Now I really did it :((

[missy]

Laurie, my dear PS twin sister! Thank you for your words of encouragement. You are such a dear. And thank you for sharing your friend's story. So glad he is back being active and doing the things he loves.

Sky, thank you too for sharing those experiences with me. Glad they are both doing well now. Scary how it all can change like that and it makes me feel better reading about those who have been there did that and recovered fully and able to enjoy their lives like before.


arkieb, too kind of you thank you for that generous offer. I won't impose on you in that way but definitely welcome any recommendations re books. I will be returning to the book thread and checking out all the new recs. Ironically my kindle stopped working this past Thursday so my dh is generously giving me his ipad mini so I can read my kindle books that way. Though I don't want to take that away from him because he reads on his commute every day but for the time being I will. Why can't device at least work while I am dealing with this. Sometimes just a non working computer connection, down cablevision or broken kindle is too much when you are dealing with bigger things yanno? Universe I need some good vibes pretty please!!!


Indylady, thank you for that link! Maybe after surgery and while I am recovering it can be helpful. I definitely will check that out. Much appreciated!

Sakuracherry, thank you. I will do that but I don't feel like resting my body is even helping because my ankle is so messed up and I cannot even begin healing till after the surgery corrects it.
Plus I won't go into the details (way TMI) but the doctor warned me about some things and yup so true. I am feeling very uncomfortable in a bodily function sort of way if you catch my drift. He said that the inactivity will do that to me (plus I am sure the Vicodin is not helping in that department).


Thank you armywife! I appreciate your good wishes and thoughts!

VRBeauty, thank you so much. Reading is usually a luxury for me but feels like torture right now but I am going to try appreciating the time I have to read and just rest instead of whine and cry. I am going to be strong and get through this just fine. And if I keep the positive thoughts coming they will come to fruition. Thanks and Hugs!


Junebug, aww thank you sweetheart. I know I can always count on you to lend me your shoulder to cry on and it means a lot to me. It really does. I feel safe venting to you and that's a valuable quality you have. (((Hugs))).


Thank you lulu!

AprilBaby, yes we are close to Aberdeen at the shore! The doctor I am considering here is Dr Glenn Gabisan. Very nice man. Just not sure if he is a top notch ankle foot surgeon. The doctor I am considering at the HSS is Dr. David Wellman. He repaired my mom's botched leg surgery a few years ago and is supposedly a top notch surgeon. Again not sure how to really figure out the best surgeon for me as I am very foggy these days even before the accident but now even more so. Too bad you don't live here anymore-it would be nice to have you come visit (nice for me at least-not sure about how you would feel about that lol). Thanks for your good wishes.

Thank you DF! How's your daughter doing? Did her young man propose yet? I have to catch up on the other PS threads and it looks like I have a lot of time on my hands to do just that these days.


Smores, thank you! I appreciate that. I am sick of focusing on me though and I am sure some PSers are sick of it too haha. But I really appreciate how kind so many PSers are. Any little kindness helps me so much right now.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I would not hesitate to ask for more pain medication until you can get to surgery for the repair. Lying in pain serves no purpose.

I hope how soon the swelling goes down so that surgery is possible. Right now you're just in limbo and the healing can't begin. My heart just aches for you - I can imagine the pain is almost intolerable. It just kills me that folks are sent home to suffer through this alone. Years ago, you would have been hospitalized so that your pain could be managed and your needs addressed with nursing help. Sending people home to manage this on their own almost seems like a crime. I'm glad that your husband is so helpful and supportive; you're going to need help for some time to come.

Just step by step, hour by hour. I think at this point the most pressing concern is staying off your legs all you can and managing the pain. I would certainly give that doctor a call.

 

[dragonfly411]

I agree with missgotrocks - Don't hesitate to ask for something to help with your pain. You shouldn't have to be miserable.

 

[missy]

Circe, my dear, your lovely words move me. A heartfelt and sincere thanks. Just reading your post made me feel a bit better and more upbeat. And for the record, I feel the very same about you. Just very jealous about your elegant way with words! (((Hugs))).


Gyspy, thank you so much. And big (((hugs))) right back at you. You are one of my favorite posters here and I always enjoy reading your wise and honest posts. Thank you for taking the time to post here.


Enerchi, my dear friend, thank you and (((Hugs))).

Kelinas, haha, I did catch a "break" LOL. Thanks for the laugh and also for the good wishes!

