Why is PS slower than 10 yrs ago?

[kenny]

Someone up there posted about "not being able to take constructive criticism." I remember 3 threads (mine was one of them) where the OPs were attacked and piled on unmercifully. The "opinions" given seemed to be agreed upon according to friendships, were far from kind, and were delivered with a shove it down your throat mentality. And even after a couple practically pegged posters to stop, they were made fun of through cruel icons and pictures.

After that I could see why no one out of the loop would want to post anything of substance anymore.

This drips with victim mentality.

Like DF I also just roll with the punches.
If it gets to a certain point I just stop responding to a person.

I don't miss the overly-sensitive who have left. You know what they say, if you can't take the heat ...
I'd much rather have a forum that's jumping, interesting and challenging.
How many baskets of puppies can you say Aww! for?

What did you expect ... starting a thread on children on leashes?

My dear Kenny. You are misunderstanding my response. The thread question asked - Why is ebay so slow. Of course, you would rather have a jumping, interesting forum. Well, sane people who have so many other options out there, apparently do not want to deal with bullies. And, in those instances, you did not get your own memo to know when to stop taunting. So they left.

As far as a victim mentality, I worked in the public school system at the middle school level. Nothing anyone on here can throw at me to top that. But like other apparently missing posters, we have found other places where we can participate in stimulating conversations without the drama. Might be the reason why those places are still very busy!

Great.
Everyone is where they like to be.

Dear?
ebay?
bullies?
getting memo?
taunting?
drama?

Can't you just post without the garbage?
What you write will be more powerful when you don't resort to that stuff.

 

[ruby59]

Sorry, Kenny. But I have a life beyond these boards and did not have time to do a thorough edit. Sorry, you do not like the way I write, but I stand by my response. You are a bully. People are sick of it and leaving. So now you can continue to talk to yourself.

 

[kenny]

Sorry, Kenny. But I have a life beyond these boards and did not have time to do a thorough edit. Sorry, you do not like the way I write, but I stand by my response. You are a bully. People are sick of it and leaving. So now you can continue to talk to yourself.

Whatev.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Alj and Mara used to beat me up every night and I'm still alive...

 

[ruby59]

Sorry, Kenny. But I have a life beyond these boards and did not have time to do a thorough edit. Sorry, you do not like the way I write, but I stand by my response. You are a bully. People are sick of it and leaving. So now you can continue to talk to yourself.

Whatev.

Someone said the real problem on here is people who act like 12 year old girls. Well, Kenny, I guess they must have meant you afterall.

 

[arkieb1]

I agree with Trekkie, P/S needs better security ie everyone should HAVE to be signed in and monitored rather than allowing more unidentified lurkers in than members, which is frequently the case.

About 9 months ago a guy who belonged to an International coin collecting forum who lives literally 25 mins away from my house was broken into by thieves who had been monitoring him for months via his forum. They stole over $250 000 worth of rare coins, knew where he lived, where the safe in his house was and took welding cutting equipment to get into it. They guy was a returned soldier so it was a really low act and I don't think they have found who did it. My husband thinks I am nuts to post pics of anything I own on here.

Who can blame people for forming separate f/b groups and for talking to each other privately (I do with members that are friends) because it does feel way more secure.

 

[kenny]

I was bullied mercilessly as a kid.
It stopped when I figured out I was inviting it, encouraging it, nurturing it, and thriving on it.

Not an easy lesson to learn.
Playing the victim has great payoffs.

 

[Circe]

I was bullied mercilessly as a kid.
It stopped when I figured out I was inviting it, encouraging it, nurturing it, and thriving on it.

Not an easy lesson to learn.
Playing the victim has great payoffs.

Say more? I was bullied fairly badly, too, not for playing the victim, more for playing pretend and reading too much, and it only stopped when I learned to fight properly. It always gets my back up when people talk about a "victim mentality" ... that sounds an awful lot like victim blaming, and while it's probably practically easier to fix the one problem kid than the larger problematic culture, it still leaves you with an ongoing problem!!!

Ruby, I remember your thread ... FWIW, while I'm sorry you felt set upon, I do think there's a big difference between a one-on-one snit between posters, like this one, and a bunch of people just ... disagreeing with somebody's premise. I think of it as "bullying" when the one-on-one thing turns into a petty feud persisting across threads (we've all seen the posters who just *cannot stop hammering* at the people they dislike, even when it's completely off topic), or when a bunch of people pile on and engage in ad hominem attacks, as opposed to just, you know, civilly disagreeing.

