Some prep questions before buying marquise ER

[CirqueDuMort]

This will be my third engagement ring. I wish I had known Pricescope sooner.

The first two were for my late wife, who died about two and a half years ago from breast cancer at 48, after 18 years together. I bought the first one in 1995, while very poor and living in NYC, from a Hoboken discounter for $850 including setting. It was a tiny little runt of a solitaire. I upgraded for her on our tenth anniversary, a .9 from BlueNile that presented large but was dull. I have both saved for our daughters. I didn't know much.

Fast forward, and I am hopelessly in love with an amazing woman. I'm a capable single dad with tons of friends and a great job. I didn't expect or need to fall in love, but life has it's own path. It just happened and I feel very, very fortunate to be indulged a second time in deep love.

I expect sometime early next year I will propose and I want to give her an elegant three-stone, marquise and ruby platinum ring something like this:

http://www.gemvara.com/jewelry/camille-ring/marquise-diamond-palladium-ring-with-ruby/fjfzt

She loves red, always with lipstick, and wears a lot of black. She's playful and smart, sexy but unfussy. She won't want a ring that's trendy or like any other her friends have, and will want something that generates envy but isn't pretentiously large. I'm aware of the Marquise history in the 80's and do not think she has any negative impressions about that, and she'll like that marquises are (sometimes) good bargains.

My budget is about $10k total. I'd like to emphasize diamond performance and nothing larger than 1.5ct. The setting should be fairly simple and elegant. The three stones are enough sizzle I think.

The date is still months away (for some personal and pragmatic reasons). I will be buying around November 15-February 1st so that I can propose within the 60 day return window. I'll look at James Allen, Whiteflash and GoodoldGold probably, although JA has an edge there. I will, if you are willing, enlist your help in choosing a diamond closer to the time.

I had a few questions in advance. I've been reading the forums a lot, and still have a few questions. Any answers appreciated.


1) That can be a weird time of year for inventory, yes? Will Marquise be affected? Should I buy closer to Nov 15 or Feb 1?
2) I understand color needs to be a little whiter in a marquise. Will florescence help that?
3) Will a whiter or more yellow color diamond go better with ruby side stones? I guess whiter maybe would create more contrast and be more pleasing? Or maybe the opposite, that you won't notice a more yellow stone because of the ruby?
3) How would florescence look with ruby side stones on a three-stone setting? I'm thinking it might look cool, but maybe weird. There are no pics anywhere like that. I think she might like fluorescence.
4) How do I pick the rubies? Can I ask for them to be a certain color? She would want them vivid and somewhat dark. Not pink.
5) How big should the rubies be for 1 ct? 1.5 ct?
6) She likes to wear gold and silver (but not together). Is rose gold a smart move? With the ruby and diamond (and maybe fluorescence), I'm worried that rose gold would make a franken-ring. So I'm leaning toward classic platinum. But I honestly think she might like it.
7) if you have any three-stone setting suggestions with clean lines, please suggest them! I have focused my attention on the stone more than the setting and I don't see a whole lot that looks better than the basic ones like that I linked above.

I have seen some of the most polite and articulate discussion on this board. Awesome community here. thanks

 

[Gypsy]

Read this person's thread. They are also searching for a marquise ring.

Please read what we posted for him regarding marquise.
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/rockytalky/marquise-quest-questions-on-e-ring-purchase-process-t203860.html']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/rockytalky/marquise-quest-questions-on-e-ring-purchase-process-t203860.html[/URL]

Here's a blurb to start you off:
Stick to one thread. It won't get too cluttered. And it will be easier for the people helping you to check in and see if you need anything.


Marquise are hard. So I see what you are saying. I'd stick to GOG, BGD, ERD and JA for marquise. You need pictures. And an ASET. And if you can get it a video. GOG is on break right now, I understand. And so are some other jewelers.

We can also look for good marquise for you at other vendor.