Bella, thank you and (((hugs))) to you too!!!


texasj, yes, I will let my hair frizz but you know even when in pain a girly girl wants to look her best. I was quite the sight yesterday I can tell you. But everyone was super nice to me despite me being a scarey sight haha. They had to cut me out of my cycling pants. My expensive cycling pants. The residents didn't want to do it (did I mention how handsome the surgical residents are? Oh if I was 20 years younger and not in excruciating pain... haha) and just rolled it up my leg but when the surgeon came he said it had to be done. And g-d bless my dh he said he can fix it. Love him for even caring because I care.

And washing my long mop is going to also be a challenge because of how hard it is to detangle. But I don't think cutting it is a good option for me right now though I am considering it. Just don't want to make myself more vulnerable than I already am feeling...short hair can make one feel naked and I am already feeling naked enough with having my dh help me with the most basic things...but still way better than if strangers were helping me.


Rosebloom, you are such a love. I really enjoy your PS company and thank you and big hugs. My dh and PS are going to be constant companions I hope through this challenging time.


MovieZombie, ouch! I am so sorry you broke your ankle 3 times. How are you doing? How was your recovery? Thank you for those wise words. I am taking them to heart. And I hope you are fully recovered. ((Hugs))).


MissGotRocks, thank you! You are a first responder (LOL) and your reading your post lifted my spirits. yes, my physical healing will have a lot to do with how strong emotionally I can be. One day at a time.
And thank you for being so understanding and allowing me to complain without ramifications. That means so much to me. (((Hugs))).

ETA: They did give me the option at the hospital of staying the night and I asked the surgeon and resident their thoughts and they both said it was OK to go home if I felt up to it. I was tempted but being in a hospital alone was not appealing and I also remember enough from both my parents hopsitalizations that they still experienced a lot of pain in the hospital. My mom was given intravenous pain meds but she was in horrible pain almost around the clock with only an hour or 2 of relief at a time if my memory serves me correctly. I guess there is only so much pain medication one can take. But I cannot blame them for sending me home as they gave me the option. Though they did say they thought I could go home. I thought I would be OK but the pain got much worse as the hours went by. But I guess if I am going to be in pain no matter what I would rather be in the comforts of my own home. But not sure I made the right call.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Oh, Missy! I am so so sorry! I can't even imagine! I can hardly believe they sent you home in that condition! (Ok, now I see your edit. Yes, just having to go through getting home and now to another doctor Monday seems to be extremely difficult.)

Do you have any family who can come stay with you while your hubby goes to work? I do not think you should be alone for 10 hours a day! You'll need help again after the surgery.

I know the job situation is troubling, but really, you would be an asset anywhere and I believe the job situation will work out when the time comes.

Go to Amazon and order another Kindle and it'll be there by the end of the week! You have friends here on PS day and night when you need someone to talk to. And jewelry is a wonderful diversion to real life problems, too!

Love and hugs to you! I will be praying for a great surgeon and rapid recovery!

 

[missy]

Thank you so much diamondseeker. Everything seems an overwhelming task right now. We have to pack up with the 4 cats and leave the beach house either today or tomorrow early to go back to NY because of the Monday morning appointment at HSS. And I have to get a van/SUV cab because I cannot comfortably fit with my leg in this contraption in a regular taxi.

I cannot expect nor ask my parents to stay with me most days. They watch my nieces while my sister and BIL are at work and my dad is 80 anyway and very frail. So as much as I know they want to be there for me I really cannot ask that of them. My friends (who know as this just happened and I only contacted a few people) all volunteered to come and visit after work though. No one can really be with me during the day and as much as I am not wanting to be alone I cannot reasonably expect anyone at all to keep me company during the workday. That (after the pain that is) will be my biggest challenge to be sure. Being alone without the physical support of my loved ones being there. I know a lot of people are there for me to lean on emotionally and I feel fortunate about that. But to physically be here for me is just not possible except for after work and weekends. So I will just have to suck it up and put on my big girl panties so to speak and probably getting bigger by the minute given I cannot do any physical activity.

 

[Sparklelu]

Missy first of all sending heaps of healing dust your way. I fractured my ankle in Feb although not nearly as bad a deal as you managed. I was in a boot (which I blinged out!) for 8 weeks and was also non weight bearing that whole time. The knee walker was the best $105. per month I spent!!

HSS is the best, when I lived in NYC we had friends whose son was born with a rare bone condition, there were two dr in the world who did the specialized surgery that was called for one in Germany and HSS!! He had several surgeries and is doing very well at 21.

