Gypsy
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2005
- Messages
- 40,225
Matata, HIYA, thanks so much for you post! I don't know. I think there are people like that everywhere. You certainly can find that crowd in Nor Cal. And So Cal. And in NY metro and in DC. All places I've lived. And certainly in law school there is that mentality. But you can opt out too. I don't have outside client face to face meetings often and I have a nice expensive suit and conservative shoes for when I do. As for my car...complete irrelevant. I'm not a people pleaser. I'm more of a "This is me, accept me or not... don't care either way." And I don't need or WANT a huge circle of people around me. I like having a small number of close genuine people around me. I think that if you allow that mindset of 'keeping up with the joneses' in, yes it can all become about money. And it doesn't matter where you live. Because it's not about WHERE you live. It's about what is in your head. Honestly, I'm REALLY GOOD about opting out of that mindset, and have always been. So is my DH.
I buy nice things because I LIKE those nice things. I also buy 'budget friendly things' because I like them. And I try very hard never to buy ANYTHING to impress anyone. If someone asks me what my favorite stores are... I'm ALWAYS going to say: Target, Costco and Nordstroms. I won't try to impress them. My answer won't vary if the person is a millionaire or a hobo. I'm me. No matter who I am with. Sure I'll trade in my jeans for a pair of slacks for a different job, if needed. Because for me, dress code is a job requirement. I get paid to work at a certain place... and part of that salary is to make sure I conform with the professional standards of the place. At my current job professional standards means anything goes. Seriously. You should see some of the stuff folks wear to work. But this is the ONLY job I've ever worked where I've gotten to do this. So reverting back to slacks and cardigans as the dress code is not at all an issue. But I won't do more than that. And my cardigans still might be from Target, if one caught my eye there.
And I find that people either A) don't get me. Which is fine, cause if they don't get me... that's their prerogative and they aren't someone I need to waste a lot of time on. I am cordial and polite but that's it. Or the B) find me refreshing. These people are usually acquaintances that I am friendly with. Or C) Are like me too. In which case I usually form close friendships with them. And there are people like that everywhere too.
I won't buy a certain car to impress. Last time I went car shopping I was test driving Lexus. And I bought a Mazda, because I genuinely liked it better, and it suited my needs for gas mileage and so forth better. I buy nice handbags because I enjoy the quality, but I buy them second hand, several years out of "date" and never with logos or tags that are too noticeable. Or I buy them new, if I want to splurge, but my taste is very consistent and despite the fact that my close friends LOVE certain brands... I never feel the need to buy the same brand, or a 'better one'. I just buy whatever I like. I have grandma taste in handbags. And I know it an own it. I don't keep up with joneses. And I don't even know who they are. And even if I DID know who they are... I probably wouldn't click with them. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Cause I like me. So if someone else doesn't... I don't really mind. People vary.
I did see a couple people wearing jeans. And when I remarked on that to one woman who was wearing them she said, "Comfort first for me." And I was like... cool! That's definitely someone to get to know. But she wasn't in the group I would be working in. And that's fine. I'll conform to the code of the group I am in. But... I'm still going to find the jean wearing lady and ask her to lunch!
I buy nice things because I LIKE those nice things. I also buy 'budget friendly things' because I like them. And I try very hard never to buy ANYTHING to impress anyone. If someone asks me what my favorite stores are... I'm ALWAYS going to say: Target, Costco and Nordstroms. I won't try to impress them. My answer won't vary if the person is a millionaire or a hobo. I'm me. No matter who I am with. Sure I'll trade in my jeans for a pair of slacks for a different job, if needed. Because for me, dress code is a job requirement. I get paid to work at a certain place... and part of that salary is to make sure I conform with the professional standards of the place. At my current job professional standards means anything goes. Seriously. You should see some of the stuff folks wear to work. But this is the ONLY job I've ever worked where I've gotten to do this. So reverting back to slacks and cardigans as the dress code is not at all an issue. But I won't do more than that. And my cardigans still might be from Target, if one caught my eye there.
And I find that people either A) don't get me. Which is fine, cause if they don't get me... that's their prerogative and they aren't someone I need to waste a lot of time on. I am cordial and polite but that's it. Or the B) find me refreshing. These people are usually acquaintances that I am friendly with. Or C) Are like me too. In which case I usually form close friendships with them. And there are people like that everywhere too.
I won't buy a certain car to impress. Last time I went car shopping I was test driving Lexus. And I bought a Mazda, because I genuinely liked it better, and it suited my needs for gas mileage and so forth better. I buy nice handbags because I enjoy the quality, but I buy them second hand, several years out of "date" and never with logos or tags that are too noticeable. Or I buy them new, if I want to splurge, but my taste is very consistent and despite the fact that my close friends LOVE certain brands... I never feel the need to buy the same brand, or a 'better one'. I just buy whatever I like. I have grandma taste in handbags. And I know it an own it. I don't keep up with joneses. And I don't even know who they are. And even if I DID know who they are... I probably wouldn't click with them. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Cause I like me. So if someone else doesn't... I don't really mind. People vary.
I did see a couple people wearing jeans. And when I remarked on that to one woman who was wearing them she said, "Comfort first for me." And I was like... cool! That's definitely someone to get to know. But she wasn't in the group I would be working in. And that's fine. I'll conform to the code of the group I am in. But... I'm still going to find the jean wearing lady and ask her to lunch!
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