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Calling iLander!

yennyfire

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I wanted to thank you so much for your suggestions about dinner time. I have to tell you, that was the most pleasant dinner we've had in...well, maybe forever (if you don't count the nights I serve pizza!)!!

I made the recipe I had planned to (grilled chicken) along with grilled corn (which she loves), grilled mushrooms and fresh mixed fruit. I served family style at the table (as opposed to making their plates at the counter and bringing it to them at the table) and told them that they could take what they wanted on their plate and that they had to finish it, so to take a little and if you like it, you can take more. DD took one tiny piece of chicken (they were cubes that were grilled on skewers), corn and fruit. She ate what was on her plate and then asked if she could have a piece of cheese. I said "yes". DS loved the chicken and took 4 servings!! He's typically a decent eater, so I wasn't hugely surprised. He also ate the rest of the meal.

After they finished, I told them the choices for dessert (cookies or ice cream) and DD's eyes got big and I said "you ate what was on your plate, so you may have dessert". I think she was shocked! :bigsmile:

DH and I actually carried on a conversation that included them and didn't consist of "C'mon, eat another bite of....." or "I just set the timer. When it rings, dinner is over"....it really was amazing!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you! I'm looking forward to this new meal time peace & tranquility!
 

LaraOnline

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Wow maybe I should try that as well! :clap:
Glad it worked out so well!
 

yennyfire

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I'd say go for it. If it doesn't work, at least you tried.
 

iLander

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YAY!!!!
:appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:

I'm thrilled to hear this, Yenny! That is so great! :D

Now you guys can spend your time talking about your day, and growing closer as a family. :clap:

She might test you in the future, but I used to remember this saying when my kids where being a pain "To learn to fill the cup, first you pour too much, and then you pour too little." In others words, mistakes are to be expected, that's what learning is.

Last night I got to thinking about this thread [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/this-girl-needs-a-cookie.201069/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/this-girl-needs-a-cookie.201069/[/URL] and all the women that responded about being naturally thin, regardless of what they ate. I wonder if their parents worried about feeding them when they were little? I would revive that thread to ask, but I think it got some people angry and it's best left alone. But maybe there's something in there that could give you insight about your daughter?

Regardless, I'm glad she got the protein from the chicken and the cheese, and you got peace and quiet. :)

And thanks for thanking me, that's really nice of you and you made me feel terrific. =)
 

yennyfire

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You gave our family a gift iLander and I am so appreciative. You definitely did a good deed! I like the quote too...you are so right! Mistakes are a natural part of growth. I'm sure she will test me many, many times (she is very strong willed, but I think that will serve her well in the future as long as we help her channel it and understand that compromise is a part of life).

I remember that thread. Your comment made a lightbulb go off for me. I have an eating disorder and as a child, had no control over what I ate. We weren't allowed sweets at all and as soon as I went to college, I started bingeing/purging. It took years to break the cycle. While my kids get plenty of sweets, I now see that I was being as controlling as my Mom! I hope that I haven't already caused damage to my DD and that this new approach will help her have healthy habits in the future!
 

iLander

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yennyfire|1406216338|3719810 said:
You gave our family a gift iLander and I am so appreciative. You definitely did a good deed! I like the quote too...you are so right! Mistakes are a natural part of growth. I'm sure she will test me many, many times (she is very strong willed, but I think that will serve her well in the future as long as we help her channel it and understand that compromise is a part of life).

I remember that thread. Your comment made a lightbulb go off for me. I have an eating disorder and as a child, had no control over what I ate. We weren't allowed sweets at all and as soon as I went to college, I started bingeing/purging. It took years to break the cycle. While my kids get plenty of sweets, I now see that I was being as controlling as my Mom! I hope that I haven't already caused damage to my DD and that this new approach will help her have healthy habits in the future!

And I did the SAME thing! I made dinner a battleground with my son, early on, just like my grandparents did with me. I'm so glad I stopped! It's amazing how you repeat what your parents did, without even thinking. :rolleyes:

She'll be fine, strong willed women do well, and I'm glad you'll help her find balance. You're a great mom, Yennyfire! :appl:
 

yennyfire

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iLander|1406220676|3719849 said:
yennyfire|1406216338|3719810 said:
You gave our family a gift iLander and I am so appreciative. You definitely did a good deed! I like the quote too...you are so right! Mistakes are a natural part of growth. I'm sure she will test me many, many times (she is very strong willed, but I think that will serve her well in the future as long as we help her channel it and understand that compromise is a part of life).

I remember that thread. Your comment made a lightbulb go off for me. I have an eating disorder and as a child, had no control over what I ate. We weren't allowed sweets at all and as soon as I went to college, I started bingeing/purging. It took years to break the cycle. While my kids get plenty of sweets, I now see that I was being as controlling as my Mom! I hope that I haven't already caused damage to my DD and that this new approach will help her have healthy habits in the future!

And I did the SAME thing! I made dinner a battleground with my son, early on, just like my grandparents did with me. I'm so glad I stopped! It's amazing how you repeat what your parents did, without even thinking. :rolleyes:

She'll be fine, strong willed women do well, and I'm glad you'll help her find balance. You're a great mom, Yennyfire! :appl:

Aww, thanks iLander! Nice to hear that I'm doing a decent job so far! :pray:
 

iLander

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Hi Yenny,

It's been a few days, how's it going?
 

yennyfire

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You are so sweet to check iLander! It's going great! Not that DD eats every meal, but there is no emotion tied to it anymore. She takes what she wants on her plate and if she doesn't like it, she gets a piece of cheese or a spoon of peanut butter. Tonight, the kids cooked the meal (cut the veggies, made the sauce etc.) and STILL neither of them liked it, lol! Regardless, meals have been so much more pleasant it's amazing!! You really have changed our lives as I have dreaded dinner time for years. Thank you so very, very much!!
 

missy

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Yay!!! So glad iLander's wise advice is working so well for you Yenny! I love PS not just for the magnificent jewels PSers happily share but for the hard earned knowledge they so generously share too! :appl: :appl: :appl:
 

yennyfire

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missy|1406634399|3722440 said:
Yay!!! So glad iLander's wise advice is working so well for you Yenny! I love PS not just for the magnificent jewels PSers happily share but for the hard earned knowledge they so generously share too! :appl: :appl: :appl:
:angel: Amen Missy! How are you feeling?
 
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