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Very sick kitty.

Gypsy

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Thank you Monnie.
 

Phoenix

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I'm very very sorry for your and your husband's loss, Gypsy. {{{HUGS}}
 

Andelain

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Gypsy|1410068602|3746307 said:
But Hally. She was all personality. It just shone from her. She was like the sun. Those pet shaming pictures with the signs. There was a collage of like 30 of them. And as we were going through them a few months ago we were laughing because Hally earned like five of them all by herself. From "I lick the butter," to "I knock things off shelves just to watch them fall." She couldn't be in a room and be unnoticed. And she loved people. If any one has ever watched the movie Bolt: Mittens is very much a soul sister to my Hally. Just as sassy and fearless and smart. With a heart just as big. .

It's these kind of memories that make loving them so worth the pain of losing them. Although it doesn't feel that way right now, that I understand. Hugs to you and Hohn.
 

pinkjewel

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I'm so sorry for your loss- she sounded wonderful and very special. It's never easy to lose a beloved pet- sending hugs to you.
 

dk168

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Some dust on its way across the pond, good luck!

DK :(
 

Calliecake

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Hi Gypsy, I hope your hanging in as best you can under the circumstances. I'm so glad you have lots of great photos of Hally and that you shared a few here. My husband also laughed out load when he saw the picture of Hally in bed with John. Our dog acts a lot like a cat sometimes. He said that picture reminds him of our dog. All he has to do is say out loud that he's going to kiss mommy. My dog will come running, jump on my lap and look at my husband like "Don't you even think about it. She's mine". She loves my husband too but for some reason she thinks she owns me.... Ok, she actually does. I'm sure John can relate. Hally is still bringing people joy thru her pictures.
She will always be with you Gypsy. Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you Sweetie.
 

dk168

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dk168|1410092884|3746384 said:
Some dust on its way across the pond, good luck!

DK :(

Trust me to post in haste, DOH!

Sorry to hear about your loss, Gypsy. :(

DK :(
 

Gypsy

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Thanks so much everyone. I'm happy her pics are bringing a bit of her to your lives and making you smile.

I wish I could say today is better. But not so much. I think it's going to take a long time. I am very lucky to have you all helping me through this.
 

CJ2008

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Gypsy, I can't tell you how much I've just stared at her pictures...

You're right that you can totally see her personality coming through.

My favorite is the one where she's on the rug...that face. OMG.

And of course, the one where your DH is just staring at her is just so adorable...

I really, really wish I knew her.

And your love for her is just pouring in every word and it makes my heart ache. How lucky she was to be loved so much.
 

MMtwo

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So sorry Gypsy.
 

caf

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Gypsy = so sorry. What a sweetie! She certainly was loved.

Cindy
 

decodelighted

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Late but I just read this now ... very sorry for your loss, Gypsy. Its so so so so hard and totally sucks. What got me through our most recent pet loss was just repeating to myself that she wasn't suffering anymore. When I'd wake up and not remember for a minute and then realize ... I'd just repeated it and repeat it. She's not suffering. She's not suffering. We might be suffering but we'll be okay. And that my tears & sobs & sadness were just love. Love manifested. Eventually that love becomes transformed into happy memories and warm feelings when you think of her. **HUG**
 

Candygrl

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She was soooo pretty Gypsy. I had a black and white kitty named Scampers AKA Fat Mammers. She was the kitten of my mom's cat Snooper. I watched her birth and I picked her out the minute she was born. She was my beloved friend for 17 1/2 years. I grew up with her. Her death hit me soooooo very hard :( She's been gone almost 10 years and I still miss her dearly, but I can tell you that "my" pain has gotten better over time. Now I think of her and smile, and I remember how much joy she brought to my life. I hope that with time it gets easier for you too <3 <3
 

Gypsy

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CJ, thank you for you post. I wish you'd known her too. The rug pic is a favorite of mine too. She's just so... royal in it. The mess of papers behind her is her mess, FYI. We were unpacking and her favorite way to help was to rip the packing paper to shreds. We called it her artwork, "a study in confetti."


Thank you moneymeister and caf.

