Do you mind the question, "What do you do?"

[Smith1942]

Doctors are building a picture of you as soon as you walk in the door. The picture will get adjusted as they get to know you. It has absolutely nothing to do with judging you in any way. Your occupation doesn't always have any bearing on your health, but sometimes it does. We won't know unless we ask you though.

I have had Doctors ask me computer questions(what to buy, how to fix and so forth) and one even went and got his laptop during my appointment and I fixed it for him.
At the time I didn't really think anything of it but afterwards was like what? did that just happen.
When I was doing more home user support I had many Doctors for clients but that was the only one who asked me to fix a computer in the treatment room while I was there as a patient.

But really, you just have to see the funny side of that, don't you!

 

[Smith1942]

[quote="rosetta
Outside of work, I do see your point about it being a nosey question. But my view is this: I'm not sure whether this person is asking it to be nosey, to gauge if they are wealthier/poorer than me, are genuinely interested, or have no other small talk at all. I just give them the benefit of the doubt and chalk it down to to small talk![/quote]

Since I got married I have had a never-ending avalanche of nosy questions. I cannot count the number of times I've been asked about my plans for children, just WHEN am I going to have them, how many bedrooms are we planning on getting in our new place relative to our baby plans; I have been asked over and over and over about our finances, whether we have joint accounts - that question is a favourite, believe me - and I have been questioned down to the nth degree about how often I cook dinner for my husband, whether he is home or not when one of these nosy people happens to phone, and if he's not home, what time is he coming home - honestly, the utter nosiness of some people these days knows no bounds. Add in to that the natural curiosity that comes with being a foreigner - where am I from, how long have I been here, where do I live, how old am I etc etc. So I am totally fed up with answering questions about my lifestyle and future plans with my husband.....so after the last few years, possibly I am over-sensitive to being asked pretty much anything about myself!

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Your question made me think about my younger single yrs. I was divorced and working in Manhatten. The single or divorced women at work went to the single bars on Third avenue after work on Friday. Most of the singles bars there were packed. Of course guys would approach and the conversations begin. I was so impressed with the men who went to those bars, I began to think the pickins were great. Most everyone was a vice-president of had a fabulous job. I usually did ask them what they did for a living.

My friend who had a pretty big position at our company would never tell them where she worked and cautioned me against revealing that. She just didn't want anyone to know about her.

As i found out later, much to my disappointment, most of the men lied as well. They were not VP's at all and did it because they knew that the women were sizing them up by their jobs. Very funny really. Just a pretend game. I did meet one guy, who was foreign. He wasn't up on the lying part and I did get to go to a wonderful company affair with him. He was an international patent attorney from Sweden and was a darling guy.

I always thought the criticism came from the Europeans about this method of the American way of conversation. The English may do it now, but I think it comes from America. We are money oriented here, and I can atest to the fact that women in Manhatten tried to find out about the men they were meeting by this question.

Annette

 

[Smith1942]

I was always proud to answer, " I'm a teacher." The next question was, "what grade do you teach? Grades nine to thirteen (back when we had a thirteen). Then, of course, it was about the subjects I taught. On it went until I commented that the individual must be looking at getting qualified to teach.

Invariably after that, the answer was never in a million years, but you have two months off in the summer hinting that I must lounge by the pool while enjoying a cold beverage.

The comments ended when the subject of 'salary' came up. I simply said that, I found it fair, but I wasn't there for the money: I just loved the job and the students and trying to keep one step ahead of those rascals.

I think teachers everywhere are doomed to that stereotype, Isaku! Anyway, nothing wrong with a bit of extended lounging, if you ask me. We only get one life - why should we work till we drop 52 weeks of the year?

What subjects did you teach?

Teaching seems to be getting more dangerous, with the school shootings. This week, a student went in search of the school librarian with a shotgun because the librarian had kicked him off the debate team. And a few weeks ago in my state, a student brutally murdered a teacher in a bathroom after school.Then there's all the mass school shootings. I think teachers should start getting danger money!

How is your health? I think of you often.

Hi Smith1942

I taught English and French mainly, but was also qualified in latin and history.

My health right now is not too bad, but I notice from month to month I'm weaker and more tired. I do what I want to do now not so much what I feel I should do. DH has been very supportive and helpful.

I can't plan in advance so no more concerts, travels - pretty well everything I used to enjoy is out.
Bummer.

Nevertheless, I have lots of pleasant memories of things we used to do and enjoy! No weeping here.

Isaku - that IS a bummer. You have my sympathy. However, maybe now is the time to write your novel!

