Are You Going to Pay for Your Kids' College?

[amc80]

We don't have college so most will go to a technical school or a university. Majority of these tertiary institutions are subsidized by the govt. Courses are changing and some professional degrees are now post graduate degrees eg medicine/ law are now a post graduate degree in Western Australia. Similar to the USA where u go to college and then university, however, in AUS, all of this type of education is in a university..

In the US, after you graduate high school, if you want to continue your options are either a junior/community college (2 year program), technical school, or a 4-year college/university. College and university are used interchangeably for a 4 year degree program. I think there used to be a difference between the two (IIRC, a college only offered undergraduate degree while a university offered advanced degrees), but there are now plenty of "colleges" that offer advanced degrees. College is used as the general term- most people will say "where are you going to college?" rather than "university." Hopefully that all made sense.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

We have a 28 year old son and paid for his ENTIRE education--pre-K to MBA. We felt the responsible thing for us was to ensure he would have tuition money {and books and lab fees}. I became ill when he was in high school and lost my drivers license as a result. I thought I was going to have to quit my job {if he left home and went to an out of state school}. He stayed home and drove me home from work every single day'. He was extremely mature about scheduling his classes and being available when I needed him and we felt he deserved a chance to go for his MBA on our dime He gradated with a GPA 3.92. {forgive a proud mom's bragging a bit}.

My husband's parents sent 4 boys to college and gave them cars {second hand}. My parents didn't believe higher educations was necessary for their daughters--yes, in the 70s there were people who thought higher education for women was a waste. I was on my own. It was very important for me to do better for our son.

 

[monarch64]

We have a 28 year old son and paid for his ENTIRE education--pre-K to MBA. We felt the responsible thing for us was to ensure he would have tuition money {and books and lab fees}. I became ill when he was in high school and lost my drivers license as a result. I thought I was going to have to quit my job {if he left home and went to an out of state school}. He stayed home and drove me home from work every single day'. He was extremely mature about scheduling his classes and being available when I needed him and we felt he deserved a chance to go for his MBA on our dime He gradated with a GPA 3.92. {forgive a proud mom's bragging a bit}.

My husband's parents sent 4 boys to college and gave them cars {second hand}. My parents didn't believe higher educations was necessary for their daughters--yes, in the 70s there were people who thought higher education for women was a waste. I was on my own. It was very important for me to do better for our son.

Amber, I would brag too! Your son sounds like a really good person. I can't believe some of the attitudes towards women not that very long ago. I was born in the 70s but have still come across a lot of people who still have those attitudes in my life, of all ages. I guess that's a different topic for a different thread, though.

 

[february2003bride]

We are done funding DD's (17 y/o) college fund and will fund our other (2) sons colleges as well (still saving those, as they are only 8 and 10). Our state (Va) has several amazing colleges for her to choose from. We've had the discussion that she knows that we have a college fund for her (she doesn't know the amount). If she chooses to go out of state, we will see what the difference is, and if we will pay for the additional cost or have her pay it. DH and I never had student loans and we do NOT want our children to start their adult life in debt.

That being said, our DD is a very grateful, frugal, level headed, good kid. She understands the value of a $, saves most of her babysitting money, and we've had many discussions with her on saving, debt, credit cards, loans, needing health insurance, etc. I might feel differently if she wasn't good with money. Also, I wish high schools taught financial education. I've heard some of her friends come home from the mall stating that they can't wait to be 18 and with jobs so they can get a credit card or two, so they can shop more. We've been trying to teach DD about the responsible way to handle credit. I've seen the affects of living beyond your means, financial desperation, bankruptcy, and credit card and student loan debt within my extended family, and I hope my children never have that.

 

[swingirl]

Our intent was to pay for our kids college education because we wanted them to have the experience and the degree. Along the way college got really expensive so while we've paid for most, the kids will end up with small student loans to pay off.