The entire purpose of faceting a diamond is to reflect light.
How well or how poorly a diamond does this determines how beautiful it is.
How well a diamond performs is determined by the angles and cutting. This is why we say cut is king. With fancies though (anything other than a round brilliant), that is a little complicated. But no other factor: not color, not clarity has as much of an impact on the appearance of a diamond as its cut.

There really is no other way to determine if you have a good Marquise cut is to see images of the stones, and then you need is a way to check actual light performance of your actual stone.

That's what an ASET image does. http://www.highperformancediamonds.com/index.php?page=education-performance Please read.
And ASET shows you how and wear your diamond is reflecting light, how well it is going at it, and where you are losing light return That is why you won't see us recommending vendors like Blue Nile, as they do not provide images or ASET images for their diamonds. James Allen and Good Old Gold do this. So do Brian Gavin, B2C and Whiteflash and High Performance Diamonds. ERD does too, for stones they source for you.


Keep in mind that marquise are especially hard to shop for because so many have bowties. So finding a bright, well cut marquise is a herculean task at times if the stock at vendors is poor.


If you don't know what a bowtie is let us know.

Also you must buy the setting AFTER the marquise.

So yes, let's focus on finding you a marquise, then we'll worry about settings. The difference is really 100 bucks setting fee. And when you get your insurance, before setting or after, if you use a third party jeweler or the same jeweler as where you bought your stone.

 

[Gypsy]

Here's some additional advice to you regarding your marquise purchase. Finding a good marquise can take A LOT of time. I know you say you want to buy in November... But would advise you to start working with a vendor at least 6 weeks before the EARLIEST date you want to buy.

Since you DO have the time. I suggest you start SERIOUSLY looking now. If you don't find anything, that gives you lots of time. But if you DO find 'the one' buy it.



I ALSO think you should consider OVALS. WHY? There are a lot more good ovals than marquise out there. The demand for them right now is starting to result in some lovely ovals being cut. They are ALSO spready like marquise. And are also very well priced per carat.

AND they aren't as risky. Everything I've stated about shopping for marquise is true of ovals. They have bowties, and also are the dickens to shop for BUT they also don't have sharp FRAGILE points, which means they don't show color as readily. AND they are less prone to chipping.

PLUS they look great with ruby pear sidestones.

 

[Gypsy]

1) That can be a weird time of year for inventory, yes? Will Marquise be affected? Should I buy closer to Nov 15 or Feb 1? It only takes ONE right stone. I do think expanding your selection to ovals AND marquise is best. Work with a good vendor. If you don't need give it to her during the return period, then you can buy as far in advance as you need.
2) I understand color needs to be a little whiter in a marquise. Will florescence help that? It can. But marquise show color at the points. If you don't know that she LOVES marquise, I highly suggest considering ovals as they do not show color as well as marquise do (no tips) and are also not prone to chipping the way marquise are.
3) Will a whiter or more yellow color diamond go better with ruby side stones? I guess whiter maybe would create more contrast and be more pleasing? Or maybe the opposite, that you won't notice a more yellow stone because of the ruby? If you stick to G or better with a marquise and I or better in a very well cut oval, you will be fine with red sides
3) How would florescence look with ruby side stones on a three-stone setting? I'm thinking it might look cool, but maybe weird. There are no pics anywhere like that. I think she might like fluorescence. As long as it is not very strong fluorescence you will be fine. DO NOT go and make fluorescence a requirement though. That's like taking an already hard task-- finding a nice fancy-- and making it impossible. Just tell the vendor you are okay with a stone that has it as long as the stone is not overblue or hazy
4) How do I pick the rubies? Can I ask for them to be a certain color? She would want them vivid and somewhat dark. Not pink.
5) How big should the rubies be for 1 ct? 1.5 ct? If you want 100% natural bright blood red rubies, you are going to blow your whole budget AND MORE on that. High quality rubies are MUCH more expensive than diamonds. So you are probably going to be looking at some treatment for the rubies. Rubies are hard, so they are a good choice for wear. There are some treatments you should avoid, and there are MANY posters on PS, that when it is time for you to find rubies can help you with that. Garnets are more affordable and much easier to get in that darker red colors, but they are softer. Still, they might be an option.
6) She likes to wear gold and silver (but not together). Is rose gold a smart move? With the ruby and diamond (and maybe fluorescence), I'm worried that rose gold would make a franken-ring. So I'm leaning toward classic platinum. But I honestly think she might like it. Rose gold is trendy. And a lot of people feel pink and red clash. So I think that's not a good choice. I like the idea of platinum, or just a nice alloy of white gold for the ring you are proposing. But if you want to do a two tone ring, then I think a platinum head for the center stone and a yellow gold head for the rubies and then either a platinum or yellow gold shank would be a nice choice.
7) if you have any three-stone setting suggestions with clean lines, please suggest them! I have focused my attention on the stone more than the setting and I don't see a whole lot that looks better than the basic ones like that I linked above.