 

[Rhea]

Er, I have to ask about my patients' occupations. I'm about to give them some pretty toxic treatment so I'd like to gauge how this will affect their lives, jobs, family, everything. A large proportion will not be able to work through the treatment. We need to make a plan for 3, 6 months sometimes even a year ahead.

It has never, ever occurred to me that anyone would be offended by this question. To me, it's such a mundane small talk sort of question in social circles. I ask way more awkward and intrusive questions at work!

I don't mind people asking in a professional setting. It's probably necessary and I assume that a health care professional is professional enough not to comment or pass judgement. Sometimes it's necessary to disclose and I don't mind my GP knowing as it has the potential to effect my health. It's more that in social settings it can be awkward as it quickly brings up politics and what people think of the current government's policies.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Most people really identify with their careers. It becomes part of them. I only minded when I hated previous jobs/careers. It was more about my discontentment than the actual question. I am really proud of my current career. I don't mind at all but sometimes I do get "trapped" in conversations that seem inappropriate (too much information). Usually happens on airplanes and I know people in my field who lie to strangers to avoid awkwardness. I don't offend easily and think curiosity is part of being a human being. I rather have a conversation with someone who is interested in other people than someone who only wants to talk about themselves.

 

[momhappy]

No, I don't mind and I don't find it at all rude. It's just conversation and doesn't have any malicious intent in my opinion. Even when I was a stay-at-home mom for over 10 years, I had no issue with coming forth with that info if asked.

 

[aljdewey]

Since I got married I have had a never-ending avalanche of nosy questions. I cannot count the number of times I've been asked about my plans for children, just WHEN am I going to have them, how many bedrooms are we planning on getting in our new place relative to our baby plans; I have been asked over and over and over about our finances, whether we have joint accounts - that question is a favourite, believe me - and I have been questioned down to the nth degree about how often I cook dinner for my husband, whether he is home or not when one of these nosy people happens to phone, and if he's not home, what time is he coming home - honestly, the utter nosiness of some people these days knows no bounds.

These are questions from people you don't know well??? I can't imagine anyone at a gathering or party actually asking how one manages finance details with a spouse. If that is commonplace where you live, I'm stunned. If they are questions from relatives, I'm less shocked - it seems there are no boundaries with some folks - but I'd suggest it's still within your control to answer or not answer them. If someone asks a question I don't think is appropriate, I normally just ask them a different unrelated question, and if that doesn't work, I'll ask if they know where the restroom is and then excuse myself.

Add in to that the natural curiosity that comes with being a foreigner - where am I from, how long have I been here, where do I live, how old am I etc etc. So I am totally fed up with answering questions about my lifestyle and future plans with my husband.....so after the last few years, possibly I am over-sensitive to being asked pretty much anything about myself!

Smith, with the list of (pretty innocuous) questions you've just listed as being offensive to you, it would seem that any attempt to get to know you is something you find offensive. Maybe you'd be more comfortable just avoiding social situations altogether? Some people really just don't enjoy socializing, and you may be among them.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Most people really identify with their careers. It becomes part of them. I only minded when I hated previous jobs/careers. It was more about my discontentment than the actual question. I am really proud of my current career. I don't mind at all but sometimes I do get "trapped" in conversations that seem inappropriate (too much information). Usually happens on airplanes and I know people in my field who lie to strangers to avoid awkwardness. I don't offend easily and think curiosity is part of being a human being. I rather have a conversation with someone who is interested in other people than someone who only wants to talk about themselves.

Tacori - I can see how that could easily happen w/you once you tell them your profession. For some reason, people have a tendency to tell me intimate details about love lifes, traumas, or finances and I'm not sure why. One woman had a daughter in my son's class and literally spent hours over the course of a couple of years telling me every small detail and then after maybe three or four years asked me what my name was!!! ??? Bizarre. I admire your ability to have the strength to listen to people and help them. It's hard not to run the other direction when I see that woman I mentioned. lol

 

[MichelleCarmen]

What I do can't be specifically defined so I just give a loose term and they quickly move on to themselves. It is amazing how quickly someone will be willing to take over the conversation...sometimes a person may ask what you do just so you can ask them back and they can talk about themselves.

 

[Smith1942]

Since I got married I have had a never-ending avalanche of nosy questions. I cannot count the number of times I've been asked about my plans for children, just WHEN am I going to have them, how many bedrooms are we planning on getting in our new place relative to our baby plans; I have been asked over and over and over about our finances, whether we have joint accounts - that question is a favourite, believe me - and I have been questioned down to the nth degree about how often I cook dinner for my husband, whether he is home or not when one of these nosy people happens to phone, and if he's not home, what time is he coming home - honestly, the utter nosiness of some people these days knows no bounds.

