Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cruel?

[mia1181]

So DD never really took the pacifier! She was breastfed and a great nurser right from the start so I was never worried about nipple confusion. I do sleep-training though, so I was more worried about getting her to self-sooth as soon as possible. I tried so hard to get her to accept a pacifier. It wasn't so much that she used me as a pacifier, but I just felt like it would make sleep training so much easier if she had some way to help sooth herself. I tried loveys and that sort of thing too, she just wasn't into any of it. It wasn't the way I thought it, would be, but it all worked out in the end. We were able to successfully sleep train her and she was sleeping through the night by 4 months-ish. In the end it wasn't traumatic and as a bonus, we never had to take a pacifier away. We were also lucky that she never sucked her thumb either.

Now that DS is almost here I am kinda thinking about not giving him one. Is that crazy? Would it be cruel to not even try? Does anyone ever do that? I was thinking there are probably some people that take breastfeeding very seriously that never offer one, but I'm not like that. I know tons of kiddos who breastfeed great and also take a paci. I also think about way back when they didn't have pacifiers. Surely babies and their parents survived without them.

But then I know we will sleep train again and pacifiers are a great way to ease baby into soothing himself. And I think thumb-sucking is a much more difficult behavior to stop.

What are your thoughts? Am I crazy for thinking we might be able to skip a pacifier again? I honestly don't know anyone who never offered their kid a pacifier.

 

[amc80]

Re: Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cru

No. The first night in the hospital was awful. B just cried and cried. My OB came in the next morning to check on me and I mentioned it and she said "um did you try a pacifier?" NO. Didn't even think about it. We gave him one and he liked it but was never really attached to it. But if that meant the difference between a happy, quiet baby and a screaming one? Yeah, I'd give the paci. I don't think it's a decision you need to make now- just see how it goes.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cru

I agree that you should see how it goes. I subscribe to the "do what works" category. My first loved her paci (still does at 2.5). My second spit the paci out on day 1 and has not ever wanted one. But she sucks on her middle and ring fingers to self soothe, which I don't mind because they're always available.

I was worried that not having a paci would keep me from sleeping training #2, but that wasn't the case at all. My second started STTN before my first did.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Re: Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cru

E sucked his hand/arm/fingers in utero and was born sucking on his hands.

DH offered a paci at around 6 weeks b/c he was convinced it would help E cry less...E spit it out everytime.

I really think it depends on the kid have one on hand in case you want to try it, but go with your baby's cues...

 

[lambskin]

Re: Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cru

I sucked my thumb way too lon and $$$orthodontia, time and pain later...fast forward for my kids-no problems giving them the paci. When it was time for them to get rid of it we sort of did the tooth fairy thing and they left it under the pillow and a small gift appeared that next morning. They never looked back.

 

[Niel]

Re: Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cru

at the hospital they didnt even ask. my DH and i really didnt want to give my DD one, and we werent planning to but boom she got rolled in with one in her mouth.

as a young infant they are totally worth it IMHO. my husband and i agreed she couldnt have one when she started walking butt she wasover them at like 4 mo

 

[mia1181]

Re: Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cru

Haha well I guess so far this thread is a pretty clear representation of what I know IRL, everyone at least tries the pacifier.

I guess my thing is that if I had to do it over again with DD, I wouldn't have stressed so much about her not taking the pacifier, it turned out just fine. But, you guys are right, I should at least give DS the opportunity and if he doesn't take it, at least I will know it will probably be just fine.

Thanks for your input everyone!

 

[pancake]

Re: Anyone NEVER offer baby a pacifier? Or is that crazy/cru

My view is very much that for that first ~8 week period, do whatever works, whatever keeps your baby calm and meets his/her needs, and whatever maintains your sanity. You're not going to form any "bad habits" in that time and any "good habits" you wish to encourage can be worked on later.

HOWEVER.

It all depends very much on the temperament of your baby, your temperaments as parents, and then of course, a large amount of discretion about what you do and don't want to do. If you don't WANT to offer a pacifier, then don't. I don't think it's cruel, but I do think that sometimes baby do just want to suck and that sometimes, giving extra feeds is not the answer (the first week notwithstanding - then I would feed as often as baby wants in order to encourage BM to come in).

I'd go with the flow and see what happens.