The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[monkeyprincess]

LC, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I wish I could think of something helpful to say, but I really can't think of anything other then it just really sucks. Seemingly innocent questions or comments can hurt so much sometimes. Hugs, I suppose the only thing that will help is time and hopefully having a healthy pregnancy and baby soon.

Yes, it certainly has helped traveling and having my son to keep me entertained. Having some downtime now after the baptism and feeling a little sad. I read a study on low betas even in the presence of a heartbeat, and it was not positive. I am just really hoping I'll get clarity next week. I'm so tired of being in limbo.

LV, fingers tightly crossed. Hope you're enjoying your vacation!

Thinking of everyone!

 

[Loves Vintage]

LC - I am sorry that you are going through this. Time heals, but unfortunately we have to let time pass, and it doesn't pass any more quickly through the tough times. I hope you are able to take some time for yourself. Maybe talking to someone would help? Some time alone to treat yourself, like a facial or massage. Sometimes just the quiet time alone can be therapeutic. I hope that you feel better with each passing day.

MP - When is your next scan? I really really really hope all is well and you can put all of this uncertainty behind you.

BS - Hi there! Thanks for checking in with us!

***************
So, I was going to wait 'til Monday, but I started feeling like I had to test on the drive home today. The wonder that is Amazon.com delivered some FRERs to my doorstep over the weekend. And . . .

 

[Tourmaline]

Yay!!! Congratulations!

 

[BrightSpot]

LV, squee!!! So excited for you!!!

 

[monkeyprincess]

My phone resolution must be bad because I can't see the test very well, but I assume there must be a line! Wonderful news, LV! This should be it for you!

 

[lliang_chi]

LV, OMG! 1) You sneaky little minx you! You were supposed to wait until after this weekend to test! But 2) HOORAY for the line!!!! Yay, yay ya!!!!!!!

MP, I'm glad you're having a good time wiht family and hte baptism. Hugs my friend. Stop researching and googling. I know it's impossible to do, but you really must try to get away from all this. I'm hoping the next week will bring you some clarity at the very least, but really really am hoping you'll see a heart beat.

Thanks everyone for the thoughts. There's not much to do these days but to just heal, but it still hurts. I hate to say it but I think I'm just emotionally scarred from ever being at ease during the first trimester anymore. After everything I've been through I can really ever say I'm "in the clear" until I get a freaking baby, not a little bean inside. REgardless of heartbesat or whatever. I hate TTC. Or more specifically TTC challenges.

 

[JGator]

LV, congrats on your BFP!! Woo hoo. Sending sticky, healthy dust your way. Enjoy your vacation.

MP, so sorry you are having a tough time. I wish you knew now what your outcome would be so you could relax - (I'm hoping everything turns out great next week).

LC, so sorry you are going through this twice. The universe sucks! I know what you mean about not being able to relax in the first trimester after a loss - I felt that way too. And, I had a hard time understanding how others could think/assume their pregnancies would make it full term in the JBP thread by making major purchases and big plans. I also remember someone I work with telling me she had a loss at 14 weeks so I had that in my head too. We had a CVS done at about 12 weeks so that did alleviate a lot of concerns for me since I knew K didn't have a trisomy at that point, but you likely will hold your breath at every ultrasound like I did. I hope you get another BFP quickly and the first trimester goes by quickly. Hugs to you.

AFM, CD 15 here - no sign of a positive OPK or temp drop. I guess the polyp removal did something to re-set my normal clock. I did have spotting a lot longer than usual with AF this cycle. We are back from vacay and survived the flight back with only a few minutes of ear pain related crying from K.

 

[choro72]

Oh LV, I'm so happy for you!!!!!! Congratulations!!!

mp, I really hope you can get some answer soon. I hate how time crawls now.

lc, I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I can't imagine going through what you did after so many weeks, after seeing heartbeat. And hugs hugs hugs after hearing your friend's innocent words. I get that question from my MIL all the time. We refuse to tell her anything because nothing good can come out of it.

AFM, I think I had AF two weeks ago. This is about two weeks after the blood bath. It's hard to tell because I had been bleeding constantly for a few months. But two weeks ago, the bleeding became heavier and last weekend it has stopped. I've been checking my temperature, because usually I ovulate a week after AF is gone. Temperature and OPK both tell me that I haven't ovulated.
Those of you who has BTDT, how long did you wait to contact your doctor? I'm thinking I'll call to make an appointment in two weeks, if it doesn't happen by then. AF should be due then anyway.

