Bad parenting? What do you think?

[pregcurious]

I don't trust articles. Unless I was there as a witness, I can't say bad parenting. I have of my own kids and experiences, and it makes me very nonjudgemental. I agree, however, that kids should not be able to roam free on artwork if there is a sign.

I am usually strict, but once I let my daughter run around in a waiting room, and I wasn't even aware it was happening because I was zoned out. My husband was with me, and he took control of the situation, and he told me afterwards that he could tell I was just too tired. That's what happens, when you have a baby (younger sibling) and you haven't gotten more than 5 hours of continuous sleep in over a year, and you still work full time because you have to earn monkey.

 

[partgypsy]

I've never had to earn monkey but it does sound difficult.

Get some rest!!!

 

[Circe]

The parents (that's not them in the photograph, btw, but the kid's aunt and uncle) respond:

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/our-nineyearold-was-just-being-antiestablishment-say-parents-of-girl-who-climbed-on-10m-tate-modern-sculpture-9098440.html

I think the title is clickbait, but the actual response doesn't sound unreasonable.

 

[momhappy]

The parents (that's not them in the photograph, btw, but the kid's aunt and uncle) respond:

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/our-nineyearold-was-just-being-antiestablishment-say-parents-of-girl-who-climbed-on-10m-tate-modern-sculpture-9098440.html

I think the title is clickbait, but the actual response doesn't sound unreasonable.

Obviously, it's difficult to tell, but that sure looks like the parents in the picture.
So because their girls are "cute and intelligent girls at the top of their class" means that it's okay???? And because "they were just interested" also somehow makes it okay???? My daughter is cute and intelligent too and she's quite interested in playing hide and seek in the expensive silk drapes at the high-end restaurant we sometimes eat at, so would that make it okay if I allowed her to do so? Heck no because I teach my cute & intelligent daughter how to behave in public. I'm sorry, but I find their response to the incident as equally as unsettling as the act itself. They are making excuses for a behavior that's simply not okay.

 

[Circe]

I can see how someone's sister would look like her - if you read the article, she says she ducked into the parking lot to get something from the car (and I suspect that as much as the press has sunken their teeth into this, it'd be stupid to lie).

Do I think kids should be encouraged to put their grabby little hands on everything? Oh, my stars and garters, NEIN - I can just say the Bayeux Tapestries after my grubby little boy got his hands on them.

Do I think accidents happen, especially with an inexperienced care-giver (kinda assuming the aunt and uncle are either unencumbered by children or unfamiliar with this one, if she makes a habit of this sort of thing). YEP.

And I do think it's absurd to devote this much international attention to a kid not damaging a piece of art and a woman being somewhat sniffy about it to a museum employee. If I had a nickel for every time I've seen that at the Met (where I roll my eyes and sometimes back the museum employees), I would be able to afford the 10 million dollar climbing wall.

No, the kid shouldn't have done it. But I can see a mom feeling a little defensive about her kid being the poster child for Our Failing Appreciation for Art when, philistinism or not, it's the sort of thing that happens every day. Put it in the same category as my sympathy for the kid who got YouTube famous for goofing off with a light-saber in line-of-sight of a camera ....

 

[momhappy]

I guess that's part of the problem - being defensive about the situation. Do we all make mistakes some times? Of course, but then own up to it, apologize, and move on with life. Saying that you have a delightful, curious, intelligent little girl does not take responsibility for the fact that they messed up. Defending bad behavior is not doing anyone any favors and what kind of message does that send to your kids? And if it was so harmless, then why not have the aunt/uncle step forward to explain/apologize?
I had an incident just last week where I was informed that my daughter was not following the rules during a particular event. Rather than make excuses for her behavior and explain how wonderful and intelligent my daughter is, I made my daughter apologize to the staff for her behavior and we had a big discussion about it on the way home (that included the consequences for her behaviors and how we would work to improve the situation the next time).
Despite how the incident at the museum occurred (and the fact that the art wasn't damaged per se), it still doesn't change the outcome (that a child used a piece of art in a museum like a jungle gym).

 

[Circe]

I guess that's part of the problem - being defensive about the situation. Do we all make mistakes some times? Of course, but then own up to it, apologize, and move on with life. Saying that you have a delightful, curious, intelligent little girl does not take responsibility for the fact that they messed up. Defending bad behavior is not doing anyone any favors and what kind of message does that send to your kids? And if it was so harmless, then why not have the aunt/uncle step forward to explain/apologize?
I had an incident just last week where I was informed that my daughter was not following the rules during a particular event. Rather than make excuses for her behavior and explain how wonderful and intelligent my daughter is, I made my daughter apologize to the staff for her behavior and we had a big discussion about it on the way home (that included the consequences for her behaviors and how we would work to improve the situation the next time).
Despite how the incident at the museum occurred (and the fact that the art wasn't damaged per se), it still doesn't change the outcome (that a child used a piece of art in a museum like a jungle gym).

On the bolded, we definitely agree! And I think I handle meltdowns/bad behavior in more or less the way you describe. But I think this new potential for anyone's random slip-up to turn into international news is invasive and likely to make a lot of people feel flustered. That whole piece has the tone of a phone interview, and the Daily Mail doesn't have the best reputation: I do wonder if she realized she'd be quoted extensively ....

 

[momhappy]

I think that part of what's happened here, is that the incident at the museum has become the poster child for "bad parenting" (or however one chooses to characterize the situation). There is a lot of talk these days about a lack of effective, responsible parenting (and an utter lack of discipline) and the effect it has had on society. The end result seems to be generations of children growing up spoiled, entitled, selfish, rude, etc., etc., etc.
A lot has changed over the years, and while I wouldn't necessarily say that I agree with things like spanking (which was the norm when I was a kid), etc., kids do seem to act "different" these days. As a parent, it irks me when my son or daughter brings home a "participation" ribbon and/or trophy after they lost at whatever competitive sport they were participating in. This idea that everyone is a winner or that everyone is "special" is not doing anyone any favors. Nor is defending the bad behavior of your child simply because you're too embarrassed to own up to the fact that maybe, just maybe, they/you actually messed up this time….