Reason for spending $$$ on e-ring?

[rockhoundofficiando]

I wear my e ring every day. I don't know anyone who has a (nice) ering that doesn't wear theirs. If you feel as though you must stretch your already generous budget to the point that it is "nuts", it is time to stop the ride and get off.

 

[larryjenkins]

I must ask, does the James Allen diamond in the link below shows a lot of yellow or is it the environment of the shoot?

Wanted to come back to add - as per your question, my engagement ring is MASSIVELY important to me - and that's after many years of marriage and many years of wearing this particular ring - which was a gift from my husband a few years back.

But by the same token - it's an H SI1, a little over 2ct - and I consider us to have gotten a good deal for what we spent. Personally, I would have NO hesitation in buying a well cut H SI1 stone, which is what I consider to be the sweet spot for quality vs value. There is a 2.03ct H SI1 True Hearts cut stone on JA for $21,780. So long as it was an accurately graded H, and eye clean, I see no problems with it and a whole lot of good things about it. I think that JA guarantees their True Hearts line to be eye clean also. So if size is your issue, this would be a great way forward.

http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut/2.03-carat-h-color-si1-clarity-excellent-cut-sku-267576

For what it's worth - I'm also attaching a photo of my ring. I think it's stunning - and I think you'll agree - no 'tint'.

 

[Gypsy]

Have you looked at these in person? Or just on line?

 

[larryjenkins]

I must add that my gf knows nothing about this so everything I want here is what I want to give her. I'm not well off, but I'm doing good enough to be able to give her something nice. But from a logical guy perspective, man these little things are expensive!!

This looks like a great stone at a compromise price (I saw that you were looking at WF in a previous thread):

http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-2994230.htm ($19,560 with PS wire discount)

I am all for trying to buy what the woman really loves and getting the best quality stone within a budget. But we often see guys on here say that their girlfriend is expecting a 2 ct diamond when he has $10k to spend. In those cases, they need to talk and she needs to understand that a she is likely to get under 1.5 cts at that budget.

 

[larryjenkins]

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

 

[Mayk]

I wear my ring everyday and it pains me to leave it in the cleaner. Too much time away... I did change my ering from a halo to a solitaire because I felt it fit my lifestyle better. But I'm have no interest in putting it in a safe.

Good for you asking the questions!

 

[recordaras]

I must add that my gf knows nothing about this so everything I want here is what I want to give her. I'm not well off, but I'm doing good enough to be able to give her something nice. But from a logical guy perspective, man these little things are expensive!!

I'm always very conservative when it comes to spending, so if you really are not as well off as you'd like - please don't spend $30K on a ring (especially without knowing *exactly* what your future fiance would like, which I'm assuming is the case since you said she isn't aware of all this). There are so many costs that come with starting a new family, and you will always be able to upgrade in the future when you actually are doing well enough to spend that amount.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

[quote="missy|1395401779|
Hi Larry, it's not so much the ER itself that is so important (though it does make me smile every day) but more so the fact that my dh wanted me to have the ring of my dreams and made that happen for me. And I wear my ER every single day and don't foresee putting it in a safe and just wearing a wedding band yanno? In fact most of my married friends wear their ER every day too and we have all been married a decade or longer. The ER is a visible part of our every day life.

missy...can you please convince my wife ?...

DF, if your wife doesn't wear that ring, you just send it to me and I'll wear it every single day!!! That way it gets some love and your wife won't even know the difference! It is a total waste for a diamond to sit in a safe deposit box or safe!

DS...she does wear her E-ring every single day!.. but what I meant was if missy can convince my wife to buy "ME" my dream diamond then I would be very grateful to her... [/quote]

(Good! I am glad that big rock is enjoyed!)

 

[missy]

[quote="missy|1395401779|
Hi Larry, it's not so much the ER itself that is so important (though it does make me smile every day) but more so the fact that my dh wanted me to have the ring of my dreams and made that happen for me. And I wear my ER every single day and don't foresee putting it in a safe and just wearing a wedding band yanno? In fact most of my married friends wear their ER every day too and we have all been married a decade or longer. The ER is a visible part of our every day life.

missy...can you please convince my wife ?...

DF, if your wife doesn't wear that ring, you just send it to me and I'll wear it every single day!!! That way it gets some love and your wife won't even know the difference! It is a total waste for a diamond to sit in a safe deposit box or safe!

DS...she does wear her E-ring every single day!.. but what I meant was if missy can convince my wife to buy "ME" my dream diamond then I would be very grateful to her...