I like the fact that we can disagree on here. But I do hope it's not at the expense of people's pleasure in the forum overall. Interesting to try to strike the right balance ....

 

[ruby59]

I was bullied mercilessly as a kid.
It stopped when I figured out I was inviting it, encouraging it, nurturing it, and thriving on it.

Not an easy lesson to learn.
Playing the victim has great payoffs.

Yes, I know you were bullied as a child. So your answer is payback. But you do it as a nameless, faceless entity on a computer screen. What about real life? I doubt you act the same way. I treat people and act the same in both worlds - I am neither the bully nor the victim. I do not have to be.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I was bullied on a thread a few years back. Of course the bully wasn't brave enough to post under their *real* name so I think it said way more about him/her than my post. Either way, it was inappropriate. Group Speak is a real thing and can be really scary with the wrong motives. People are braver behind computer screens and when other people back them up. I think another problem is communication is mostly made up by non-verbals. Here, we only get written words. Facial expression, tone, body language is all lost. However, I have seen some pretty rude stuff...stuff that would be difficult to misinterpret. I don't like to see anyone shamed or insulted.

 

[HopeDream]

So how can we make PS a better place?

Does PS need a safe-word?

Going on the premise that the text nature of forums makes tone hard to read, and that consequently folks may accidentally take jokes/sarcasm as stone cold truth, or take an honest opinion harshly, Would it be helpful if the OP could use some kind of safe-word to halt the discussion and let the other posters know the conversation is no longer civil?

Something like this -->

The internet is such a boisterous place, that it's easy to get carried away without realizing it.

Just throwing it out there.


(I love all of you, and I don't care who knows it!)

 

[Snowdrop13]

It doesn't seem that slow to me but then I've only been a member for 3 years and don't post that often. I was a lurker for a loooooong time and joined in order to have access to Preloved threads. I do agree with the comments about security though- looking at the stats at the bottom of the page there are 40 users and 438 "guests" online at present. I'm sure most of them are here to read the vast quantities of educational material but you just don't know!

 

[missy]

I agree with those who write that everyone should have to be a member and logged in to read any of the threads. What's the downside? It will discourage some sure but if someone really wants the educational info then it will be worth the extra step to become a member and then always log in. Of course it doesn't mean PS will be 100% safe but it does make it at least more secure IMO.

As for people who might act meanly at times and even cross the line into bullying my advice is just to ignore the specific person and not fuel the fire. It's one way to stop them in their tracks. You don't know them and they don't know you and they don't matter in your life at all. Why deal with the nastiness of a poster or 2? If people cannot behave civilly no need to teach them how to. That's their problem and no need to make it yours.

 

[Andelain]

I'd like to see it where Rockytalk is open to lurkers, and other like Hangout and SMTB are for logged-in members.

 

[RandG]

I'm a relative newbie so I can't speak to why legacy members are dropping off, but as a newer member, I really appreciate the commonality this site can afford. I do find the tone can be disheartening, at times. I am most troubled by the security aspect though. I didn't understand it at first but after being contacted by a member offline and seeing some of the sidebar chatter and comments, which included personal and identifying information about members (a deal breaker for me), I scaled back my participation greatly. I still love reading about the journey of others, particularly when it concerns old cuts. And if I can offer a nugget of insight, I still do, but with more caution and reserve. It will be a while, if ever, before I post anything personal or share photos of my pieces again.

 

[OreoRosies86]

If there were attempts to mock, out, and expose other members in a "secret group" then I wouldn't be surprised at all that people have left permanently. As I said in an old thread, I know that territory all too well and it is toxic.

 

[arkieb1]

I'd like to see it where Rockytalk is open to lurkers, and other like Hangout and SMTB are for logged-in members.

That is a really great idea. Separate areas where newbies and people coming to learn ie anyone really can see the conversations like Rockytalk and maybe the things that are for sale (everyone likes that as well) and the advertisers that sponsor the site still get exposure via the 800+ or 900+ lurkers that can see the ads. But there are closed sections like where there are pics of us and we talk about our personal lives. Maybe even showing off our things should be private that way people have to sign in and be part of the actual community to access some parts of P/S - making it far more secure.

 

[chrono]

What's to stop a troublemaker/potential thief from using a fake ID and email to get into the closed section of PS to stalk/get more info on other PS members?

 

[Andelain]

What's to stop a troublemaker/potential thief from using a fake ID and email to get into the closed section of PS to stalk/get more info on other PS members?