My favorite setting for a three stone


Also just as a note. Please do NOT tell ANY woman, that you picked ANY diamond because it was a good bargain. If you get her a marquise don't tell her you picked the stone shape based on cost per carat. That's just a bad idea. Even woman who are bargain shoppers want to feel that they were worth the extra expense of something really special for their engagement ring.

I HIGHLY recommend this setting by BGD. They can make it for your ring. And unlike most settings for three stones, this one will allow a flush fit STRAIGHT wedding band next to it.


Alternately something like this in profile:

 

[CirqueDuMort]

Read this person's thread. They are also searching for a marquise ring.

Please read what we posted for him regarding marquise.
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/rockytalky/marquise-quest-questions-on-e-ring-purchase-process-t203860.html']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/rockytalky/marquise-quest-questions-on-e-ring-purchase-process-t203860.html[/URL]

Yes, already read in entirety, as well as just about any post that had marquise in it. Thank you.

I ALSO think you should consider OVALS. WHY? There are a lot more good ovals than marquise out there. The demand for them right now is starting to result in some lovely ovals being cut. They are ALSO spready like marquise. And are also very well priced per carat.

It can. But marquise show color at the points. If you don't know that she LOVES marquise, I highly suggest considering ovals as they do not show color as well as marquise do (no tips) and are also not prone to chipping the way marquise are.

Hmm, I was not expecting that. I'd love to hear from some of the marquise lovers. I'd have to find a narrow one I guess. I'm pretty confident in my ability to pick for her. I regularly buy her clothes, shoes, jewelry and handbags. But I admit I'm intrigued by the oval...

1) That can be a weird time of year for inventory, yes? Will Marquise be affected? Should I buy closer to Nov 15 or Feb 1? It only takes ONE right stone. I do think expanding your selection to ovals AND marquise is best. Work with a good vendor. If you don't need give it to her during the return period, then you can buy as far in advance as you need.

But I might need to give it during the return period. I definitely want her to have the option. But I realize I can't have it both ways. I can start looking anyway, and hope it doesn't get snatched up.

Also just as a note. Please do NOT tell ANY woman, that you picked ANY diamond because it was a good bargain. If you get her a marquise don't tell her you picked the stone shape based on cost per carat. That's just a bad idea. Even woman who are bargain shoppers want to feel that they were worth the extra expense of something really special for their engagement ring.

Ha, I wasn't saying I would do that! But I get your point completely. And just for play, I don't think anyone wants to hear that their stone was a bad deal either, right?

And unlike most settings for three stones, this one will allow a flush fit STRAIGHT wedding band next to it.

What does this mean exactly?

And thank you so much for your time. You are clearly making a lot of men and women happy with your advice.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Welcome. It is essential that this ring be a surprise? Can she choose her own gem shape and setting?

cheers--Sharon

 

[pandabee]

And unlike most settings for three stones, this one will allow a flush fit STRAIGHT wedding band next to it.