(Good! I am glad that big rock is enjoyed!)

Dancing Fire- buy yourself the diamond ring if your wife doesn't want to!!!!
(As long as you clear the budget with her that is ) or, just have her call me and I'll do my best to convince her you need that big diamond ring.

What kind of diamond ring do you have in mind?

 

[n00bdiamond]

If I could chip in my 2 cents, I would say stick to the original 16k or under budget. Most of my circle of contacts/friends are doctors (MD/ MD/PhDs), lawyers, top 3 firm consultants almost all who are from top 10 schools who make over 150k a year in their early 30s. I'll tell you from my experience that you'll be in the top 5% if you spend over 15k on an engagement ring and i think you'd be the biggest spender in my circle of friends if you spend 29k. Even with the b*tchiest females, not once have I seen a case where the significant other complained about a 16k+ ring. The reality is that about 10k is the standard budget amongst my circle. I hope that will bring peace of mind to you when you purchase. Use your money elsewhere. There are tons of areas you need to spend money on (house, wedding, etc).

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

I am very confused . You have said you are increasing your budget to $29k yet you said above that you'd have to triple you budget??? The largest stone on that chart (which we are not certain of the accuracy anyway) is NYC and that is exactly the size stone you just said you were looking at.

I am still sticking with the idea that under 2 cts with something like an Emilya halo setting would be nice and 2.0 cts doesn't even need a halo so you could go with a solitaire and spend no more than $22k. If you do go back to $16k, I think you need to spend the whole amount on the diamond because you'll be back at the 1.7 range.

Can you tell us what size diamonds her best friends and sisters have? While it is certainly not necessary to have what others have, it is comfortable to fit into ones social circle. If all of her friends have 1 ct diamonds, I think she'll be uncomfortable having one so over the top. If they all have 2-3 cts, then I'd go for the 2 ct solitaire for now and consider the halo setting later if that is what she really wants.

 

[n00bdiamond]

Average in NYC and Cali over 2 carats???? I have a TOUGH time believing that. Please show me the source of that data.

 

[missy]

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

I am very confused . You have said you are increasing your budget to $29k yet you said above that you'd have to triple you budget??? The largest stone on that chart (which we are not certain of the accuracy anyway) is NYC and that is exactly the size stone you just said you were looking at.

I am still sticking with the idea that under 2 cts with something like an Emilya halo setting would be nice and 2.0 cts doesn't even need a halo so you could go with a solitaire and spend no more than $22k. If you do go back to $16k, I think you need to spend the whole amount on the diamond because you'll be back at the 1.7 range.

Can you tell us what size diamonds her best friends and sisters have? While it is certainly not necessary to have what others have, it is comfortable to fit into ones social circle. If all of her friends have 1 ct diamonds, I think she'll be uncomfortable having one so over the top. If they all have 2-3 cts, then I'd go for the 2 ct solitaire for now and consider the halo setting later if that is what she really wants.

As much as I dislike this fact it's true. Many of my friends have ER diamonds of around 3 carats so I never felt like my original ER was "out of place" and was never uncomfortable with the size. Though honestly that wouldn't sway me from getting the size I wanted and could afford. I was never one to follow the crowd. But if within your social circles the norm is for 2-3 carats that might help your decision. I stand by my original post in that you should be talking with your FI about all of this-budget constraints and what's on her ER wish list and what you can comfortably afford. This way you can come to a satisfactory resolution that is a win win for both of you re the ring.

 

[momhappy]

Hi fellow PSers,

I'm kind of stuck in a bind and hoping men and women can chime in on this topic. The issue I'm having is that I have stretched my budget to purchase an e-ring that I thought should be good enough to find out that I need to bump up the color, hence stretching my already stretched budget even further.

So I ask, how important is an engagement ring to you? I know women usually switch to their wedding bands eventually so the e-ring may be put away in a safe. If that is the case, why am I spending so much money? I try my best to give her the best and that is the only reason I am stretching and stretching my budget, but otherwise, it's starting to not make any sense to me anymore. The budget in question has been 16k to 22k to 26k and possibly 29k now. It's completely nuts!

What is your reason for spending more on a quality ring and why is it important?