Take it one day at a time, I know it is frustrating to just sit around and not be able to do anything. Don't dwell on the length of time the doc said it would take, just follow the lead of your body. I know the pain meds have side effects but stay on top of the pain, chronic pain is depressing.

Keep us posted
Elisa

 

[missy]

Thank you so much Elisa. And I am glad your friend's son is doing so well after all he has been through.
And I will keep your wise advice about keeping the pain at bay as much as possible. I took a vicodin at 6AM and it's like nothing. So much pain I want to cry. Not sure if I should contact the hospital or wait till my Monday consult at HSS. All these Rx's need to be picked up hard copy as they cannot fax these drug Rx's to the pharmacy anymore. So just another long trip and my dh has a lot of chores he has to do today for me. Thank you again Elisa-I appreciate your good wishes.

 

[perry]

Missy:

You will do well. A few things to remember:

Life is what happens to us after we had made other plans.

The situation we find ourselves in does not determine our future - our reactions to the situation determine our future.

When god closes a door he opens a window somewhere - and in almost every case that window leads to a better life. As an example just Last night Princess Zhanna, my wife, was describing how in her old life that in one case that she thought was a huge negative - and hesitantly she started crawling through the only open window she could find; only to find out that that small window was really a key that opened a really huge wide gate and totally changed her future. That is not an unusual story.

Please look for the open window. I know it exist. Please have the courage to use it (so many people hold themselves back).

I know you are a good person - I know you can be positive. I, and others on this site, want you to both recover and move forward into a better life along the way. I know that is possible. This accident is not about the physical injury - you will recover just fine from that as long as you take on the mental challenge correctly.

Have a great day,

Perry

 

[justginger]

Oh Missy, I am so sorry! What a terrible situation - 2014 is turning out to be an atrocious year for you. I very much hope this is your last bit of bad health, and with the assistance of some amazing physicians, your leg will heal quickly and you will bounce back. Big, big hugs for being so incredibly strong.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Missy, not to beat a dead horse but I truly would inquire regarding the pain medication - particularly if you are having to travel! I know it is a pain to go pick up prescriptions but I think your husband will be more comfortable if you're not in terrible pain. Sounds like you have a tremendous task ahead of you today just getting back home. I don't even know if they would prescribe that for you now that you've left the emergency department but it wouldn't hurt to ask. Take care and please update us if you can when you get home. That trip just adds to the misery I'm sure but it's that much closer to the hospital and surgery for you!

 

[missy]

Oh Perry, thank you for those kind and wise words. I truly appreciate it and am internalizing all you said. My reactions are key to it all. No matter the physical pain and trauma I have to be strong emotionally to get through this. I cannot let this define me nor ruin my every moment. So I will take a deep breath and take it one day at a time, one hour at a time and minute by minute when necessary. Like now when the pain is crowding out all positive thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to post.


Ginger love, thank you. Yes, 2014 has been atrocious. Just when I think I am getting better wham. This happens. If I wasn't in so much pain I would laugh at the past 5 months. You cannot make this stuff up. But at least I still have my sense of humor. Even last night when my dh was helping me up those flights of stairs (this darn house has so many friggin stairs!) and I was leaning on him hopping up stair by stair I said all you have to do is one push and no one would be the wiser. All the life insurance would be yours. No one would question you. Open and shut case yanno? Haha. But my dh didn't laugh. So I think this is going to be just as hard on him as me I fear since it will all be falling on him and his job is very stressful to say the least. I feel guilty but he's my rock and he's really all I have in terms of being able to count on one person for everything almost all the time. I know I will be able to do more things for myself as soon as I have the surgery and start the recovery. Just hope and pray I don't have to wait as long as that first surgeon said. He said if the swelling is too much I won't heal and that's why I have to wait at least 2-3 weeks. That's 2-3 weeks (or more ) until I can even begin my real journey. Wasted time but no choice. Thanks for your encouragement Ginger. Much appreciated.

 

[missy]

Missy, not to beat a dead horse but I truly would inquire regarding the pain medication - particularly if you are having to travel! I know it is a pain to go pick up prescriptions but I think your husband will be more comfortable if you're not in terrible pain. Sounds like you have a tremendous task ahead of you today just getting back home. I don't even know if they would prescribe that for you now that you've left the emergency department but it wouldn't hurt to ask. Take care and please update us if you can when you get home. That trip just adds to the misery I'm sure but it's that much closer to the hospital and surgery for you!