What does this mean exactly?

And thank you so much for your time. You are clearly making a lot of men and women happy with your advice.

It means that a wedding band will sit right up next to the engagement ring, without a "gap" in between the two rings.

 

[CirqueDuMort]

HI:

Welcome. It is essential that this ring be a surprise? Can she choose her own gem shape and setting?

cheers--Sharon

Well, the proposal will be a surprise, yes. And I'd like to choose and have a ring ready, but if she wants to return it and pick her own I'm fine with that.

I think she won't though.

 

[TC1987]

I think marquise or any fancy is risky. Mature women usually have defined a few likes / dislikes / preferences regarding jewelry. And different shapes of diamonds and different faceting patterns reflect light differently. I don't think "fire," I think "brilliance" (white light) when someone says marquise, because I have never personally seen a marquise that had a good balance between brilliance and fire. I am not saying they don't exist, but they are not commonly seen. I like a wider and shorter marquise, not the 2:1 ration.

There are women on here who owned a modern hearts & arrows RB and then sold it in favor of the chunky facets of an August Vintage or Old European Cut. There are women who want a cushion and not a round. I loved the colored gem sidestones in the mid '90s and had them on my ring, but I would not pick that same style now. Europe seemed to use a lot of yellow gold and colored sides with diamonds, so I'd hunt some European bridal magazines or web sites if I were pursuing the ruby sides, though.

Surprising a woman with an unusual or unconventional ring is not something I'd recommend. I'd never want to be "surprised," unless it's with the perfect ring that I'd picked out for myself. An engagement ring is very personal, since it's going to be worn every day. I know a couple of women who weren't in love with theirs and they just quit wearing them as soon as they could replace it with a wedding band. Those e-rings were just money wasted. Sorry to be Debby Downer, but getting engaged as an adult is different from getting engaged at 18-22.

 

[lioness]

I just want to tell you OP that your story made me cry from grief and joy. I'm so happy that you have found love again!

 

[drk14]

I'd like to emphasize diamond performance

If you're not already aware, it is much harder to get good performance out of a marquise; because of the pavillion angles will always be too shallow along the N-S axis, you are sacrificing some optical performance with this shape of diamond. So I would echo the points made by TC1987: unless your intended has explicitly expressed a preference for the marquise cut, you're taking a bit of a risk that she may have preferred a more "sparkly" stone.

Then again, you should take my advice with a large grain of salt because (1) I'm a newbie here, too; (2) I may just be trying to throw you off track to keep all the good marquises for myself!

In any case, welcome to PS, it's an awesome community and an invaluable resource. And happy hunting!

 

[EvangelineG]

I'm a newb too, and not an expert, so I can only give you my opinion on aesthetics.
I couldn't agree more with Gypsy on the rose gold. I love, love, love rose gold, but definitely not with a true red gemstone. I think you could definitely get in the "franken-ring" or cocktail/right hand ring rather than engagement ring territory with a yellow diamond, rose gold and red gemstones.The contrast of a crisp white stone against ruby, with platinum or white gold would be much more elegant and appealing IMHO.

I also think ovals are a fantastic choice if you are not stuck on marquise, and if she hasn't expressed a definite preference for marquise cuts, then I would absolutely go with an oval.

Red spinel may be a good option for side stones if ruby is unattainable within your budget. Or a three stone diamond ring with ruby accents of some sort. They will know all about that on the coloured stone section of this forum though, don't listen to me.

 

[JulieN]

I would also consider an oval, I think it would like nice with pear-shaped sides.

 

[derbygal]

This is a pic of my favorite oval with pear sides, just so you can see what it might look like.

 

[CirqueDuMort]

Thanks all. I'm definitely considering the oval, although I don't think it captures her flair as well. I'm not sure that's where I'll end up.

