34 kids! A father but not a dad.

[kenny]

Move over Octomom.
This successful producer has fathered 34 kids with 17 women.

I don't know what the limit is, but no matter how much money you have nobody can be a parent to so many kids.
Obviously men can produce more kids than women can, but there should be a law limiting how many kids anyone can have.

In this short video it looks like he doesn't like being held accountable.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/05/iyanla-vanzant-jay-williams-father-of-34-children_n_5768680.html

The comments below are illuminating.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Move over Octomom.
This successful producer has fathered 34 kids with 17 women.

I don't know what the limit is, but no matter how much money you have nobody can be a parent to so many kids.
Obviously men can produce more kids than women can, but there should be a law limiting how many kids anyone can have.

In this short video it looks like he doesn't like being held accountable.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/05/iyanla-vanzant-jay-williams-father-of-34-children_n_5768680.html

The comments below are illuminating.

IMO...one child limit if taxpayers are paying to support the child.

 

[arkieb1]

Wow, I think his punishment should be that all the mothers of his kids go on a holiday he pays for, for at least a month and he has to take care of all the kids. Maybe then this halfwit would have some sense of the responsibility that goes with actually caring for that many children.

 

[Gypsy]

When I was single in DC I went on ONE date with this guy I had met.

Why one date? I discovered he had two kids by two different women, a third on the way and didn't believe in using condoms because he found them 'uncomfortable.'

He was only 24.

I couldn't get away from him fast enough.

A year later someone invited me to a party in Maryland, and I thought, why not? Happened that he was there with baby momma #3. She was doing ice shots while holding the baby. As I watched (in horror, all the while cursing that I had gotten a ride to the party and frantically trying to find a cab service to come and pick me up and take me home), she got so drunk that she couldn't hold the baby anymore. Couldn't figure out where to put it down either. So I walked up to daddy, grabbed him by the collar and took him over to her, and made him take the baby. He mentioned in passing that there was a baby momma #4 now as well, and hit on me again.

It was appalling.

 

[TC1987]

For each baby, there's also a baby-mama to blame. This over-breeding crap will continue as long as the baby-mamas can marry the state and live off the taxpayers. Have a baby or 2 or 3 as a poor single mom and it's amazing how much government aid you get. There was a story on AllNurses about a CNA (nurse aide) single mom with either 4 or 5 kids. She went to school and became a R.N., then earned $60k as a R.N. and actually has a significantly reduced standard of living now, because she suddenly had to foot the total bill for all those kids.

 

[TC1987]

IMO...one child limit if taxpayers are paying to support the child.

Me, too. One might be a mistake or accident. But after the first one, you know what causes babies and how to control that.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I guess he broke Hatchett's record...

 

[Indylady]

For each baby, there's also a baby-mama to blame. This over-breeding crap will continue as long as the baby-mamas can marry the state and live off the taxpayers. Have a baby or 2 or 3 as a poor single mom and it's amazing how much government aid you get. There was a story on AllNurses about a CNA (nurse aide) single mom with either 4 or 5 kids. She went to school and became a R.N., then earned $60k as a R.N. and actually has a significantly reduced standard of living now, because she suddenly had to foot the total bill for all those kids.

What is wrong with you? Over-breeding? Political issues aside, you have a way of talking about people as if they are not human.

 

[Sky56]

I guess he makes up for my zero breeding capability.

 

[Dancing Fire]

The father should be jailed for child abandonment.

 

[kenny]

I think the govmnt should electrocute his weenie off.

 

[ksinger]

The "government"? Really? Careful what you wish for. We've already tried this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_sterilization

 

[mr_kroshka]

It's ONLY 34 kids. He has a long way to go before he beats the record of 860 (by Ismail Ibn Sharif, Alaouite sultan of Morocco, said to have fathered 525 sons and 342 daughters with multiple wives and concubines)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_with_the_most_children

 

[Calliecake]

When I was single in DC I went on ONE date with this guy I had met.

