Should I teach my nieces about dental floss?

[kenny]

My SO's brother, his wife, and their daughters ages 3 and 5 are visiting.
One of the girls saw me use dental floss and asked what I was doing.
Nobody in their family uses floss, and all have dentures by age 40.
They say bad teeth just run in the family. Uhm ...

Clearly educating the parents, who would educate their kids, is best.
After all, they'd have to buy the floss for the girls to use.
But wouldn't just bringing up the topic insult their parental pride?

It's none of my business if the parents floss but when the girls asked me what I was doing it really hit me in the gut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I realize flossing is not a 100% guarantee of keeping all teeth 78 years, but it one step that increases the odds.

 

[missy]

I would. There is no downside to educating them at an early age and I hope their parents would be OK with that. Don't all (good) parents want better for their children than they had? I would discuss it with the parents first however and hope they see the common sense in your offer of teaching the girls how and why to floss. And floss is inexpensive at Costco. You can get it on sale and have enough to last a year for pennies (if even that) a day.

I chose the Other choice as I would first OK it with the parents out of respect.

 

[JewelFreak]

I don't think it would have occurred to me to ask. When they inquired, I probably would've said, "Flossing. It's helps your teeth. Wanna try it?" Same as if they'd asked about makeup or a hair treatment. Then I would've dropped the subject -- if they mentioned it to their parents, would've simply said I was flossing & they asked. I think your hesitation comes from fear that your disapproval of their dental hygiene would come through. You're a sweetie, but if it's done in a light tone, can't see where there's trouble in it. In any case it probably wouldn't change their regular habits -- usually takes more than that to accomplish it.

--- Laurie

 

[kenny]

Oh, and today we're all going to the beach so the girls can see the ocean for the first time.

No sunscreen for the girls.
I offered but mom declined.

I'm biting my tongue.
Today's sun exposure may help this beautiful face get skin cancer some day.

 

[Gem Queen]

My best friend's husband is a dentist. She always says, "only floss the teeth you want to keep"! Lol

 

[kenny]

My best friend's husband is a dentist. She always says, "only floss the teeth you want to keep"! Lol

Good one!

Another one I heard ... "Ignore your teeth, and they'll go away."

 

[missy]

Oh, and today we're all going to the beach so the girls can see the ocean for the first time.

No sunscreen for the girls.
I offered but mom declined.

I'm biting my tongue.
Today's sun exposure may help this beautiful face get skin cancer some day.

How is it that your BIL and SIL don't know about the importance of UVA and UVB protection? Not flossing and not applying sunscreen or otherwise protecting your children or yourself from the UV rays is shortening their lives.

I probably wouldn't bite my tongue in this case. I would try to explain the importance to them. I wouldn't just not say anything for fear of offending them. If it's coming from a caring place and you say it without judgment there is no reason they should take offense. And even if they do too bad. At least I would try. It can be a matter of life and death.

 

[kenny]

Oh, and today we're all going to the beach so the girls can see the ocean for the first time.

No sunscreen for the girls.
I offered but mom declined.

I'm biting my tongue.
Today's sun exposure may help this beautiful face get skin cancer some day.

How is it that your BIL and SIL don't know about the importance of UVA and UVB protection? Not flossing and not applying sunscreen or otherwise protecting your children or yourself from the UV rays is shortening their lives.

I probably wouldn't bite my tongue in this case. I would try to explain the importance to them. I wouldn't just not say anything for fear of offending them. If it's coming from a caring place and you say it without judgment there is no reason they should take offense. And even if they do too bad. At least I would try. It can be a matter of life and death.

There are many societies and cultures in America.
Each has a hard time fathoming the others.

I live in two.

 

[CJ2008]

Oh, and today we're all going to the beach so the girls can see the ocean for the first time.

No sunscreen for the girls.
I offered but mom declined.

I'm biting my tongue.
Today's sun exposure may help this beautiful face get skin cancer some day.

No sunscreen

Are you sure - or do you have a feeling - that the refusal isn't that she's AGAINST sunscreen but just thinking that it's the same using it or not? If not cancer, could you approach the subject from a "protecting the beauty of the skin" angle instead?

 

[missy]

Oh, and today we're all going to the beach so the girls can see the ocean for the first time.

No sunscreen for the girls.
I offered but mom declined.