I don't know how any young person can pay for it themselves anymore. My son's state university cost $27,000 plus books a year. He has to live on campus because we don't live near a university that has his major. Scholarships are out of the question unless your family income is VERY low. There is no way a kid making minimum wage could earn and save $27,000 a year. He spent 2 years at the community college living at home and working part-time. He barely made enough for his gas money to and from school. When you stay in school extra years because you are going part-time you are delaying getting into your career and those years of income are lost. Plus, I know way too many kids who drop out of college after struggling to work, study, pay and live.

I would rather my kids have the benefit of an education early in life rather than inherit my money when they are 50.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Our intent was to pay for our kids college education because we wanted them to have the experience and the degree. Along the way college got really expensive so while we've paid for most, the kids will end up with small student loans to pay off.

I don't know how any young person can pay for it themselves anymore. My son's state university cost $27,000 plus books a year. He has to live on campus because we don't live near a university that has his major. Scholarships are out of the question unless your family income is VERY low. There is no way a kid making minimum wage could earn and save $27,000 a year. He spent 2 years at the community college living at home and working part-time. He barely made enough for his gas money to and from school. When you stay in school extra years because you are going part-time you are delaying getting into your career and those years of income are lost. Plus, I know way too many kids who drop out of college after struggling to work, study, pay and live.

I would rather my kids have the benefit of an education early in life rather than inherit my money when they are 50.

Ex post!...

 

[innerkitten]

Yes we are going to pay for our daughters college education. Already saving for it. I worked my way through college. School during the day, work at night....paying rent and bills tuition etc by myself. Not only did it take me forever to finish college but I think I developed some health issues from burning the candle at both ends for so long.

P.S. My husband is from England and his education was free! But from what I understand that's no longer the case in England.

 

[ViolaDiamante]

We don't have kids yet, but I am definitely planning on funding any future children's educations in full and I've been thinking it would be a good idea to start saving even before we start a family. My family did so for me, and now as an adult I can really see how that head start benefitted me. I also had a similar experience to Monarch, in that I wasn't a great student and probably took it a bit for granted, so I would like to avoid that problem with the future kids... I will also say that I didn't apply for any scholarships and probably won't want my children to either. I feel that if I/my family has the means to pay for school I wouldn't want to take an opportunity away from someone it may really make a difference for.
I also wonder what the future will bring for higher education in the US. I think once the economy is better and healthcare issues settle down, the cost of college and young people's education options will become a political issue. Something has to change.

Just to be clear but there is a difference between financial and academic scholarships. My children all received/will receive academic sholarships based on their extremely high GPA's, class rank, honor classes, and high SAT scores. They earned them through late hours and hard work. These have nothing to do with financial scholarships which are based on income.

I understand, I was actually referring more to merit based scholarships than financial ones. I also know that I am a minority for thinking this way. I just felt that since I was fortunate to have funds already set aside for school, if I applied for and received scholarships, even if they were merit based and I earned them with my qualifications, I could be getting that scholarship instead of someone who could have really benefitted from it. But like I said, its kind of an unusual opinion

edited: I used the wrong smiley

 

[diamondseeker2006]

That's really not the case, however. If the scholarship is solely merit based, then someone else who can afford the tuition will likely benefit from the scholarship. There are more need-based scholarships from what I have seen. I was thrilled for the merit based scholarships my children have received. There are also merit scholarships that are need-based as well, so you do not have to feel guilty if a child earns regular merit scholarship as it is not taking away funds from a needy student.

 

[Ximena]

Yes, we started a college fund when DS was born. I also opened a savings account for him to ‘manage’ when he gets older. Right now, he enjoys depositing B-day money from family in there quite a bit.
I'm going to echo posters who believe in keeping financials at bay from kids. My parents were generous and way too open about everything and yes, one of us took advantage of that, several times!

My 2 siblings and I did not have student loans but worked together throughout HS and college. I went to a non-party private university 16 miles from home and as a commuting student, it seemed like I missed out on 'campus life' but I actually had plenty of people at my house quite often ha! My goal was to save my parents 34k in living expenses for undergrad. That school costs $51k a year today.