Why one date? I discovered he had two kids by two different women, a third on the way and didn't believe in using condoms because he found them 'uncomfortable.'

He was only 24.

I couldn't get away from him fast enough.

A year later someone invited me to a party in Maryland, and I thought, why not? Happened that he was there with baby momma #3. She was doing ice shots while holding the baby. As I watched (in horror, all the while cursing that I had gotten a ride to the party and frantically trying to find a cab service to come and pick me up and take me home), she got so drunk that she couldn't hold the baby anymore. Couldn't figure out where to put it down either. So I walked up to daddy, grabbed him by the collar and took him over to her, and made him take the baby. He mentioned in passing that there was a baby momma #4 now as well, and hit on me again.

It was appalling.

The guy is defintely a scumbag. How I would have loved to be a fly on the wall and get to see you drag him over to his baby's mom.
I also wonder what the heck is wrong with these women. If I guy isn't supporting the children he already has what in world would make someone think he's going to be a decent father to any future child he will father.

 

[kenny]

The "government"? Really? Careful what you wish for. We've already tried this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_sterilization

Well, maybe we need to set him up on a date with Lorena Bobbitt.

 

[Gypsy]

I also wonder what the heck is wrong with these women.

Many, many things. I don't get it either.

 

[VRBeauty]

I find it very interesting that so many people (here, and elsewhere on the internet) are assuming that this guy is a deadbeat dad and that some, if not most of his children are being raised on public assistance.

Another story about Jay WIlliams indicates that he has adopted nine kids in addition to the 34 children mentioned in the original story. I suppose it's possible that he somehow managed to adopt nine children without passing some sort of means test - nine times - but it's highly unlikely. It's also possible that 17 women would willingly raise children fathered by a successful video producer, without getting financial support from him, and not one of them would sue for child support - but again, it's highly unlikely.

Please rest assured that I'm not supporting this guy's choices or his rationale or anything. I do find it disturbing that so many would jump to the conclusion that the kids he fathered are on the dole.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I must have missed the part that his kids are on public assistance or he doesn't pay child support. Didn't it say he has a successful career? I find it SO interesting that he agreed to those dolls in the video. I am guessing they would have done the interview even without the extra drama. I think 34 is a lot of kids, but I try not to judge other people's choices and the moms played a part. Birth control goes both ways.

 

[ksinger]

I find it very interesting that so many people (here, and elsewhere on the internet) are assuming that this guy is a deadbeat dad and that some, if not most of his children are being raised on public assistance.

Another story about Jay WIlliams indicates that he has adopted nine kids in addition to the 34 children mentioned in the original story. I suppose it's possible that he somehow managed to adopt nine children without passing some sort of means test - nine times - but it's highly unlikely. It's also possible that 17 women would willingly raise children fathered by a successful video producer, without getting financial support from him, and not one of them would sue for child support - but again, it's highly unlikely.

Please rest assured that I'm not supporting this guy's choices or his rationale or anything. I do find it disturbing that so many would jump to the conclusion that the kids he fathered are on the dole.

It's not that much of a stretch to think that someone who has the attitude that it's OK to create litters of children on multiple women and not be married to any of them, might hold the attitude that paying for them is equally out of style. That and the fact that most normal people realize that even if you have the money - which I doubt he has unless his other name is Bill Gates - you would never have the time to be a father to that many kids. People are acting as if the only consideration is whether he can pay for them, and if he can, well then, we can't judge. As the daughter of a father who paid but was mostly absent in my life, I damn sure CAN judge. And I do.

(Just to do a bit of math here - I'll use my friend who paid child support until a few years ago, and at that time, he was forking out 650 a month in a low income state. So that was about 6 years ago, let's round up to 700, which may still be a bit low depending on location, maybe someone more current on this can chime in. Since his oldest is reported to be 26, let's just give him say, 6 kids over 18. So that leaves him 28 kids to pay child support to, not including the other 9 he's "adopted". That is $19600 per month, or $235200 per year - pretty much every year - of after tax dollars JUST to pay for kids. He'd better be making some DAMN fine money to pay that. Odds are he does not.)

