Potty Training

[amc80]

B will be two in two weeks (how did that happen?). He has been going pee on the potty since we bought one when he was around 18 months. He doesn't go on his own, but he knows what it is and what it's for, so if I put him on it he will go. He will also go a couple of hours with a dry diaper. I always put him on the potty before bath time, and he will go, and then he will sit on it (on his own) after the bath and go more. He even pooped in the potty once (but that was a while ago). Recently, when I'm putting a clean diaper on him he wants to go sit on the potty. So I'm pretty sure he gets it.

We want to try to potty train him. I totally get that he's young (especially for a boy), but he seems to get it and he seems to have enough control over his body to where he is ready (since he can go on command and stay dry for a few hours at a time).

I think I'm going to train him over Labor Day weekend, since we will be home for three days. I've done some reading up and it seems like the basic concept is to have him either naked or in undies and put him on the potty every 20-30 minutes, all day long, and make a big deal out of it when he goes. He can have a diaper for naps and bed time. Is that basically it? Any tips would be appreciated!

Also, I realize he's on the young side (especially for a boy), so if it's a total fail we will just try again in 3-6 months. I know he understands the point of a potty, and, based on his ability to stay dry for a couple of hours, I think he's physically ready.

 

[baby monster]

Sounds like you got all your ducks in order. Good luck . We had a few starts and stops so managing expectations is a good idea.

 

[amc80]

Sounds like you got all your ducks in order. Good luck . We had a few starts and stops so managing expectations is a good idea.

Thanks I definitely agree about managing expectations. I'm sort of going into it with the "that would be really cool if this worked" mindset.

 

[ponder]

I tried what you are describing with DD#1 at exactly the same age, with the same signs of readiness. It went really well for the first two weeks, but she began to loose interest, so I pushed a little and she pushed back HARD. If I remember correctly the conversation ended with her screaming "I WANT MY DIAPER!". Fast forward 6 months and I take her to the MD because I think she has a UTI. The nurse hands me a specimen cup and points to the potty. I perch her up on the big potty and explain that she has to pee in the cup so the doctor knows what medicine to give her. While I'm thinking this is never going to work, she pees immediately and I don't get any in the cup. I mutter and probably curse and she looks at me and says "It's ok, mommy, there is more." she then proceeds to fill the cup. From that moment on I refused to ever stress about potty training ever again. She obviously knew what to do but wanted to do it on her terms. 3 months shy of her 3rd birthday she woke up one morning and said "Mommy, I want to wear panties." She was completely trained, poop and pee, within days.

DD#2 told me that she needed to go potty the week of her 2nd birthday. She was completely trained 6 months later.

DS drug grandma into the bathroom and banged on the potty until she put him on the pot. He immediately pooped. He was 15 months old. He pooped about once a week for a few weeks until the novelty wore off. At 20 months he discovered peeing on the potty and we were going ALL THE TIME for about 3 weeks. Then the novelty wore off. He will be 2.5 next month and since the beginning of the summer has been doing really well and this week we have had daily poops on the potty. Are we anywhere near trained? No, but I think we will definitely be done by Christmas.

I definitely have found that the biggest sign of readiness has been the "I do" attitude. I see the most progress with actual training when they start to want to do everything for themselves (dressing, undressing, putting on socks and shoes). Also, my kids don't ever get candy at home, but if you pee in the potty you get 1 M&M. If you poop you get 2, it's been a huge motivator.

 

[lliang_chi]

AMC, if you feel like B's ready then totally go for it. I agree potty training is more about managing your own expectations than anything else. Ethan was pee trained in 1 wk. He started going to daycare in underwear once he hit the 2 yo classroom. The poop took a good 5 months. I was getting frustrated, but then I just resigned myself to cleaning up poopy pull ups and underwear for the next year, but hey, at least he was peeing in the potty. Then all of a sudden he just got it. Now he's totally trainined and can tell me when he needs to go. I still have to remind him, especially if we're going to be out or on a car ride, but for the most part he just goes when he needs to go. He's still in pull ups for bedtime and 50% of naps.