And somehow I wasn't clear, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and take a risk buying something unusual, and have her return it. That's preferable to something safer. It's just the way we are.

But that does mean I can't buy till my window of opportunity starts in November, because I have to stay within the 60 day return policy.

 

[MMtwo]

No idea if this is of any interest, but old cuts are VERY unique and have a different type of sparkle and fire compared to the newer cuts. Not for everyone, certainly, but as you look at all your options, a one of a kind older diamond may be worth consideration. It would sparkle differently than the other diamonds at the table. Pricing is often a little less, too. She may (or may not) appreciate the one of a kind historic old cut. I would agree with the others that I would specifically ask about a marquise. Some women REALLY dislike that cut. Another option would be a pear.

Grace even gets old cut marquise in sometimes (stock is always coming and going). The faceting is different in these older cuts. I rather love them, but I love old cuts. She has a couple of older cut marquise on the page. http://www.jewelsbygrace.com/loose-diamonds.html?cat=25 Following the links - you can often watch videos.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

If you have a setting custom made for your stones, it likely cannot be returned. I will agree with the others that the marquise is one of THE most dangerous shapes to buy as a surprise because many people hate them. I vastly prefer an oval or round with pear sides.

You think you know her, but seriously, jewelry taste is very personal. No one really knows what another person loves unless they have said what they love. I have been married over 30 years and it would be impossible for my husband to surprise me with a diamond ring that would be what I would choose. So thankfully, he is wonderful about letting me select what I like!

One more note, and someone possibly has already mentioned it. Side rubies can run higher than diamonds, just so you know. They need to be sourced from a trustworthy vendor who can assure you that the rubies have not be treated other than perhaps heat.

 

[MMtwo]

Agree with Diamondseeker2006 on the ruby treatment issues. Wink wrote a great article on some of the ruby treatment problems he ran into. https://www.pricescope.com/journal/lead-glass-ruby-nightmare-keeps-giving

I think marquise may come back in, but for a while at least, the marquise was as fashionable as a mullet. Some women still consider them as about as fashionable. Myself, I would LOVE a fat, old cut marquise, but I am old and ornery and am from the time of mullets. There is a strong love/hate component on this cut

I think your idea is wonderful. I think your story is wonderful too! She is a lucky lady to have a man who is so interested in giving her a special ring.

 

[Calliecake]

If you have a setting custom made for your stones, it likely cannot be returned. I will agree with the others that the marquise is one of THE most dangerous shapes to buy as a surprise because many people hate them. I vastly prefer an oval or round with pear sides.

You think you know her, but seriously, jewelry taste is very personal. No one really knows what another person loves unless they have said what they love. I have been married over 30 years and it would be impossible for my husband to surprise me with a diamond ring that would be what I would choose. So thankfully, he is wonderful about letting me select what I like!

One more note, and someone possibly has already mentioned it. Side rubies can run higher than diamonds, just so you know. They need to be sourced from a trustworthy vendor who can assure you that the rubies have not be treated other than perhaps heat.

Please, Please, listen to ALL of the advice diamondseeker has given above. You really need to know how she feels about marquis shaped stones before making a purchase. It truly is a stone people either love or hate. An oval shaped diamond is different enough that she will have a more unique shaped stone and they can be gorgeous! She will be wearing this everyday. You need to be sure she is in love with her ring.

 

[Gypsy]

A) I ALWAYS forget SPINELS! And they would be a FABULOUS choice for red sidestones. I HIGHLY suggest you start posting over here for red sidestones: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/forums/colored-stones.11/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/forums/colored-stones.11/[/URL] The ladies on the Colored stone forum will be able to help you get an idea of the budget you will need for the sidestones. Which will let you work backward to the budget for the setting and the center stone. If they find you good sidestones, SINCE those are so hard to find. BUY THEM NOW. And then you can work backward to the stone. Just make sure they aren't too big for say a 5x7 oval center stone. OKAY? So stick to stone that are proportionate for that size of center.

