Child's Birthday Party RSVP

[Puppmom]

I did put my phone number and email address on the invite so hopefully helps. It's got me wondering what people did before phones and email. Now that's a hassle! Texting or emailing a single sentence - not so much!

 

[zoebartlett]

Kenny, I don't mean to address this to you specifically, but since you brought it up (and I hadn't thought of your take on it)...

To be honest, I'm kind of surprised people don't know whether to reply to an RSVP. It means "respond please" or "please reply." I can see forgetting I guess, but it seems very rude to not reply at all.

It would really bug me to plan for a large group just in case, when you've only gotten, say, 5 "yes" replies. I'd still do it because I wouldn't want to run out, but still, I'd be ticked.

Puppmom, let us know how it goes! Happy birthday to N!

 

[monarch64]

I did put my phone number and email address on the invite so hopefully helps. It's got me wondering what people did before phones and email. Now that's a hassle! Texting or emailing a single sentence - not so much!

Wow, you're totally right. I remember my mom organizing birthday parties. It was all done by landline phone and actually talking to people. Maybe she sent out mailed invites for the years 6-11. I can't remember. I do remember she hosted some b-day parties for kids whose homes weren't large enough to handle 15+ kids. Sometimes I wish my mom was on PS so she could answer questions like these! Anyway, I hope everything works out. I stick by my "plan for 20 plus parents, send leftovers home with them" plan, though. Best of luck, Puppmom.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Errr...I think MOST people know what RSVP means or at least know how to work google if they don't.

I got in "trouble" once for not RSVPing to a verbal b-day invitation. I was expecting a written one or at least an email and figured the mom was just being polite or making conversation with me. Nope, I guess she was expecting my child to go and complained about me to a friend about not RSVPing. I didn't even know the details. People are odd.

It is a rule to invite the whole class or all the girls or all the boys in DD's school.

 

[zoebartlett]

Yeah, at the schools I've worked in, it's been a rule to either invite everyone in the class or take care of invitations from home.

Tacori, how is T? I was just thinking of you guys and our time in NC the other day, actually.

 

[canuk-gal]

I did put my phone number and email address on the invite so hopefully helps. It's got me wondering what people did before phones and email. Now that's a hassle! Texting or emailing a single sentence - not so much!

Plan for the most--I'd rather be over by 5 than short by the same number. And as someone else already mentioned--if you are over--who doesn't like to take home CAKE????

Good luck--Sharon

 

[JanesJewels]

Kenny - I'm guessing that your dad also wouldn't have responded to an invite which said "Carriages at midnight" - which just means the party's over at midnight so sling your hook and go home!

And what about dress codes? Some invites say things like "Lounge suits" or "Morning suits" or "Tails".

The mind boggles with possibilities that could have had your dad in fits!

ETA: What about this one? Bet he would have loved this!


Mr and Mrs Highly Thought-Of request the pleasure of the company of

Master Kenny Pricescope and his Papa during an

At Home for Miss Highly Thought-Of

on x/x/xx


RSVP Carriages at Midnight
Dress code: Men, Morning suits
Ladies: Full-length and Fabulous

 

[Scarlett1]

Sorry this is going to be off topic and not at all directed at the op but I just don't get the culture of inviting a whole class to a child's birthday party. I am an infants teacher myself, equivelant of kindergarten here, and it is also the done thing in my school to invite the whole class. However in my case I feel it is not done out of kindness or with a view not to hurt children's feelings (that is left to play dates, but that is another matter) but as it is the done thing, keeping up appearances. Firstly it is a huge responsibility to have 20-30 children in your home. Most of the families in my school opt for play-centre parties which cost on average €15 per child, and that's not including party bags! This puts huge financial pressure on families. Secondly, one child receiving 20 plus birthday presents is obscene! How are they to have true value or appreciation for anything and it also puts added pressure on you as to how you are going to "beat this" for next year. Children are now growing up expecting huge birthdays and lots of presents, what if one year you can't have the big party, what then? In terms of leaving children out, the isolated child isn't suddenly going to be included by attending an all class party, in fact it highlights the isolation more and is extremely heartbreaking for any parent to see firsthand that their child is on the perifory and whole class parties make this very obvious. Luckily in my ds's school it is a rule that no party invitations can be given out in school and as a result parties are smaller. I go all out for my own kids parties, theming, games, etc but I only ever invite 5 max. My dd and ds have never asked why they were not invited to a kids party, but if they did, I would explain why. I think smaller parties are more special and intimate and actually suit a lot of children better, however this is only my opinion.
I agree that seeing a child not get an invitation is soul distroying and I do not allow parents or children to hand out invites in class for this reason. I also know it is hard as a first time parent knowing who to invite. I usually suggest inviting the children at his group as a start (4-5 children.
I am very sorry to the op for this rant, but this has been a sore point with me for a long time.
As regards to RSVP, yes a reminder is an excellent idea, drives me nuts when people don't reply so I always send a friendly reminder

 

[azstonie]

Yeah, at the schools I've worked in, it's been a rule to either invite everyone in the class or take care of invitations from home.