 

[Puppmom]

I’ve been there recently (DS just turned 4 last week!). My advice – no matter what method you choose – is to relax, relax, relax. If you sense B is getting upset or the pressure is too much (oh, to be a toddler again when your biggest pressure is peeing on the pot!) then just take a step back. You will save yourself a lot of stress and frustration if you do. How do I know? Because I was uptight and stressed out and trying a billion different things to get DS to go on the potty without consistent success. He would pee on the potty then pee his pants 15 minutes later, he would be dry for a week then pee his pants daily for another. Once he was pee trained, he was too scared to poop on the potty and cried (like pathetic, have mercy on me cry) for a pull up when he had to poop. When I tried to encourage him instead of giving him the pull up, he started holding it which resulted in middle of the night poops (not cool!) then ultimately constipation. All of this happened even though I was gentle and kind and encouraging. He just wasn’t ready mentally. He was 3 years old at the time. I should caveat this by saying my DS is a sensitive boy and change is difficult for him so we’re learning how to navigate that. Consider B’s personality and what you think will work for him. For my DS, what worked after everything else didn’t was just not making a big deal out of it. He was getting stressed out by all of our cheerleading. Come on, who doesn’t like a good potty dance?

DS was potty trained fully by 3.5 years old and that’s pretty on par with his peers at school. We had his 4th birthday recently and he had 7 friends there. 3 of them were 3.5 years old and in pull ups – totally normal, verbal, social, agile toddlers.

Also, don’t be surprised if B is trained at school and not at home. In my experience, the routine is SO predictable at school that they don’t have accidents there.

 

[amc80]

I think he is ready. And I think he will really be ready in the next few weeks when we start training. If he has a poopy diaper and I change it, he won't let me put a new diaper on until he goes pee on his potty. He will actually say "mama, stop!" as I put on the diaper, then get up and run to the bathroom. He also hold quite a bit of pee in the mornings. His diaper will be wet, but he will go to the potty and pee out more. The only way I think he wouldn't be ready is if he wasn't physically able to hold his pee, but I really think he is. Oh, and then there's the whole toddler attitude thing, as well. You never know how that will go!

We did buy some undies for him. He saw them and put a pair on (almost by himself, he needed some help pulling them over his butt). He was so happy to be wearing them and threw a fit when it was time to put his diaper back on. I think it helps that the other kids at day care are all 3+ and potty trained.

ETA- Pupp- good advice. B is totally fine with change (we lucked out there!) and he already loves peeing in the potty. He understands the point of the potty, so it's just a matter of getting him to realize that ALL pee is supposed to go there. Poop should be interesting. He pooped in there once but I think it was by accident. Part of the problem is the potty is pretty small. In order for him to sit so that the pee makes it in, his butt is pretty high on the back of the seat. I think we need to get a seat that goes on the normal toilet that is a bit bigger.

Oh, and thank you for the reminder to relax! DH is usually better at that than I am

 

[Puppmom]

AMC, raising a sensitive boy ain’t easy! It does come with extra sweetness though! Luckily for me, DS2 is super laid back yet determined little guy. We struggled with the potty being small too so we ended up ditching it and letting DS pick out a stool and a toilet ring and we’ve had better luck…and less mess. He’s now tall enough to pee without the stool. Man, these boys pee everywhere!

One more thing…my DS loved pee targets. We never bought the official targets but did use cheerios.

 

[amc80]

AMC, raising a sensitive boy ain’t easy! It does come with extra sweetness though! Luckily for me, DS2 is super laid back yet determined little guy. We struggled with the potty being small too so we ended up ditching it and letting DS pick out a stool and a toilet ring and we’ve had better luck…and less mess. He’s now tall enough to pee without the stool. Man, these boys pee everywhere!

One more thing…my DS loved pee targets. We never bought the official targets but did use cheerios.

I think we will do that. If he's not angled just right on the potty the pee goes everywhere. It's fine if I'm right there to help him get situated, but obviously that won't work for the long term.

Funny, my mom used cheerios for my brother! Hmm, think they would work for DH?

 

[momhappy]

Yes, it sounds like your approach should work just fine (there are many different approaches - some work for some kids and some don't). My one piece of advice is that if it's not successful (either in the beginning or somewhere along the way), put the diaper back on and don't speak of it again for a while. All of my kids showed signs of readiness, but then had setbacks, so we backed off and tried again in 3-6 months. Forcing it can lead to potty issues that can become quite unpleasant. Good luck!