B) As diamondseeker explained a custom setting will NOT be returnable. So I really suggest you make sure she loves whatever it is you want to buy her. There are MANY ways to do this. Talk to her mother, sister, cousin, best friend-- have them sleuth for you. Have them send her pictures of rings some with marquise and some with ovals and some with rounds and even some with cushions and see what she favors. ALSO if she has a PINTEREST account A LOT of our guys have had great luck finding pictures of rings their lady's like and using that as the way to do research.

 

[CirqueDuMort]

I'm not sure why the setting has to be custom. JA has this which is pretty close to what I'm looking for, no?

http://www.jamesallen.com/engagemen...e-pear-shaped-ruby-engagement-ring-item-16285

Probably not great rubies. That's okay think.

I'm not going to get something she can't return. Not oval, nor marquise, nor round solitaire. I want to try to get her a ring she will love, but it's too much money not to let her pick if she wants to.

 

[Gypsy]

Ok. Then stick to JA for the center stone. Make sure they can modify that setting for a marquise or oval AND STILL HAVE IT BE FULLY RETURNABLE.

Again, I do recommend ovals.

 

[CirqueDuMort]

Ok. Then stick to JA for the center stone. Make sure they can modify that setting for a marquise or oval AND STILL HAVE IT BE FULLY RETURNABLE.

Again, I do recommend ovals.

Ha, that's clear! I wish Neil would give a little support for Marquise.

And I had already checked, JA does extend the same guarantee on three stone fancy cut rings, but there is an extra $150 charge.

 

[CirqueDuMort]

With a budget of 6k-8.5k, and wanting a D-H, marquise or oval eye-clean stone around 1.25, should I be looking at SI2 stones? at 40x magnification they all have serious inclusions but there are A LOT of them.

Having a lot of choices is good, but also overwhelming. I'm looking at JA first, although if I can't get what I want, I'll probably switch to GOG.

Thanks

 

[drk14]

With a budget of 6k-8.5k, and wanting a D-H, marquise or oval eye-clean stone around 1.25, should I be looking at SI2 stones?

For marquise (as well as other fancy cuts that have sharp corners), the conventional wisdom is that the color gets "concentrated" (i.e., more noticable) at the sharp points. Thus, unless, you're going for a "warmer" tinted look in the diamond (some people do prefer that, or at least don't mind ot), you may wish to restrict yourself to the higher colors. Especially since the juxtaposition of the red rubies (a very warm color) may emphasize the diamond's color more. In my marquise thread, Gypsy has recommended G+, and Niel I think seemed to prefer slightly higher colors. When I contacted GOG, they recommended D-F for marquise stones (unless you want that slight tint in the points).

With regards to eye-cleanliness, I assume you've already read this excellent PS article on the subject. It is possible, apparently to find "eye-clean" SI2 diamonds (depending on your definition of "eye-clean"), but it seems like it would take a lot of sifting.

 

[TC1987]

...
And somehow I wasn't clear, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and take a risk buying something unusual, and have her return it. That's preferable to something safer. It's just the way we are.
...

Are you sure you both are on that same page? You don't have to answer here, but how long has she been single? The reason I say that is I'm in roughly the same age group, and I've been single almost 10 years. And I would not want a man choosing an engagement ring totally as a unilateral decision, because I'm an independent adult and that approach smacks of authoritarian husband, and I'd find it offensive. I'd also find it MIGHTY AWKWARD to be presented with an e-ring that I hate, by the man that I love. That's like putting someone in a no-win situation. "Hey honey, I hate that ring, but yes, I'll marry you!" I mean, just think that through, put yourself in that situation of she gives you a watch that you HATE, and you don't want to wear it every day, but exactly what do you say to her to avoid hurting her feelings.

