks of a bitter view of too much of life.

 

[junebug17]

I'm not even completely sure what sarcasm is! I looked it up (vocabulary has gone downhill) and Merriam-Webster says:
1
: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2
a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual

And all the synonyms for it have negative connotations: barb, cut, affront

So…I'm thinking IRL sarcasm probably isn't the best way to make people laugh, since the joke is on them…

Here are a few lines from a routine from one of my favorite comedians, Jim Gaffigan, I'm paraphrasing - I think these are examples of sarcasm.

"Someone gave me a candle for Christmas. I said "you know I have electricity, right?' "

"I got a sweater for Christmas and the person told me to return it if I didn't like it. I said "Great, thanks for giving me an errand to do.' '

I think both these lines are very funny, but I'd never say them to someone IRL!

 

[kenny]

"Someone gave me a candle for Christmas. I said "you know I have electricity, right?' "

"I got a sweater for Christmas and the person told me to return it if I didn't like it. I said "Great, thanks for giving me an errand to do.' '

I think both these lines are very funny, but I'd never say them to someone IRL!

Junebug, I think you just hit the nail on the head.
Humor is often about something forbidden.

I also find these two gift things funny but like you I would never give those replies to the giver of those gifts.
Doing so would not be funny; it would be over-the-top rude.

Likewise I'll laugh at the FREE CAT pic, but I'd never place the sign there if the cat's human was standing there.

When it comes to humor there's a huge difference between real life and hypothetical.

Apparently, some people think there's no difference and finding these 3 things funny is as improper as if you said those things to the giver of the gifts or put the sing up in the presence of the cat owner.

 

[wakingdreams53]

I'm generally annoyingly sarcastic. Once in the habit of it, it's hard to not retort in a way that could be construed as "bitchy."
We're doing a premarital course which clearly illustrates the negativity of sarcasm, so I'm trying to ween off of it.
It's important to understand though-- my little sister is having difficulty not getting offended by my mother's sarcasm. (think of us as Dorothy and Sophia from Golden Girls)

 

[kenny]

Is this sarcasm?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd4tugPM83c&spfreload=10

 

[kenny]

Now, here's some sarcasm that even I don't find funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0nnU71ggro&spfreload=10

Of course, anyone who would find that funny has a lower bar for sarcasm than mine which makes them a worthless scumbag ... to whom I am vastly superior.

 

[telephone89]

I'm very sarcastic, and so is my partner. I think we compliment each other like that.

'Sense of humour' is so incredibly vague, and what some people like in others' sense of humour can be totall different than what someone else likes. I think that sarcastic people tend to gravitate towards sarcastic people, possibly because they don't think they will offend them (as easily) and because the banter is fun.

 

[kenny]

I think that sarcastic people tend to gravitate towards sarcastic people ...

Good point.
I think we all tend to surround ourselves with people like us.

Then along comes this dang Internet thing and suddenly, it's like, "Who let those people in?"