 

[amc80]

Yes, it sounds like your approach should work just fine (there are many different approaches - some work for some kids and some don't). My one piece of advice is that if it's not successful (either in the beginning or somewhere along the way), put the diaper back on and don't speak of it again for a while. All of my kids showed signs of readiness, but then had setbacks, so we backed off and tried again in 3-6 months. Forcing it can lead to potty issues that can become quite unpleasant. Good luck!

Thank you!

Here's a question- should we get him to pee standing up? Or sitting? He already goes sitting down, but I'm thinking standing up would add an element of fun. I'm not sure if he's too young to understand the concept of aiming...

 

[lliang_chi]

Not too young at all. In the beginning you can have him lean against the lid so he's already pointing into the bowl. Eventually he'll just want to stand an aim with his hips. Ethan's 2.5 now and he likes to "shoot around" to see where it goes. My problem is getting him to point his penis down when he's pooping. He doesn't like to use his finger so he just leans all the way over. I told DH, "YOU need to show him how to do this." So far... still waiting.

 

[amc80]

Not too young at all. In the beginning you can have him lean against the lid so he's already pointing into the bowl. Eventually he'll just want to stand an aim with his hips. Ethan's 2.5 now and he likes to "shoot around" to see where it goes. My problem is getting him to point his penis down when he's pooping. He doesn't like to use his finger so he just leans all the way over. I told DH, "YOU need to show him how to do this." So far... still waiting.

OK, cool. B is fascinated when DH pees, he stands there and stares. So hopefully the "I want to be like daddy" thing will kick in. I think the only way we will get him to poop is if we get a seat to put on the toilet- his potty is just too small. Any recommendations? Or are they all pretty much the same?

I had to show him how to use his finger to keep it down just the other night. It kept popping over the front guard thing. He likes any opportunity to touch himself, so he didn't mind

 

[lliang_chi]

I used to hold his penis down when he pooped, but then he *only* wanted me to do it I've decided to place this FIRMLY in DH's responsibility to show E how to point his penis into the toilet.

We used this potty seat from Home Depot: http://www.homedepot.com/p/BEMIS-NextStep-Elongated-Closed-Front-Toilet-Seat-in-White-1583SLOW-000/202721314

Really easy to install and cost the same as a reducer seat. I got it mostly because I wanted it the same day and didn't want to wait for Prime shipping.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

ladies, just curious about what kind of training potty you're using. I have 2 Baby Bjorn potty chairs (one for K's bathroom and one for the downstairs bathroom). I also bought a seat insert for the regular toilet in K's bathroom because she had more interest in going on the big potty. But we don't use either yet. Not sure if you're supposed to just use one or the other.

K is nowhere near close to potty training at 2.5 (late talker = late potty trainer). I'm not pushing it at all, but should probably start reading up on it. I consider myself a pretty uptight person--I think this is the one thing where my attitude has been "eh, she'll let me know when she's ready".

 

[lliang_chi]

NEL, we're space constrained so we never got a small potty seat. I think it's up to the kid what they feel most comfortable with. There's some kids that like to pee in the toilet and poop in the potty seat or visa versa. We just never gave Ethan the choice and he's only known the big potty.

I think it's best to take a relaxed attitude with it. That or just accept there will be accidents and move on to just cleaning them up. My thinking was, there's always a silver lining. Instead of focusing on the fact that he wasn't pooping in the potty, I reminded myself that E was pee trained. When he had a day of 4 accidents, I reminded myself he went the WHOLE WEEK prior without any. Sometimes they will regress and you just have to roll with it. Once I learned to just accept cleaning poopy underwear/pull ups, I took a more relaxed attitude to the whole thing.

 

[amc80]

NEL, we have this one:

http://www.target.com/p/arm-hammer-by-munchkin-3-in-1-potty-seat/-/A-13822531?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=google_pla_df&LNM=13822531&CPNG=Baby&kpid=13822531&LID=9pgs&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=13822531&kpid=13822531&gclid=CKn9uvD_gcACFUMLMgodCFIAiA

I like it because 1) it holds wipes, 2) it holds an Arm & Hammer deodorizer thing, and 3) with the lid down, it doubles as a step stool.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Perfect! Thanks ladies!