These are questions from people you don't know well??? I can't imagine anyone at a gathering or party actually asking how one manages finance details with a spouse. If that is commonplace where you live, I'm stunned. If they are questions from relatives, I'm less shocked - it seems there are no boundaries with some folks - but I'd suggest it's still within your control to answer or not answer them. If someone asks a question I don't think is appropriate, I normally just ask them a different unrelated question, and if that doesn't work, I'll ask if they know where the restroom is and then excuse myself.

Add in to that the natural curiosity that comes with being a foreigner - where am I from, how long have I been here, where do I live, how old am I etc etc. So I am totally fed up with answering questions about my lifestyle and future plans with my husband.....so after the last few years, possibly I am over-sensitive to being asked pretty much anything about myself!

Smith, with the list of (pretty innocuous) questions you've just listed as being offensive to you, it would seem that any attempt to get to know you is something you find offensive. Maybe you'd be more comfortable just avoiding social situations altogether? Some people really just don't enjoy socializing, and you may be among them.

Yeah, I really should go and live under a rock, shouldn't I? Just joking.

Sorry for late reply. Just had a twenty-hour journey back to my native country and am busy looking after my parents, then I will be going to stay with my in-laws for a few days, so am swamped with family duty.

Yes, all those questions have been asked by people I've either met five minutes before, or by casual acquaintances, friends of friends, or by colleagues I don't know well - i.e. people not on my team.

I actually socialise constantly in my neighbourhood bar, which probably accounts for answering the same questions so much. To quote the owner, I should have a plaque on the bar. I should add that I don't really drink; I just love the food, since I live in Boston's famous Italian district. I've been grilled twice this week and it's only Thursday, including an acquaintance from the 'hood - the other was a taxi driver. Anyway, the acquaintance rudely told me that I obviously don't want children because I haven't had them yet. I mentioned having kids next year. "I don't think you really WANT them!", she says like that, loudly and with her nose screwed up at me. Jesus, I could have had three miscarriages for all she knows. (And that is the third nosy comment I've had this week about kids.) Fine, whatever, I don't have to justify anything to her. I remained calm, I did not rise to the temptation to explain about my husband's illness, and merely said, "Oh, I don't really like talking about that with anyone but X" [my husband]. And then I changed the subject. I can't deny that it really stung, though.

Anyway, I like light conversation with laid-back people, or conversation where I can help someone. I met a girl from Dresden in the bar and we had a great convo about the city, and I walked her back to her lodgings afterwards. There was also a man in there once who was in pieces because he was in love with a married woman and it appeared that she was carrying his baby. I spent quite a while counselling him. I like interesting conversation; I simply don't like being grilled by strangers and nosy parkers. I get uncomfortable when the conversation starts feeling like an interview. I suppose I'd rather talk about others or about subjects of general interest than myself.

I also don't think the work question is the worst thing in the world - I just find it mildly annoying, and I really only posted it to attempt to do my part to keep Hangout interesting.

 

[aljdewey]

I really do hope you are joking, because I truly don't mean it in an offensive way. Some people are just not comfortable socializing - instead of energizing them to learn about new people and make new friends, they find it really exhaustive and draining and unpleasant. Some people really do have tremendous social anxiety.

I live within about 30 miles of your North End neighborhood, but I gotta say I'm still stunned that if near-strangers really ask you all those pointed questions, but even if you do, there's positively no reason you have to actually answer them.

It's just funny how different we all are. I'd be offended if a stranger presumed to counsel me, so I guess we all have our hot buttons.

 

[Smith1942]

I really do hope you are joking, because I truly don't mean it in an offensive way. Some people are just not comfortable socializing - instead of energizing them to learn about new people and make new friends, they find it really exhaustive and draining and unpleasant. Some people really do have tremendous social anxiety.

I live within about 30 miles of your North End neighborhood, but I gotta say I'm still stunned that if near-strangers really ask you all those pointed questions, but even if you do, there's positively no reason you have to actually answer them.

It's just funny how different we all are. I'd be offended if a stranger presumed to counsel me, so I guess we all have our hot buttons.

