The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[random_thought]

So. We are having to spend our iui money. My mother's health has rapidly deteriorated and I need to be able to see her one last time. We are spending the money on airfare to get to my parents There was no question whether or not to do this.

 

[choro72]

mp, I'm so sorry you're feeling down. Hugs hugs hugs. I haven't lost hope for you just yet, but hugs.

lc, I'm so sorry and devastated for you. Of course you'll need time to yourself. My thoughts are with you.

 

[monkeyprincess]

OMG LC, I don't even have the words right now to express how deeply sorry I am to hear your news. I have tears welling up in my eyes even thinking about it. Just know you and your little family are in my prayers. I prayer the process will not be drawn out for you again, and certainly, take the time you need to grieve and decide your next step, but always feel free to come chat with us about how you're feeling. Our situations are all slightly different, but we all get the heartache of infertility and/or pregnancy loss, and it just helps to know you are not alone sometimes. Thoughts and prayers headed your way right now.

Random, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Prayers for her, you and your family as well. What a sad day around here

JGator, I'll be thinking of you on Thursday, and I hope everything goes smoothly.

And thank you all for always being such a good support to me through all of this. It's silly because I don't know any of you, but I honestly don't know how I'd be getting through all of this without this little support group we've formed. Here's to better days ahead!

 

[Loves Vintage]

LC - I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. I am feeling so sad for you. I will be thinking of you.

RT - I am very sorry to hear about your mom. My thoughts are with you and your family.

JGator - Good luck on Thursday. I didn't reply to your other question, but I am still on track for the end of the month FET.

Choro - I am glad to hear that you are doing better.

 

[BrightSpot]

LC, I'm so very sorry to hear your devastating news. I had 2 losses in a row back in 2012 (though much earlier than yours were) & it was such a dark time. My heart is aching for you. Big hugs to you & your family. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts & prayers.

RT, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Keeping her, you & your family in my thoughts & prayers. Such sad news.

choro, thanks for updating us. I'm so glad you're doing better.

JGator, I hope everything goes well on Thursday. Keep us posted.

MP, I'm so sorry about the spotting. Is it still happening? My first thought really was that it could be implantation related. It sounds like your progesterone levels are really strong. (And FWIW, I got my period on prometrium & crinone, but never PIO shots.)
But I totally understand your feeling down & wanting to move on with life outside of the TTC realm. Hugs. That is really great that you have 4 frozen blasts, though (but I'm hoping you don't need to use them for a while!)

huff, I'm sorry you're not tolerating the metformin well. When I started taking it, I started with 500mg once a day, then added another 500mg dose about a week later. I was also on the regular (not extended release) pills. I've found that eating anything too fatty in conjunction with the medication is a recipe for GI issues. Also, more than 1 drink is problematic. (Technically, you're not supposed to drink at all, but my doc said the occasional drink is ok.)

LV, hoping your bfp is coming very soon with your FET this month!

SB, hoping you have a successful FET very soon as well!

 

[Clairitek]

LC, you're in my thoughts. So sorry to hear your news.

RT- very very sorry to hear about your mother. Safe travels up north to visit her.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP, How are you doing today?

 

[monkeyprincess]

Still thinking of those of you who are hurting right now. Lots of thoughts and prayers.

Bright, thanks for checking in and for your good wishes. That's good to know about the PIO, although I kind of think that's the only thing that's keeping AF at bay at this point. Otherwise the floodgates probably would have opened by now. I'm a chronic spotter, so I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. Honestly, it seems to have lessened (or it ebbs and flows - ha, so many unintentional puns), and it really isn't spotting because nothing is getting on a liner or anything. I just noticed discoloration most of the time when I wipe (and I've really been digging for it too, which probably doesn't help). I just wish it hadn't happened, so I'd be able to tell if it was just a bad blastocyst. Now, I'm going to wonder if there is something wrong with my lining that wouldn't let the poor little ones implant or sustain themselves, you know? Oh, and I went back and realized I made a mistake with my progesterone level. On the day of transfer it was about 200 (not 2000 - that would be crazy), but 200 is still way high, you know?

LV, so sweet of you to check on me. I'm doing okay. Better than yesterday for sure, but I think it's because I've let a little bit of hope creep back in, which is what really just sucks about this process. Logically, I am nearly 100% certain it didn't work. My bloating went away, my boobs do not hurt one bit, I've got no cramps, and most importantly, I've had the off and on spotting for 4 days now. But there's still that little ray of hope that keeps me from breaking down, and I just know I'm going to be devastated when it's confirmed tomorrow. There's just no way around it, as much as I try to protect myself. I do think I'll take an HPT in the morning. I almost did today, but then just used the restroom before I could tempt myself.

DH and I had such a good talk last night while he was giving me my lovely PIO shot I forget sometimes how invested he is in this process too. And I realize how lucky we are we have the resources to try IVF, we are both on the same page about trying for another baby, and we do have 4 blastocysts (although they may or may not be good ones). And if we decide to try one more time with a fresh cycle, we have the resources to do it, although it's hard to feel like you're gambling with that much money. And more importantly we already have a child who is the biggest blessing I could ever imagine. When I look at it that way, it's hard to feel so sorry for myself.

