The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[JGator]

RT, sounds like you have a good plan in place and a great attitude despite the idiots at the RE office. Good luck to you!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Random, I guess I'm not surprised at their reaction, unfortunately. At least YOU know that you did get pregnant. Really hoping that was the kickstart you needed for a successfull cycle. Hopefully, you'll get some helpful information from the nurse.

So I took another FRER this morning, and the test line is still darker than the control, but I'm pretty sure it was not as dark in comparison to the test line as last week, so I'm wondering if my hcg is on the way down. Would you guys call to ask to do another blood test this week if you were me? Or should I just wait until next week for the ultrasound? The main reason I'm considering it is that if the level is starting to go down, I would think they would tell me to stop the PIO shots, and I'd have more of a chance of miscarrying on my own rather than needing a D&C. I'm just so ready to have this behind me. It's been almost 4 weeks of this uncertainty, and I just want to feel somewhat normal again.

 

[JGator]

MP, I would call and get an appt for this week. 2 weeks is too long!

 

[random_thought]

So I called back this morning and asked what exactly my number was and she said it came back at 1.68. I know that is a 0 in their world but it confirms to me that I got pregnant and my levels gradually got lower and lower. Last night I was passing fist sized blood clots about every other hour which they said indicates to them also that it was a chemical so they did mark it in their charts. I asked about progesterone and they said based on my history that my levels have always been normal but it's certainly a possibility and they would leave it up to me to schedule bloodwork for that this month or not. They also said I could try up to 6 months from now on our own and then when I was comfortable I could schedule up another consultation or schedule an iui, whatever worked better for me. That's kind of where I am right now.

 

[choro72]

Mp, if the beta goes down will they definitely conclude that it's a miscarriage? I personally won't call because if the numbers are slightly up that's more uncertainty anyway. But if you're so sure that the numbers will be down, maybe you should go ahead. Dr did say that the earlier you miscarry the better, and that it was the reason I bled for so long.

Rt, sorry about your chemical pregnancy, but glad your re is on the same page now.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Choro, yes, that's exactly my dilemma. I did notice discolored discharge a couple times today, but it definitely didn't rise to the level of spotting. If I see that again then I'll call. Otherwise, I might wait it out. I know you recently went through something very similar. It just sucks. I feel guilty for wanting it to end because this is our baby we're talking about, but I just know that it's inevitable. And I hate not knowing when and how this is all going to end.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - I tend to lean toward wanting more information, so I would ask for more blood work. Worst case scenario is that no new info is revealed. I hope that you are doing ok.

RT - I am sorry about your chemical pregnancy. As sad as it is that this one did not work out, it is a good sign that you were able to get pregnant so quickly after your procedure. I hope this next cycle proves to be the one for you.

SB - Hope your lining check is great this weekend. I totally understand about staying away. Sometimes the only way to deal with this is to just set it aside for a while and go about your regular life. I know you said you are not feeling hopeful, but I want you to know that I am feeling VERY hopeful for you! All of us here are!

LC - Hope you are doing ok. Thinking of you.

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AFM, my cold went away, temp returned to normal, felt great on Sunday. Starting Monday, temp again and sinus issues. I had sinus surgery 1.5 years ago, which caused a big TTC delay (long recovery period with steroid meds), and I don't think things will ever be quite right. I don't mean to complain, but it is just odd to keep getting sick like this.

And then, I had some extremely slight spotting last night. I have never had this before, even when I had a m/c. It was very alarming. I cried and assumed the worst. It was bright red, but slight. I have not had any more, and the RE reassured me that it is common. I guess I feel better today.

Oh, and I scheduled my u/s for 6 weeks 1 day. RE says he should be able to see heartbeat by 6 wks 0 days. Seems early, no? It's scheduled for next Friday. And, he said they do 5 week u/s to rule out ectopic pregnancies, which seems unusual to me, but I guess every practice is different. I am skipping the 5 week one as I have had enough u/s to last me a lifetime!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, everything I've read says that spotting is pretty common with IVF. Surprisingly, I haven't had any of it this time around except for the spotting before my BFP, which must have been implantation, but I did have spotting with Ev a couple times in the first few weeks, and all was fine. But I know it's unsettling. My clinic also does an ultrasound early on 5w6d, and I think it is just to make sure that things are on track and in the right spot, but I agree that in your case, it's probably best to just wait until you should be able to see the heartbeat. Hang in there!