Deco, you are right. It does help to say that. Cats are very good at hiding pain and with cancer eating out her insides and two surgeries in the last 21 months we've know she's been in pain. And you are right, she isn't hurting anymore. And that is of primary importance. I think what's the hardest is the amount of pain she was in at the end. So much pain. And... it is over and wherever she is... she's free of it. And that comforting. So thank you for helping me get a little perspective. And I'm so very very sorry for your loss as well.

Hi Candy, do you have a picture of Scampers? And thank you for your kind words.
 

LLJsmom

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Gypsy, how do you deal with it? My cat is very sick too, and we may be taking him to the vet for THE VISIT any day now. I hate even thinking about it or talking about it b/c it makes it too real. But you had the courage to discuss it, so maybe it helps. I don't know. He's 18, and so brave and quiet and suffering silently. I don't want to thread jack. Just wondering. I hope it gets better for you. My kids are going to be so sad.
 

Gypsy

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LJ. I don't really know how to deal with it. When it was happening this was this vicious hope we were clinging to. We took her to one vet. Then another. We stayed there until they told us to go home. We went home. They called and said she was vomiting blood. So we went back. She was so weak she couldn't even meow fully. Just squeak, happy to see us. It was... like someone put their hands around my heart and made a first. So we authorized a transfusion and meds to raise her blood pressure. And we stayed. Then they told us to go home. So we did. Then we got the call that she'd stopped breathing and was on a ventilator that was breathing for her. And my husband burst into tears and said "My baby girl is dying." And it was like someone stabbed me. And then when we went there to see her. I just lost it. Huge gulping sobs, I could barely talk. We couldn't hold her once throughout this. Just pet her and rub our faces on her and kiss her. And they said that her heart was still beating and it would be kinder to give her the injection. So we nodded all the while stroking her and telling her just how much we loved her. Then. She was gone. They wanted to know if I wanted to hold her. But... what was the point of holding the shell, when it was the soul inside it I loved and that was no longer there. And still I was sobbing. I don't even remember the drive home. I just remember walking in and... no Hally. I went to sleep. No Hally. I woke up. No Hally. And each time I blink I see her. I try SO HARD to see her when she was healthy and pain free. But for the first two days all I heard was that squeak and all I saw was her with the tube in her mouth. So I stare at her pictures, taken in happier times to remind me of how alive she was, how happy she was, how we spoiled her as much as we could, and how she knew it. She never doubted our love. I know that. And that's a comfort. And now, taking Deco's advice, I keep telling myself that she isn't in pain anymore. And when I hear a creek or something gets knocked over, unexpectedly... that vicious hope comes back, that maybe she's not lost, just waiting and watching.

There's no 'deal with it' yet. There's just... this is reality now and there's nothing I can do to alter that. Right now it's just surviving it. That tightness in my chest. That hallow feeling where parts of my heart used to be. And there's my husbands hand, holding mine when it gets too bad for me. And mine holding his when it gets too bad for him.

I don't have a better answer than that. It just is. I'm sorry you are staring down that path too. And I wish I could give you an answer to make it all seem bearable. It's not. Not really. I am still in a fog. Every time I try to drive the car I almost crash, or I end up lost... in a neighborhood I grew up in, learned how to drive in and know like the back of my hand. Half the time I'm just... spacing out. If I'm lucky its good spacing, filled with memories that are happy. But sometimes I'm not lucky, and the memories aren't kind and I feel lightheaded and I realize I've stopped breathing, and I have to remember how.

It just is.
 

Dandi

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Oh Gypsy. My heart is breaking into a million pieces reading your last post. I held it together until I got to the end, and now the tears are flowing, I just can't help it, my heart aches for you. The emptiness and pain after losing a beloved pet just feels too much to bear at times. I am so heartbroken for you, and your hubby. What a lucky girl Hally was to have been so loved, and to have had the wonderful life you gave her. The way you describe her and the time you had together just radiates love, which is so wonderful. I love the photos, she looked like a total card. I'd love to hear more about her if and when you feel you can, that little face looks like it would have given you a huge amount of mischief and affection. Biggest hugs.
 