I'm biting my tongue.
Today's sun exposure may help this beautiful face get skin cancer some day.

How is it that your BIL and SIL don't know about the importance of UVA and UVB protection? Not flossing and not applying sunscreen or otherwise protecting your children or yourself from the UV rays is shortening their lives.

I probably wouldn't bite my tongue in this case. I would try to explain the importance to them. I wouldn't just not say anything for fear of offending them. If it's coming from a caring place and you say it without judgment there is no reason they should take offense. And even if they do too bad. At least I would try. It can be a matter of life and death.

There are many societies and cultures in America.
Each has a hard time fathoming the others.

I live in two.

I live in two as well however this has to do with science and fact and there is a good reason having nothing to do with culture why your sweet nieces should protect their skin from the sun.

 

[kenny]

Oh, and today we're all going to the beach so the girls can see the ocean for the first time.

No sunscreen for the girls.
I offered but mom declined.

I'm biting my tongue.
Today's sun exposure may help this beautiful face get skin cancer some day.

How is it that your BIL and SIL don't know about the importance of UVA and UVB protection? Not flossing and not applying sunscreen or otherwise protecting your children or yourself from the UV rays is shortening their lives.

I probably wouldn't bite my tongue in this case. I would try to explain the importance to them. I wouldn't just not say anything for fear of offending them. If it's coming from a caring place and you say it without judgment there is no reason they should take offense. And even if they do too bad. At least I would try. It can be a matter of life and death.

There are many societies and cultures in America.
Each has a hard time fathoming the others.

I live in two.

I live in two as well however this has to do with science and fact and there is a good reason having nothing to do with culture why your sweet nieces should protect their skin from the sun.

Science and fact?
Millions of Americans believe the earth is 6000 years old, a virgin had a baby, and voted for GWB because he's a guy you could have a beer with.

Zillions are disenfranchised, suspicious of, and even hostile to science and those rich white people who (in their view) are self-righteous superior, and keep them poor.

This is not just about sunblock and floss.

My SO was raised in the ghetto in a deeply religious family.
Like I said, I live in two worlds.
Actually, it's intriguing.

 

[missy]

Oh, and today we're all going to the beach so the girls can see the ocean for the first time.

No sunscreen for the girls.
I offered but mom declined.

I'm biting my tongue.
Today's sun exposure may help this beautiful face get skin cancer some day.

How is it that your BIL and SIL don't know about the importance of UVA and UVB protection? Not flossing and not applying sunscreen or otherwise protecting your children or yourself from the UV rays is shortening their lives.

I probably wouldn't bite my tongue in this case. I would try to explain the importance to them. I wouldn't just not say anything for fear of offending them. If it's coming from a caring place and you say it without judgment there is no reason they should take offense. And even if they do too bad. At least I would try. It can be a matter of life and death.

There are many societies and cultures in America.
Each has a hard time fathoming the others.

I live in two.

I live in two as well however this has to do with science and fact and there is a good reason having nothing to do with culture why your sweet nieces should protect their skin from the sun.

Science and fact?
Millions of Americans believe the earth is 6000 years old, a virgin had a baby, and voted for GWB because he's a guy you could have a beer with.

Zillions are disenfranchised, suspicious of, and even hostile to science and those rich white people who (in their view) are self-righteous superior, and keep them poor.

This is not just about sunblock and floss.
My SO was raised in the ghetto.

Like I said, I live in two worlds.
Actually, it's intriguing.

Just because someone was raised in the ghetto doesn't mean they are uneducated and if they are they don't have to remain uneducated. I work with plenty of poor people who happily wear sunscreen and floss their teeth. One doesn't have to follow the other. Especially because they have people (you) in their family who can help educate them. Someone they trust I would guess.

 

[kenny]

Oh Puhleeze.
Get off your high horse.

 

[missy]

Oh Puhleeze.
Get off your high horse.

OK Kenny. You're right and I'm wrong. Not sure why you posted if you don't want to hear other's thoughts but you sound defensive now so I'm done. Name calling is not something I do and not something I stay around for. Bye.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Yes, if kids ask you a question I vote answer it (within reason).

No sunscreen IMO, no beach. "I'm sorry but I really don't feel comfortable having the girls out all day without skin protection. I hope you understand."