I actually did call the clinic a bit ago to see if I could come in tomorrow or Friday rather than waiting until next week. I haven't heard back, but based on the way they usually react, I know I'll get some resistance to doing this differently from the usual protocol. I'm sad and feeling a bit down, but doing okay, thanks for asking. I hate that I'm back to square one wondering if I'll ever have another baby and having to decide how much more treatment I'm willing to have if our frozen blasts don't bring us a baby.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Okay, me again, the thread hog I spoke with the nurse, and they basically said, it's fine if you want to come in tomorrow for bloodwork and an ultrasound if it will make me feel better, but they said that I would probably have to wait another two weeks for the next one because they don't want to be doing an ultrasound every week. It's annoying to me that they think the issue that I just need more reassurance. If things were going fine, I'd be more than happy to wait another couple weeks for an ultrasound, but this is not a pregnancy that is progressing normally, and I wish they would just acknowledge that. DH doesn't really think we need to go in tomorrow, and now I'm starting to question it, because unless the baby's heart has stopped beating, I'm probably still going to be in limbo. Ugh, this is so hard, and there really is no good solution.

 

[JGator]

MP, I think that would tick me off that you would have to wait 2 weeks to go in again. Isn't your money good there? Are they so busy that they can't do an ultrasound and bloodwork? If you want to go, you should be able to. That would make me so mad.

LV, glad your cold went away. Sorry about the spotting - I hope that it's gone for good. So, next Friday for the ultrasound? Good luck. Keep us posted.

 

[monkeyprincess]

JGator, the reason she gave me was that they don't want to do more ultrasounds than necessary because there is a risk of causing spotting by doing a transvaginal ultrasound too many times, and they generally do not want to do more than a few in the first trimester so as not to disturb the pregnancy unnecessarily. I think she said something like unless there was a good reason to do it again next week, they would want me to wait another two weeks. I'm thinking my hcg is going to look even worse than it did last week, and it's possible the ultrasound will give them more information that things aren't progressing normally. My main gripe is that I just want them to be realistic with me and acknowledge that this probably isn't a viable pregnancy based on the low hcg.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - Are you able to sit down and speak with the RE at these appointments? Do you think you have sufficiently conveyed your concerns to them? And, they have responded appropriately? It sounds like you feel like they are not being completely upfront with you. I wonder if a conversation (in addition to the testing) might be even more helpful for you. I have had my share of frustrations with RE's and their staff, so I totally get that frustrating aspect of all of this.

ETA: What if you just have the blood work done? Yesterday, you mentioned that you think the HPT got lighter? If they are concerned about what the level comes back at, then do an u/s now?

JGator - Yes, NEXT Friday.

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, yup, you hit the nail on the head. I guess I just want them to say that I'm not crazy and yes my HCG is much lower than is necessary for a viable pregnancy. I chatted for a few minutes with the RE last week. She knows my concern, but last week, she just said that so far the baby was meetings its milestones and HCG does not follow a particular logorithm. The sonographer was more realistic and honest about the low HCG numbers and said low HCG is indicative of genetic problems. I will hopefully get a chance to talk to the RE tomorrow after the ultrasound. Like DH said to me earlier, nothing anybody says is going to change the situation. What I really want is resolution, and in my case, that will unfortunately be a miscarriage. I just don't want to be pregnant anymore with a non-viable pregnancy.

ETA - I asked about just doing bloodwork, but she said that won't give them enough information and they would need to do an ultrasound in conjunction with the bloodwork. I get that.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

MP-I am so sorry that you are going through this! If it were me and money/insurance were not issues, I would get the blood work done now and then depending on the results determine if I wanted to get another ultrasound.

 

[JGator]

MP, sorry it has been so long since I had K that I forgot that they do them transvaginally this early. Hmm.. I don't know. I think I agree with Bella, I would do it this week and then re-assess based on the results. I think your intiution has to count for something.

LV, yay - 1 week from Friday. I may be testing around then (or earlier) for this cycle - I'm 6 DPO now according to FF.

 

[lizzyann]

MP, i think in your shoes, I would opt for the bloodwork and see if that gives any additional clues about what is going on. if the bloodwork comes back indicative of a healthy pregnancy then wait it out for the u/s. If it comes back as still slightly atypical then I think I would want the u/s sooner rather than later so you can get some closure either way. Good luck lady, still hoping for the best.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Well, I didn't want to be right, but unfortunately I was. Baby didn't have a heartbeat today. I was still kind of a mess even fully expecting that news, so I have no idea how I would have handled it if I thought everything was going well. I'm waiting for a call from the RE to hear what my estrogen and HCG levels are. She said if they are dropping, I have a choice whether to wait it out or do a D&C. If they are going up (which I really don't think they are), she recommends a D&C. It's possible I'd be able to have a D&C as soon as tomorrow or else early next week. I'm leaning toward doing that the D&C to take away the uncertainty of not knowing when the bleeding would start because she assured me the risks of a D&C are very minimal. Is that what you guys would do? Anyway, thanks for all the support.