Ditto Swingirl on delays. I was very lucky to work on weekends only. The school that you pick will make a difference too.
My brother and I are 11 months apart and graduated from HS same year. He went to Berkeley for same major with similar tuition costs. He graduated 1.5 years later than me due to course wait list.
Scholarships: There are all kinds out there, I was known as a great welder in HS, the American Welders Association granted me one for 4k.
Financial Aid: On my lurking days, someone advised 18 year olds declaring themselves 'independent'/'emancipated' from their parents to obtain as much aid as possible.
The 'trick' was for parents to avoid claiming teens as dependents in their taxes for 2 years as colleges would base aid on the student's income. Rules have changed. Only documented abused, abandoned, married, orphans, over 24 or with a legal dependent will be considered nowadays.
If the student isn't independent, his parent's income and assets help determine how much aid will be given. I was too busy drooling at settings to clarify that back then.

 

[nkarma]

We don't have kids yet, but I am definitely planning on funding any future children's educations in full and I've been thinking it would be a good idea to start saving even before we start a family. My family did so for me, and now as an adult I can really see how that head start benefitted me. I also had a similar experience to Monarch, in that I wasn't a great student and probably took it a bit for granted, so I would like to avoid that problem with the future kids... I will also say that I didn't apply for any scholarships and probably won't want my children to either. I feel that if I/my family has the means to pay for school I wouldn't want to take an opportunity away from someone it may really make a difference for.
I also wonder what the future will bring for higher education in the US. I think once the economy is better and healthcare issues settle down, the cost of college and young people's education options will become a political issue. Something has to change.

Just to be clear but there is a difference between financial and academic scholarships. My children all received/will receive academic sholarships based on their extremely high GPA's, class rank, honor classes, and high SAT scores. They earned them through late hours and hard work. These have nothing to do with financial scholarships which are based on income.

I understand, I was actually referring more to merit based scholarships than financial ones. I also know that I am a minority for thinking this way. I just felt that since I was fortunate to have funds already set aside for school, if I applied for and received scholarships, even if they were merit based and I earned them with my qualifications, I could be getting that scholarship instead of someone who could have really benefitted from it. But like I said, its kind of an unusual opinion

edited: I used the wrong smiley

Violoa, I get your point completely. I went to a middle/low income high school and most of the students did not have a savings fund for college. There were a lot of high acheiving students with parents that worked two jobs at minimum wage. There was so little scholarship money to begin with, it would have been nice for them if the pool of applicants was smaller. In general there are far too many students who deserve merit based scholarships than there is money for.

I like the varying opinions in this thread. When I have kids, I think it will depend on their personality and drive whether I will pay for college. My mom gave me the opportunity to learn at a young age what it was like to work for and completely pay for something myself, things like a laptop for college which in my friend group was just given to students. I really learned a lot from that. I find it interesting that a lot of people say they will pay, but as long as their child lives at home, does xy&z. I think that is an invaluable lesson about how if someone else pays, there are terms attached. If you want to do things your way, pay for it. I really would like to teach my kids this as well.

From my personal experience, the people that had some financial stake in their undergrad & complete financial stake in their graduate education, are more happy, adjusted, & thriving in their careers.

 

[mayerling]

We've been saving money for our son since he was born. I won't call it a 'college fund' because it's there for anything he might need - I mean something major, not a vacation in the Caribbean. The intention is to use it to cover college (at least undergrad if we can't afford post-grad), but if he gets e.g. scholarships then we'd probably give it to him as a wedding gift. My point, however, is that it is money that is being saved for him, not our money that if he doesn't use it for college we get to keep. I feel strongly about this because in that fund are money given to him from his grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.

 

[Lulie]

I like the varying opinions in this thread. When I have kids, I think it will depend on their personality and drive whether I will pay for college. My mom gave me the opportunity to learn at a young age what it was like to work for and completely pay for something myself, things like a laptop for college which in my friend group was just given to students. I really learned a lot from that. I find it interesting that a lot of people say they will pay, but as long as their child lives at home, does xy&z. I think that is an invaluable lesson about how if someone else pays, there are terms attached. If you want to do things your way, pay for it. I really would like to teach my kids this as well.

From my personal experience, the people that had some financial stake in their undergrad & complete financial stake in their graduate education, are more happy, adjusted, & thriving in their careers.