Although I'm sure that there are women who don't wear their E-ring, I, personally don't know of any. Every woman I know (and I'm talking about women from their 30's to their 50's - so these are not newly weds) still wears her E-ring.
As far your question about the importance of a ring, that's a personal preference. To some women, it's very important and it's a piece of jewelry that they treasure for the duration of their marriage. For others, a ring holds little importance. Obviously, if your partner has specific criteria when it comes to an E-ring, then it sounds to me like it's something that's important to her. However, if you have a budget and don't feel comfortable spending more, than you should be having that discussion with her - not with a bunch of strangers on an online forum…. I wish you luck and congrats on your upcoming engagement

 

[momhappy]

If I could chip in my 2 cents, I would say stick to the original 16k or under budget. Most of my circle of contacts/friends are doctors (MD/ MD/PhDs), lawyers, top 3 firm consultants almost all who are from top 10 schools who make over 150k a year in their early 30s. I'll tell you from my experience that you'll be in the top 5% if you spend over 15k on an engagement ring and i think you'd be the biggest spender in my circle of friends if you spend 29k. Even with the b*tchiest females, not once have I seen a case where the significant other complained about a 16k+ ring. The reality is that about 10k is the standard budget amongst my circle. I hope that will bring peace of mind to you when you purchase. Use your money elsewhere. There are tons of areas you need to spend money on (house, wedding, etc).

Um, the b*tchiest females????
Interesting.

 

[CharmyPoo]

If I could chip in my 2 cents, I would say stick to the original 16k or under budget. Most of my circle of contacts/friends are doctors (MD/ MD/PhDs), lawyers, top 3 firm consultants almost all who are from top 10 schools who make over 150k a year in their early 30s. I'll tell you from my experience that you'll be in the top 5% if you spend over 15k on an engagement ring and i think you'd be the biggest spender in my circle of friends if you spend 29k. Even with the b*tchiest females, not once have I seen a case where the significant other complained about a 16k+ ring. The reality is that about 10k is the standard budget amongst my circle. I hope that will bring peace of mind to you when you purchase. Use your money elsewhere. There are tons of areas you need to spend money on (house, wedding, etc).

These stats ring true for what I see in Toronto as well.

To the original poster, please do not raise your budget. $16K is a mighty fine budget and can get your a beautiful ring. Did you know many of the most coveted rings on PS are under $20K and of those ... many cost under $15K!

 

[n00bdiamond]

Ok..just checked with my girlfriend and maybe i was a bit oblivious. Average price of diamond ring in my social circle is around 20k...I guess I don't pay much attention as a guy But still that should serve as some reference point.

 

[allowingtoo]

But what size Ring does she wear??

 

[CharmyPoo]

Me and my friends never talk about the costs of our rings. I only know the prices because of pricescope and my obsession with diamonds. Most of my girl friends really don't have an idea what each other's rings cost and people rarely asks to see a ring in detail.

 

[mrs-b]

I must ask, does the James Allen diamond in the link below shows a lot of yellow or is it the environment of the shoot?

Wanted to come back to add - as per your question, my engagement ring is MASSIVELY important to me - and that's after many years of marriage and many years of wearing this particular ring - which was a gift from my husband a few years back.

But by the same token - it's an H SI1, a little over 2ct - and I consider us to have gotten a good deal for what we spent. Personally, I would have NO hesitation in buying a well cut H SI1 stone, which is what I consider to be the sweet spot for quality vs value. There is a 2.03ct H SI1 True Hearts cut stone on JA for $21,780. So long as it was an accurately graded H, and eye clean, I see no problems with it and a whole lot of good things about it. I think that JA guarantees their True Hearts line to be eye clean also. So if size is your issue, this would be a great way forward.

http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut/2.03-carat-h-color-si1-clarity-excellent-cut-sku-267576

For what it's worth - I'm also attaching a photo of my ring. I think it's stunning - and I think you'll agree - no 'tint'.

Larry –

It’s impossible to tell from an online photo. My computer, for instance, has a gray overtone, which carries through to every picture I see online. But from having looked at the JA stone at least a dozen times, and stopping it at various points of its rotation, it seems clear to me that something deep tan colored is being reflected at certain points in various facets. Whether that’s affecting the overall tint of the stone, I can’t say, but my guess would be yes. Either way, remember that a stone is viewed from above, and to me this one looks good from that angle. But as I said – it’s impossible to say, so my suggestion would be to call JA and ask someone to eyeball the stone and give you an opinion. Also, JA offers a service where you can ask them to compare and contrast up to 3 stones you might be interested in, and send you a report on all three. I’ve done this in the past and it was very helpful.