 

[JGator]

MP, I am so sorry for your loss. I know you were expecting the worst, but it still has to be a blow/shock. I personally would go with the D&C which is what I did a day after we saw no HB with my first pregnancy at 10 weeks. AF resumed about 32 days later, and I was able to get pregnant with K on my 3rd cycle after that. She was born just over a year after the D&C. I really wish I could give you a hug. This is just not fair.

 

[Puppmom]

MP, I've been silently following and thinking of you. I'm sorry you're going through this. When I had my miscarriage, I opted for the D&C. I had a long wait to confirm I miscarried too and additional uncertainty was too much for me. I recovered physically pretty much immediately. And my cycle returned within a month.

 

[lizzyann]

sorry to hear your news MP. I think I would opt for the D&C because then it will be over and done with instead of waiting for the bleeding to begin which was always a very emotionally draining thing for me to go thru when I dealt with multiple miscarriages. sorry for your loss...

 

[amc80]

Sorry MP.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thanks, JGator, puppmom, lizzyann and AMC. I appreciate it. My HCG did go up a bit to 11,000 something, so I decided to schedule a D&C for tomorrow. Praying it goes smoothly with no complications, and I can start moving forward again. It's not the way I hoped all of this would turn out, but I'm relieved to not be in limbo anymore. My RE did the ultrasound, and I think she legitimately expected everything to be okay. She said that the HCG really didn't worry her, and I think she thought I was just being overly anxious. But when she couldn't find a heartbeat, she said, "Sometimes, mothers just know."

 

[Loves Vintage]

I'm really sorry, MP. I think you made the right decision, and I am sure everything will be ok. Take good care of yourself.

 

[JGator]

MP, there really is something to be said for a mother's intuition. I am so sorry again for your loss. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. For me, it was easy physically, and I was completely asleep during the procedure. I took the rest of the day to sleep and was back to normal activities the next day. Emotionally, it's another story. Hugs to you my friend.

 

[random_thought]

MP I am so so sorry for your loss. I kept hoping we would be surprised Big hugs to you at this difficult time

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thanks LV. I'm still so very happy for you, and it gives me hope I still might have success in the future. I hope the next week flies by for you and you get good news next Friday!

Random, thanks. I'm still so sorry for your loss as well. Hopefully we will both have better luck next cycle.

JGator, glad to hear you recovered quickly. I just hope I can hold it together emotionally tomorrow as well. I really don't even want to go back to the REs office tomorrow, but I guess I have to have a pre-op exam, even though they did an ultrasound today. Hoping you get good news next week as well. It would be awesome to get pregnant on your own, but if not, you at least have plans in place.

LC, did you have your blood test yet? My RE told me that they typically see HCG go down by half every few days, and then slows down in the end, so hopefully yours is on its way down.

SB, sending you good thoughts over the next few days and next week.

 

[Laila619]

Aww, MP, I'm so sorry. It's hard enough to go through infertility, but to have a loss of a much-wanted baby hurts beyond belief. I was so hoping you were wrong. I am proud of you for being your own advocate and for insisting on getting seen sooner.

 

[Tourmaline]

I'm so sorry to hear it, MP. I was hoping you were wrong, and I am sad and impressed that you were right. Hugs.

RT, so sorry for you, too. Hugs.

I am about to get AF in the next few days and I don't really know how many months we've been trying now, but I think it's something like 6 or 7. I know that a bunch of you are dealing with medical help to TTC, and I wonder if I would be welcome here in this thread, because we're doing it all on our own, and we do have children. I certainly wouldn't want to hurt anyone with my presence in this thread.

 

[JGator]

MP, I will be thinking of you and praying that you get through tomorrow with emotional strength.

Tourmaline, welcome. Many of us have children already and either had help or not conceiving previously and now. You are very welcome to post here. I hope AF does not show for you though.

 

[choro72]

mp, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's utterly devastating no matter how prepared you are. I agree with the D&C, since your beta was rising. I was scared too, and I'm against anything that's uselessly invasive. But they can do it with almost no damage, and the sooner the better. Just make sure that they check their work with an ultrasound, to make sure everything is gone. I hope your RE is more sympathetic now.

Tourmaline, I'm here with no medical intervention as well, and also blessed with a son. You're okay here.