 

[random_thought]

Congrats LV!!

AFM- I will not get my hopes up. I will not get my hopes up. I will not get my hopes up.

 

[Laila619]

LV, congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lliang_chi]

Choro, I didn't contact my midwife until I would have been a week late if AF came like normal. I did not get an menses until I took prometrium, so I hope the fact that your lining shed by itself is a good sign. For me in the beginning of this year: I was pregnant, then had my D&C, had some spotting/bleeding related to the D&C, then nothing for 6 weeks. Then I took the prometrium and then I had a cycle. During the time between the D&C and the prometrium, I was temping and I did get a O shift but no period after it.

RT, best of luck for you guys this cycle. You had your surgery so I'm hoping this cleared the way for any potential eggs.

~LC

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I've posted twice and PS ate it, so hopefully third time is the charm!

LV-I am so excited for you!!!! Sending lots of love and prayers for a healthy, sticky bean!!!!

MP-I really hope that you get good news this week and that your little one is just having a dramatic start.

LC-TIme is the best healer, but losses are so painful and there is always a "scar"/memory that remains. I hope that you can take some time to do something special for yourself. You are an amazing lady! ((((((((((((((((huge hugs)))))))))))))))))

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I'm home and looked at it from a different, and that's a beautiful line. So excited for you! How are you doing? Are they having you do the whole beta thing? I really think this is going to be good.

Random, how many dpo are you?

JGator, hoping you get a positive opk soon. Did they say whether the procedure would affect your cycle? Glad you had a good time away.

Choro, I hope your cycle returns soon. Doesn't hurt to call to see what they say around tome af would be due.

LC, I can only imagine how stressful early pregnancy will be. I respect your desire for privacy, but did your doctor determine the cause of your losses? Perhaps you could see a specialist to determine if it was just bad luck or something more. It really sucks to know you have to go through all the anxiety again, but it will be worth when you finally get your take home baby. Thinking of you.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks, everyone!

Bella, Yay! Thank you for popping in!

Laila, Thank you!! How many weeks are you now???

Tourmaline, Thank you! Sending you good-luck in the TTC department too!

Brightspot, Thank you!! How many weeks are you now? Getting there soon, right?

RT, I hope this is it for you.

JGator, Any news on the OPK-front? Hope you had a relaxing vacation.

Choro, I hope you have some clarity soon. I would probably call the doctor now just to touch base and see if they have any advice to offer.

LC, Thank you, my dear. I do have a hard time with waiting, haha. I was thinking along the same lines as MP. Is there any testing (and treatment) that they can offer that might put your mind at ease for a future pregnancy?

MP, I'm glad you checked again. I tested again on Monday and it was slightly darker. I do not intend to take any more tests. I will go to my scheduled beta on Thursday. I am really hopeful, but still recognize this may not work out. That is one of the downsides of PGD-testing. Things can still not work out, but I am feeling really positive and like things will work out, which is not my nature! One of the upsides of PGD-testing is that I already know what I'm having, as-in girl or boy, or should I say boy or girl!! Haha, the fact that I know is reflective of my impatience!! I asked just before the transfer. I hope you have a busy work week so the time til your US passes quickly!!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, yeah, I got a new phone last week that is great in all other respects, but it doesn't like PS pictures apparently. I knew there would be a line though when you posted it and got a bunch of congratulations! You don't have any reason to stress. That's a nice line for that early and it's getting darker, and I fully expect all will go well, and even though PGD isn't perfect, it rules out a lot of potential issues. So glad you are avoiding the anxiety crap I'm going through. Try to keep it that way!

Ahh, I didn't know you knew what you were having already. That's so crazy! I found out last time during the NT scan that it was more than likely a boy. I vowed that I would at least wait until the anatomy scan for my next pregnancy to make it a little less anticlimatic, but like you, patience is certainly a virture I need to work on, so who knows. I'm really hoping one of my frozen blasts is going to be healthy and stick (if this one doesn't).

 

[Loves Vintage]

It is so crazy that we know already!