I’ve owned stones every color from D through to K, and for my money, I prefer a well graded H. All grades cover a range of color; an H ranges from closer to a G through to closer to an I. So there can be a range of H’s – or of any color grades. For many years I never wore anything warmer than an F. But as my experience grew, I found that I preferred H colored stones for their softness. I now find D’s and E’s to be somewhat hard, while the K’s and below are more creamy and warm. But H’s, to my eye, are soft while still being white, and a well cut H will give the same amount of sparkle and light return as a well cut D; remember, light return is based on cut, not color.

I was working with a 25k budget as your latest budget of 29k is what precipitated your discomfort and this thread. The previous budget you stated was 26k, so I went 1k below that for both stone AND setting. You’ll spend whatever you like, of course, but unless this is a later-in-life marriage, or you’re tearing up Wall St at an early age, even the lowest budget you mentioned was very generous.

I wish you well with your search and will be following this thread to see where you ‘land’. Good luck!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

First of all, Dancing Fire made these up and second of all, you don't want to be average. I read somewhere that the average American is only two paychecks away from being homeless! Do you really want to be average? No. Also, I read the average American has than $5K in savings!

Spend what you're comfortable spending and for sure, don't spend away your entire savings.

 

[mrs-b]

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

Larry - I have no idea where Dancing Fire gets his stats. I wouldn't be too concerned about it if I were you.

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="missy|1395493749|3639302
Dancing Fire- buy yourself the diamond ring if your wife doesn't want to!!!!
(As long as you clear the budget with her that is ) or, just have her call me and I'll do my best to convince her you need that big diamond ring.

What kind of diamond ring do you have in mind? [/quote]


A well cut G/H eye clean 2.5ct MRB on a tension setting...

 

[Dancing Fire]

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

How did you come up with that (3X) if your budget is $29K... where do you live?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Ok..just checked with my girlfriend and maybe i was a bit oblivious. Average price of diamond ring in my social circle is around 20k...I guess I don't pay much attention as a guy But still that should serve as some reference point.

Lol!!!! That is exactly why I am asking him what those in their social circle wear! Again, not that we have to go along with the crowd at ALL. But let's face it, most of us don't want a ring much smaller than everyone we know, and I think some of us might be uncomfortable having a ring significantly larger than everyone else! So if he wants to surprise her and wants it to be a relatively safe surprise, knowing this information would help! (And I am, of course, talking about within the parameters of what he can afford.)

noobdiamond, I don't know about your budget, but now you have some important information!

 

[isaku5]

We live about one hour west of Toronto so we used to visit regularly to 'window-shop'. Of course, many others were doing just the same, but one store in particular stood out - Royal de Versailles on Bloor Street. No matter what time of day, people were swarming outside looking at the goodies and there were many wonderful baubles to choose from. This store was head and shoulders above anything one could see in Tiffany's or Birks - Toronto has both.

The gems that one could see there were beyond belief and priced accordingly. The uber-rich or those who had leveraged their way to such heights shopped there.

I always hoped that women making $$$$ shopped for themselves. We've all heard about the guys who can buy their way into women's hearts only to ditch them when someone 'better' comes along.

Sorry to be cynical, but this is real life in the 21st century.

 

[n00bdiamond]

Actually, I think diamondseeker made a fantastic point. What's your immediate social circle/family paying for their rings? I understand this is about "love" and all but let's be realistic. You don't want to be the lone outlier from your social circle who spent the least on a ring. On the other hand I don't think it's necessary for you to the lone outlier who went completely overboard. If you are somewhere in the middle and can't quite match up to your peers, pricescope will take care of your needs to get you a diamond on a budget!

 

[Dancing Fire]

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

First of all, Dancing Fire made these up and second of all, you don't want to be average. I read somewhere that the average American is only two paychecks away from being homeless! Do you really want to be average? No. Also, I read the average American has than $5K in savings!

Spend what you're comfortable spending and for sure, don't spend away your entire savings.

Prove me wrong!...

 

[larryjenkins]

Sorry for the confusion--I meant 3X my original budget. Probably over exaggerated, but I'm also talking about a super ideal 2+ct with great color and clarity? I could be completely off since I haven't ventured into that range... yet. Just kidding. My budget is now back down to my original budget.

I'm curious where you got the average carat sizes based on state because that's pretty crazy! I would have to triple my budget just to be average.

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

How did you come up with that (3X) if your budget is $29K... where do you live?

 

[Polished]

My budget is now back down to my original budget.

Yay! Put the adventure and happiness back into the project; it's the best gift you can give to your future wife.