ETA: And there was just more spotting/staining again, so I'm back to resigning myself to the inevitable

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - I was just about to say I am glad to hear you are doing better today and then saw your update. Grrr. I am still hopeful for you. I do not know why you are having the spotting. It seems like it is so early still and I am just hoping it's implantation! It would be really early for you to have ANY pregnancy symptoms at this point. I am glad you had a good talk with your DH though. Good for you for holding out on testing. I know I am going to be a mess when the window is open for testing for me. I mean, sometimes I feel like I should be testing right now, and then I remember . . . I'm still waiting for the transfer.

 

[JGator]

RT, sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

LV, glad to hear the FET is scheduled later this month. Will be thinking positive thoughts for you.

MP, sorry about the spotting, but I'm glad you found some perspective despite this crazy emotional journey you have been on for so long. I often think that I might just be pushing my luck by wanting another as we are so lucky that K was healthy, and she is such a blessing to us. I will be thinking of you and praying for you tomorrow when you go for your beta.

Bright, hi .

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, ha. Too funny. During the stim phase when I would feel a cramp, I sometimes would think, does that mean I'm pregnant? Crazy what a TTC brain thinks up sometimes. If it weren't for the spotting, I'm sure I would have tested by now, but since I already have lost hope, I figured I wouldn't add more salt to my wounds with ambiguous BFNs. I meant to say earlier that I'm thinking of you while you prep for the FET. If you don't mind sharing what that entails, I'd love to hear it. I already have a list of questions ready for my anticipated WTF appointment (as the IVF veterans apparently call it), and DH and I have decided we're going to do an FET cycle as soon as she thinks I'm ready for it. I'm also going to ask if she thinks it's worth doing PGD at this point, or if it doesn't make sense to do it since they were already frozen. I'm thinking she'll say the latter.

JGator, thanks, friend. For what it's worth, I don't think you're pushing our luck by wanting more than one child. I think you should definitely pursue it if that is your dream and not feel greedy. For whatever reason we're in this position (me - apparently crappy ovaries and you - not being in a position to start a family until later in life), that doesn't mean we don't deserve to try for more than one child. People who are naturally fertile don't have to question themselves like we do and feel greedy about wanting a larger family, and nobody questions them for wanting to add to their family. But I get what you're saying. It's important to remember we are blessed that we both have a child. Good luck tomorrow, lady. I'm sure it will all go smoothly, and it will be good to have it behind you.

 

[royalasscherlover]

mp, I'm so sorry the spotting continues and you're not feeling optimistic. I am still crossing my fingers that you get unexpected good news tomorrow - didn't you have spotting early on with your son too? But I totally understand not wanting to get your hopes up at this stage of the game. I think you can only do PGD with a fresh cycle, but it will be interesting to hear what your doc says. So you're prepared...don't expect too many answers at the WTF appointment. This is not an exact science post-transfer, unfortunately and one of the hardest things is not really knowing why it didn't work. Frozen cycles are much easier than fresh - only OCP, Lupron, and estrace with a couple appointments before the ultrasound lining check, which is treated as the retrieval day. Post lining check, the meds and process are the same as with a fresh embryo.

LV, I am sending good vibes for your FET later this month. I hope this is it for you!

jgator, I hope everything goes smoothly with your procedure tomorrow and that this is the last big hurdle for you.

Bright, thanks for thinking of me.

rt, so sorry to hear about your mother.

lc, I'm so upset to read your update. I wish you weren't going through this again. Big, big hugs and be kind to yourself.

afm, we're planning to do another transfer in September. If that one doesn't work, we may take a break for a couple months since our insurance will start covering IVF in January. That's good news, but I'm really hoping we don't need to use that coverage for a couple more years.

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, yeah, I pretty much expect my RE to be like, there was a 50/50 shot, and it just didn't work. The main thing I want to know is what can be done to prevent premature spotting next time and the old chicken and egg question - did the spotting cause the failure or did the failure cause the spotting. Ha, as if I'll get an answer to that! I mainly want information about what to expect going forward with FETs, the quality of the blasts, and if she gained any insight. She suggested I had a better than average response regarding fertilization and blasts, so I want to know if she still thinks egg quality is the issue, but again, who the hell knows. Glad to hear you'll be moving forward with another FET in September. Maybe we'll be around the same time. Awesome about the insurance in January, but like you, I hope the insurance turns out to be a waste unless you decide to try for #2.