I am usually really anxious about everything, so I have no idea why I am not anxious about this. I wish you were less anxious, but I know there's nothing I can say to help you feel better. I really have a good feeling about your pregnancy and hope you get to see that heartbeat soon!

 

[JGator]

MP, the RE didn't say anything about the polyp removal affecting my cycle, but it clearly has. I'm on CD 17 - I said 15 yesterday thinking it was Sunday due to the holiday. I usually O around CD 14. I did get a faint line earlier today on the OPK though so maybe something is going to happen soon. When is your next appt? Still holding out hope for you, my dear.

LV, so excited and that's cool that you know the gender so early! I have always thought that either a boy and a girl or two girls would be perfect so since you already have a girl - either one should be fun! We did have a relaxing vacation in Maine. It's good to be home though.

RT, your chart looks great. Maybe I will O on CD 19 too since we both had polyp removals!

AFM, our nanny is in another country and was supposed to be back this week from her vacation, but she has food poisoning and is still there! Fortunately, my mom is visiting so she can help, but K is Miss Clingy and will not be left alone with Grandma. Day 1 of work with no nanny has not gone well. Good thing I work from home - but still I tend to be on the phone all day so it's not easy!

 

[Laila619]

LV, that is so cool that you know already what gender this little baby is! I am sure you would be thrilled with either sex, but still it's neat that you got to find out so soon. At least there is one bright side (if you could call it that) to infertility, right? When do you have your first ultrasound? I'm so so happy for you!!

I'm 31 weeks now and massively huge and uncomfortable, but I really can't complain because I went through a lot to get here, so I am just grateful for healthy babies, even though I know it will be chaos when they are here.

 

[random_thought]

Have I mentioned that I hate evap lines? Le sigh.


I peed on that bottom stick and then my piece of paper fell in the toilet with both before it could finish drying


So I got a frer and it was negative tonight after holding my pee for 4 hours

 

[JGator]

RT, how many DPO are you? Good luck. That is something that would happen to me on the stick falling in the toilet.

MP and LV, thinking of you both!

LC, how goes it? I'm wondering if you had any genetic testing done to see if the issue is a trisomy or something else.

Choro, I think you should contact your doctor now just because you have had such a crazy time with all the bleeding. I would not wait. After my MC, it took 32 days for AF to show up again.

AFM, CD 18. I think the 4 weeks of BCP prior to my polyp removal is the reason my O is being delayed. I did have a faint line this AM so I'm hoping it darkens up this afternoon.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Random, wishing you good luck. For what's it's worth both times I've been pregnant, I've been able to get a definite line on the FRER much earlier than the other tests. I've never used the answer brand you have in the pictures though.

JGator, sounds like you are hopefully gearing up to ovulate in the next few days. That's great news!

LV, hope things are going well. Excited for you! Question for you. Didn't your RE give you the option of PGD testing your frozen blasts from your prior IVF cycle? I know that in your case, they all stopped growing, but I'm just wondering how viable of an option that is. Now that I *think* I'm experiencing an abnormal pregnancy, I would really like to know whether any of my frozen blasts are normal, but at the same time, I don't want to put them in any unnecessary danger of damage.

SB, how are things going? Still thinking of you and hoping for good news this cycle!

AFM, I hadn't taken an HPT since last Thursday, so I used another FRER this morning. Although the line is still much darker than the control, it is completely unchanged from nearly a week ago. I was hoping the control line would be nearly gone or barely there like I have seen in others' pictures, but it was still about the same and definitely visible. I just have a feeling my HCG has stalled out. I know this sounds really wrong considering how badly I want this, but if my HCG is not going up like it should, I almost hope I don't see a heartbeat tomorrow. I just really want off this rollercoaster, and the idea of being in limbo and waiting for the other shoe to drop for another week or more makes me shudder.

ETA, my little guy has really gotten into babies recently. He kept wanting to hold his younger cousins (15 months and 2 months) this weekend. Yeah right! And he always wants to sing Rock-a-bye baby while he and I both hold one of his stuffed animals. It breaks my heart because I see how tender and sweet he could be with a baby.

 

[JGator]

MP, good news that you still have a line. I know what you mean about Ev and babies. K loves babies - it was one of her first words. She is completely fascinated by them, and she would make a great big sister. I'm sure you will get your dream little sister/brother for Ev. I think you can definitely still do PGS/PGD on Frozen Embies.