NOYFB

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You've been in my thoughts all weekend, Gypsy. Your last post had me in tears. I remember all too well the heartbreak that you are describing, when we lost EQ. It's so raw and unlike any other pain. It will get easier, I promise. It just takes time. It's been 21 months since we said goodbye to EQ and I still think about her every day and see her everywhere. The pain is still there, but I don't break into tears any more like I used to. You will get through this. And we will be here to listen and comfort you as you do. {{HUGS}}

We'd love to see some more pictures of Hally if you care to share them. :love:
 

Andelain

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Gypsy|1410154151|3746828 said:
CJ, thank you for you post. I wish you'd known her too. The rug pic is a favorite of mine too. She's just so... royal in it. The mess of papers behind her is her mess, FYI. We were unpacking and her favorite way to help was to rip the packing paper to shreds. We called it her artwork, "a study in confetti."


Thank you moneymeister and caf.

Deco, you are right. It does help to say that. Cats are very good at hiding pain and with cancer eating out her insides and two surgeries in the last 21 months we've know she's been in pain. And you are right, she isn't hurting anymore. And that is of primary importance. I think what's the hardest is the amount of pain she was in at the end. So much pain. And... it is over and wherever she is... she's free of it. And that comforting. So thank you for helping me get a little perspective. And I'm so very very sorry for your loss as well.

Hi Candy, do you have a picture of Scampers? And thank you for your kind words.

This is exactly what I have to keep reminding myself when I think of my Blackfoot. I took the pain on myself so she would be spared. The vet said she wasn't hurting now, but her end would be bad for her. So she crawled up on my shoulder one last time, and the deed was done there. I still cry thinking about it, and I'm bawling now. Like you, I love all my kitties past and present, but some are just special. My Blackfoot, your Hally. Waiting for us at the bridge...

herhighness.jpg

lap_kitty.jpg

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TC1987

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Gypsy: Cats live in the moment. Try to think like a cat. You were traumatized by seeing her like that. But that was one moment, and ti's over. Hally holds nothing against you. Her body was simply worn out, and she needed to move on. You are still dealing with the trauma of that mental image. But you don't need to. Let it go. Stop replaying that. You will miss her, for sure, especially if none of the other cats have as much personality.

http://www.holisticanimalconsultingcenter.com/remembrance.cfm#smith excerpt:
... I ask my friend to remember me always but not to grieve for me longer than she really must. In my life I have given her comfort in time of sorrow and a reason for added joy in her life. Not even in death would I want to cause her pain though I know it will come to her. It's O.K. Let her also remember that no cat was ever happier but I have grown ill and pained and it's time to say “Good-bye.” It will be a great sadness to leave her but not a sorrow to die. I accept this part of the journey as a natural part of life…not something alien and terrible which destroys life.

What will come to me after death ? Who knows ? …I would like to think that I will be joined by companions I’ve known in life who have gone before me. I will romp about in butterfly filled fields. Every hour will be mealtime and there is always a little brook with fresh running water. I will spend long evenings in front of fireplaces with logs forever burning and curl up with memories of her touch and the old days.

This is much to expect but peace is certain…and a long rest for these weakened limbs will be welcome. ...


To everyone else who is facing the difficult decision of euthanizing a pet: You can only do so much. And as human beings trying to make decisions regarding another species, sometimes we don't manage to do things exactly right. But what is important to try to do, is step back, analyze the situation, and try to make the best choice as to timing and course of action. And if it turns out, in hindsight, that you should have done something differently, don't beat yourself up over it. You can only do what looks like the best action based upon the information that you have at the moment, and there are any number of reasons why, in hindsight, you see something that could have been done better. I have been there and done that, and I didn't do it exactly right. When I had my old 16-year-old guy at home, doing a steep decline after a stroke, in hindsight, I think perhaps I even waited a little too long to have him euthanized. But I tell you, that cat, with all of his body systems failing and unable to walk or stand or control his bladder, still did not want to leave me. I know that. And so I catered to him another day or so, giving him lots of affection and all of his favorite foods. And then, I actually missed the actual moment that he passed away, because I didn't realize that it would happen that quickly after the injection. I felt like a total failure. I beat myself up over that for a while, but then I finally let it go because a) I did the best I could in my grief-stricken state, with the knowledge that I had at the time, and b) I finally came to the realization that I was just making myself suffer for no reason, because my cat would have forgiven me for that mistake just the same as he'd forgiven me for stepping on his feet 20 times.