Tacori, how is T? I was just thinking of you guys and our time in NC the other day, actually.

Same for when I was teaching and I further reinforced that with the parents: 0 tolerance in my room if not everyone invited. If not inviting everyone, no invites passed out on school grounds. I.Will.Enforce.

BTW, my favorite superintendent of schools was the one who decreed: No gifts to teachers or other staff. We are professionals, we give 100% to our students and require no gifts in return.

There were lots of students whose parents either did not have the means or the notion to give teachers gifts and those children were pretty upset come Christmastime when the other kids/parents were bringing in the gifts.

I enjoyed not spending Christmas vacay writing out thank you notes, to be honest.

 

[arkieb1]

I agree with both sides, no invitations in front of other students that is not fair on any that get left out. But having to invite the whole class particularly if your child goes to a school where they have mixed classes is not always great in reality. Having behavioural kids at a party where their parents just drop them off and don't bother to stay can be highly dangerous. For example I invited half of my sons class to a party at our house a couple of years ago, including one little boy who I know the Mum so I felt obligated to invite her son. He has behavioural issues and almost broke the arm of another little boy. We have a pool here and had a jumping castle so if you have out of control kids whose parents do not stay and watch them then it can be just plain dangerous to have over a certain number of kids. I spent the entire party screaming at him to get off and stop hitting other children. That was simply not cool.

 

[azstonie]

No, that is not cool, and you brought up one of the reasons I thought would be valid for NOT inviting a child to a b-day party.

I'm amazed parents will HAVE birthday parties, when I taught, so many children had food-related allergies, health issues, restrictions, you name it. I'm surprised you can find a single thing to serve at a birthday party now. Then there are the drop and run parents. Its the same for any school function, its always the same fab moms and dads who help and then same drop and run parents all.year.long.

 

[Puppmom]

Hey, all! Mini social experiment concluded. A little recap - I put the follow up invites in mail slots on Wednesday morning. I put a note saying to call, email or text me or just write on the invite whether or not the child would be attending and put it in DS’s mail slot (easy, right?). Prior to the follow up, I had 5 RSVPs (of 20). On Wednesday, I got one more yes then two more on Friday. I also received two last minute “I’m so sorry” phone calls just an hour or two before the party. One yes and one no. So, of the children who were invited, 50% responded. The good news is that no one showed up without letting me know so I sent the extra goodies home with my older nephews (who were thrilled!). As clear as I thought I was, it seems most people thought they should only let me know if their child WAS coming…or they lost the invitation, were too lazy to respond???

I was a little anxious before the start that we would have kids show up that I wasn’t prepared for but luckily, it was at my house and I was not obliged to give anyone a head count. The last minute prep kept me too distracted to really think about it. I had no idea that planning a simple back yard party for a 4 year old could be so complicated. Live and learn!

We had a superhero themed party. We blasted Batman with water cannons, soaked the joker with water balloons, had a Hulk bean bag toss, Spiderman balloon drop and jumped around in the bounce house. DS and his friends had a great time. He was so giddy the morning of that he talked non-stop about it. As we moved through the setup to-do list, I heard “Mommy, do you know what my favorite part of my birthday is? Setting up decorations!”, “Mommy, do you know what my favorite part of my birthday is? Filling water balloons!”, “Mommy, do you know what my favorite part of my birthday is? Putting balloons outside!”…you get the point. He’s still on cloud nine so it was all worth it!

Back to reality…and work. I’m so tired from the party and playing with “Awesome City Jail” (Gotham City Jail) for about 5 hours yesterday!

 

[movie zombie]

your son had an amazing time!
it was a joy to read your follow up report.

 

[Laila619]

Great that N had a nice birthday party, pupp!

Considering some people don't even bother to mail in the RSVP card for something as formal and important as a wedding, nothing surprises me when it comes to this sort of thing.