Well, considering I socialise a few times a week, every week, in my neighbourhood bar, in addition to seeing my established close friends, I don't think I'm a candidate for social anxiety! And I've invited the whole of Boston to our New Year's party, just about, including the girl in the sweet shop because we get on and we bonded over our parents' illnesses since we are both immigrants dealing with it from a distance, and she always gives me free chocolates and seems really happy to see me so I think she wants to be better mates, and my SA at Tiffany who I've started working out with and who always sends me a gift on my birthday, and the girl I met in the bar recently who has just moved to the States from my hometown in my native country and calls me frequently. She also has the breast cancer issue in her family so we bonded over that, in addition to being from the same place. I actually bond with new people remarkably easily but I don't like rude comments or grillings from strangers. Who does?

And that guy was in a mess, and grateful for my help. I didn't presume anything. It was quite a while ago, but I'm pretty sure he started the conversation. When someone indicates they don't want to talk about something I immediately change the subject. Example: my friend Robbie whom I met at the bar way back when, keeps going back to an ex-boyfriend who always hurts him, and they were due to be at the same party recently. When we were at the bar recently, I mentioned the upcoming party and he was all, "Oh, my family have just been talking to me about that" in a somewhat fed-up tone, so I shut it and we talked about something else. Immediately. He was happy to change the subject. I'm good at reading people and as my BFF says, "In the 28 years I've known you, you have never, ever said anything off-colour to me, not once." I'm not rude to others very often - I'm not perfect, everyone forgets themselves sometimes if they are tired or upset about something themselves - but usually I try quite hard not to hurt others' feelings, so I'm always a little surprised when others don't seem to think before they speak, saying hurtful things like the baby remark above.

Yup, some rude people really do say all those things. I'm quite small and polite with a quiet-ish voice, so my husband says - obviously I'm just not scary enough!

I should be more like this:

And then they'd be like this:

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Most people really identify with their careers. It becomes part of them. I only minded when I hated previous jobs/careers. It was more about my discontentment than the actual question. I am really proud of my current career. I don't mind at all but sometimes I do get "trapped" in conversations that seem inappropriate (too much information). Usually happens on airplanes and I know people in my field who lie to strangers to avoid awkwardness. I don't offend easily and think curiosity is part of being a human being. I rather have a conversation with someone who is interested in other people than someone who only wants to talk about themselves.

Tacori - I can see how that could easily happen w/you once you tell them your profession. For some reason, people have a tendency to tell me intimate details about love lifes, traumas, or finances and I'm not sure why. One woman had a daughter in my son's class and literally spent hours over the course of a couple of years telling me every small detail and then after maybe three or four years asked me what my name was!!! ??? Bizarre. I admire your ability to have the strength to listen to people and help them. It's hard not to run the other direction when I see that woman I mentioned. lol

Well, in context it is easier. My daughter's old daycare teacher used to tell me all this personal stuff. I don't think she even knew my job and trust me, I never asked. At work, I have to ask REALLY personal questions. Some people are open, some get really annoyed. I try to make it more of a conversation than an interview but that is not always possible.

 

[GliderPoss]

Nope doesn't bother me. Though I'm a military spouse so most ppl assume I don't work. If they only knew the truth that I was the breadwinner we would be shunned from the military community

Ugh ditto. I'm not even a parent *GASP!* and I work full time, earning more than his wages so um yeah I get a tad annoyed if people assume I do nothing because I'm a military spouse BUT getting back to OP's original question - am I offended? Not at all. I've certainly never met anyone here in Oz who has given offence at that question. Seems pretty normal in a conversation...

 

[Sky56]

I like good conversation and don't mind doing or receiving those mundane "opening questions."

But, I will never forget these two situations I experienced in the 1990's. Not what I call stellar interactions!

1. At a party, I asked a woman where she was from. It was in a town where just about everybody was originally from somewhere else. She replied, huffily, "Why do YOU CARE? What does it matter?" I never wanted anything to do with her after that.

2. Going to the mailbox in a nice suburban neighborhood, I run into the neighbor. She loved animals, and we'd make small talk about her cats and dogs, the weather, and other innocuous things. So, we chat for a minute about those kind of things and out of the blue she said, "My husband loves to go down on me!" I was speechless, and walked to the mailbox. Looking back, it would have been fun to say, "Oh, really?" or "So does mine." I never am able to think of witty rejoinders until after the fact! I did try to keep away from her after that day.

 

[MissStepcut]

I admit that my work is so completely "who I am," other than a mother, that I tend to drift toward conversations about work. Plus I like to hear about people's professions. Not nearly as interested in their thoughts on the Bergdahl affair.