Not doable with today's tuitions. Dropout rate is still very high among 'going alone' students.
The main idea as a parent is to limit total borrowing to no more than what the student expects to earn the first year out of college [not always avail]. If at all possible, the student should limit her borrowing to federal student loans only with the possibility of forgiveness [not always the case].
Nothing is for free ever, If you have a sports scholarship, they own you, if you borrow there are maximums and often not enough. No parent wants graduate with two loans, they need to eat too.
Again, as a parent it's our job to encourage kids to get there and finish. At the end of process your kid will go where he/she needs to go, we all know that

 

[NovemberBride]

We fully intend to pay for college for our children and it will be my privilege to do so. We have been saving for their college educations since birth. Of course our retirement comes first, but saving for the kid's educations comes before vacations, fancy cars or bling. We are fortunate to be able to save at a level we expect will pay in full for the school of their choice. We are well aware that our children are not likely to be eligible for any financial aid other than loans and merit scholarships without a financial need component are few and far between, particularly at top schools.

My husband and I come from opposite ends of the spectrum. My parents are quite well off and paid for my entire college education, including books, rent and spending money at the school of my choice. This was and is the greatest gift they have ever given me. Not having to worry about money during college allowed me to experience many things that I may not have been able to if I had to worry about working. I was able to devote myself entirely to my studies and was able to explore all that my university had to offer. I was the president of my sorority, I played intramural sports, and participated in student government and many clubs and activities. With the course load at my university, if I had to work I would not have been able to do many of these things as I would have had to spend my non-working hours studying. I did my fair share of partying, but not to the detriment of my studies. I was also able to complete prestigious but unpaid internships over summer breaks that I could not have done if I needed to work to pay for school. I believe these internsips and the connections I made there helped me get where I am today. I graduated with honors and went on to law school, which I paid (am paying) for with loans. I have seen several people on this thread say they are glad they paid their way or plan to make their children pay their way because children who don't have to pay themselves don't appreciate it. I am certain this is true for some, but I am equally certain it is not true for others, such as myself.

My husband was raised by a single mother and went to both a private high school and university on academic scholarships. But he still had to worry about money for books, rent and spending money. As a result, he was not able to consider most internships as he needed paying jobs to make ends meet. He also chose his university because they offered him the most money. My husband has a very successful career, but his path was not as easy as mine.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My husband and I both have a strong belief in helping where we can--and my sons education is one of those things. Certainly there is RESP's from birth and scholarships that help in a strict dollar sense--but it is isn't just that , it is supporting him while living at home with transportation, meals and our presence. I think without the latter the former might not be necessary. We will continue to support him through Grad school if that is his desire--as needed. He is well aware where his obligations are in that regard--working a job as a means to that Graduate degree end. Last summer he save almost 100% of his income from his well paying job....because he wanted the $$ to help fund a summer internship abroad. He has already short listed/eliminated internships b/c they would drain his entire savings in four months, instead he is planning on others that might provide a stipend and have the same learning opportunity. I like his plan and way of prioritizing.

My parents paid for my first diploma, I paid for my degree and grad degree. But I was older and working so as an adult student that task was naturally my own and in Grad school I was very successful and as a result, scholarships were plentiful. My DH's parents supplemented all four of their children's undergraduate degrees (all have professional and three have graduate degrees), since they were top students, most was paid for through scholarship. But they bought a house a block from campus--so the boys could walk to University. That is where their education $$ went--and great investment it was/is!

cheers--Sharon

 

[ruby59]

I like the varying opinions in this thread. When I have kids, I think it will depend on their personality and drive whether I will pay for college. My mom gave me the opportunity to learn at a young age what it was like to work for and completely pay for something myself, things like a laptop for college which in my friend group was just given to students. I really learned a lot from that. I find it interesting that a lot of people say they will pay, but as long as their child lives at home, does xy&z. I think that is an invaluable lesson about how if someone else pays, there are terms attached. If you want to do things your way, pay for it. I really would like to teach my kids this as well.