Thank you MGR. I just asked my dh to call the hospital now and ask Dr Willis ( orthopedic resident on call today I hope-I saw him yesterday) to prescribe something else. Not sure if he will or if I just have to suck it up. This pain is too awful to describe. Let's just say on a scale of 1-10 it's a 9.5. I need to leave room if it is possible to get worse which I am sure is possible unfortunately. If I have learned anything this year I know never to think it cannot get any worse LOL.

 

[Trekkie]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Missy! You're one of my favourite posters and I hate the thought of you being in so much pain. I hope you get the pain meds that you need!

Feel free to rant and rave as much as you like (not that you've been doing that, you've been your usual polite, ladylike self! ) and we'll keep coming here to check in on you.

Tell your DH thanks for taking such good care of you!!

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[missy]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Missy! You're one of my favourite posters and I hate the thought of you being in so much pain. I hope you get the pain meds that you need!

Feel free to rant and rave as much as you like (not that you've been doing that, you've been your usual polite, ladylike self! ) and we'll keep coming here to check in on you.

Tell your DH thanks for taking such good care of you!!

Hope you feel better soon!

Thank you Trekkie! And yes to the bolded part please. I might be doing that even more than usual because it can distract me even if only for a few moments from the pain. Right now no luck in getting through to the doctors at the hospital for different pain meds. I cannot believe how difficult it is to get through to the doctors. I need pain meds that work.

 

[zoebartlett]

I'm so sorry this has happened, Missy. I know you've been through a lot this year, and it doesn't seem fair that this happened on top of it. You seem like a very strong person, and you'll get through this. Big hugs to you!

 

[MMtwo]

I am so sorry to read about your terrible rotten bad luck. Chronic pain is so frustrating. A 9.5 is almost unbearable, I hope they can ease that to a lesser level by some means. What will work for one may not work for another.

On pain: My darling daughter at 17 had multiple back fractures after an auto accident and ejection and had to wait for 3 days until they could round up the appropriate surgeons to do a spinal fusion (she is recovered now, for the record). Forever in debt to UVA Pediatrics - they were amazing.

The doctor started her on a morphine drip and she told the nurses it did not work for her. They encouraged her to keep dosing and after a day went back and realized she had quit trying. When they asked her she said "I told you it does not work, can we try something else?". My darling hard-headed daughter

Percocet saved the day and got her pain under control quickly. Why one worked and the other didn't...who knows, but keep trying different meds and don't give up and suffer. Something will work.

I hope you feel better quickly.

 

[zoebartlett]

Missy, I forgot to ask if hiring a visiting nurse to help you out once your husband goes back to work is a possibility. It might be worth looking into.

 

[Sparklelu]

Please call the Dr if the pain meds aren't doing it. You might need a different medication. I'm not a doctor but I know my mom who was in terrible bone pain at the end of her life had much relief from what I believe was a Fentynal patch.
I know its hard to ask for help, but perhaps your church, synagogue or whatever offers respite services? Also , your health insurance may cover home health aides. Even someone to stop by once a day to help out.

 

[JewelFreak]

Missy, girl --

Don't worry about general anesthesia. I've always felt like you do -- scared to pieces of it. No need to be, honestly. I've had surgeries with it a few times & come out great. Progress has been made in leaps & bounds in that field -- it's safer & less icky than ever. Think of the tens of thousands of operations every day that use it without problems at all; problems hardly ever happen, in fact. What scares us is the loss of control, I think. They can do more now with less anesthesia than ever, so recovery is quicker.

I think the pain you are having makes everything seem gloomy & I'd feel the same way. Wish I could come over to your house & pat you on the head & tell you how it's going to go. You have people around you whom you love & who love you. You're strong & smart. There's no chance you will not be as good as new. I am so sorry you have to suffer through the weekend before you can see the doc, though. That will probably be the hardest part of this -- once you have plans, things will fall into place. The not-knowing is unsettling.

Sometimes doctors say weird stuff -- the part about the swelling sounds off to me. There are ways to reduce swelling besides just sending you home to wait. The guy you'll see Monday sounds like a good decision -- ask him about that, ok? And take the doctor w/the most experience in ortho surgery, that's essential!!

I love the part about the life insurance, gave me a laugh. I always tell DH that if he dies first, I'm going to sell his Maserati & buy me a boy toy. Don't cut your hair -- just think of all the free time you'll have to de-tangle!

Much love in this post!

--- Laurie

 

[canuk-gal]

HI Missy:

What a business! I hope your treatment top notch so you can get back to your life ASAP. Take time to heal yourself. And I strongly except your employers will look forward to your return--they know you are a great asset to their team!