 

[Loves Vintage]

JGator - I didn't realize you worked from home. Good for you! Has it always been that way, or something you worked out along the way? I am the only person in my office who regularly works from home (2 days per week), and I do not want to give this up ever. I get so much more done at home because it is so quiet here! I hope those OPKs keep getting darker.

Laila - Wow to 31 weeks!! Good for you!! I assume u/s will be at 7 weeks if the betas turn out ok.

RT - I HATE evaps too!! How many DPO are you?

MP - Technically, it should be safe to thaw and test embryos (this assumes the lab is GOOD.) Unfortunately, in my case, the embryos were poorly graded (never disclosed to me by prior RE), and my new RE's office would not have recommended transferring them. My new RE sent all of the embryos that were either transferred from prior clinic or that were fresh but did not make it from day 5 to 6 for testing. I never posted all of my test results here, but I will say that of the 4 embryos that did not make it from day 5 to day 6, all 4 were abnormal. Of the three that were transferred from prior clinic, two were normal and one was not. I was really surprised by that, and still have a hard time understanding it. I can say that my current embryo was very high quality, was pgd tested, then frozen and continued to develop and come out of its shell on the morning of my transfer (which was early afternoon). I think lab quality has a lot to do with it. I think the lab at my prior clinic was not very good. The fact that your dr was hesitant to recommend pgd might reflect that the fact that they don't do a lot of pgd testing yet? If your RE didn't recommend it before, she might not now. I really really really hope you see that heartbeat this week! You sound so conflicted right now. I am sorry for that. That is really sweet about Ev. I am sure that he will have a sibling to look after! One day at a time. We will all get there.

**********
My worries have begun. I picked up a cold over the weekend. Felt pretty groggy yesterday after work, but did not think I had a temp. I woke up at two completely sweating, like after a fever breaks type sweating. I was really scared, figured I would mention it to my dr, took my temp in the morning, did not have one. Took my temp an hour or so later, and it's about 100.5 (darn unreliable forehead thermometers!) so I started to panic. Google confirmed my fears, so I emailed dr, and then called the nurse (impatience again!) Nurse says tylenol is ok. I took two tylenol. Dr then replies via email and says I can take Tylenol, but he would prefer just rest and fluids at this point and that it would be too early for any harm to the pregnancy from the fever. I am relived about that, but now feeling worried that I should not have taken the tylenol.

Meanwhile, work is out of control because I was on vacation last week. People are so pushy, it's unbelievable! I am finally learning to push back, but it is so stressful dealing with all of these demanding people.

 

[JGator]

LV, I started working from home about 4 years ago. I switched jobs from a client facing, travel job to an internal position where my clients do the job that I used to do. So, it was a good transition, and I got to work with a lot of the same people for a while, but my job has evolved into new areas now. Everyone who does my job and my team who report to me all work from home. So, we are all on the phone all the time. I really like it, and I'm thrilled to avoid the crazy commutes where I live. Once in a while, I get stuck in the insane traffic around here at rush hour and realize how lucky I am to work from home! Sorry to hear about your temperature. Take it easy and drink a lot of fluids to help. I'm sure your litle baby is doing fine in there though! I know what you mean about it being insane at work after being off last week, too! And, our nanny will not be back until Monday now!!! Let's hope K gets used to my mom!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, yes, I agree that since my clinic doesn't seem to do a lot of PGD, I probably just shouldn't mess with it at this point. I guess I'm just trying to protect myself from having to go through this kind of uncertainty again. And honestly, I have no idea if any of my remaining blasts are even good quality and have a shot. The nurse who told me my freeze count said that all she knew is that they made it to blast. I will certainly push for my information on them once I figure out the status of this pregnancy.

As for the Tylenol, I really wouldn't be too concerned. I know you want to do whatever is best for the pregnancy and baby, but think of all the things that people take and do that early on in pregnancy before they even know they are. I really think you don't have anything to worry about. Hope you feel better. I can sympathize because Ev came down with some sort of coughing virus over a week ago, passed it to DH, and then I came down with it over the weekend. I've been coughing like crazy at night, and since I can't really take anything I would normally take, I haven't been sleeping well, so I feel like I can't fight it off. Sorry work is busy for you. That's the sucky part about going on vacation - you pay for it when you get back. Hang in there.