 

[little_birdie]

I admit that my work is so completely "who I am," other than a mother, that I tend to drift toward conversations about work. Plus I like to hear about people's professions. Not nearly as interested in their thoughts on the Bergdahl affair.

Honestly? I love hearing about other people's jobs and what they entail. So many have these professional titles that to me doesnt explain what they do that I admit I'm curious. Especially in the finance sector, it just amazes me that people complete a finance degree and then go onto such varied jobs that I love to hear about it.
As for my job, I work with animals so it makes sense for my doctor to be well aware of this as they need to consider zoonotic diseases.

I dont ask my clients what they do unless they come in and start throwing around random medical words. As some have mentioned, it can help us decide our technical language when we speak to others. Sometimes my clients like to google things and pick up words that they then use, sometimes incorrectly and it helps to know whether they have a medical knowledge or googled the terms otherwise I could end up confusing them by going I to medical jargon and overwhelming them because I'd incorrectly assumed they had a medical background.

On the other hand, sometimes I dont like telling people my profession as they often then say 'oh, I wanted to be that but then I realised I loved animals too much and dont have the heart to do the job!' ...are you saying I'm not as caring as you?
Or they promptly pull out their phones and start showing me photos of their animals and telling me their life story or any medical issues they have. It's just, when I'm away from work I dont like to feel like I'm at work...

 

[Boatluvr]

I remembered this post from last year or so. I recently attended a seminar on 'Relationship Building & Sales Techniques' give by a coach/teacher/professional business speaker. He recommends these conversation 'starters'.

1) Where are you from originally?
2) Have you lived here your whole life?
3) What brought you here?
4) What do you do?
5) What did you want to be when you were growing up?[/list]

I felt some of the questions were a 'bit' intrusive - or maybe, just outdated? His mother was his inspiration and evidently she was an immigrant. Perhaps in certain neighborhoods these questions may be just considered curiosity. I live outside of Washington, DC and it's my opinion that many people in this area would find these questions a bit too personal for a first meeting.

Perhaps some of the people who ask similar questions have taken his seminar?

 

[Calliecake]

I had a cab driver ask me this a few months back. After I answered he said that he found it interesting how different parts of the US answered this question. Most people from the East coast and Midwest answered regarding their occupation, while those on the a West coast answered in regard to their hobbies (biking, hiking, etc).

I don't mind the question at all and really feel those who ask are just trying to make polite conversation.

 

[aljdewey]

At a party, I asked a woman where she was from. It was in a town where just about everybody was originally from somewhere else. She replied, huffily, "Why do YOU CARE? What does it matter?" I never wanted anything to do with her after that.

Exactly.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I don't mind it because I'm gainfully employed at the moment, and I have no issue with sharing my work info, however I may not be okay if I were not working or in a bad place in my life, I'd find it really nosy and intrusive.

That being said, I would never ask someone "What do you do" unless I knew a little bit about them from a mutual acquaintance. for example, is someone told me: Let me introduce you to John Smith, he works for Dell. I would say: "Hi John Smith, what do you do for Dell?". Only in that context do I find it acceptable, without any hint of rudeness.

 

[missy]

I don't mind it because I'm gainfully employed at the moment, and I have no issue with sharing my work info, however I may not be okay if I were not working or in a bad place in my life, I'd find it really nosy and intrusive.

That being said, I would never ask someone "What do you do" unless I knew a little bit about them from a mutual acquaintance. for example, is someone told me: Let me introduce you to John Smith, he works for Dell. I would say: "Hi John Smith, what do you do for Dell?". Only in that context do I find it acceptable, without any hint of rudeness.

Now being on the other side of the employment force I can see where it would be a more difficult and perhaps even embarrassing question. I am trying to visualize being asked what I do if we were at a party or social gathering now and well not loving my answer.

For example we have some late summer parties coming up and I doubt I am going to be able to go (depends on how I am doing of course and what the doctor's instructions are). However if I was allowed/able to go and there were some people there who did not know me and asked me what my occupation is I think I would feel self conscious. Though it is so close to the accident that perhaps I would not feel that way.

So let's say a year from now I am asked the same question. When I am hopefully all healed and let's just say I am not working due to losing my job because of the accident and being unable to get something to replace it (which is very probable due to me being in such a niche field within my career). Then I will most likely feel uncomfortable and unhappy reliving the whole reason I am unemployed and feeling useless that after 25 years in the workforce I am now wasting my skills and not earning money for our family and future.