I see the sliding down the stairs on the bum is a popular method of getting from place A to B--worked in our household also when my SH had foot surgery!

Healing vibes across the miles....

cheers--Sharon

 

[missy]

The orthopedist called me back quickly and doubled my dosage to 10mg every 6 hours but told me to go ahead and take 10 mg now even though I took a pill 4 hours ago. I hope I am not doing more damage. But I desperately want relief from this pain.

Elisa, so sorry about your fracture! I forgot to say that in my last reply to you. I'm so glad you are fully recovered. And I am glad your mom was able to get relief at such a difficult time.
We are not members of any church or synagogue but I am sure I will get support from my friends and neighbors once they all find out. I am funny in that I really hate asking for help but it's so easy to post here asking for support. I guess that's just the nature of the beast. I feel like I "know" many of you and am very fond of you guys but when it comes down to it imposing on the internet is much easier than imposing IRL if that makes sense.


Moneymeister, oh no your poor dd and you guys! So glad she is fully recovered. I cannot imagine how awful that time must have been. Thank goodness it is all behind you! They wanted to give me a morphine drip yesterday but due to my fear of nausea I politely declined. In fact I didn't take anything at all until 4 hours into the ordeal at the ER and then it was Tylenol because I was afraid of anything stronger. LOL how quickly that all changed as I now have 15 mg vicodin in my system and impatiently waiting for some relief!

Thank you Zoe. I don't feel very strong right now but I am trying to be. That is something I can control and I am determined to make the best of this situation. Thank you and thank Elisa for recommending checking out the visiting nurse situation. I'll see if I need to do that.

Dear Laurie, your post made me smile. Thank you.
I agree it is the loss of control with general and the fear of not waking up. Sort of the same fear I have with flying. Oh well I have to get over that right? I guess I am going to be putting our 2016 cycling tour of New Zealand on indefinite hold. Not sure we were going to be able to do it anyway but at the time it was a nice dream to look forward to.

About the swelling-the doctor just now wanted to put me on what he said is a very strong anti inflammatory for 72 hours and then I reminded him that I had an esophagitis in February and March and he said oh right well no anti-inflammatories then. So I know he is doing the best he can under the circumstances but past medical history dictates my treatment so there it is. In fact taking any pain meds besides Tylenol can exacerbate my gastritis and esophagitis but I need some relief if possible. I/the doctors have to weigh risk reward and the esophagitis risk wins out over the anti-inflammatory benefits I guess. But the pain rules over it all.


And thank you for that reassurance I will be OK. That really does help. That's what I so want to hear the surgeons say and mean. That is truly my biggest fear. That I won't be OK. I know that's out of my control to a large degree as it is up to the surgeon's skill and nature of my injury and how my body heals and I am very scared. I cannot be anything but honest here and there's the raw honest truth. I can endure the pain but the thought of not being OK is terrifying. OMG I am turning into a pathetic scared neurotic middle age person. Stop that now. Uh oh, talking to myself like those crazy people do. Oh wait a minute I always did that. Good to know some things never change...

Party at my house!

 

[Tourmaline]

OMG, Missy! I only started venturing out of the jewelry forums today. Big, big hugs to you!!!

 

[tigian]

Thinking positive, healing thoughts your way, Missy. I'm so sorry this accident happened.

 

[MMtwo]

You're NOT neurotic to be worried about so many factors at once. If you weren't worried right now, that would not be a normal response. Don't beat yourself up - the bike did that for you. Thanks for your kind words about dd. The most LUCKY part of this is that your injury stopped at the leg and you didnt have a TBI or worse.

If I was closer to NY I'd offer to come help - youbetcha.

 

[movie zombie]

do not cut your hair!
you are so right: that would make you feel even more vulnerable.
perhaps use it as an opportunity to wear it up more often?
practice different up do's?
don't wash it more than once a week?
give yourself some hair treatments and just leave them in?
yes, I'm looking to make it positive rather than negative!
and, yes, I too have long hair that is baby fine and tangles.....sigh.

sleeping with a boot sucks beyond belief. sorry I can't sugar coat that one.

one thing I did do all three times was do acupuncture regularly. acupuncture was developed in conjunction in many ways with the martial arts. those guys kept breaking bones and needed to be repaired. I found it helped me to heal quicker [dr mentioned my quick healing and then discounted the acupuncture when I mentioned it] the first time. I also saw a reduction in the swelling and my cast had to be redone! more importantly it helped me to relax and feel less stressed.

