Do men hit on you?

[lioness]

Yeah. Momma still got it goin' on!

Why? Looks? Dunno. I admit, I have T and long, strong legs for my height. I'm actually short. No A. Too busy to do squats. Don't care, really. I never wear much makeup, which I think actually helps me look younger and fresher than the women who layer on the warpaint in an obvious attempt to turn back the clock. Nonetheless, I think the reason why guys still check out this middle-aged mom is that they can pick up on confidence, even cockiness, and that is immensely intriguing to men. Take yesterday. I was walking to court, stressing about that day's hearing in my custody proceeding against the psychopath I was once married to. Not one glance. One the way back, the hearing having gone very well, I couldn't help but notice the attention. I was wearing the same dress and the same dowdy dusty boring walking shoes. (This woman does not suffer for fashion; walking means comfortable, padded footwear. The court heels were in my tote bag.) The only difference was my energy. I felt powerful after the hearing.

Why am I a bit cocky? After what I've survived with my ex, I'm not scared of anything or anyone, least of which the male gaze. Bring it on.

 

[lioness]

Yep, at almost 46 I'm glad to know I still got "IT".

Yo go girl!!!

 

[OreoRosies86]

Nope. I gained weight and that was that.

 

[Sky56]

I wouldn't say they hit on me, but I can tell that men and women find me attractive; I don't mean sexually but drawn to my general personality. I do have a huge leonine mane of grey blonde hair and it draws attention. I dress very conservatively, and am not trim, but I have a love of life, bright eyes, and a friendly face and find that most people who encounter me are drawn to me, as well as random dogs and cats.

 

[arkieb1]

No, they used to a lot when I was in my 20s and early 30s but I think I became invisible when I hit my mid 30s, I'm now heading for my mid 40s so I'm obviously now over the hill

 

[Dancing Fire]

I find this intriguing, mostly because I don't really know anyone but my flirty friend who DOES get hit on. She pretty much instigates and begs for it. I was expecting a few yes but many more no's! Maybe PS women are more attractive than ordinary!
DF, you telling me no women hit on you for a sugar daddy???

Nahhh, They are looking for a rich sugar daddy!...

 

[SB621]

Ummm maybe???? Honestly I'm usually in my own little world so I wouldn't even know if they were flirting or not. Alot goes over my head. But I think i look good and guys don't run away screaming so perhaps I get hit on.

On another note my DH gets hit on ALL THE TIME! We go to the pool and he takes off his shirt and all the ladies heads snap right to him. We go to the park with our kids and women come up to engage him in conversation all the time while Im there! In front of our kids even! We go out for dinner and ladies fall all over him to buy him drinks. He wears a wedding ring and pretty much never engages. We laugh about how crazy women can be. He is sooooo super lucky I'm not the jealous type and I get a huge kick out of it.

 

[AGBF]

I wouldn't say they hit on me, but I can tell that men and women find me attractive... and find that most people who encounter me are drawn to me, as well as random dogs and cats.

She said, "men". I heard her. Now cats are definitely drawn to me. And I mean drawn to me. I never knew cats, and my best friend is always trying to explain what they are doing. That one just "kissed" me or whatever' I haven't got a clue. She said they like me because I am quiet. (I am. She, by contrast, appears loud, although she tries to be quiet with them.) It isn't just her cats, though. All I have to do is sit down in any room with a cat, and the cat is in my lap.

And the things is...I am not a cat person. I am a dog person. I have a relationship with all dogs. Dogs love me, too. The fiercest of my best friend's wolf-hybrids have come to love me.

It's men who never notice me.

Deb, trying to make sure everyone else has this topic clear

 

[missy]

There is no denying when I was younger I got "hit on" much more often. Not because I am a flirt (though I am friendly) but because I am very cheerful and upbeat IRL and smile a lot plus I was young, decently attractive, fit and approachable. I still have men flirting with me though the demographic is now a bit older but so am I LOL. But I am not hit on as much as I was in the past. Part of that is I am older and also usually with my dh most of the time these days. And part of that is because I have been housebound for the last 6 weeks haha.

Now cats are definitely drawn to me. And I mean drawn to me. I never knew cats, and my best friend is always trying to explain what they are doing. That one just "kissed" me or whatever' I haven't got a clue. She said they like me because I am quiet. (I am. She, by contrast, appears loud, although she tries to be quiet with them.) It isn't just her cats, though. All I have to do is sit down in any room with a cat, and the cat is in my lap.

And the things is...I am not a cat person. I am a dog person. I have a relationship with all dogs. Dogs love me, too. The fiercest of my best friend's wolf-hybrids have come to love me.