Sure I plan on volunteering (I have given this some thought lately) if I cannot resume my career but not being able to work in the capacity I studied (and enjoyed) for all those years will be a difficult change for me. I will miss the challenge and satisfaction I got working with the specific population of people I have so closely been with all these years. And the question will bring up those memories and thoughts.

All of my feelings though are not the fault of the person asking in any way and I still think the question is a valid one in social situations. Right up there with making small talk and getting to know someone whether casually or with an eye towards making a new friend.

 

[zoebartlett]

I remembered this post from last year or so. I recently attended a seminar on 'Relationship Building & Sales Techniques' give by a coach/teacher/professional business speaker. He recommends these conversation 'starters'.

1) Where are you from originally?
2) Have you lived here your whole life?
3) What brought you here?
4) What do you do?
5) What did you want to be when you were growing up?[/list]

I felt some of the questions were a 'bit' intrusive - or maybe, just outdated? His mother was his inspiration and evidently she was an immigrant. Perhaps in certain neighborhoods these questions may be just considered curiosity. I live outside of Washington, DC and it's my opinion that many people in this area would find these questions a bit too personal for a first meeting.

Perhaps some of the people who ask similar questions have taken his seminar?

I haven't taken this type of seminar, but I wonder why you (and possibly others) felt that this speaker's questions were too personal. To me, they just seem like typical conversation starters out of curiosity, not meant to be intrusive.

ETA: I should have finished reading. Okay, I get it now, why some people may feel self-conscious.

Callie, interesting! When I answer (and ask) the "what do you do?" question, I automatically think about occupations.

 

[missy]

It's funny and I posted this somewhere on PS before but I get more insulted when people ask your dh what they do and skip over asking you what you do.

In general I don't mind the question because coming from most people it's a way of making small talk and being personable. What I really mind is when people seem to think the man's occupation is more valuable than the woman's occupation. This doesn't happen a lot these days but I have noticed some people just ask the man what they do and don't even bother asking the woman. Just something I have observed occasionally. That bothers me.

 

[Indylady]

Add in to that the natural curiosity that comes with being a foreigner - where am I from, how long have I been here, where do I live, how old am I etc etc. So I am totally fed up with answering questions about my lifestyle and future plans with my husband.....so after the last few years, possibly I am over-sensitive to being asked pretty much anything about myself!

Smith, with the list of (pretty innocuous) questions you've just listed as being offensive to you, it would seem that any attempt to get to know you is something you find offensive. Maybe you'd be more comfortable just avoiding social situations altogether? Some people really just don't enjoy socializing, and you may be among them.

Hey Ali!

I don't think those questions are as innocuous as you find them. I love making friends, and am the kind of person to chat with a stranger in a line or at the dog park.

Where are you from? If the intent is to ask me where I'm ethnically from, I'm not really inclined to talk to you about it. I'm American. I might not be white or black, but I'm American--born, raised, educated and tax paying in one and only one place--here. People from other races that are implied with being American may get that question too, and may not find it offensive in the same way--but, the resulting implication isn't really the same for people that look stereotypically American, and one does not get the second question on the list either--how long have you been here. Since Smith mentioned she is foreign, her feelings make a lot of sense to me.

How long have you been here? Same as above.

Where do you live? I'd mention a city, but..if I'm talking to you in a particular city, its probably the one I live in unless I'm traveling. In the case I was traveling, it wouldn't be so intrusive. But, if its the city I live in, and you're a stranger, I wouldn't ask you where you live or probably tell you where I live unless it was relevant to the context of the conversation. As a starter, I'd find it strange.

Asking how old I am--again, I'd find it weird.

To answer the original question--I don't mind the question of "What do you do?"

 

[caf]

It's funny and I posted this somewhere on PS before but I get more insulted when people ask your dh what they do and skip over asking you what you do.

In general I don't mind the question because coming from most people it's a way of making small talk and being personable. What I really mind is when people seem to think the man's occupation is more valuable than the woman's occupation. This doesn't happen a lot these days but I have noticed some people just ask the man what they do and don't even bother asking the woman. Just something I have observed occasionally. That bothers me.

This.

My BF and I are both longtime lawyers. We are well respected in our areas of expertise. I find it amusing when, in a group, people ask what he does and don't ask me. He is very proud of me and will often tell them what he does and then launch into a spiel about me and what I do and why I am great. (Love that man.)

I gain a lot of information about people by what questions they do and don't ask. But I normally don't ever mind telling people what I do. I love what I do and am proud of it. I also want to model for my DD (the teen) - about work and finding something that you like/love.