IP logging for one. They'd have to go to plenty of extra effort to hide where they're posting from, the admins here could sniff out dupe and repeat accounts a lot more than they do if they wanted to. It's not a perfect solution, but it does keep pic and personal forums out of the public eye much better than how it is now. We'd also still want the policy against giving real names and contact info in our posts.

 

[Calliecake]

I'd like to see it where Rockytalk is open to lurkers, and other like Hangout and SMTB are for logged-in members.

+100. Great suggestion Andelain!

 

[chrono]

It's easy to set up fake email and login from a public library or Internet cafe.

 

[missy]

It's easy to set up fake email and login from a public library or Internet cafe.

But it makes it more difficult all around and anything that can be done to discourage crime is good. Every step that makes something illegal more difficult is a good step. For example, I have a safe and I have a home alarm. Either of which can be broken into of course (very little is foolproof) but it makes it all that much harder.

 

[chrono]

To do the above is very quick and easy (I can create a fake account in seconds) and going to a public internet place isn't much of an effort. To a thief, the rewards are much greater than the setup work. As mentioned prior, if the thief plans to track the poster's whereabouts and find out where they live, this method of protection is akin to having nothing at all; it gives an illusion of protection.

 

[Mara]

People hate me and have left.
Mara was first.
Go read about it on that private FB group.

Do I have to remind you of the thread not too long ago where everyone said how much they love you!

Not Mara.
I met her in SF and the windows froze, shattered and fell to the street below.
Not sure why she wanted to peel my skin off cover me in salt and leave me in the desert.

Oh Kenny, what a flair for the dramatic you have!
I vaguely recall the PS GTG in SF years ago... we all had a nice lunch, you and I were at opposite ends of the very long table chatting with different people, no drama? I do remember going shopping after with a few gals and getting some great fitting jeans-funny what we remember.

I also can't even recall you and I even really corresponding much on PS... now DF is another story.

As for PS being more quiet and/or slow than 10 years ago-- IMO it's nothing quite so dramatic as anyone would believe. People changed, lives changed, people got married, had kids, priorities changed. Offline friendships were formed, I have made numerous friends who were connected to PS, but now our relationships continue elsewhere. Also PS itself changed, with 2.0, I think it just coincided with people being ready to leave at the time. I've been online in some way/shape/form for almost 18 years and groups are like that, they mature, people leave, return, others come, it lives on, usually different, not quite the same.

I still lurk here and there on PS, I love to see people's new acquisitions and all the photos, but my priorities are different now. Also I prefer the posting style on FB--it can be more random and spontaneous than starting a thread here. Plus I appreciate knowing who I am talking to on FB vs the anonymity of PS.

ETA... I think I saw posted earlier 'Be the change you want to see'... if people feel like PS is slow, post more! That'll liven things up.

 

[Matata]

I still lurk here and there on PS, I love to see people's new acquisitions and all the photos, but my priorities are different now.

Mara I miss you so very much. J must be a big boy now. Hope everyone in your life is well and happy. Every time I carry one of my Balenciagas or wear a piece of jewelry I own solely due to your enabling, I think of you. Hugs.

 

[Andelain]

It's easy to set up fake email and login from a public library or Internet cafe.

I know that. It's also possible for the admins to weed those accounts out. Like I said, it wouldn't be perfect, but it would be more private than what we have now.

 

[Andelain]

To do the above is very quick and easy (I can create a fake account in seconds) and going to a public internet place isn't much of an effort. To a thief, the rewards are much greater than the setup work. As mentioned prior, if the thief plans to track the poster's whereabouts and find out where they live, this method of protection is akin to having nothing at all; it gives an illusion of protection.

Are you saying you'd rather leave it like it is now, where thieves don't even have to go to that much effort?

Bear in mind that I never suggested dropping our guards in other ways, or giving out info that we don't already.

 

[Mara]

I still lurk here and there on PS, I love to see people's new acquisitions and all the photos, but my priorities are different now.

Mara I miss you so very much. J must be a big boy now. Hope everyone in your life is well and happy. Every time I carry one of my Balenciagas or wear a piece of jewelry I own solely due to your enabling, I think of you. Hugs.

Awww Matata so sweet! I miss you too. J is huge, he's almost 5, 43 inches tall, such a boy-- so crazy how fast they grow. I do miss those crazy PS enabling days...! Crockpots, Balenciagas, Charlotte pants. The days!

 

[kenny]

Welcome back Mara.

 

[chrono]

Protection is an individual's responsilibity. Don't post pictures of yourself and family, don't bring up where you live and other such obvious markers.