LC, you're so good about staying optimistic. I find myself not always knowing how to react for fear of making K anxious about pottying, haha. The other day she took off her clothes about a half of an hour before her bath, so I just let her run around naked. I told her if she needed to potty, she could use her potty in her bathroom. About 10 minutes later she started peeing on the rug and I didn't want to yell or anything, so I just went over and picked her up and put her on her potty, haha. You know, like if you had a dog and caught him peeing--you'd pick him up and rush him to the yard. Apparently all of my dog training is just translating to my human child. From now on, I think i'm limiting naked time

 

[pancake]

S is 2 1/2 now and we did the bulk of her toilet training just after Christmas last year (she was 22 months). Basically she went pantsless for 4 or 5 days at home and then for weeks and weeks after that she was pantsless whenever at home. We used sticker charts as a rewards system. She got the hang of things very quickly (we just rushed her to the toilet when she started to pee and after 3 days it seemed to just click) but since then there have been the usual ups and downs - pushing the limits as to how long she could wait before going, being scared of public toilets, etc etc, mixed in with good weeks and months as well. Overall she has been wearing nappies only for naps and overnight for the last 6 months and whilst we used pull-up training pants (disposables) when going out for a while, particularly when she went through a stage of intense fear of public toilets (actually of the hand dryers, lol).

In the last month she finally has it properly down pat and whilst we still need to take her to the toilet when we're out (just because she has some residual reticence about public toilets), generally she is now super-reliable at telling us when she needs to go, and she gives us enough notice to give us time to get her to the toilet. She has stopped using the potty and is now using a toilet set on the "big toilet" (which goes nicely with her current "I'm a big girl and I can do it myself!" obsession).

My advice would be to go cold turkey - NEL rushing K to the potty when she starts to pee is exactly how we did it, it builds the association between the urge to go and the concept of sitting on the potty! - as the constant reinforcement makes it much easier for them to "get" it.

Also, I am extremely glad that we will be nowhere near the situation of having 2 kids in (cloth) nappies by the time #2 arrives in the next month or so, haha!

ETA: Oh and accidents are frustrating (ESPECIALLY when they've gone for weeks without one and then they suddenly seem to regress and have them all the time - S was trained for poos within a week of starting TT and then abruptly a few months ago went through 2 weeks where EVERY poo was in her undies, UGH) but you just need to clean up, quickly reinforce, "Where do we do wees/poos?", and move on. Really important not to give negative reinforcement/scolding in that situation.

 

[amc80]

Well, this past weekend was potty training weekend. We had mixed success. I tried letting him be naked and having undies on. The naked thing worked much better. If he had undies on, he'd pee and then say "mama, wet, mess!" while playing with his toys. So, naked it was. I'd put him on the potty every 20-30 minutes and he would usually pee just fine. We loosened up on the 20/30 minute thing a bit and I would just randomly ask him if he had to pee, and he would walk over to the potty and go. The problem is he doesn't do this on his own. I'm not sure if that's an age thing or what. I think our plan is to keep doing what we are doing (asking him throughout the day if he needs to pee), but do another big push in a few months.

I will say that yesterday when he woke up (in our bed, different issue there) he said "I pee pee" and then we went to his potty and he peed. So I think he's pretty close, just not quite there.

 

[baby monster]

I'd say that you got pretty far in 3 days, amc80. Congrats! Like any new skill, it takes reminders and reinforcement to fully set in. It took DS about 3 months to get to the point where he no longer needed reminders to use the potty so be patient.

 

[amc80]

I'd say that you got pretty far in 3 days, amc80. Congrats! Like any new skill, it takes reminders and reinforcement to fully set in. It took DS about 3 months to get to the point where he no longer needed reminders to use the potty so be patient.

Ahhh, so it's normal? Okay, good. We will just keep doing what we are doing. How young was your son when you started training? B just turned two last month, so my expectations were fairly low.

 

[baby monster]

Totally normal. We started at 2y3mos and he had #1 down with no accidents or reminders by 2.5.

 

[amc80]

Totally normal. We started at 2y3mos and he had #1 down with no accidents or reminders by 2.5.

Great, thank you!

 

[amc80]

Well, I think the little guy took in more than we gave him credit for. His diaper is usually changed around 4:30 at day care. At 6, I had him sit on the potty and his diaper was dry. He peed a bunch. Same thing before back at 7:30. Then, this morning, his diaper was almost dry (usually his morning diaper is super saturated), and he peed an incredible amount of pee in the potty (I am starting to think his insides are completely comprised of stomach and bladder).

 

[baby monster]

That's very impressive, amc! He's doing great.

 

[amc80]

That's very impressive, amc! He's doing great.

I'm hoping it wasn't a fluke!