From my personal experience, the people that had some financial stake in their undergrad & complete financial stake in their graduate education, are more happy, adjusted, & thriving in their careers.

Not doable with today's tuitions. Dropout rate is still very high among 'going alone' students.The main idea as a parent is to limit total borrowing to no more than what the student expects to earn the first year out of college [not always avail]. If at all possible, the student should limit her borrowing to federal student loans only with the possibility of forgiveness [not always the case].
Nothing is for free ever, If you have a sports scholarship, they own you, if you borrow there are maximums and often not enough. No parent wants graduate with two loans, they need to eat too.
Again, as a parent it's our job to encourage kids to get there and finish. At the end of process your kid will go where he/she needs to go, we all know that

Things have changed significantly since many of us went to school. I agree with Lulie that it is very difficult for children today to both work enough hours to pay for college and take the courses at the same time. It also depends greatly on the major. My son went to Bentley for accounting. He was able to maintain a part time job for a few hours on the weekends for gas money. But certainly not enough to pay for college. My daughter goes to Providence College and is on the pre med track. We have to remind her to eat, as her coursework takes up every second of her time. There would be no way for her to work a job.

My only requirement for my children is they take college seriously. That is their job.

 

[kalomeli]

Reading this thread makes me very glad I live in Finland. University tuition here is free but getting in to a college is a whole different story... I was lucky enough to get in to the school I wanted on the first try!

The government also gives financial aid (about $600) for students who progress well enough in their studies. Also student loans are available. Even though tuition is free and we get the financial aid, living expenses are very high and I'm glad that my parents were able to help me financially (rent mostly) during the time I've spent doing my Bachelor's and Master's. I've also worked a lot because that financial aid won't even pay your rent in the more expensive cities and I don't like being dependent from my folks no matter how awesome they are. I've been very lucky to have relatively well-paying jobs that actually support my career choice.

I also love the Finnish system where many students make their Bachelor's and Master's Thesis's for companies that actually pay for them! Everybody benefits: the student gets financial aid, college gets some research funds and the company gets research results from a problem of theirs. The student and the company also get a chance to see whether they are fit for each other (many a find job from the company they made their Thesis for).

Being able to get university level education regardless of your background is definitely a great thing. It makes me very sad to see that prep courses have more and more important role in the applying for college -phase. These courses cost up to $10000 which makes them unattainable for kids from not so well off families.

When it's my time I will do the same for my kids as my parents have done for me.

 

[tyty333]

We have Florida pre -paid for our kids for tuition only. Not sure if we will pick
up the room and board, books, lab fees and everything else. I'm planning
on them working summer jobs to have spending money throughout the year and to
pick up some of their other bills.

 

[pregcurious]

At least part of it. We have a college fund started for the kids. If they're not eligible for loans, I will probably have them pay their way for part of room/board. I had a part-time job all the way through college, and it was good for me (not good for my grades).

 

[swingirl]

Just to give you an idea... This is for a state run university for one year. As you can see room and board is more expensive than tuition. If an 18 year old is making $32K a year they probably don't need a college degree! So save up folks because it can only get more expensive.

Tuition and Fees** $13,398
Room and Board* $14,409
Books and Supplies* $1,419
Transportation* $690 (parking permit, bus fare, train fare, etc)
Personal Expenses* $1,539
Campus Health Insurance* $1,293 (can be waived if student has other medical insurance)

Total California Resident Budget $32,748

Undocumented students are able to get state aid and pay the in-state tuition whereas out-of-state students will pay an extra $15,102 a year.

 

[nkarma]

I like the varying opinions in this thread. When I have kids, I think it will depend on their personality and drive whether I will pay for college. My mom gave me the opportunity to learn at a young age what it was like to work for and completely pay for something myself, things like a laptop for college which in my friend group was just given to students. I really learned a lot from that. I find it interesting that a lot of people say they will pay, but as long as their child lives at home, does xy&z. I think that is an invaluable lesson about how if someone else pays, there are terms attached. If you want to do things your way, pay for it. I really would like to teach my kids this as well.