They make a zillion kidcentric products nowadays designed to get kids to want to brush, floss, and use mouthwash. Maybe a trip to the drugstore to stock up on some fun dental care? Then at least they can have a really fun brushing routine at your place and that could very well instill good habits now while they are young.

To quote my favorite man ever Neil DeGrasse Tyson: "The good thing about science is, its true whether or not you believe in it."

 

[kenny]

Also please factor in VERY VERY low income.

Us diamond-buying folks get used to being able to afford all that stuff we see as necessities.
Sunblock is very very expensive, especially compared to floss.

 

[MMtwo]

I think showing a curious child how to use dental floss is a great idea. What are uncles for? Showing you cool new stuff!

What a precious little one in the picture <3!!!

Remembering back to the best part of childhood tooth care...DISCLOSING TABLETS! maybe in the future you can have fun with that when they come to stay with you and are a little older.

When they are in grade school, usually they will have a segment on brushing and flossing at some point for just this reason.

 

[Kaleigh]

Take a deep breath because this is going to be a long one.....

I think yes you should Kenny..... Here comes the BUT.... You come off so harshly... If you talk about it to them do so with their parents ok and do so in a very kind manner.. The way you talk about your SO and his family has really been hard for me to read. I know I don't have to read what you say. And you will answer people vary...

YES they do. BUT people have feelings...

And the RSVP thing about a kids birthday partY??

I havent been around a lot, but sheesh this is making more ill than I am!!! And no don't feel bad I am sick because you would turn that around too..

Rant over!!

 

[kenny]

No problem.

 

[ckrickett]

I brushed my teeth 2-3 times a day but rarely flossed. I had 2 teeth fall out and others give me tremendous pain, I've had to go for multiple deep cleanings which are EXPENSIVE and hurt, and I have 8 more cavities to get filled (already had 6 filled)

I have 2 friends who are dental hygienists (one os one of my BFF) and they have said my problems were due to not flossing, and I do believe them.

Brushing I have found to help remove topical debris, and help with bad breathe, but flossing is IMPERATIVE! If I'd know the fortune I would have to spend on dental I would have flossed 3-5 times a day! So yes I would talk the parents about it. Maybe not so much in a "WTF why you no flossing those girlies teeth!?" but maybe just ask why.


as for sunblock I thought that was a given? sunburns, sun damaged skin is no fun!

 

[Sky56]

Floss and Doctor's Brush Picks are good. You are a good uncle.

My mother told me that growing up without floss in the 1930's - not good. She paid the price.

Some parents hate to get advice from others, though.

 

[Trekkie]

I have known brown people who get quite offended when one suggests sunscreen as they feel that one is saying one doesn't want them to get darker. Not saying this is the case here, but it has been my experience.

I'm a caramel/golden brown tone (a bit lighter than your niece) and have never used sunscreen in my life.

Never really been burnt either.

If your niece goes out today and gets burnt, insist on sunscreen next time.

As an aside, I love how over time she has morphed from being described as your SO's niece to being your niece too.

 

[JewelFreak]

Kenny, I know what you're dealing with -- the folks above are too tough on you. I live in 2 worlds too -- DH's family is not only in another country but there's a vast divide in...how do I say it...knowledge, curiosity, experience, as well as income. I sympathize with your dilemma.

Whatever you suggest won't be likely to change their outlook; at least that's my experience. In order to change the way they've always lived, people need strong motivation. Do you think whatever you say will be enough? I know my in-laws would think I was presumptuous & would sneer behind my back. That's why I suggested treating the dental stuff casually -- if they pick up & want more info, super; if they don't, you haven't made them defensive either, which is good for the future.

As for sunscreen, how about just putting some of yours on her when you get to the beach? Like, "Here, I wear this stuff & it helps me not get sunburned & sore. Let's do this together," as you smear it on her. Again, casually & just go on with the day; the less you make of it, the better. You are not responsible for the rest of her life, adorable as she is. Actually, you're not responsible for her today, should they refuse the sunscreen (though I wouldn't ask -- I'd do it as if everyone takes it for granted).

It's a very hard job to butt out when you feel strongly that somebody's habits are harmful. For the sake of family peace, sometimes we have to. People vary, as someone said once.

--- Laurie

 

[JaneSmith]

Buy them sun hats, sun glasses, and sun suits or sun shirts as presents. Also buy them some floss or children's flossers. Make it like its no big deal and that it's all normal stuff. Say the girls were curious (no lie) and you are just following up on their curiosity. The indulgent uncle.