Oh, and I did have spotting with my son, but it was different. With him I tested 12dpiui, got a super faint positive, then had a one time bright red bleed that evening, assumed it was AF and I was out, but the line got darker when I tested again the next day. There was a mixup with my beta, so I was told I wasn't pregnant, but I obviously was. I had another single incident of bright red blood at 5 weeks. This time, it's just been very typical pre-AF spotting that I get (pinkish/brown cm), and it seems to have picked up a little today, plus I have a headache and feel crampy. AF is so waiting for me to stop the PIO to come in full force!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Completely jumping the gun here because I haven't had my beta yet, but you guys...I had a BFP this morning. I'm in shock, and can't quite believe it, but 4 tests don't lie. Although the CB digital is expired by a year and can't be trusted, and the wondfo barely had a line. DH still doesn't trust it and is trying to keep my expectations tempered. Obviously with the spotting, I'm very concerned about viabilty, but I'm going to choose to be hopeful this morning and grateful that at least I know I had a baby implant when I didn't think it was possible.. Appreciate your prayers. And thanks for all the support and staying hopeful even when I didn't.

ETA, the pictures look clearer on my phone than on here. Ugh. I'm worried I'm jinxing myself by even posting this..

 

[pancake]

Oh my goodness, MP - I have EVERYTHING figuratively crossed for you xxx

 

[pancake]

And LC, I am so very sorry to hear your sad news. Give yourself time and space to grieve and heal.

 

[dani13]

Omg, MP!!! Look at those beautiful lines!!!! Congratulations!!! Sending you major sticky vibes and lots of prayers!!!!

 

[dani13]

LC, I'm so so sorry my friend. Major prayers outgoing for you, and of course, big hugs.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Woooooooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooooooo MP!!! SO AWESOME TO SEE THOSE LINES!! Sending positive vibes for a great beta today!

 

[Clairitek]

I see lines! Lots o lines! You go into the RE tomorrow for blood testing, right?

 

[lliang_chi]

HOLY COW MP!!!! Look at those lines! Dust dust dust for the stickiest bean(s) for you! Dust dust!

 

[BrightSpot]

MP!!!! Those are great looking lines, lady! I'm so incredibly excited for you! Sending you a truckload of sticky dust & keeping you in my thoughts & prayers for a great beta & a sticky, healthy bean (or 2)!

 

[S&I]

MP, I didn't want to say anything the other day, but I just KNEW you were pregnant!!! Those are some awesome lines! Tons of sticky dust to you, and I can't wait to hear what your beta is today!

I wanted to remind you that you went digging around up there looking for blood back when you were pregnant with Ev too, and everything turned out fine. I know it's hard, but try to remind yourself that spotting is completely normal. I spotted with both pregnancies, and even more so for #2. I also had a lovely UTI shortly after getting my BFP, and was bleeding from that. I remember dreading going to the bathroom to see the pink on my liner, and seriously thinking that this pregnancy was doomed from the beginning. Anyway, all that is just to say that you will be fine. You've had a successful pregnancy already, and your body knows what to do!

LC, so sorry to see your update. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but we're all here for you!

 

[Huff26]

LC: I am so utterly heartbroken for you. You are always so lovely to everyone here on the boards and I am so sorry it had to happen to such a wonderful person. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

MP: Those are seriously some lines. Dust dust dust to your little bean! I am crossing my fingers for you over here!

jgator: I hope your procedure went well!

Brightspot: Thank you so much for the encouragement. You have no idea what it means to me. I have been doing a little better, but I think I am going to wait a week before I double the dose.

AFM I'm just POS waiting to hopefully O. Trying to focus on all the good that's in my life.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thank you everyone for the sweet comments. You are all the best. The good news is that I'm definitely pregnant. The not so great news is that just like last time, my beta is not overly impressive. I'm 8dp5dt, so 13dpo, and my beta was 42, which they said was fine, but I know it's kind of low. With my son, the first accurate beta I got was on 17dpo, and it was 165, so this is on target for that, which makes me hope that maybe I'm just a low HCG kind of gal. I'll know more on Saturday. I'm very happy to know that I at least am capable of another pregnancy. Please God let this baby stick around! In the meantime I'd appreciate any good thoughts, vibes, prayers, dust or whatever you've got to spare.

Oh, and S&I, your comments made me laugh because they are so true!

I'm swamped today at work, so I don't even have time to think about this fortunately or respond individually, but all of you TTC ladies are in my thoughts as always!

 

[Laila619]

I've been reading along and totally thinking you were pregnant, MP, and those are definitely BFPs!! Your progesterone being 200 was such a good sign. Guess IVF was the magic thing for you. Congrats!!! Try not to worry about betas; mine were always kind of average, even with the twins.

LC, I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Tourmaline]

YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY, monkeyprincess! So excited for you!!!!!!

 

[random_thought]

MP- that is so great Very excited for you!

 

[lliang_chi]

MP, Hooray those are great betas and I hope you get positive news on Saturday! I'm glad we have some good news on this thread

RT, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Sending your family thoughts and hoping for a good outcome.

JGator, thinking of you today! Hope the procedure goes well

Thanks everyone for the kind words. It's pretty hard this go round since we were so much further along, but I'm just trying to 1) get this behind me 2) focus on my son 3) letting go of the anger and negativity. It's not going to change anything so no point in getting angry. Still very sad, but it's to be expected.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - I am very happy for you!! This is such great news!! I really am overjoyed for you!!

LC - I know it must be very hard. Sending thoughts of kindness and healing your way.