From my personal experience, the people that had some financial stake in their undergrad & complete financial stake in their graduate education, are more happy, adjusted, & thriving in their careers.

Not doable with today's tuitions. Dropout rate is still very high among 'going alone' students.The main idea as a parent is to limit total borrowing to no more than what the student expects to earn the first year out of college [not always avail]. If at all possible, the student should limit her borrowing to federal student loans only with the possibility of forgiveness [not always the case].
Nothing is for free ever, If you have a sports scholarship, they own you, if you borrow there are maximums and often not enough. No parent wants graduate with two loans, they need to eat too.
Again, as a parent it's our job to encourage kids to get there and finish. At the end of process your kid will go where he/she needs to go, we all know that

Things have changed significantly since many of us went to school. I agree with Lulie that it is very difficult for children today to both work enough hours to pay for college and take the courses at the same time. It also depends greatly on the major. My son went to Bentley for accounting. He was able to maintain a part time job for a few hours on the weekends for gas money. But certainly not enough to pay for college. My daughter goes to Providence College and is on the pre med track. We have to remind her to eat, as her coursework takes up every second of her time. There would be no way for her to work a job.

My only requirement for my children is they take college seriously. That is their job.

Just to be clear I said some financial stake in the undergraduate education meaning less than 100%.
And complete financial stake in graduate education (i.e. MBA, JD, M.S., M.A., PhD, etc...) which is very possible given that I and tens of other people I know have done it.

If your children do not qualify for a bank loan, you could also set up a personal loan between the two of you. Anyways, that was just my observation in my friend group...people that got a B.S. from top tier universities in CA 6-8 years ago.

 

[nkarma]

Just to give you an idea... This is for a state run university for one year. As you can see room and board is more expensive than tuition. If an 18 year old is making $32K a year they probably don't need a college degree! So save up folks because it can only get more expensive.

Tuition and Fees** $13,398
Room and Board* $14,409
Books and Supplies* $1,419
Transportation* $690 (parking permit, bus fare, train fare, etc)
Personal Expenses* $1,539
Campus Health Insurance* $1,293 (can be waived if student has other medical insurance)

Total California Resident Budget $32,748

Undocumented students are able to get state aid and pay the in-state tuition whereas out-of-state students will pay an extra $15,102 a year.

That is crazy!

College isn't supposed to be paid for by what an 18 year old can earn. It is about their future earnings so it's considered an investment by the parents and/or student. Whether it's financed or paid for in cash depends on people's situations.

 

[ruby59]

Just to give you an idea... This is for a state run university for one year. As you can see room and board is more expensive than tuition. If an 18 year old is making $32K a year they probably don't need a college degree! So save up folks because it can only get more expensive.

Tuition and Fees** $13,398
Room and Board* $14,409
Books and Supplies* $1,419
Transportation* $690 (parking permit, bus fare, train fare, etc)
Personal Expenses* $1,539
Campus Health Insurance* $1,293 (can be waived if student has other medical insurance)

Total California Resident Budget $32,748

Undocumented students are able to get state aid and pay the in-state tuition whereas out-of-state students will pay an extra $15,102 a year.

That is crazy!

College isn't supposed to be paid for by what an 18 year old can earn. It is about their future earnings so it's considered an investment by the parents and/or student. Whether it's financed or paid for in cash depends on people's situations.

In today's economy, by the time many are required to start paying back their loans, they may not be employed in their chosen fields at a salary where they are able to do so. It is why so many have to move back home with mom and dad because they cannot afford to rent or buy a home or move forward with their lives because of crushing student loans, especially those who turned to private loans with high interest rates.

 

[Trekkie]

Just to give you an idea... This is for a state run university for one year. As you can see room and board is more expensive than tuition. If an 18 year old is making $32K a year they probably don't need a college degree! So save up folks because it can only get more expensive.

Tuition and Fees** $13,398
Room and Board* $14,409
Books and Supplies* $1,419
Transportation* $690 (parking permit, bus fare, train fare, etc)
Personal Expenses* $1,539
Campus Health Insurance* $1,293 (can be waived if student has other medical insurance)

Total California Resident Budget $32,748

Undocumented students are able to get state aid and pay the in-state tuition whereas out-of-state students will pay an extra $15,102 a year.