The day after I lost my cat, I adopted two 13-week-old cats from the local animal shelter. I really didn't see a reason why I should not. The shelter was full of cats needing homes, and I needed a cat (or 2 or 3) in my home. So, 12 years later, I am convinced that was absolutely the right decision. Live in the moment, the way cats do. I feel sure that my Spanky sent me the message "Hey, get over it!" He was a heller. All of my cats are strong personalities. And I like it that way. :)
 

Gypsy

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I'm sorry to have made you cry Dandi and Lil. That wasn't my intention.

Dandi, she was full of mischief. She was six months old when we got her. We had her in the office the first few weeks to slowly integrate her. A computer was in there, with an old CRT monitor (not flat screen) and the keyboard was sitting on top of it. I come into the room and see that she's unbalanced the keyboard and is holding onto it with both her TINY little paws. My husband goes to help her. And I stop him and say... it will make a loud crash which will scare her and show her not to do it again. So we wait, and her grip on the thing slips. It falls. Instead of running and hiding she watches it fall, and is fascinated as it crashes and makes a boom. Doesn't run for cover like a 'normal' cat. Nope. Enjoys it. And so begins her career of dropping or pushing things just to watch them fall.

Another time a bat came down the chimney. We were all freaking out. She was chasing the thing, preventing it from landing and eagerly anticipating jumping on it when it tired.

Thank you for your lovely post and the hugs.

Lil, I'm so sorry about your loss of EQ. I'd love it if you shared pictures and stories about her here. I have attached a few extra photos of Hally as requested as well. Thank you for that. Looking at them makes me smile. Thank goodness my husband is picture happy.

img_20131102_153638_772.jpg

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img00306-20100530-2116__265_.jpg

img00331-20100613-0050.jpg
 

missy

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Oh what a sweet baby. So beautiful. Thank you for these extra pics of Hally. Gypsy I just want you to know you have been in my thoughts and I hope knowing how much everyone cares for you eases the pain just a little. She was a lucky kitty to have such warm and loving parents and know that you gave her the best possible life. (((Hugs))).
 

dk168

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We are kinder to our pets than we are to people in many respects.

One day, I shall have to make such difficult decisions with regard to my cat and dog. I try not to think about it, as it made me cried when I did in the past.

One thing for certain - I shall be there for them when the time comes, to say my last goodbyes, to tell them how much they mean to me, how they have enriched my life for choosing me to be their human, etc. etc...

R.I.P. Hally, a much loved kitty.

DK ;(
 

Gypsy

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Hi Andelain, What a beautiful lady Blackfoot was. I love that pic with her on the mouse. It's like she's saying... I caught the mouse and now I can nap. I'm sorry for you loss and I am happy she's no longer in pain.
 

Gypsy

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Thank you very much Missy for your kind words. You are in my thoughts as well, as I know this is a very difficult time for you as well, and I appreciate your generosity in such a hard time.
 

Calliecake

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Gypsy, The pictures of Hally are so precious. She was so lucky to be loved by you and John. I loved the story about her love of watching things crash and fall. Her personality shines through in all John's pictures. Thank you for sharing her with all of us.
 

swingirl

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Beautiful photos of your precious Hally. Such personality. It's so hard to lose a member of your family. I hope it gets better for you.
 

Gypsy

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Thank you Callie.

Thank you too Swingirl.
 

CJ2008

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OMG that first picture...those ears...she looks like a little mouse. So cute.
 

Gypsy

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CJ2008|1410231800|3747493 said:
OMG that first picture...those ears...she looks like a little mouse. So cute.

It's one of my favorites too. She was in the cabinet apparently. I opened it to grab a bowl and there she was like, "HI MOM." I was grumbling about having to re-wash all the dishes, but it was so cute I honestly didn't care. And I had my phone so I just snapped the picture.

She loved posing for pictures. When I was taking pics of my Persian Rug because I wanted to list if for sale she decided it was time for a photo shoot. I posted the pics here: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/cat-are-contrary-creatures.176535/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/cat-are-contrary-creatures.176535/[/URL]

8)
 
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