What I find just as interesting, is why anyone would think his previous children would factor into how a subsequent woman would react to him. People almost evince an attitude like all these women all know each other and everyone KNOWS that he's a deadbeat or serial sperm donor and that their circumstances and motivations were all the same. While I know every single person on this board has never had ill-advised sex they later regretted, or or slept with someone prior to a complete background check, or had an unplanned pregnancy, I still see this as 17 individual women making individual mistakes maybe twice each, while HE keeps doing the same thing..over and over and over.

As for the so-called adoptions, read closer and it says "he has embraced or adopted". I'm thinking perhaps the article may be playing fast and loose with the word "adoption" in the legal sense. At the very least, doubt is cast on all of them being means tested or having gone through the legal system. Honestly, how would one guy even have time to go through all the rigamarole of adopting 9 kids. The mind boggles.

It's also helpful to remember that HE called the life-coach because "he wanted to be a better dad", so at least there is a glimmer in his obviously not terribly deep head, that maybe he's made a few bad moves, although from the looks of it, he's having a hard time with that responsibility idea.

I'm almost tempted to watch the other shows on this guy. It says some of the women involved are going to weigh in on subsequent shows. That'd be interesting I'm sure.

 

[perry]

While the situation raises questions in my mind - I agree that there seems to be a lot of assumptions here and judgments being made on those assumptions.

I do not know enough of the case to really judge. He may be very irresponsible - or he may in fact be fairly responsible. Based on what is being reported - assuming it is reasonably accurate - I doubt that he is totally irresponsible - otherwise "child services" would have him legally tied up and the article would mention that.

There is nothing wrong with being a sperm donor (even a serial sperm donor); and a fair amount of children are intentionally conceived without the use of formal sperm centers and Fertility Doctors. Why is there a stigma attached to the fact that someone decides to be (or for a female to use) a "natural" sperm donor instead of dropping at least 5 figures (and often a solid 5 figures) into the medical fertility clinics. I am aware that the medical clinics offer a solid legal shield of financial responsibility in all states and countries; but, some states, and countries, do recognize natural sperm donors with appropriate prior legal documentation (and some states do not recognize them at all). Other parties just accept the legal risk and agree to create a wanted baby.

The questions get into the details of how and why each woman had a child fathered by him - and then you have to look at the overall and pay attention to the exceptions (as sometimes we do make mistakes along the way).

When a couple finds they cannot have children (or one party does not want children and the other does) their are a standard set of questions that almost every couple asks between themselves. In some cases the answers to some of the questions are an automatic no for that option; but, they at least verbalize the questions and answer them:

For the man wanting a child (and their partner cannot or will not) - can I have a child with another woman. If so, how do you select the woman - and under what conditions.

For the woman wanting a child (and their partner cannot or will not) - can I have a child with another man. If so how do you select the man - and under what conditions.

For both: Natural intercourse vs artificial insemination, Fertility clinic vs private arrangement.

Is adoption a viable option to meet the desires and needs.

Who raises the child, is there any financial compensation, etc - are all details that are unique to the couple and the situation. In many of these cases child services never becomes involved because the children are adequately supported - or appropriate legal boundaries were established.

There is this though - if a couple faces this question; their marriage likely depends on them agreeing to a workable concept for both of them. Some men have became a sperm donors for children with other woman they do not raise. Some woman have had children for other men they do not raise as well.

In addition - some single people decide to have children as well without getting married. The wisdom of that depends on the person and the situation. I personally believe that some kind of long term arrangement structure is best (marriage or long term civil union); but, that does not always apply.

I tend to withhold personal judgment unless I know the details of the situation.

Have a great day,

Perry

 

[packrat]

Based on the article Kenny linked, I think the guy sounds like a dick. "I want to be a better dad to my 34 kids but ooooo these 14 dolls are so hard to hold at one time and I just don't feel like it". A grip on reality is apparently too hard to hold as well.