That is crazy!

College isn't supposed to be paid for by what an 18 year old can earn. It is about their future earnings so it's considered an investment by the parents and/or student. Whether it's financed or paid for in cash depends on people's situations.

In today's economy, by the time many are required to start paying back their loans, they may not be employed in their chosen fields at a salary where they are able to do so. It is why so many have to move back home with mom and dad because they cannot afford to rent or buy a home or move forward with their lives because of crushing student loans, especially those who turned to private loans with high interest rates.

I also think this is due to students having limited life experience and unrealistic expectations - possibly a result of poor parenting? Not sure, but I wonder...

I work for a university, and I can't tell you how often I see students take on six figures in student loans to study drama or philosophy or ethnomusicology or some such arbitrary subject that doesn't end in a career that pays enough to repay those loans.

Surely when these kids want to do these subjects there's an adult somewhere trying to talk some sense into them? Why don't they listen?

 

[diamondringlover]

I paid for half of my oldest son's first year of college..but I did not pay anymore after that, he was dropping and flunking classes. I refused to help anymore because he wasn't taking it seriously..he finally dropped out after 2.5 years and he is still paying on those loans 10 years later..he does have a good job now, but its just a job, its not want he wanted to do...this makes me sad, I wanted better for my kids and I did everything I could think of to help him achieve it. I am not rich at all, hell we live paycheck to paycheck so we struggled to help with half of the first year. I have my younger son coming up on college in fall of 2015, I hope he will go to college and I will try and help as much as I can, hopefully he takes it more seriously. I wished I could afford to pay for their college, but realistically its just not financially possible

 

[Ximena]

Just to be clear I said some financial stake in the undergraduate education meaning less than 100%.
And complete financial stake in graduate education (i.e. MBA, JD, M.S., M.A., PhD, etc...) which is very possible given that I and tens of other people I know have done it.

If your children do not qualify for a bank loan, you could also set up a personal loan between the two of you. Anyways, that was just my observation in my friend group...people that got a B.S. from top tier universities in CA 6-8 years ago.

Hi nkarma,
I'm not doubting your friends data but I'm afraid is dated. What I would like to clarify is that 'some' is no spare change here. I'm quite familiar with top tier schools in CA: CIT, Stanford, Berkeley, UCLA, USC, Pepperdine, etc. pretty close in tuitions [depeding on scholarships].

Just to give you a clear idea and I'm not going to add sorority [1-2K per year], transportation and insurance.

Tuition $41,250
Room and Board $12,721 [I commuted]
Books $ 1,500
Fees $ 975
Personal expenses [paid for mine]
Annual cost $56,446

Estimated 4 year total cost for undergrad is $225,784

Most of us acquired HS scholarships from community work, businesses, special talents and internships but nothing major. Merit Scholarships were popular so yes, our kids have to do well in HS.
A typical Californian gets:
Pell Grants is given to 18% who apply must be a FULL time student [max 5K with time limitations]
Federal Loan 18% [max $7k ]
Cal Grant A awarded for 'some' private colleges most UC and public with the maximum of 9K.
Cal Grant B provides low income students with living expenses leaving hard working parents at bay.
Cal Grant C helps pay for occupational/tech schools only with the max of 3k per year for 2 years.
Student loans from schools are not free; you cannot dismiss student loans via bankruptcy.

I'm with Trekkie: friends in Bio, Engineering, Art & Criticism and Anthropology paid similar tuition costs; please help your kids pick the right major?
Money is a touchy subject, it's possible that your friends left out 'most' details. I know my parents did.