w/broken ankle #2 we got me a wheel chair because I insisted I was still going to attend a film festival in Palm Springs. #3 I got smart and rented a Knee Scooter. it was actually a bit of fun but hubby was convinced I was going to hurt myself worse due to my love of speed.......... however, it allowed me to be more independent and I could go out on the deck to read my books.

this is a time to be very good to yourself....and insist that everyone around you do the same. I totally understand the feeling of lack of control and not being self-sufficient. but take your time and heal right so that this doesn't come back and bite you in your "elder" years. 3 months sounds like a very long time right now but 30 years from now it is a mere blip........the first time I broke my ankle I was single, living by myself, and living in my small house in the forest. it was really hard to let go of being able to do things and accept help from people who had to drive one hour one way to come help me. and I hated crutches. I've tried to learn from each of these experiences and I guess now I'm just accepting that this kind of thing can and will happen. since we can't undo what happened, the best we can do is learn from it and learn how to go through it........

oh, and acupuncture can be very helpful re pain management.......
and another random thought: think about some calcium and/or glucosamine supplements after your surgery. talk to your dr before starting, though.

enough random thoughts and ramblings......good luck and know you'll be on my mind!

 

[redwood66]

Oh missy I am so sorry you are going through this. HUGS!

 

[Calliecake]

Oh Missy!!! I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help you. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Everything you're going thru emotionally is completely understandable. Just take it one step at a time and take your pain meds as needed. Its very easy to feel down about everything when you're in pain. You getting we'll is the most important thing right now. My sister had a very similar accident a few years ago and is back to doing everything she enjoyed before the accident. She also had her accident bike riding. I'll also check in more during the day if you need someone to talk to. We are all here to help you if you need emotional support. Please don't forget that. Hugs

Also regarding your boss, often people surprise you when your going thru difficult times. Hopefully he will surprise you with kindness.

 

[missy]

Thank you for your kindness and healing vibes Sharon. And for the sliding down the stairs tip. Right now my leg/foot is in so much pain that moving it at all is too much for me to do. It's getting worse right now and I am stuck on the bed unable to move it at all. Just waiting for my dh to get back so I can hopefully take a shower wash my hair.Vanity still applies no matter how crappy I am feeling. And then I will have his help to get down the stairs. But I remain hopeful after the surgery I will be able to get up and down the stairs by myself even if it is using the sliding the bum method haha. Whatever it takes! Sending a big hello and hugs across the miles to you dear Sharon.


Thank you Tourmaline. I appreciate you stopping in and sending support my way!

Tigian, thank you. With all the PS healing thoughts and vibes I have to get well soon!


Aww thank you moneymeister! I would hate to impose though and as a first meeting well I can think of better circumstances...but I truly appreciate your kind thoughts!

Thanks movie zombie. I am glad you are doing well and all recovered from those accidents. Not fun times 3.
I will refrain from cutting my hair (for now) because I know it would make me feel worse than I already do. But I cannot go more than every other day in washing it unfortunately. That is going to be a real PITA. But I will deal. Thank you for the glucosamine/chondroiton tips too. I used to take those till I developed that esophageal problem but still have them around and perhaps I will start them again. And as soon as I am more mobile and have the surgery I will look into acupuncture as I have been meaning to do that for other reasons.

Thank you redwood and hugs to you too!

Callie, thank you. We will see. If you knew him you would understand what I am up against and since he is under no legal obligation to me there is no way he would lose 3 plus months of money by waiting for me. And if he hires someone it will not be temporary because no one would take the job then. No it will be replacement and that's that. But, perhaps you are right and he will surprise me. Stranger things have happened. And at this point it's now sort of last on my list of worries. The pain really colors everything. I am very glad your dear sister is back to doing all the activities she loves. Way to go.

My friend called me this morning and she's an ob/gyn. She's concerned about the pain I was describing to her despite the painkillers and now has me worried about something called compression syndrome or something like that. She said if the pain doesn't lessen I need to go back to the ER and I shouldn't wait till my Monday appointment. I hope she is just being super cautious because I truly do not have the strength to go back to the ER. On top of it all I have this unpleasant warm feeling on my torso and there is a rash there now. Ugh, pain med induced? What the heck can I do. I am going to will it away and not think about it. Peace and harmony and healing vibes that is my focus right now.

 

[monarch64]

Missy--wishing you an A+ surgery and a speedy recovery. Been there, done that. It sucks, but you'll be on the mend in no time. Thinking of you.