It's men who never notice me.

Deb, trying to make sure everyone else has this topic clear

Deb, animals are much smarter than humans when it comes to knowing who is a wonderful person with an amazing spirit and soul. And in your case this is certainly true. Dogs and cats can see who you are so much better than most people.

 

[chrono]

Nope, never, and I prefer it that way.

 

[momhappy]

When I type it out, it sounds conceited, so I'll just respond by saying that I used to get hit on a lot more often, but as I get older, those moments are getting fewer and farther between. I'd say that I'm fairly flirty and I've got certain physical "features" that draw people in. I'm also typically "put together" (I put a fair amount of effort into my appearance) so that gives me more confidence.

 

[iLander]

Enjoy it while you're young, ladies.

Because it probably won't last.

At least it didn't for me.

I'm at the age when I should be a grandmother, but DS is not cooperating.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Almost never.

I did go through a period where I was hit on every day, multiple times...because I volunteered in a maximum security English prison and had a captive audience, so to speak. That was an interesting year.

 

[AGBF]

Enjoy it while you're young, ladies.

Because it probably won't last.

At least it didn't for me.

I'm at the age when I should be a grandmother, but DS is not cooperating.

You're singing my song, iLander! When one of my best friends turned 60-right before I did-this is the mother of my godson, she complained of how women "disappeared". And this was a woman who never looked her age at all. In fact she was often mistaken for her son's wife and the mother of her grandson!

But there comes an age when one starts to look old. Unless one is a movie star with extensive plastic surgery and botox. Then one starts to look weird, instead.

Why do you think people looked for the Fountain of Youth for centuries?

I am not, yet, a grandmother (and I don't want my daughter, with her emotional problems, to make me one). But all my friends are grandmothers. Ladies, if you are loved, you will always be loved. But do not expect always to be an object of sexual desire, to be "hit on" by all the men who gaze upon you. If you are an interesting conversationalist, however, people-including men-will always talk with you!

"A beautiful woman is one I notice; a charming woman is one who notices me."

Deb/AGBF

 

[monarch64]

My mother is 73, silver haired, overweight, and twice a grandmother. She still gets hit on. It's kind of weird (because most people don't think of older ladies getting "hit on" in the typical sense), but at the same time, very reassuring. She carries herself very well, dresses impeccably, and her demeanor is very warm. She literally has men follow her through stores trying to talk to her.

I have several friends who are well into their fifties and sixties who are still hot stuff. We live in the Midwest, though, not in an age-obsessed area where Botox and surgery is coveted or encouraged. Dull as it may seem to some, the lifestyle here is down to earth, natural, and places health above chasing youth desperately through whatever means necessary. Or maybe those are just the kind of people I choose to surround myself with. I'm sure there are many in the region who feel differently.

 

[alexah]

Years ago when I first moved to NYC - yes. I was so happy to be there, on my own, I gave off a happy/friendly vibe which probably wasn't the norm there. I had random guys approaching me on the street often, asking me if I was "insert celebrity name here"?
After a few guys took it too far (following me from store to store and even home! -and I had definitely made it clear I was not at all interested), I changed my vibe. It became "don't EVEN THINK about it!" - and I didn't have any more issues (except construction workers of course, ha ha).

Oh - and in bars - yes all the time... which was cool cuz drinks in Manhattan are $$$ and guys liked to buy me drinks...

Hubs & I moved away from the city less than a year ago and where I live now, I just assume people are friendly, not hitting on me.

 

[Sky56]

AGBF has random cats pay attention to her because they detect a kind spirit. Many animals have keen senses for that.

Men, that's another story. I was not a raving beauty when young, rather on the average-attractive scale, but when I lived in NYC, I wore baggy clothes and sunglasses because that was the only way I could prevent unwanted attention from men on the street or subway. I even wore a wedding band when I was single there to help with being left alone. Of course, the men I ~was~ interested in had no interest in me, so I was alone and lonely, and hit upon too. No win situation.

Getting older and being married, it's nice to only have male dogs hit on me. But I don't like it if they try to hump my leg.

 

[Lulie]

Yes, often
I believe I'm average looking woman. Desperate Flirts & Diggers are everywhere unfortunately.

 

[madelise]

Unfortunately, no. I don't understand it. I think I'm pretty, and I know I'm overweight but not *THAT* much overweight... I have a pretty good figure, I think?

 

[CJ2008]

Sometimes.

Especially when I've made an effort with my outfit and look stylish.

Or when in my gym clothes (especially if, again, I've made an effort to look stylish).

And I do notice them noticing me sometimes, in certain situations.

But in my book...not often enough...now that I'm older, not often enough.