One of the huge problems I had with recently divorced and widowed men is that they are still in the long-term married-mindset, and don't seem to grasp the fact that a new marriage doesn't pick up where the first left off, and a woman who has been single a long time isn't necessarily going to accept a subordinate role. It's one reason why I quit dating those guys, actually. They never quite seemed to get a clue that I wasn't just going to mold myself to their every whim or edict.

You could propose with a placeholder ring, like a good cz ring or a birthstone ring or just some kind of pretty ring, and then pick the real e-ring together. That's what I recommend, actually. Then you are not wasting time and money on a ring she may hate, and she won't be in the awkward position of not being pleased with the ring style that you chose. Just my $0.02. ymmv

 

[Gypsy]

No, don't limit your clarity. Selection is already limited with marquise. Keep it eyeclean or better. And you don't need 1.2 carats. You don't buy marquise by carat weight. You buy them by spread. A 1 carat Marquise is a substantial stone, they are very spready. Focus on quality not weight.

 

[Travelgal]

Your story is heartbreaking and heartwarming. You sound very passionate about your future fiancé and wife- great start to a new beginning. I do have a question- when you say that she wears a lot of black and loves red (including lipstick)- I am seeing a very sophisticated and/or artsy type woman. What type of work does she do? I say this (while echoing what others have said) because a vintage (I mean 30s 40s 50s) marquise sounds cool and sophisticated. I am not sure I see the same thing when I picture the ring you mention. To me, it sounds very 90s (just my personal opinion) and not the cool/artsy/playful/unique vibe that you describe.

Also, this is not at all like you said, but this ring is very cool and very unique. What about something like this with rubies instead of onyx if you don't like the black?

http://www.singlestone.com/index.php?page=collections&catID=14&pID=1744&startRow=14

 

[RandG]

...
And somehow I wasn't clear, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and take a risk buying something unusual, and have her return it. That's preferable to something safer. It's just the way we are.
...

Are you sure you both are on that same page? You don't have to answer here, but how long has she been single? The reason I say that is I'm in roughly the same age group, and I've been single almost 10 years. And I would not want a man choosing an engagement ring totally as a unilateral decision, because I'm an independent adult and that approach smacks of authoritarian husband, and I'd find it offensive. I'd also find it MIGHTY AWKWARD to be presented with an e-ring that I hate, by the man that I love. That's like putting someone in a no-win situation. "Hey honey, I hate that ring, but yes, I'll marry you!" I mean, just think that through, put yourself in that situation of she gives you a watch that you HATE, and you don't want to wear it every day, but exactly what do you say to her to avoid hurting her feelings.

One of the huge problems I had with recently divorced and widowed men is that they are still in the long-term married-mindset, and don't seem to grasp the fact that a new marriage doesn't pick up where the first left off, and a woman who has been single a long time isn't necessarily going to accept a subordinate role. It's one reason why I quit dating those guys, actually. They never quite seemed to get a clue that I wasn't just going to mold myself to their every whim or edict.

You could propose with a placeholder ring, like a good cz ring or a birthstone ring or just some kind of pretty ring, and then pick the real e-ring together. That's what I recommend, actually. Then you are not wasting time and money on a ring she may hate, and she won't be in the awkward position of not being pleased with the ring style that you chose. Just my $0.02. ymmv

I couldn't agree with you more. This happened to me. Over time, I resented not being included in such a big decision, and he resented my resentment. I disliked the diamond so much I didn't wear it, and I finally sold it, giving him the proceeds. Conversely, I selected my first engagement ring, and to this day, it remains one of my favorite pieces.

 

[Niel]

I love marquise. And they are coming back! If you think she will like them, you know her better than any of us, so don't let us talk you out of one.

James Allen had 3 great marquise in your price range, but DRK currently has them all reserved.

I should be making a decision (I don't wanna step on his toes, but i cant imagine he needs all three) and I might contact JA after he makes his decision and pick one of those. All the asets are actually really nice.