 

[monarch64]

I paid for half of my oldest son's first year of college..but I did not pay anymore after that, he was dropping and flunking classes. I refused to help anymore because he wasn't taking it seriously..he finally dropped out after 2.5 years and he is still paying on those loans 10 years later..he does have a good job now, but its just a job, its not want he wanted to do...this makes me sad, I wanted better for my kids and I did everything I could think of to help him achieve it. I am not rich at all, hell we live paycheck to paycheck so we struggled to help with half of the first year. I have my younger son coming up on college in fall of 2015, I hope he will go to college and I will try and help as much as I can, hopefully he takes it more seriously. I wished I could afford to pay for their college, but realistically its just not financially possible

I'm so sorry to hear you've struggled with this! You were trying to help your son and it didn't turn out with the result you wanted/your son wanted. But. Some people aren't meant to pursue a traditional education. What did he want to do? It's not necessarily BAD that your oldest son hasnt' yet obtained his degree. Please don't take that personally! Your younger son will do whatever he's gonna do. Whatever he feels like doing. You did great as a parent to even try to provide. Don't beat yourself up.

 

[nkarma]

Just to be clear I said some financial stake in the undergraduate education meaning less than 100%.
And complete financial stake in graduate education (i.e. MBA, JD, M.S., M.A., PhD, etc...) which is very possible given that I and tens of other people I know have done it.

If your children do not qualify for a bank loan, you could also set up a personal loan between the two of you. Anyways, that was just my observation in my friend group...people that got a B.S. from top tier universities in CA 6-8 years ago.

Hi nkarma,
I'm not doubting your friends data but I'm afraid is dated. What I would like to clarify is that 'some' is no spare change here. I'm quite familiar with top tier schools in CA: CIT, Stanford, Berkeley, UCLA, USC, Pepperdine, etc. pretty close in tuitions [depeding on scholarships].

Just to give you a clear idea and I'm not going to add sorority [1-2K per year], transportation and insurance.

Tuition $41,250
Room and Board $12,721 [I commuted]
Books $ 1,500
Fees $ 975
Personal expenses [paid for mine]
Annual cost $56,446

Estimated 4 year total cost for undergrad is $225,784

Most of us acquired HS scholarships from community work, businesses, special talents and internships but nothing major. Merit Scholarships were popular so yes, our kids have to do well in HS.
A typical Californian gets:
Pell Grants is given to 18% who apply must be a FULL time student [max 5K with time limitations]
Federal Loan 18% [max $7k ]
Cal Grant A awarded for 'some' private colleges most UC and public with the maximum of 9K.
Cal Grant B provides low income students with living expenses leaving hard working parents at bay.
Cal Grant C helps pay for occupational/tech schools only with the max of 3k per year for 2 years.
Student loans from schools are not free; you cannot dismiss student loans via bankruptcy.

I'm with Trekkie: friends in Bio, Engineering, Art & Criticism and Anthropology paid similar tuition costs; please help your kids pick the right major?
Money is a touchy subject, it's possible that your friends left out 'most' details. I know my parents did.

I heard that at one point the UC system was considering charging more for science degrees.

I am not sure how I am being misinterpreted here, but it must be my writing. I am not saying parents need to or should do anything. I am also not saying that college costs less or more than it used to. I am just saying what my experience is which I am very aware will differ from other people's experiences.

 

[MonkeysInk]

We have three children, and one will have paid in-state tuition/fees through my husband's Hazlewood Act benefits (for veterans who entered service with Texas as their declared state of residence). We're hoping that one or more of them will choose to go to a federal academy. My husband is an alum of one and has great connections, experience and mostly free education as a result.

My middle son would graduate from my husband's alma mater exactly 40 years later. And both of my sons' godparents' are graduates of the same academy. No pressure or anything.

 

[Indylady]

My parents paid for living expenses while I was in undergrad, an exchange program with another school for a summer class, and a couple graduate classes that cost more than my scholarship would cover, along with other school fees (transportation fee (applies to all--funds the bus system), parking fee, lights fee (due to budget cuts by my last year) and I had a full merit based scholarship for tuition. Even 'full scholarship' doesn't mean that you won't pay at least $5k-10k on your own to cover additional expenses, not even including living costs.

I'm incredibly grateful that my parents paid what they did, and that they had the ability to help me.

As for graduate school, they paid for my living expenses for the first few semesters, and I paid for tuition on my own and living expenses after those semesters. I have a lot of debt from graduate school, but it was 'worth it' for me.