 

[random_thought]

Thanks for thinking of me everyone. I'm sorry I haven't read through everything yet but I promise I will soon. We've been up in the mountains with my sister all Labor Day weekend and then we have friends in from out of town visiting this week as well.

Today is 9dpo. The reason I tested early was because of the spotting at 4dpo. Got the evap positive yesterday morning and thought maybe I MIGHT have ov-ed earlier than I thought. I'm thinking it was just ovulation bleeding though.

FWIW, here is my chart today.

 

[lliang_chi]

LV, MP & JGator, you guys were asking, and yes, the end of this pregnancy was the result of a trisomy. TBH, it doesn't feel better to have a reason. It sucks all around.

MP, hoping you stay busy at work this week. Still sending you dust and I know what you mean by just wanting off the rollercoaster (one outcome definitely better than the other). But yes, it's just exhausting not knowing. Aw, so sweet about Ev and little babies. It'd make my heart swell so much. Ethan's pretty indifferent about babies. He likes looking at them, but he's not exactly very nurturing or whatever. I guess too self absorbed (in the toddler sense) to notice babies

LV, Don't worry about the Tylenol. Right now you're so early on in your pregnancy, the little baby is sustaining itself. I wouldn't sweat it too much. FWIW, I had Hand Foot Mouth when I was pregnant last and my fever went up to 104F before I brought it down with acetaminophen, and my midwife wasn't worried at all.

JGator, I'm glad you had a great vacation. Wow, it's nice you have the flexibility to work from home, but I cannot IMAGINE trying to do that with a toddler running around! Kudos to you! Hoping you get a positive OPK soon

RT, patience! For me, testing early does nothing but make me more anxious, so I always wait until I'm late. Hoping that's the last of evap lines for you.

 

[JGator]

MP, good luck today. Thinking of you.

LC, sorry to hear about the trisomy. I guess you are right that it doesn't make it any easier. I try to stay upstairs during the workday to avoid the toddler running around. I visit K a few times during the day including lunch if I happen to get to eat while she's not having her nap. Sometimes I don't really see her at all during the day due to the timing of her nap and my calls.

RT, how is the chart looking?

AFM, still haven't gotten a super dark OPK but we'll see what happens today. The line was decent yesterday.

 

[monkeyprincess]

LC, I can understand why knowing the cause doesn't make you feel any better because all you want is a healthy pregnancy. I totally get that. I suppose the only good thing to know is that you are capable of carrying a baby, as long as the baby is healthy. Big hugs to you.

JGator, hoping you get a dark line soon on the opk.

Random, it's still early. Keeping my fingers crossed. Were you able to visit your mother yet?

I was going to wait to update because I haven't gotten the bloodwork back, but we did see a heartbeat. The sonographer was very blunt that although a heartbeat is a good sign, our hcg was not very encouraging last week. She said she would have liked to see it at 8 to 10K, otherwise you worry about chromosomal problems. I said I was frustrated to hear her say that because we asked last week and were told not to be concerned. Anyway, when we went out to talk to the doctor, my DH mentioned what she had said about last week's results, and she totally changed her tune. She said, no I meant that that is what it should be this week. DH and I just looked at each other because we both know exactly what she said. Anyway, the doctor was less pessimistic and said that the heartbeat was encouraging and we just have to see what the numbers are doing. She said it should be at least 6-10k. Given my hpt yesterday, I'm not hopeful they've gone up significantly. Also, I just looked at the picture she gave us, and it said the baby was measuring 6w0d. Um, I'm 6w6d. Ugh. The doctor said the measurements were within the the margin. Not really. I've seen so many stories like this where there is no heartbeat a few weeks later. I hate being such a Debbie Downer and I feel like I'm not doing my part to keep peoples' spirits up around here, but I just don't see a happy ending, and I'm so frustrated that we are in limbo once again. It sucks trying to hold on to hope but not let yourself get excited or attached.

 

[random_thought]

Hey ladies

MP- I'm so sorry to hear about your numbers but a beating heart is still a beating heart and today you are pregnant One day at a time!

I was able to visit my mother for a few days over labor day weekend and then we went up to the mountains for a night when we got back into town with my sister. It was hard to see her the way she is but she is making some improvements, she was able to tie her shoes while I was there!

Here's my chart right now, nothing too exciting yet lol