 

[msop04]

Constantly. I'm assuming it's because of my incredible body and beautiful face, but I'm not positive.

+1 (from a fellow unicorn)

 

[msop04]

Unfortunately, no. I don't understand it. I think I'm pretty, and I know I'm overweight but not *THAT* much overweight... I have a pretty good figure, I think?

They're intimidated by your massive rocks!!

(I can take them off your hands...)

 

[makemepretty]

Nope. I very rarely make eye contact with the opposite sex, I don't flirt or encourage it. I'm small and have a very nice persona, "cute" would describe me, "nice and sweet" would describe me. There would be no crossing over into any kind of flirting. When my sister brought her soon to be husband over he commented to her later that I don't really make eye contact. I don't. I never want to encourage any kind of flirting, I don't think it's appropriate.

My husband has mentioned he's caught guys checking me out but the thing with flirting is, if you don't give them the chance to flirt, they really can't.

 

[Laila619]

No, 'cause I'm heavily pregnant with twins and everywhere I go, I am usually with my two kids and/or my husband. Not exactly conducive to getting hit on!

When I was younger and single, yes.

 

[madelise]

Unfortunately, no. I don't understand it. I think I'm pretty, and I know I'm overweight but not *THAT* much overweight... I have a pretty good figure, I think?

They're intimidated by your massive rocks!!

(I can take them off your hands...)

I don't wear them... So it's definitely not that. I got dressed super cute and dolled up to head out in la today. Lots of guys at the bar, and barely any girls.. No one approached me.

I don't know how to meet men haha. Ergh!!

 

[AGBF]

No, 'cause I'm heavily pregnant with twins and everywhere I go, I am usually with my two kids and/or my husband. Not exactly conducive to getting hit on!

When I was younger and single, yes.

It's probably only the the husband that deters the men. A huge number of men are attracted to pregnant women, and not because they are weirdos, either. Subconsciously, they are looking for some nurturing. Pregnant women are also at a child bearing age by definition. It is actually sort of sweet.

Deb

 

[CJ2008]

Unfortunately, no. I don't understand it. I think I'm pretty, and I know I'm overweight but not *THAT* much overweight... I have a pretty good figure, I think?

They're intimidated by your massive rocks!!

(I can take them off your hands...)

I don't wear them... So it's definitely not that. I got dressed super cute and dolled up to head out in la today. Lots of guys at the bar, and barely any girls.. No one approached me.

I don't know how to meet men haha. Ergh!!

Maybe it's the way you're thinking...what's going on in your mind. Maybe you don't appear approachable even though you feel like you are. Have you tried an activity where there will be lots of men but where you're focused on something else (something you enjoy). Have you tried group dance lessons for example.

 

[chemgirl]

Never really.

And I'm a size 4 without major flaws so what gives!?

Seriously though I think its more of confidence thing than a weight thing.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Unfortunately, no. I don't understand it. I think I'm pretty, and I know I'm overweight but not *THAT* much overweight... I have a pretty good figure, I think?

They're intimidated by your massive rocks!!

(I can take them off your hands...)

I don't wear them... So it's definitely not that. I got dressed super cute and dolled up to head out in la today. Lots of guys at the bar, and barely any girls.. No one approached me.

I don't know how to meet men haha. Ergh!!

I don't know if you read my post, but I get hit on mostly at the grocery store, and not the usual club or bar scene. Another place I didn't mention was the gym. My perception is that a lot of guys at not going for just looks, but rather someone who takes care of themselves, and will therefore take care of them. My guys friends and family members (male) have often told me that girls who are too dolled up look high maintenance. The are looking for someone who is cute and confident in a ponytail and flop flops.

 

[packrat]

Men and women w/tattoos or who appreciate tattoos look at me more than other people. But there's no flirting. I remember being in a hot tub when we went to Florida years ago (before kids) and another couple got in. The guy wouldn't quit looking at me, and his wife took his head in her hands and turned his face back to look at her. And the times my brother would be hanging out w/friends that I'd not met yet, and when I would come, they'd go on and on about this gorgeous girl and my brother would be like "dude, that's my SISTER" haha. Or the time I was dating an older guy, was over at his apt, and there was pounding on the door, and three of his friends came running in, calling out to him about this hot chick that came upstairs and was over at X's apartment. Full stop when they see me. "OMG the hot chick is w/YOU??" "Um...well, Hi, nice to meet you and X is my brother." JD in fact had a crush on me for several years but felt I was out of his league. Things like that happened ALL the time, my brother and I used to laugh about it and tell the stories a lot b/c girls were always saying things to *me* about *him* not knowing he was my brother.