Here's a couple of cute charts. They might be a bit young to read, but the pictures are good. I'm sure you could google something similar in Spanish if that is their language.

 

[JaneSmith]

Here are the sun clothes. You can get long sleeved tops too.




For the oral care charts, you can find a couple you like and print them out for them to hang in their bathroom.

 

[kenny]

Thanks all.

 

[TooPatient]

I would have taken the light-hearted "I'm flossing because it keeps my teeth healthy. Would you like some too?" approach to answering the question. If you don't make it a big deal, they usually won't either.


Regarding the sunscreen, eh.
Yes, it is VERY important. Yes, they SHOULD know about it. (I've watched too many suffer the consequences of not )

That said...
I have very pale skin and burn very easily. It isn't just at the beach. At the beach and outdoor events I do wear sunscreen. What took me longer to figure out is that just driving to the grocery store and back was enough to have me start burning.

I would not have refused the beach if they didn't want sunscreen. I would have gone to the beach and talked privately later to see why the parents didn't want sunscreen. Is the daughter's skin super sensitive and prone to break out in rashes? Is someone allergic to the scents? Did they think it was full of chemicals they've heard bad things about?

 

[TooPatient]

Do you send them birthday presents?

If so, you could always send themed stuff that includes this sort of thing. It could be a fun present so they love it rather than thinking you're trying to put them down in any way.

I do stuff like this for my cousins all the time and it is a HUGE hit with them and their parents.


Example:

Beach themed with a note and a picture from your day together at the beach. Include a cool looking beach towel, a couple of different sunscreens (maybe a natural scented one and an unscented), fun sunglasses, flip flops, etc

Skin/beauty themed. Include lip gloss, soft face towels, a couple of pretty hair clips, floss in a couple of varieties, lotions (could even get in an SPF sort of lotion here), etc.

 

[momhappy]

My SO's brother, his wife, and their daughters ages 3 and 5 are visiting.
One of the girls saw me use dental floss and asked what I was doing.
Nobody in their family uses floss, and all have dentures by age 40.
They say bad teeth just run in the family. Uhm ...

Clearly educating the parents, who would educate their kids, is best.
After all, they'd have to buy the floss for the girls to use.
But wouldn't just bringing up the topic insult their parental pride?

It's none of my business if the parents floss but when the girls asked me what I was doing it really hit me in the gut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I realize flossing is not a 100% guarantee of keeping all teeth 78 years, but it one step that increases the odds.

Some studies have shown that about 60% of tooth decay has a genetic component, so "bad teeth" certainly can run in the family (and there's not necessarily anything one can do to prevent it). Sure, proper dental hygiene helps (like brushing & flossing), but again, bad teeth can run in the family. As far as teaching the girls, I would have just answered their question and moved on. I wouldn't make a lesson out of it, but there's nothing wrong with a brief explanation of what, how, and why.

 

[kenny]

My SO's brother, his wife, and their daughters ages 3 and 5 are visiting.
One of the girls saw me use dental floss and asked what I was doing.
Nobody in their family uses floss, and all have dentures by age 40.
They say bad teeth just run in the family. Uhm ...

Clearly educating the parents, who would educate their kids, is best.
After all, they'd have to buy the floss for the girls to use.
But wouldn't just bringing up the topic insult their parental pride?

It's none of my business if the parents floss but when the girls asked me what I was doing it really hit me in the gut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I realize flossing is not a 100% guarantee of keeping all teeth 78 years, but it one step that increases the odds.

Some studies have shown that about 60% of tooth decay has a genetic component, so "bad teeth" certainly can run in the family (and there's not necessarily anything one can do to prevent it). Sure, proper dental hygiene helps (like brushing & flossing), but again, bad teeth can run in the family. As far as teaching the girls, I would have just answered their question and moved on. I wouldn't make a lesson out of it, but there's nothing wrong with a brief explanation of what, how, and why.

I guess the only way to know if their claim of, "Why bother flossing since dentures just run in this family" could only be detemined if some of them flossed all their lives.
Then compare the flossers and non-flossers.

Even if this 75-year long test proves that bad teeth do run in the family I'd respond with, "Then it's even more important that they floss so they may keep their teeth a bit longer."